Star-Crossed Lovers Of District 12
by Mjenney21
Summary: What happened at the end of the 74th Hunger Games? Katniss and Peeta are struggling to adjust to reality, but will they overcome everything and find love at last? Follows the same story line as Catching Fire. It will have more romance, drama and happy times for our 'star-crossed lovers' Katniss and Peeta.
1. Not Real

**Author's Note: This is actually my first ever fanfiction, I have always loved writing stories, but I've never actually done anything with it, so I thought I'd try this. Anyway, please review, I'd love to know what people think of my writing and what I could improve on, I think it would really help me. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own hunger games or any of the characters, they are all Suzanne Collins's.**

**Chapter 1**

I can't believe I had just done that. I feel like such a horrible person. It's not the fact I told Peeta it was all an act, because it was. Well, most of it was. I'm not exactly willing to think which parts were real and which weren't. Doing that means I have to think back over the games, and I know I'm not ready for that. Ever. So that means that any emotion I have for Peeta must be shut down; locked away in a box I will never open, stored away in the deepest darkest places of my mind. At least, that's what I tell myself. Any resolve I made just faded away when I told him. It was awful, and I know I'll never forget it…

_Haymitch walked back to the train, and then the door slammed shut. There was silence in the field; I could only hear the rustling of the grass and the wind whipping my hair. Normally, that would calm me, but instead I felt this uneasy silence that made me very uncomfortable. I looked over at Peeta; his features were twisted in a mask of confusion. _

"_What did he mean?" Peeta asks. I sigh deeply. Tell him the truth Katniss. Tell him the truth. _

"_It's the Capitol. They didn't like our stunt with the berries." I blurt out. _

"_What? What are you talking about?" He says. He still doesn't understand. Either he has no idea what's at stake, or he's really stupid. But somehow, I know that Peeta is many things, but stupid is not one of them. Again I repeat my mantra. Tell him the truth._

"_It seemed too rebellious. So Haymitch has been coaching me through the last few days. To make sure that I didn't mess it up."_

"_Coaching you? But not me." He says. I can almost feel the cogs whirring around in his brain, trying desperately to figure out something, but he's blinded. By what, I have no idea._

_I know I have to say something, so I say something stupid about him being smart enough to get it right. Haymitch told me to tell him that, he said it would make things easier, diffuse the tension a little. But it hasn't. If anything, it's made it a million times worse. _

"_I didn't know there was anything to get right," Peeta says slowly. Then I see the truth dawn on him. He looks as though he can't believe what I've done. He rakes a hand through his tousled blonde hair, and I suddenly find myself fascinated with the way the sunlight reflects of it. Wow, that was weird, I think. Stop right there. You promised yourself that any emotion would be shut down. _

"_So, what you're saying is, these last few days, and then I guess…back in the arena…that was just some strategy you two worked out." Before I can stop myself, I blurt out,_

"_No. I mean, I couldn't even talk to him in the arena, could I?"_

"_But you knew what he wanted you to do, didn't you?" He whispers. I bite my lip. I never knew that telling the truth could be so horrible._

"_It was all for the games, how you acted..."I feel terrible, so I say,_

"_Not all of it." I clutch my flowers tightly. Now I'm thinking of them as flowers, rather than weeds. Is that a good thing? _

"_Well, how much was real?" He asks. Oh no, how do I answer this question when I don't even know the answer myself? _

"_No, forget that," I hear him say. I can't help but feel relieved. "I guess the real question is, what's going to be left when we get home?" I stop and think about this. What will be left when we get home? There's only one way to find out._

"_I don't know, the closer we get to District 12, the more confused I get." I say, I know he wants more, a better answer than what I have given him. Unfortunately, it's the best answer I've got. Peeta stands in front of me, his arms crossed, waiting. I can't look into his eyes. I know if I do, I will be filled with shame and guilt. So I don't._

"_Well, let me know when you work it out." He says. I can hear the pain in his voice, and he sharply turns away from me like he's going to walk away, but then he stops and turns back to me. _

"_I guess you won't need these anymore." He says harshly, plucking the flowers out of my hand. I'm so stunned, I can't move, so I just watch as he rips the heads off the flowers and tosses them to the ground. They scatter around my feet, until I'm surrounded by a ring of pink and white flowers. Peeta turns and walks away, wobbling slightly as he tries to control his prosthetic leg. At one point, he stumbles a little and I want to rush and help him, but my pride won't let me. When he's nearly at the train door, he turns and looks at me one last time. My heart nearly shatters at his appearance. He is pale with shock, watery eyes filled with unshed tears. He looks far too skinny from his time in the arena, and his shoulders are slumped with rejection. His whole body sends out one word, hopelessness. Then he gets on the train and the door slams so loud I could probably hear it 3 valleys away. I just stand there, one hand stretched towards the train, the other clutching my skirt…_

I shudder away from the memory. That was about an hour ago. When I'd been able to move again, I'd sunk to the ground and picked up one of the pink flowers. I clutched it in my hand like a lifeline, then stood up and got on the train. I entered the living quaters and Effie was there, touching up her makeup. When she saw me, she stood up and walked over to me, kissing my cheek.

"Hello my little victor!" she smiled at me, and she was bubbling with so much enthusiasm that even I had to smile.

"Are you looking forward to going back to District 12? I know I am! Can you imagine the reception? I simply cannot believe that there has been two victors, which has never happened before so I'm sure that the festivities will be perfect. Nothing but the best for my two victors!" She gushed, putting the emphasis on the fact that we were hers, like we were some sort of possession. I was about to argue with her, but then she asks where Peeta is, and the guilt took over me again. I made some pathetic excuse about him taking a nap or something but she seemed to believe it. Effie began to babble about Peeta and I winning again so I left the room, I could not stand to be in the same room as her. I went back to my bedroom to try and find something to do. For a while, I just sit and stare out of the window, hoping to see the first signs of District 12. However, I don't see anything, just lots of fields. I haven't seen any other districts on this train, but maybe that's the whole point. The Capitol don't want anyone to see the districts. I wonder why.

There is a sharp knock on my door. I jump up, and glance at the clock. I've been sitting here for hours! The knock comes again. I go to the door and open it with a sigh. Effie stands there, in yet another attire. It makes me wonder how many times a day this woman changes her clothes. Effie smiles at me and tells me it's time for dinner. I follow her into the dining cart and sit down in a seat. It's only then I realise how hungry I actually am. A huge plate of roast dinner later, I'm feeling a lot better. Haymitch staggers into the car and flops down in his seat. He's incredibly drunk. Again. I don't know why to be honest, when he has two victors and is going back to his home. He has nothing bad to forget. Still, I have to be grateful to him. He did get me and Peeta out of the arena alive. Still, maybe it would be best if Peeta had died in the arena because then he wouldn't hate me and President Snow wouldn't want to kill me either. I sigh. Life can be so complicated.

"Haymitch, where's Peeta?" I ask him. Haymitch looks away and focuses on his drink. I hope he isn't ignoring me too. Finally he looks up at me.

"Why do ya wanna know?" he asks. I find that quite rude. He looks at me like I've done something terrible, and I haven't. Well, I have, but Haymitch doesn't know this. Does he?

"He's my friend," I say quietly. "We've been through hell and back together. Is it a crime to want to know where he is and if he's alright?" Haymitch looks angry now.

"Sweetheart, I think you've lost the right to know if he's okay. He's pretty upset right now, you need to leave him alone. You being there will make this already shitty situation a million times worse, if that's even possible. He'll forget this ever happened in the morning, with all the booze he's had." He slurs. Wait what? Peeta drinking? Oh no.

"What's going on?" Effie asks. She is sitting across from us, listening intently to our conversation. Sometimes, I forget how observant Effie can be. I pretty much always assume she is doing something frivolous such as changing her hairstyle a million times a day. I always seem to underestimate her. I just don't like it when she says what she sees.

"Effie, this is none of your business, so butt out!" I snap. She looks at me, and I can see the hurt in her eyes. This makes me feel bad. She was only trying to help, and I was rude to her. I'll be sure to add her to the growing list of names of people I have upset today.

"Haymitch," I say, trying to keep my voice down. " How much has Peeta had to drink?" This could be disastrous. As far as I'm aware, Peeta has never had alcohol, and if he's had a lot, that could be seriously bad for his body. He can't get wrecked like Haymitch!

"Haymitch, think!" I yell at him. I'm furious with him for letting Peeta get drunk. Any respect for him is long gone.

"Well… we had a few pints, some wine, a few shots, not that much." He grins at me, and I nearly gag at the smell of his breath. I have to find him, to know if Peeta's okay. This is all my fault, god knows what could happen. Quickly I stand up from my chair, and run out of the room. I can hear Haymitch shouting behind me, but I pay no attention, and I know he will be in no condition to follow me. Suddenly, the train starts off again, and the movement throws me back into the wall. I guess they must have finally fixed the problem. I hit my head on something hard and metallic, and I fall to the floor. I instantly get up again, even though my head hurts like hell. I gently touch the bump, my head throbbing with pain.

"Dammit," I curse, but I know I have to carry on now. I have to find Peeta, to know if he's alright! A few minutes later, I come across the sleeping quarters. I rush past all the doors, to the fifth one down. I push against the silver door, but the stupid thing won't open. I twist the handle, but it still won't open. Then I notice the passcode on the wall and realise I don't know the code. I'll never get in! Then I have an idea. What if I use my passcode? It might work! I punch the code in as fast as I can, and the door opens. Finally! Then I scan the room, and I let out a gasp when I see Peeta and the state he's in…

**Author's Note: Cliffhanger! Don't worry, I'll try and write more if people like this story. Please remember to review, I can't say enough how much it would mean to me.**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	2. Consequences

**Author's Note: Hello! I've finally put up my new chapter, I want to say a massive thank you to anyone who has reviewed, followed or favourite my story! Hope you enjoy and please remember to leave a review so I know how I'm doing.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Hunger Games. They are all the invention of Suzanne Collins.**

_I punch the code in as fast as I can, and the door opens. Finally! Then I scan the room, and I let out a gasp when I see Peeta and the state he's in…_

Chapter 2

Peeta is curled up on the floor, groaning in pain. He has vomit all over his face and clothes, and his hair sticks to his forehead in sweaty clumps. He looks even worse than he did when I found him by the river and that was bad. At least, in the arena, he didn't deliberately try to hurt himself! He's gone through all this pain for me, this horrible self-inflicted torture, and all I have done is thrown it back in his face. Seeing this just makes me think what a truly horrible person I am. But I know this is something I can put right. Gently, I reach over and touch his shoulder, one place that isn't coated in vomit.

"Peeta?" I ask. For a few seconds, I think he isn't going to respond, but then his eyes open and he glances at me before he groans again.

"Peeta, I'm gonna sort you out. You'll be okay, just calm down and let me help you." He nods a little, which I presume means he will let me. I sit back on my heels and think about how exactly I could do that. In the arena, he could at least walk; I think if I tried to move him now then he'd get worse. It amazes me how he managed to back to his compartment. That boy's willpower is astonishing. Then I get an idea. The first thing I do is grab all the remaining bottles and tip them down the sink. I gag as the foul smell reaches my nose and burns my throat. How does anyone drink this and enjoy it? I have no idea. After pouring every drop away, I drop the bottles into the bin. I hear them smash as they land. Every time the bottles smash, I feel relief, knowing that Peeta can't drink them anymore. In the other room, I hear Peeta's moans, and I can tell he is getting worse. I hurry back to him, and he looks like he is about to pass out. I realise that I can't do this alone, I'll need some help to even get him into the bathroom. I kneel down beside him and kiss his sweaty forehead.

"Stay here Peeta. I'm going to get some help. I just need you to hang on for a few minutes but then I'll be back and everything will be sorted out. Promise?" He nods, and opens his mouth as if to say something but no words come out. He's in too much pain to even speak. I can feel tears spring up in my eyes, and I have to leave the room so no-one will see my tears.

Once again, I'm running through the halls, only this time wiping away hot tears that stream down my face. Even though my vision is blurry, I somehow still know what I'm doing and know exactly where to go. I'm heading to Cinna's studio. I don't trust anyone else on this train, and I know Cinna will help without word getting out to the media. We have enough to deal with without them sticking their noses in. I find it so unfair that Peeta and I are the only thing anyone wants to know about these days. I know we won the Hunger Games, and I suppose that is sort of a big deal, but I had no idea that it was so stressful being in front of cameras! I burst into Cinna's studio, where fortunately I find him, nose deep in sketchbooks. He shuts the sketchbook quickly as I come in, and jumps up. I frown a little, wondering what he has in those sketchbooks that he can't show me. However, I don't have much time to think it over before he asks,

"Katniss? What's the matter? "Why are you crying?"

"Cinna, you have to help me," I tell him. "Peeta's not well and I don't know what to do and…" I trail off, after running out of things to say. I'm panting like I've run a marathon, which is sort of strange for me because normally I can deal with sprinting for much longer without getting out of breath. Cinna walks over to me, and his puts his hands on my shoulders. Him being near me calms me down instantly. He is such a good friend, and I don't know what I would do without him.

"Don't worry Katniss, everything will be okay. I'll call some avoxes; they help us sort it out. And before you ask, I won't say a word." I feel so grateful. I'm sure the avoxes have had to deal with Haymitch many times, so I'm pretty sure they will be able to handle Peeta. Cinna requests two avoxes to go to Peeta's room and we head back there. I'm dreading seeing Peeta like that again. Once was bad enough, I'm not sure I can handle a second time. When we get back Peeta is constantly making faint groans, and he looks like he is struggling to breathe. I'm not sure what Cinna's reaction was to the situation, he seemed very calm and had a blank emotion on his face. We sit down in the chairs, breathing shallowly so that the putrid stench doesn't burn our throats as much, and wait for the avoxes to arrive.

We wait what seems like forever before the avoxes finally arrive. I notice one of them is the girl who was assigned to my floor just before I went to the Games. She smiles at me, and I return it. Cinna tells the avoxes what they have to do, and they quickly agree to help us. I feel bad, they probably have tasks to do and will be punished for not doing them, but they so readily agree to help me, to help us. Its times like these that remind me that avoxes were traitors at some point, and they also probably hate the Capitol even more for stopping their ability to speak. Between the four of us, we manage to drag Peeta into the bathroom. We sit him down on the toilet seat, and I lay a hand on his shoulder to steady him. The bathroom is very crowded, with 5 people and almost a thousand products on the shelves. Now, I need to do this myself. I needed some people to help me carry him, but now I reckon I should be fine. I tell everyone that they can leave now, and I thank them for helping. To be nicer still, in case they need it, I write notes explaining why the avoxes haven't been working this afternoon. They look at me with gratitude and squeeze my hands, slipping the notes into their pockets. Then they leave and I turn my attention back to Peeta. I assess him silently, wondering what my mother would do in these circumstances. I wish I could call her, I know she would be a massive help right now.

"Katniss?" I hear a quiet voice behind me. I jump as I realise Cinna never left. I turn to face him, and I can see him studying me.

"Will you be alright on your own?" He asks.

"I think I will be okay." I reply. "I'll manage." And I will, I tell myself silently. This whole scenario is completely my fault. I hurt Peeta. I made him want to forget so he drank all that alcohol. I made him pass out. I made him sick. Realising all this makes me want to cry again. God Katniss, what's with all the crying? I think. This is not normal behaviour for me. I come back to the present and realise that I had let a few tears escape and Cinna is staring at me with a frown on his face.

"Well, if you're sure…" He trails off. "I'll be in my studio if you need me." He touches my shoulder then leaves. I breathe a sigh of relief. As much as I like Cinna, I need to be alone. I need to look after Peeta.

Right, onto the next stage of my plan. I remember my mother telling me one of the best ways to let the alcohol leave the body is to sleep it off. But since Peeta is in a complete mess, covered in vomit and god knows what else, I need to clean him up. I turn to the huge bath in the corner of the room. It's a huge square shape, tiled with teal hexagons. At the side, there is a waterproof control panel that allows the bath to cater for any type of bath you wish. I turn on the taps, and steam instantly fills the room. Now comes the difficult bit. Well, it's not really difficult, just more awkward. Peeta needs to wash, but I can't leave him alone. Which means…I'm going to have to take a bath with Peeta. I kneel besides him, and stroke his hair.

"It's going to be alright Peeta, I promise." Gently, I undo the buttons on his shirt and I thank god that he's wearing a button shirt. I pull the shirt off him, and throw it straight into the bin next to the toilet. Normally, I would never throw away clothes, but in this case, I don't think the clothes can be saved. They are too dirty.

"Peeta?" I ask him. He opens one eye but as he does, I can see him about to pass out again.

"Peeta, you can't pass out again. I just need you to stand up for a few seconds, and then you can sit down again. Think you can do it?" He nods weakly as I stand. I wrap an arm around his waist and pull. Somehow, he manages to stand, even though he is swaying a little. Quickly, I undo the zip, and tug his trousers off his hips. I gulp a little. I am face to face, with Peeta's underwear. I avert my eyes, trying not to stare, even though I really want to. Luckily for me, Peeta can't stand up any longer and he collapses onto the toilet seat again. He leans his head against the wall and sighs. I stand up and turn around so he can't see me and strip down to my underwear. Never have I been so glad for black underwear! I turn around and turn off the water. I help Peeta to stand and we sink into the warm water. I quickly realise that Peeta needs me to support him so we both end up at one end of the bath, with Peeta lying between my legs with his head resting on my chest. I feel this weird sort of comforting intimacy between us and it allows me to relax. I realise that I have never been this close to him, but I like it, and I allow myself to sink back against the edge of the bath. Gently, I wash the vomit off his chest and hair, until he is clean. I don't know what I washed him with, but whatever it was has the most amazing smell. It's manly yet alluring, fragrant and seems to radiate a sense of power and masculinity. I shake my head to clear my thoughts. Why I am thinking like this I don't know. I swear I promised myself to shut down and lock away any emotion. I feel like that box has been ripped open and I've lost the key…

After a few minutes of contemplating this, I decide it's time to get out the bath, so I drain the water, and I wrap huge towels around us both. By the time I've done this, Peeta has nearly fallen asleep. His eyes are drooping and he keeps nodding off. He must be so tired. I help him into bed, and as soon as his head hits the pillow his eyes close. I rummage around in his drawers until I find a t-shirt of his then sit beside him on the bed, wearing nothing but my underwear and his shirt. I'd go get one of my own, but I daren't leave him and anyway, it's comfy. I stroke Peeta's hair to relax him. His eyes open as I realise he hasn't fallen asleep yet.

"Katniss," He whispers. "Thanks…" and then he falls asleep. I smile and kiss his forehead, soothing him into sleep.

**Authors Note: I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! Please review to let me know what you think, I am so grateful to anyone who takes their time to tell me what they think. I'll write the third chapter soon.**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	3. Changes

**Author's Note: Hey guys! I've put up my third chapter! I'm really happy that this story is getting really positive reviews, it means so much to me that you guys are enjoying this story, especially as this is my first fanfiction. Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Hunger Games, everything is the property of Suzanne Collins.**

"_Katniss," he whispers. "Thanks…" and then he falls asleep. I smile and kiss his forehead, soothing him into sleep. _

Chapter 3

I spend all night at Peeta's side. I simply lean against the headboard, tuck my legs under my chin, and watch him. I know it sounds a little creepy, but I get a lot of mixed emotions when I watch Peeta sleep. I feel glad, knowing that he needs a good night's sleep. Then I start to feel jealous. How is it that we went through the same ordeal, yet he is not plagued by the nightly terrors that consume me? But underneath it all, I feel this strange sort of comfort knowing that he is not worried about anything, he is completely relaxed and happy. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps, he looks like the boy that I knew from school before the Games. God, so much has changed since then. I've changed since then. I never used to feel so much emotion. I used to be indifferent to many things, but now… now I have seen death at my hand, and have suffered it's consequences, it has made everything real to me. I feel so much grief for all the children who died in the Games, especially Rue. She meant so much to me, she almost felt like a sister. In that arena, she was my Prim. She stopped me becoming a cold-hearted killing machine, as I fear that's what I was becoming. After the tracker-jacker incident, I wanted to kill them all, be ruthless, and then I met Rue. She made me remember who I was, so that I wouldn't become a piece in their games. Rue saved me, and she never even knew it.

Peeta mumbles in his sleep, and turns over so that he is facing me. The action pulls me out of my head, and brings my attention back to him. I can't believe I did that. Tonight, Peeta needs me, and I've let him down. Again. How many more times do I have to do that? I feel so much disgust towards myself, it's unbelievable. I hear the door open, and the avox girl enters, holding a note. It reads,

"_Katniss, get some sleep. I've sent the avox girl to look after Peeta, she will let us know if there's a problem. You have a big day tomorrow, it's important you get your beauty sleep._

_Cinna."_

I frown at the note. There's no way I'm leaving Peeta. I've already let him down so many times, I feel it would be criminal to do it again. I shake my head and press the note back into her hands.

"I'm not leaving him," I tell her. "Please tell Cinna that I don't care about sleep, I have to make sure Peeta's okay." She nods, and swiftly leaves. I wait until I hear the gentle click of the door shutting before I turn back to Peeta. I stroke his hair again and settle back down against the headboard. I didn't realise it until Cinna pointed it out but I really am exhausted. This whole situation has me made me so tired. Without thinking about it, I sink down onto Peeta's pillows. I bury my face into it and sigh happily. I never knew a pillow could smell so good. It smells of freshly baked bread, with a hint of spice and the lingering aroma of alluring aftershave. I snuggle closer to Peeta, and drift off into sleep…

I wake with a start.

"Crap," I mumble. I totally did not mean to do that. I bolt upright, and leap out of the bed. I stumble over to the mirror and internally groan at my appearance. My hair is falling out of its braid, matted and tangled from sleep. My eyes still look tired, and Peeta's shirt is creased and hangs off one shoulder. I roll my eyes at myself. God I really need a shower. I pad into the bathroom and shut the door. I start the shower, peel off my remaining clothes and step into the hot spray. I moan in satisfaction at the feel of the hot pounding water falling down my back. I quickly wash my hair and body then shut off the water. I feel cold as soon as I step onto the matt, but the steam from the room soon warms me up. I grab a warm towel off the rack and dry myself, rubbing it through my hair till it is no longer wet, but damp. Then I'm stuck. I have no clean clothes. I really should have thought about this before I got into the shower. I can't just walk around in a towel, not even when there's no-one around and Peeta's asleep. I sigh and pull my underwear from yesterday on. From some reason I feel really dirty even though the clothes aren't dirty and I slept in the same clothes for weeks in the arena. I spot my jeans curled up in a corner from last night and I put them on along with Peeta's t-shirt. I brush my hair but I don't bother putting it up. Thinking back to earlier how I was wondering how I've changed, this is one of them. At home, I never had my hair down. I find it annoying because it gets in my way when I'm hunting. However, today, I just can't be bothered. I suppose it doesn't really matter but when I look in the mirror I feel different. Then I realise, I am different. I shake my head to clear it of these thoughts and come out of the bathroom. I go round Peeta's room, cleaning away any evidence of last night's fiasco. Any remaining glass shards, any stains on the carpet, I make sure that no-one could ever know what happened. Then I hear a low growl from my stomach. I lay a hand over it and it growls again like an angry animal caged in a zoo like I saw in the Capitol. Well, I didn't actually see one, but I watched a programme on TV about it. It made me sad, watching all those majestic animals caged up like that. That's the Capitol for you I guess. I check on Peeta and see he is still fast asleep. I smile as I slip on my ballet pumps then I step out of the room, making sure that Peeta's door is firmly closed. Then I head to the dining car with only one thing on my mind. Food.

As soon as I sit in my chair a massive plate of steaming food is set in front of me. I lick my lips happily and dig in. Only when I've finished off the entire plate do I look up. Everyone is there, except Peeta, and they are all staring at me with mixed looks of horror and confusion. There is a massive akward silence but of course, Effie recovers first.

"Katniss!" she exclaims. "A young lady such as yourself should not stuff that amount of food into your mouth. You have to remember that you aren't a starving seam child now, you're a victor, and that means you have to act with grace and dignity!"

"I don't have grace and dignity," I mumble, looking down onto my empty plate. I hear a snort from across the table and look up. It's Haymitch, trying his hardest not to laugh and what looks like to be nursing a massive hangover. Good. Serves him right for getting Peeta drunk.

"Too right." He muses. "If you had to sum Sweetheart here up in a sentence, it wouldn't be grace and dignity. And most definitely, it wouldn't be sweetness and light. Sometimes, I wonder to myself why I call her Sweetheart cos even if she had a heart it wouldn't be sweet."

Now I'm angry. Haymitch can be so rude sometimes, he really doesn't think about what he says to people. I stand up and shout at him,

"Haymitch shut up! You don't know anything about me! Just because I've been in the Hunger Games doesn't mean I've turned into this cruel cold-hearted bitch!" Then Haymitch stands up too and begins to yell at me,

"Really Sweetheart? You expect me to believe you've not changed? Murder changes everyone, how dare you go around saying things like that! And as for you saying, you're not a cruel cold-hearted bitch, well…you are so wrong." I'm absolutely furious by that. I'm about to run around the table to strangle him when I feel a calming hand on my shoulder.

"Calm down Katniss," Cinna says. "There is no point in getting angry. He's hungover and irritable, he doesn't know what he's saying." Just hearing his words calms me down, and I sit down again and allow my anger to slowly ebb away. Again, there is another akward silence only this time, no-one really knows what to say. After a few minutes, Cinna asks everyone,

"Where's Peeta? We'll be back in District 12 in a few hours, we need to start prepping him." Before Haymitch opens his massive mouth, I quickly butt in.

"He's asleep. I checked on him before I came down here, and he's fast asleep. I guess he must have just had a long night." Everyone seems to believe my story, and the continue sipping huge cups of what looks like very strong black coffee. Effie has been silent through the whole exchange between Haymitch and I, which is strange but I notice her staring at me a lot. When I look in her direction, she looks away, like she doesn't want to make eye contact with me. Eventually her curiousity gets the best of her.

"Katniss? Are you wearing yesterday's clothes? And that shirt doesn't look like yours."

"No it's not mine. It's Peeta's." The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them. I clap my hands over my mouth before it can do any more damage. For the second time today, everyone is staring at me.

"It's Peeta's?" Cinna asks. I don't answer. I can feel my face flushing a deep red, and I sink down into my seat, wondering how I can get out of the situation and make everyone forget what just happened. I mean at the table, there's me, Effie, Haymitch, Cinna, Portia, my prep team and Peeta's. That's ten people who just heard me say that. Could my life get any more embarrassing? That's when I hear the deep throaty snigger. After a few seconds Haymitch can't control it any longer.

"Well, at least we know why he's asleep now. He's sure had a long night, obviously. Not real, my arse." I'm blushing even more now. Then I think back to what he just said. _Not real, my arse._ Oh my gosh. Haymitch knows about yesterday. That's it. I've had enough now. I'm getting out of here. I stand and rush out of the room. As I leave I hear a babble of voices behind me. I can hear the prep teams telling each other that they can't wait to dish the gossip back in the Capitol, Effie is exclaiming about how it's simply disgusting and that a young lady shouldn't behave that way. But over it all, I hear Haymitch shouting after me.

"That's it, run away from your troubles like you always do. You can't face the truth. You are a coward Katniss Everdeen!" That's the last thing I hear before I'm out the door and running. To where, I don't know. I just want to be somewhere else, anywhere else other than here.

**Author's Note: There you go guys! Hope you liked it! Just want to say, I hope no-one's offended by the language I use, but it's rated T for a reason. Anyway please leave a review, it really helps me when I get them, anyway I can improve, let me know!**

**Love **

**mjenney21 xxx**


	4. Returning

**Author's Note: Hello to all my lovely readers! How've you all been? I've written my fourth chapter, hope you all enjoy it. Sorry it's taken me so long! Can I just say a massive thanks to everyone who has favourite, followed, reviewed or read this story. You guys have really boosted my confidence as a writer, and I will forever be grateful to you all. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the character's from the Hunger Games. They all belong to Suzanne Collins.**

_That's the last thing I hear before I'm out the door and running. To where, I don't know. I just want to be somewhere else, anywhere else other than here._

Chapter 4

I burst into my bedroom, and collapse on the bed. I feel tears pricking my eyes but I wipe them away furiously. I will not cry, and allow Haymitch the pleasure in knowing he's upset me. I realise I should probably check on Peeta again but I can't stand the embarrassment. It was horrible! I tell myself to calm down, hope that they'll forget it soon enough. Thankfully, we will be arriving back in District 12 soon. But that presents its own set of problems. I can't just sit here and figure it out in my head. It won't make sense to me because my thoughts will jumble into one another. I have a tendency to do that. I decide to write my thoughts down, so I head over to my desk and dig out some paper and a pen.

_My mother._

_I know I had a str_a_ined relationship with her before the games. After my experiences, I know that life is precious, and even though she abandoned me and Prim when we needed her most, she is still important to me. She's my mum, and I love her, however forced it may be. I resolve to be more involved in my mother's life, and let her into mine. _

_Our house in the Seam._

_Now I'm a Victor, I'll have to move out to Victor's Village. I don't exactly want to move there, it feels wrong. However, my mother and Prim deserve better, so I'll move for their sakes. _

_Gale._

Wait, what? Why did I write Gale down? I have no problem with Gale. I must be going insane! I get up from the desk and crumple the piece of paper up until it is a tight ball curled into my fist. In a panic, I rush to the window and open it, throwing the paper out of the train. There, it's gone. I don't ever have to think of it ever again.

I sink down onto the bed and begin twiddling my thumbs, thinking of something to do. I look over at the mirror, and I see I'm still wearing my dirty clothes and Peeta's t-shirt. I decide, just to pass the time, I'm going to look for some clothes. I know, me thinking about clothes? But I'm bored and it'll pass the time. I pick up the tablet at the side of my bed and tap a few buttons. Within seconds, calming folk music fills the room. It makes me smile and I think of home. I can't wait! I've missed it so much. Just the thought of the bustling hob, the market square on a warm summer's day, the miners whistling their way to work fills me with so much pride and happiness. Thinking about this makes District 12 seem like a nice place to live, if you forget about the poverty and the fear. After pressing a few more buttons I find a catalogue that shows me what clothes I've got in my closet. I'd go and look through it myself but it's far too big and complicated for me to understand. For once in my life, I'll allow Capitol technology to help me. After a few minutes spent flipping through I decide on a pair of black leggings, a forest-green sweater and some brown leather hunter's boots. It tells me exactly where to find them, and I change in the wardrobe. I brush my hair until it's free of its tangles, and look in the mirror. I'm pretty proud of the results. I actually look nice. At home, I couldn't care less about clothes or fashion or any of that girly stuff. I don't know what it is, I just have this feeling that I need to look nice. I pick up the dirty clothes off the floor and fold them up and place them on my bed. But I can't bring myself to leave Peeta's shirt. I don't know what it is; I just can't bring myself to leave it. So I dig out my small bag that contained small items from the Capitol I wanted to take home with me. As you can imagine, there wasn't much. It was just a silk scarf for my mother, some new hair ribbons for Prim and some chocolate. I pick the shirt up and bring it to my nose. The scent instantly calms me. It's so…words can't describe it. The shirt smells of freshly baked goods, tinged with Peeta's natural scent. It's so relaxing. I guess I'm used to the smell because even in the arena he constantly smelt like this, despite being covered in blood and mud and who knows what else. I smile a little then stuff the t-shirt into the very bottom of the bag.

Just then, I hear a knock at the door. I head to the other side of the room and open it, fixing a fake smile on my face for whoever's behind the door. Cinna stands there, looking a little awkward.

"Hello Katniss. I just came to say that we will be in District 12 in two hours so you need to get ready. The prep team will be here in five minutes, and then I'll come in with your outfit. Portia and I figured that you shouldn't be in very fancy dress, you need to show the people that you are a Victor, but you can still relate to them." He says, and then looks me up and down, a look of disbelief on his face. I can feel myself begin to flush scarlet. Is my outfit really that bad?

"Actually, what you're wearing will be perfect," he says. "I was thinking of dressing you in jumper anyway…" He muses. Wow. I picked an outfit that Cinna liked and would dress me in? His creative mind must be rubbing off on me! Then the prep team rush into my room, nearly trampling Cinna in their haste to get into the room.

"It's been five minutes!" Octavia says excitedly.

"You promised we would only have to wait five minutes Cinna!" Flavius adds. Venia is standing among them, smiling but rolling her eyes a little at her team mate's excitement.

"Calm down guys." She tells them. "Katniss was not going to disappear in the few minutes we had to wait!" Then she tugs my arm towards the bathroom.

"Come on honey, we have one hour to prepare you and it's not nearly long enough!" I sigh inwardly. A whole hour I'm going to have to sit perfectly still and listen to their chatter. I look over at Cinna, who still has a slight smile on his face. He mouths 'good luck' at me. I smile in return before I'm in the bathroom. I'm sat down at the chair by the dresser, while Octavia rummages through cupboards searching for certain products. I hear her mumbling to herself that they've run out of Capitol Factor Foundation, and that as soon as she gets back she must order some more. Flavius is laying out what looks like torture instruments, but I know they're to be used in my hair. Venia is studying my nails, and searching through her case for the perfect shade of nail varnish that will go with my jumper. Then all of a sudden, it's like a lightbulb goes off in their head, and they converge on me and start their work.

What feels like half an hour later, but is probably only 10 minutes, I don't even recognise my face. Apparently it's necessary to make my face disappear, but then repaint it to look like a more beautiful me. I roll my eyes. That's so typical of the Capitol. Still, I don't complain. I know my prep team and Cinna do make me appeal to the crowd. They make me beautiful. They make me out to be this strong inspiration to everyone in Panem. I'm not really. I'm just an average seventeen year old girl who has just been thrown into this mess and doesn't know how to escape. The prep team chatter away about their lives in the Capitol, about the latest fashion trends and some celebrity there called Catrina Cartier. She's supposedly the most famous woman in Panem. Well, I've never heard of her. I bet she's just one of the fake Capitol women, probably surgically altered to almost unrecognisable. They discuss her latest film; it's expected to be the biggest film of this year. It comes out in a few months I think when Peeta and I will be on the Victory tour. Oh god. That thought scares me. I shake it away. I shouldn't be thinking like that. I should be focused on my victory, on home, on the thoughts of my little sister hugging me tight.

"Katniss…" Octavia asks, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "This morning, when you were wearing Peeta's shirt, did you stay with him last night?" Oh gosh. I can't tell the truth and I daren't lie. But then I remember about Haymitch's words about making people believe our story. Chances are they'll be interviewed and they'll be able to dish the gossip. Then people will have to believe our story. They'll think it's more real because we're away from the cameras. This moment could be the make or break of everything.

"Katniss?" Octavia prompts. I blink and realise I've been lost in thought. Venia frowns.

"Leave the girl alone Octavia. I guess there are just too many good memories." She smiles. I turn to Octavia and grab her wrist.

"No, I'm happy to answer. You were right Venia; there are too many good memories. I know I can trust you guys though. You are very important and special friends to me," I lie. Flavius gives a little squeak at the thought of being my friend. I know they're all thinking I slept with Peeta, and I need to set them on the right track without telling too much of the truth.

"We didn't want to be alone. We need each other, I always feel better when he's around. But we didn't do any more than sleep, I promise. It was just so nice, being wrapped up in his arms." Their smiles grow so wide, I think their faces will split any minute.

"Aww that's so cute!" Octavia exclaims. "No wonder people love you, it's impossible not to!" Then she gets serious. "Thank you for telling me that Katniss, I feel very grateful and honoured to be your friend." There's real sincerity in her voice as she squeezes my hand gratefully. I gulp a little. She trusted me and I lied to her. To all of them. But it's important; a voice in my head reminds me. It's necessary. Eventually, the prep team step away from me and lead me into the bedroom.

"We're finished!" They chime. I look at myself in the mirror. I look like how I was in the chariot ride. Recognisable, but more beautiful. My lips are painted a pale pink; a light blush litters my cheeks. As usual, my mockingjay pin is pinned to my scarf. They've enhanced my looks to compliment my outfit; it could not be more perfect. They smile and leave as Cinna enters.

"Beautiful," he smiles. "Now go out there and show them what you are made of Girl on Fire." I'm just about to leave when I spot the bag lying on my bed. I pick it up and give it to Cinna. I know I can trust him.

"Can you please make sure this is sent to my house in Victor's Village? It has some important gifts in there." Cinna nods.

"See you later," I hear him say as I leave the room. I head towards the front train compartment. A few people are there. As I enter the compartment, Effie sends a huge smile my way. She explains the schedule for the day, as I nod but don't take any of it in. I'm staring outside the window as we are in woodland. The woods that surround District 12. I know in this high speed train, we will be there in about ten minutes, maybe less. I look around the room. Haymitch is there, looking a hell of a lot more sober than he did a few hours ago. He has a clean shaven appearance, but I know that won't last. At the first opportunity he will get wasted. I head over to the door and stand beside it looking out of the window for the first sight of home. I hear a noise beside me and notice Peeta is now stood next to me. From the first glance at him, you would never have imagined that he was in such a state last night.

"Hello Katniss," he whispers, an embarrassed look on his face.

"Hello Peeta." I replied. He keeps opening and shutting his mouth, like he wants to say something, but he is struggling to get the words out.

"Thank you…" He mumbles.

"For what?" I ask. I'm a bit confused as to what he's referring to.

"For looking after me. I'm so ashamed of myself Katniss! It was stupid and irresponsible and I'm sorry you had to see me like that. I promise it won't happen again." Now I understand. But he has nothing to be sorry for and I tell him so.

"It was my fault you did that to yourself. Do not ever blame yourself." I tell him. I will not budge on this point. I accepted the fact last night, he has to to.

"Katniss, I'm not sure if this happened or not, but did you stay with me last night? I kind of remember something like you stroked my hair? And you…kissed my forehead?" I'm blushing now. He remembers all that? Maybe he wasn't as drunk as I assumed he was. But I know I have to tell him the truth.

"I did," I tell him honestly. "You've helped me more times than I can remember; I felt the debt needed to be repaid." He looks hurt and angry now. That hurts, I wanted to make it better but I've just made it worse. Why do I always do that?

"You did all this because you didn't want to owe me? That's wrong Katniss, on so many levels. I thought you did this because you care about my safety, not because you feel you owe me something. After all we've been through, you don't have the slightest bit of respect for me? I can't cope with this. I'll play my part for the cameras Katniss, but other than that I'm so done. You need to think about your actions, and how they hurt other people. Please just leave me alone." He says harshly. I stagger back a little at his words. That comment cut me to the core. I tried to protect him and… I feel terrible. What have I done? Then I hear Effie's voice shouting over everyone,

"30 seconds till we're in District 12! Places everyone!" Peeta shuffles over to me and places his arm around my waist and fixes a smile on his face. I do the same. Then I feel the train stop and the doors slowly slide open.

**Author's Note: And there's the fourth chapter, hope you enjoyed it! Please remember to review, it really helps me to improve on my writing! I know Peeta seems a bit harsh right now, but I promise it won't last. I looked today and I can hardly believe this story has over 850 views! Wow, I literally can't believe it, thank you so so so much! See y'all back in District 12!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	5. Close, Yet Still So Far

**Author's Note: Hello! I'm so amazed at the reaction from this story over a thousand views! Wow, words just can't describe how happy it makes me and considering this is my first fanfiction, I'll definitely write another one when I've finished this story. That won't be for a while yet, I know there are loads more chapters to write until I'll get to a point where the story needs to be wrapped up. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, storyline or anything else. They all belong to Suzanne Collins.**

_Then I feel the train stop and the door slowly slides open._

Chapter 5

I'm engulfed with cheers and flashes. It's very overwhelming. Peeta and I haven't even done anything yet, we're still stood in the train doorway but people have this reaction from just seeing us. I feel very awkward and exposed. Why are people reacting this way? I only won the Hunger Games! It's nothing to be proud of, but these people are cheering as if I've run into a burning building and saved twenty children. It's so strange. I look up at Peeta; he's waving and smiling to the crowd. He notices me staring at him and he looks back at me. Looking into his eyes feels like the worst thing in the world. His eyes show a hint of love that is masked by hurt and pain. All I want to do is run away to my home and curl up in a ball. Haymitch was right, I think to myself. I am a coward. Determined to prove him wrong, I stand up on my tiptoes and gently press my lips to Peeta's. He's surprised, and doesn't want to react but he also knows he needs to play his part. He gives in and returns the kiss with passion and fire. Now I'm surprised. I had never anticipated this. My arms wrap around his neck and his fall to my lower back, his fingertips lightly tracing the edge of my sweater. I lose myself and everyone around me and just focus on the feeling of his lips against mine. Around me I can hear the crowd going wild and I know all the photographers will be going insane at having such a perfect camera opportunity. I don't want to stop the kiss. It feels so good, filling me with warmth and happiness. Eventually, Peeta breaks away, his fingertips trailing my face before his arms leave my body and he reaches for my hands instead and he pulls me off the train. I follow him sadly. I miss his warmth already. I look around at the crowd and see them winking and grinning at each other. My face flushes and I grab Peeta's hand tightly but he doesn't grip back, it's like he's trying to detach himself from me as soon as possible. Effie and Haymitch get out of the train and stand away from Peeta and I.

"You have ten minutes for questions." Effie shouts. The reporters then put down their cameras and quickly dig out pens and paper. They all shout questions at once.

"How does it feel to be a Victor?" One shouts.

"You're icons up and down the country, how are you going to manage your newfound fame?" Another yells.

"Are we going to see any big changes in your life?" More chime in. I start to panic. How am I going to answer these questions? Luckily, Peeta steps in and saves the day.

"We're so pleased to be back in District 12, our home. We've no immediate plans as of yet, but if there's anything major, we'll let you know." He winks at the reporters and about all the women in the crowd swoon, which makes me frown a little. "I think at the moment, we're just going to enjoy our time together and celebrate our victory." He brings me closer to him and I find the courage to speak. "We know we will be very happy together," I say. "I'll be pleased to have Peeta all to myself!" I giggle. Laughter ripples through the crowd, followed with winks and jokes. I smile even wider, pleased that I said the right thing. Effie then steps forward and places her hands on our shoulders.

"I'm sorry gentlemen, but we have a schedule to attend to. You'll have another opportunity to speak to our Victors at a later date, for now you'll have to step aside. If you'll excuse us." Haymitch and Effie begin to push their way the crowd.

"Come on Sweetheart," Haymitch says. "You'll see your sister in a minute, just as soon as we get you out of these crowds." Peeta and I make our way through the tiny gap that Effie and Haymitch managed to create. Every time I blink, I see the cameras flash in my eyes. Is it really going to be like that forever? Eventually we break through the crowd.

Near to the entrance of the station, stands our families. As soon as Prim sees me she comes running towards me, her braids flying out behind her.

"Katniss!" She squeals as she attaches herself to my waist and won't let go. I don't ever want her to. Prim is the only person in the world that I'm certain that I love.

"Hello little duck," I say softly, overcome with emotion. My hands come down to stroke her hair, and I have to fight the tears away. My mother stands back, taking in the scene of her two daughters, a look of pride in her eyes. I hold out a hand for her to join the hug. For a second, she looks taken aback, but then she smiles and runs forward too. We sink to the floor, hugging each other, with Prim in the middle, tears running down our faces.

"My girls," My mum whispers, kissing my forehead. "My beautiful girls." After what seems like forever we all break apart, and stand up. Prim smoothes out her blue cotton dress and I stroke her hair again. I look over at Peeta, who just stood and watched the whole scene, and then he turns to his family. It's very awkward watching them. You can see they are trying to act normal, but it clearly isn't working. Even though my father died when I was eleven, and my mum seemed to disappear into thin air, we're still a family. Between us we have a bond that can never be broken. In Peeta's family, it's almost like that bond was never made. Peeta's older brothers tease him and slap him on the back but they are acting like his best friends, they don't show a tiny hint of emotion for their brother. Peeta's father shakes his hand and pulls him into a light hug. You can see the relief, the happiness in his eyes. You can tell he's proud of him. Peeta's mother surprises me most though. She was standing away, but she steps forward with tears in her eyes and she tightly hugs him. I'm amazed; maybe nearly losing her youngest son to the Hunger Games has made her change her outlook on life. Peeta looks surprised but he returns the hug and nestles his head into her shoulder. I know all he's wanted his life was his mother's acceptance, and he must think he's finally earned it after sixteen years. She strokes his hair, and his whole body shakes. She leans in close to his ear and whispers something. He pulls back shocked, and she slaps his face. My hand comes up to my mouth and I stifle a gasp. Everyone is so shocked that they don't do anything. She does it again and again and he just stands there and takes the pain. I can't cope with it and run forward as she is about to hit him and take the slap myself. My cheeks sting and all I can hear is the sound of her hand hitting my face. She stares at me and her eyes flash in rage.

"How dare you get in the way?" She screams. "He deserves it all for kissing you, a Seam slut! He's brought shame upon our family, he is a complete failure! No wonder he's going after Seam sluts, he isn't even a whole man anymore. He deserves nothing but trash, that's all you are!" I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't ever talk about Katniss like that!" Peeta thunders. "She's all the things you never were! You may think it's acceptable to beat me, but it's not acceptable to hit Katniss. She didn't deserve it, if you think I do then that's fine. I don't want you near Katniss ever again." The witch looks stunned, almost like she has been slapped. Good. She deserves it. Peeta then runs off, I see the glimpse of tears on his face. I want to run after him, but I'm not sure if I should. My mother comes up to me and gently touches my shoulder.

"Go after him Katniss; it's the right thing to do. I'll take Prim to Victors Village. We've been moving our things there all morning so we're ready to move in. I'll get dinner ready. Be back for 6:30 okay?" I nod and hug my mum, then run off in the direction and Peeta went.

It doesn't take long to find him. He headed towards the edge of the Seam, near to the meadow. I search everywhere but I can't find him. Then I realise, maybe he doesn't want to be found. I switch in to hunter mode, and manage to track him down. He's curled up in a street corner, behind the coal mines and slag heap, away from everyone.

"Peeta," I sigh in relief when I see him. Then I hear the sobs and my heart breaks. He looks like a young boy again. I run to him and put my arms around him. He fights against me but I refuse to let him go. Eventually he gives in and his head falls against my chest as he sobs. The weight of him pushes me back so that I'm sitting against the wall with him sobbing. We sit there for about half an hour before he pulls back. I dig a tissue out of my pocket and gently dry his tears.

"Thanks," He whispers.

"Don't believe anything she says," I tell him. "They're all lies." I can't believe she even had the nerve to try anything like that. That woman has a serious issue.

"What she said about you was lies," He replied. "What she said about me was completely true."

"No, Peeta, you can't believe her! You are amazing and kind; don't let her words get to you!"

"She was right," He mutters. "I'm not a real man anymore. I am a failure and brought shame upon my family!" He punches the wall beside me and the old bricks crumble to the floor until he gives up crying again. I feel horrible. What can I do? I try talking to him but he won't listen to me. I grab his face and make him look at me.

"Peeta stop," I tell him. "Listen to me! You are a real man. You always have been and you always will be. Just because you lost your leg doesn't mean that you aren't a man anymore. You are definitely not a failure. You won the Hunger Games for fuck's sake! You defied the odds and came home a Victor. Did you hear the cheering outside the train? That was for you. If people thought you were a failure would they have cheered like that? I don't think so. And anyone who says you've brought shame on your family is a goddamn liar. Everyone loves you Peeta. No-one hates you. It's impossible not to." He looks up at me.

"Stop lying to me Katniss. My mother hates me. She's beaten me for years. Would she do that if she loved me? And you hate me. If you cared about me at all you wouldn't have said what you said." I'm shocked into silence.

"I don't hate you," I mumble. "I've never hated you." He looks up at me, almost as if to check that I'm telling the truth. Whatever he sees in his eyes must relay that because the next thing I know, his lips are on mine. The kiss is salty from his tears, and at some point tears fall from my eyes and our tears mingle together, making our lips taste of salt. The kiss is not like the one earlier, which was full of passion and fire, this relays softness and heartache. It sparks something in me, not a fire, but a warm glow that seems to radiate all over my body and warms me from the tips of my toes to my hair. I don't know what the feeling is, but I do know I want to feel it forever. I know this is a feeling I'll store away and think about it later to try and figure out what it means. The kiss seems to last a long time but then Peeta pulls away. He looks ashamed.

"I shouldn't have done that," He says. "I'm sorry. I forgot I'm not in the arena where I can kiss you wherever I like. Here it's different. You have Gale. You two can marry and have children and grow old together. And I'm happy for you. But I had to kiss you for real just once. One last kiss to remember you by. Goodbye Katniss." He stands up and walks away. The sky fills rapidly with grey clouds and rain starts pouring down while I sit on the grass staring in the direction he walked away.

**Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know I've updated a lot earlier than normal, but I was feeling inspired. Please leave a review, I love getting them! What do you think will happen next? I want you all to be intrigued for the next chapter. See ya!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx **


	6. Let Me In

**Author's Note: Hello! I know I updated really quickly last time, but I'm not going to be updating every week. I'll update when I feel inspired, I feel there's no point in writing because I force myself to update. I know if I write when I'm inspired then my chapters will be a lot better. Anyway, enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Hunger Games, I wish I did though! Everything from the Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

_The sky fills rapidly with grey clouds and rain starts pouring down while I sit on the grass staring in the direction he walked away._

Chapter 6

I felt as if I had been turned to stone. I couldn't move. I could still feel his kiss on my lips. The warm glow from the kiss slowly faded away until I could only feel the rain, the icy sleets pouring down my neck. Slowly, almost as if I was in a dream, I stood up and walked in the direction of Victor's Village. To be honest I don't know how I got home. I just wandered the streets but I never saw any citizens of the District. Maybe it was because of the rain, maybe it's because my mind was just too preoccupied. Eventually, I stumbled through the gates of Victor's Village. It was shaped in a perfect circle with a circle of grass in the middle. The grass was like a magnificent garden filled with all kinds of exotic flowers and plants that I had never seen before. Nine of the houses were dark and unoccupied, they exuberated a sense of power and fear. They scared me. I had never seen such big houses in my life. I'd thought that the mayor's house was large, but these… they were just enormous. They were three stories tall, with stone that was obviously meant to be white but the stone had faded to a light grey from the coal dust. The thought made me smile. Even though I was here by the Capitol's choice, I still had a touch of home surrounding me. I could tell just through walking through here that I was going to hate it. I felt out of the way, away from society. There was only one way in and one way out. There was a road, leading from the town square to the Village. It was intimidating to walk up that long empty road. No wonder no-one came to Victor's Village. I shuddered to myself and focused on the three houses that had some sign of life from them. I could tell straight away which one was Haymitch's. Even though someone had tried, it still had an unkempt untidy appearance. Next to Haymitch's was Peeta's. I could tell because the smell of baking bread seeped through the windows. Even though I was cold, wet and hungry, the smell gave me hope. I trudged onto the next house which I'm assuming was mine. A golden glow radiated from the windows and I smiled at the thought of a hot meal. I walked up the steps, and then opened the door. A wave of heat instantly washed over me. Wow. The thought had never occurred to me that now I would never be cold or be striving to feed my family. I would always have enough. I would never want for anything ever again. My mother must have heard me because she comes running into the hall. She takes in my appearance, speechless. I'd almost forgot it was raining. I must look like a drowned rat that's been dragged through a hedge backwards.

"Katniss!" She exclaims. "What happened to you? It's 9 o'clock!" Is it? Have I really been out for that long? I glance over at a clock conveniently placed on the wall. Oh my god, it is.

"I'm sorry mum," I tell her. Here comes the lie. "Peeta and I had a lot to talk about." She nods, she seems to believe it.

"Poor lad," she mutters. "How horrible for him. Katniss, you weren't out in the rain all that time were you?" Too exhausted to lie any more I nod and pull off my leather boots. She shakes her head and clicks her tongue, but she doesn't scold me. I don't think she sees the point. She ushers me upstairs and into the bathroom.

"Take a shower, and give your wet clothes to me. When you get out, there'll be some supper in your room for you. Go on then!" She says. "Take off your wet clothes!" I just stand there sheepishly. I'm not going to undress for my mother! I haven't done that since I was about nine! I cross my arms across my soggy jumper and shake my head, my hair sending water droplets all over the room. My mother sighs.

"For goodness sake," my mother sighs and steps out of the room. I start the shower running then peel off my wet clothes. I have to say, I feel a lot better about not having a soggy woollen jumper on me. Keeping myself covered, I open the door a crack and shove my clothes through it.

"Thank you," she says, and I hear her go downstairs, presumably to hang my clothes up so they can dry. I sigh to myself. I know I promised myself to try and get along better with my mother, but I never realised just hard that may be. I hadn't thought that maybe the Games would make her tougher, like they did me. I try to ignore the thought. I've been back a few hours, how can I judge her? And she's my _mother._ It shouldn't be like this. She should be soft and gentle, helping me down the treacherous path that is life. Instead she was weak, and I had to walk along that lonely road with no light, no guidance. However, now it's seems she's there to help me but I no longer require her help. I step in the shower, and let my thoughts wash away with the water. By the time I get out of the shower, I feel refreshed but sleepy. I pull a brand new fluffy white towel over my body. I'd never used a towel before the Capitol. I'd just used an old rag and I notice how different my lifestyles are now. Wrapping the towel tightly round my body, after making sure everything is covered I step out into the hall. I look around; my soaking hair slapping cold water against my skin gives me goose bumps and makes me shiver. Luckily no-one seems to be in the hallway. I wonder where my room is. Prim comes out of a door and sees me standing awkwardly in the hall.

"Hi Katniss!" She smiles at me, reaching forward with her arms outstretched but then suddenly notices my soaking appearance. "Are you looking for your room?" She asks. "Don't worry, I'll show you," I follow her round the corner, as she's pointing out rooms. She turns another corner and there's a door peeking out. She opens it, and I expect it to be a tiny room but it opens up into one of the biggest rooms I've ever seen.

I instantly like the room. It's large, but has sloping ceilings. In the middle of the room, there's a huge teal rug, and there's a black sofa on top of it. There's a tv screen facing the sofa, with a large bookshelf next to it, filled with books. My closets are hidden in the walls and there's a large bay window that overlooks the woods. I'd had no idea that the woods would surround Victor's Village but when you think about it of course it would, as Victor's Village is away from the town and merchant area. The window has a large seat around it with lots of cushions laid on the seat. It looks like it would be very comfy; I can't wait to try it out. Then I look for a bed but I can't see one. Wait, I thought this was supposed to be a bedroom? Prim sees me looking around and laughs.

"Your beds over here Katniss," She smiles. I follow her and see a hidden hole in the wall that I've never seen before. It's covered with a thick teal curtain and when you part it, there's a huge king size bed with white and black bedding. It has an oak chest of drawers beside it covered with a lamp that sends a gentle glow around the room. The lamp is unlike anything I've ever seen before, it has bubbles that are inside and they seem to float up and down the liquid. It's memorising. I finally turn back to Prim a smile on my face.

"I love it," I whisper. "Thank you little duck. It's perfect." Prim's smile becomes so wide she once again looks like a young girl whose wish has just come true.

"I knew you'd like it," she squeals. "I just knew!" She runs forward and hugs me tight, even though I'm still in my towel. I hug her back, but clutch one hand over the top of my towel just in case. I hear a slight knock on the door, and my mother enters holding a pile of freshly laundered clothes.

"Hello girls," She smiles warmly, placing the clothes on my bed. "Here you go Katniss. Come on Primrose, leave your sister alone to change and settle in." She gently takes my sister by the shoulders and steers her out of the room. I let the towel fall from my body and lift the pile of clothes and bring them to my nose. They smell of fresh air, the woods and wildflowers. The smell calms me. I dress quickly, revelling in the feel of warm clothes heating my chilled body. I walk over to the bay window and sit myself down on the cushions, looking at my surroundings. It's dark of course, but I can make out some of the houses and see the vague outline of the woods behind them. I draw my attention to a window in front of me. The light from the room is on but the curtains are drawn shut. I vaguely wonder whose house it is. I tilt my head up, staring up in to the night sky. The sky seems like a giant black velvet blanket, studded with diamonds. It's beautiful. I could look at it all night. I focus my attention, on the brightest, biggest star. I can vaguely remember my father holding me tight, telling me about the star.

"_It's called the Pole star my little kitkat." _He used to say. _"It's the most magical star in the sky. You can see it anywhere in the world. If you miss someone, find the Pole star, chances are that person will be looking at the star too. On your birthday if you wish on it, it'll always come true." _I close my eyes, remembering this powerful memory that has struck a chord with me and will stay with me forever. Every year on my birthday, I used to wish on the star. The year after his death, I wished on it. I wished for my father to come back. Of course it never happened. That's when I stopped believing in wishes and my whole world seemed to crumble down into a bottomless pit of despair. I open my eyes and look at the window again. Peeta's standing there, his hand on the glass looking up at the sky. I wonder if he's looking at the Pole star, the way I was a minute ago. He looks down and our eyes meet. I try to smile at him, but he shakes his head and pushes away from the window, pushing the curtains out of his way and drawing them tightly shut. I let out a little sob.

"Katniss?" I hear a gentle voice call. I come out of the curtains and see my mother at the doorway, a steaming mug of something clasped in her pale slim fingers. "Can I come in?" She asks.

"Of course," I reply, sitting down on my bed, pushing my damp hair out of my eyes. She sets the mug down on the table beside my bed and sits next to me, gently braiding it. We sit in silence.

"What's the matter Katniss?" She asks, her fingers deftly weaving in and out of my hair.

"Nothing," I sigh. She looks hurt for a second, and then determination sets in her features. She stands up and tilts my chin up so I have to look at her.

"Katniss," She begins. "I made a promise to myself when you went to the Games; that I would look after Prim and be there for her, and if you came back I would be a better mother to you. When I left my family to be with your father," her eyes fill with tears at the mention of my father. I think she will retreat into herself but she shakes herself and stands firm. "My family disowned me. So I know how it feels to be lonely, without a guiding hand to help you. So I want to be there for you. But you have got to stop doing this. I want to help you, and I know you want to do it yourself, but you have to let me in. To let me try. It hurts me to know that you let Primrose in so easily, yet every time I try you just shut me out. Look I know I haven't been the best mother to you two. I don't deserve you, I know. But please, let me try, let me help. I want to be there for you. Will you let me do that?" Tears fill my eyes and I hug my mother tightly.

"Yes." I whisper. She smiles; wiping a few tears away, and exits the room, leaving me alone.

**Author's Note: And there's my sixth chapter. I know this one isn't as exciting or action packed as others but I felt it was important to show how Katniss is trying to adapt back to life in District 12. I also wanted to explore how her relationships with others may have changed, so I'm sorry if you were expecting something more action packed. I promise next time, I'll try and add more things happening, maybe involve Haymitch or Gale or Peeta? I'll have a think. Please leave a review they always help me and I love receiving them. See y'all around!**

**Love **

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	7. Nightmares

**Author's Note: Hello, can't believe this story has over 2500 views! I never expected to get that many so thank you. Also I received a review from someone who said that I'm the next Suzanne Collins for them, wow that's such an honour since she is one of my favourite authors. I don't know who wrote this review but whoever did, this chapter is for you! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Hunger Games.**

_She smiles; wiping a few tears away, and exits the room, leaving me alone. _

Chapter 7

After my mother has left the room, I wander around my bedroom for something to do. I don't want to sleep just yet. I feel tired but I know I won't be able to fall asleep for ages yet. I go over to my bedside table and pick up the mug my mother left for me. I don't know what it is but it's a pale red colour and smells of summer fruits. I sit down at the window seat, clasping my drink in my hands and watch the night go by. I can't remember ever sitting at home and watching the sky after my father died. I think it's because the memories are too strong, too painful for me to handle. I know I don't need to be strong for my family anymore but I feel like I still have to. My mother may have changed for the better during the games, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she won't ever spiral back into depression. I think that's why even when she was better I wouldn't let her take charge because I couldn't rely on her and I certainly couldn't trust her. I sigh, finishing the last of my drink. I feel really tired now. Today has just worn me out. I think back over the day. Running away from everyone at breakfast, getting prepped, Peeta telling me he can't deal with it anymore, the paparazzi, hugging Prim and my mother, the witch hitting Peeta, me running after him and comforting him, the gentle kiss in the rain. I smile at the thought of the kiss. I revel in the memory of his lips moving against mine, that strange sensation that came over my body, the tug of my heartstrings when he left. I open my eyes and find myself standing in front of a mirror, a sleepy dreamy expression on my face. I snap out of it quickly. I thought I agreed to lock away any feelings? What happened to that promise? Life, I think. It can be so unfair. I try to clear my head. I need to think about other things, not simpering around like some stupid, obnoxious, head-over-heels-in-love teenage girl. I dump the cup on my bedside table and get into bed. I lay down, resting my head on a comfortable feather-filled pillow. I close my eyes, and slowly wait for sleep.

_I'm sitting in a tree. I smile because I think I'm sitting in the woods. However, when I look around to take in my surroundings, I realise I'm in my sleeping bag, my leg hanging out of one side. I touch it and nearly scream out loud in pain. My burn has gotten worse, it's bright red and my skin feels like it's on fire. Gritting my teeth, I will myself not to cry out. I realise I need to get out of the tree and go back to the lake I was in earlier. I'm just about undo my belt when I realise the Career Tributes will still be under the tree, waiting to kill me. Carefully, I turn my body a little and search the area surrounding my tree. Mysteriously, they all seem to have disappeared. I want to go, but I can't help feeling like this is a trick. My survival instinct is torn between going back to the lake to nurse myself back to health and the career tributes trying to trick me down from the tree. Either way, I will die. If I don't get something for my leg, it most certainly will get infected. If I stay in the tree, I will starve to death, or the Career tributes will eventually get fed up of waiting and kill me. But if I get down from the tree and find out it's a trap, I'll be killed. However, if I come down, and it's not a trick, I could get away from the corner I appear to have backed myself into. I sigh and realise it's my only option that will not end in my death. I have no choice. Quickly, I pack my supplies, and check my surrounding area five times until I spot the gleam of spears and swords heading away from my tree and back to the Cornucopia. I guess they must have finally run out of supplies or have got bored of waiting for me and have gone to search for other tributes to fall victims to their gleaming swords tainted with blood…Steeling up the courage, I slowly begin crawling down the tree, ready to dash back at a moment's notice. But before I realise it, my boots are placed on hard mud, trampled into the ground by lots of heavy footprints. I stand facing the tree trunk for a minute listening for any signs that the Career's may have appeared. When I'm satisfied that I've managed to outrun them, I smile and run a hand through my matted hair. I turn round, my backpack on my shoulder; ready to run when I'm stopped in my tracks. The Careers are back, and they've circled me so it's impossible to escape, all their weapons pointed straight at me. They all have menacing grins on their faces. Glimmer stands to my left, pointing my bow and arrows at me. Marvel stands next to her, brandishing a sharp-looking spear. Clove and Cato are to my right, Clove holding out her jacket and exposing a menacing selection of knives, Cato wielding a horrible looking sword. Their eyes flash with anticipation of a kill. Oh God, I think to myself. I can't escape, I can't move. I'm going to die. I shut my eyes, waiting for death._

"_Well, well, well, what have we here?" A voice says. My eyes snap open. I know that voice! Peeta pushes through the crowd of Career's, a sword in his hand._

"_Peeta, Please." I beg. "You know me. I'm from your District. You helped me…with the bread!" I say desperately. His eyes flash with hate, and the sword comes up to point at my chest. _

"_Help you?" He says, disgusted. "I gave you that bread not to help you; I threw it in the wrong direction. I was so angry with myself, I hoped you would die!" Tears spring to my eyes. _

"_But…" I whisper. "I thought you loved me!" Peeta scoffs, shaking his head in disbelief. Then he begins to laugh and the other Career's join in. _

"_You honestly thought that I, a merchant would love someone like you? Someone who is ugly, selfish and cruel? My mother was right. You are a bitch. A Seam slut." He smiles as he says the words. I flinch. The words sting and tears fall from my face. For a second Peeta looks like the boy I once knew, and he reaches forward and wipes my tears away. I smile, thinking I've finally gotten away from this nightmare, and lean my face into his hands. His hand disappears and it slaps my face hard. _

"_Whore." He whispers into my ear. He leans away from my face, staring deep into my eyes._

"_Slut. Seam slut." He says louder. The Career's laugh again, taking a tiny step forward. _

"_Kill her." Peeta says to the others, seeming almost bored. He walks away from the group, and leans against a nearby tree to watch my death._

"_Peeta!" I plead, begging him to have mercy on me. He doesn't listen, laughing at my pleas. The Careers step closer, their weapons just beginning to touch me. They chant the horrible words 'Seam slut'. I'm screaming and begging, they are laughing and smiling. As the sword pierces my chest, I close my eyes and let out a blood-curdling scream…_

"Katniss!" My mother shouts. I'm jolted back to reality. I'm sat up in the bed, covered in sweat and my mother is shaking me violently. I burst into tears, and my mother pulls me in close, hugging me like she did when I was a young child.

"Oh Sweetheart," She whispers, rocking me back and forth. My tears don't let up and I look down at my hands to find I'm shaking.

"It was just a dream Katniss, just a dream. You're safe now." She mumbles over and over again. It doesn't help. I force myself to calm down. Crying like this does not help anyone. I pull away from my mother, push my wild hair away from my face and drag a hand over my eyes.

"I'm okay." I say quietly. "I'm alright now." But I'm not. I'm still shaking, my mind still playing the horrible images. All I can hear is the chants of 'Seam slut'. They are right. This makes me want to cry again, but I force myself not to.

"Katniss, do you want a cup of tea?" My mother asks. I nod slowly. Anything to get that nightmare out of my head. My mother stands up and leaves the room and I follow her quickly. I cannot stay in this room. This room that taunts my winning everywhere I look. I hate it. My mother heads through corridors and down stairs, flicking lights on as she goes. For once, I'm glad of this. At my house in the seam we'd have to light candles, and when you're hand is shaking, that's not always the best thing to do, as many families found out. We arrive in the kitchen and I slump down at the kitchen table, exhausted. My mother potters about, reaching up for cups and plopping a teabag in each of them. I glance at the clock on the wall. It reads 6 am. I stare at the clock, watching the hands slowly make its way around. I'm dragged out of my trance by my mother setting down a cup in front of me.

"Just the way you like it," She says quietly. "But with extra sugar for the shock." I nod and drink the tea quickly. It burns my tongue, and it's far too sweet, but it's hot and a gentle relief from my nightmare land of tonight.

"Thank you," I acknowledge. My mother smiles.

"It's alright Katniss. Any time." Shyly, I glance up, and our eyes meet across the table. My mother reaches over, and gently clasps my hand. This comfort from her makes me want to cry again. Then the moment is spoiled by a knock on the back door. My mother stands up and heads over to the door. I crane my neck, but I can't see who it is. Who would be knocking at our door at 6 am? I can see my mother's faintly startled expression, but she nods and lets the person in. My heart speeds up a little. Peeta stands in the kitchen, a basket of fresh bread in his arms, his cheeks flushed with the cold air. He walks over and places a basket on the table.

"There you go Mrs Everdeen. I hope these are to your liking." His voice is warm and polite, nothing like the Peeta in my dream. He notices me sitting at the table and smiles a little. He raises an eyebrow at my wild, dragged-through-a-hedge-backwards appearance but says nothing. He's seen worse after all.

"Good morning Katniss." He says. I drag my eyes away from him and focus on my tea.

"Morning." I mutter coldly. I can see out of my eye line that he flinches a little and my mother frowns at me. No doubt confused and disgusted by my lack of manners. He shrugs a little, and turns to talk to my mother again.

"Mrs Everdeen, do you have anything to help me sleep? I've been having…bad dreams." He murmurs, a little embarrassed. My head snaps up. He has nightmares too?

"You have nightmares?" I ask. He nods; his eyes almost seem to ask me if I do too. I nod in answer to his question. My mother watches our exchange, a frown on her face.

"You both are suffering from bad dreams?" She asks. In turn we both describe our dreams, but I can tell Peeta is editing his tale, like I am mine. I know that I cannot tell my family the true extent of my dreams, it would frighten them. My mother listens patiently and when we have finished she talks to herself.

"The dreams surround the events from the games. I wonder if that's due to the traumatic experience that the brain takes the fear from the memories and stores them in the subconscious only to be relayed during sleep and changed into images at the front of the brain…?" I switch off at this point. I've no idea what she is talking about. Perhaps she's read it in a book she's found around the house somewhere. My mother is always searching for cures to help the people. It's one thing that makes me proud about my mother. She is an excellent healer. Everyone would rather go see her than the apothecary healers in the merchant square. I raise an eyebrow a Peeta, silently communicating him. His lips lift in a smile in return. It's strange how we seem to be able to have conversations like this. I look around the room, and realise that my mother has disappeared. Maybe she's gone to wake Prim. Today is Sunday, so she'll be off school. I can hardly believe that now I have to get used to the idea of time. In the Capitol and the games, you don't tend to take notice of time. You only see it as another day.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Peeta asks quietly. I turn my head and see him smiling at me.

"Oh you know, just find it a bit strange, adjusting." My words come out strange, but he seems to grasp my meaning.

"Yeah, I know. I've got that big house all by myself; it's kind of weird not being around my family." His smile wavers a little before it fixes in place.

"Did your family not want to move in with you?" I ask gently, not wanting to hurt him again.

"Well my Dad did, but my brothers can't be bothered with the walk to town and my mother…well, you can imagine what her reaction was." I nod. I can't believe his family would refuse to live with him. Peeta's been through hell and back, and all they care about is their stupid bakery? Peeta carries on talking.

"I don't know what it is with my mother. She hates me. She sees me as a useless thing. She's beaten me since I was little and it's all I know. My childhood was filled with hate and unhappiness. What's wrong with me? Why doesn't she love me like a mother should?" He asks. My heart fills with sadness for him. He's all alone in the world. Slowly, I reach over and place my hand on his on the table like my mother did earlier.

"Ignore her Peeta, she's not worth it," I begin, when the back door slams open and Gale marches in.

"Catnip, are you ready for hunting? I've been waiting for hours!" He takes in my appearance and frowns. "Why aren't you ready?" Then he sees Peeta, and our hands locked on the table, and his face flushes with anger and his grey eyes flash with hate and jealousy. He looks pretty scary and I flinch from his gaze. Holy shit…

**Author's Note: Soooo that was my next chapter! Filled with drama, I know. Again, I hope no-one is offended with the language I use but when I write, I write what I feel is appropriate for the situation. It's rated what it is for a reason, but if you think the rating needs to go up, please let me know. As always, please leave a review to let me know how I'm doing. See ya! **

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx **


	8. One Step Forward, A Giant Leap Back

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! In a really good mood because my birthday was on Saturday****. I had a really good day and it left me inspired so I decided to write this! Enjoy and please leave a review.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games or any of the characters. It would have made an ace pressie though!**

_Then he sees Peeta, and our hands locked on the table, and his face flushes with anger and his grey eyes flash with hate and jealousy. He looks pretty scary and I flinch with his gaze. Holy shit…_

Chapter 8

My mind has just gone completely blank. I don't know what to say, I feel frozen. Peeta gently unlocks my hand from his and stands up.

"Hello Gale," He smiles politely. "I've heard a lot about you." Peeta holds out his hand for Gale to shake but he just ignores him completely.

"Yeah, I'm sure you have." He mutters rudely, then sits himself down at the table and touches my hand which is still splayed across the table. I pull my hand away quickly. He frowns, and grabs my wrist, really hard. It hurts and I want to yank it free, but I feel trapped, so I give in and let him hold it.

"I thought you were supposed to meet me in the woods?" He says gently, but I sense a menacing undertone to it. "Remember, when you came to me last night?" He smiles and steals a sneaky glance at Peeta out of the corner of his eye. I'm so confused. What is he talking about? I haven't seen Gale since we talked in the Justice Building. I bite my lip.

"What are you talking about?" I stutter nervously. He grips my wrist even tighter. What wrong with him? This isn't the Gale I know. His eyes flash with fire.

"Remember?" He says fiercely. I just nod in agreement.

"Why don't you get ready, and then we can go to the woods. I've been dying to get some alone time with you." He says, with a smile on his face. He releases my wrist and I shakily stand up, and discreetly rub my wrist. I steal a glance at Peeta, he looks indifferent, almost bored. Peeta unpacks the basket of bread he left for my mother and grabs the basket.

"Well, I'd better get back." He says coldly. I gaze at him sadly. How is it that just ten minutes ago, he was sweet and gently reassuring but now seems cold and cruel? He reminds me of the Peeta in my dream.

"Yeah, go on baker boy," Gale mutters under his breath. "No-one wants you here." I can see Peeta's eyes narrow slightly, and I drop my gaze to the floor, disgusted by Gale's lack of manners. I grab a bowl of stew my mother made yesterday. I didn't eat it because I was too late back, but Peeta can have it, as a repayment for the bread. Peeta turns to leave, but I place a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Peeta," I start. He turns back and faces me. "Here, have this. My mother made it yesterday." He takes the bowl from me and I can see the gratefulness in his eyes.

"Thanks Katniss." He mutters, squeezing my hands a little. I hear the scrape of the chair across the kitchen tiles as Gale stands up. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me close to him. I squirm out of his grasp but he holds a firm grip on me and it's impossible to escape. What is he doing? And what point is he trying to make?

"Goodbye Katniss, Gale." He nods to us and leaves, the door slamming shut behind him.

"Thank God," Gale mutters. "I thought he was never going to leave!" Finally, I wriggle out of his grasp.

"What the hell Gale?" I shout. "Why did you do that? What are you trying to prove? It's strange and creepy and I don't like it. Peeta has done nothing wrong and you are acting rude and obnoxious. What's your problem?" His eyes flash once more and he pulls away from me and begins pacing the kitchen.

"What's he done wrong? What hasn't he done? How dare he come into your house and talk to you like you are his little thing on the side? You deserve so much better than him!" I'm shocked. For a second, I'm speechless but then my tongue gets the better of me and my words lash out at full force.

"Excuse me? How dare you say he treats me badly, when you are the one who is grabbing my waist and being rude? I can't believe you! You are not the same person I left in the Justice Building." He gasps and flinches like I've just slapped him. I can't bring myself to care, to be honest. I feel like he deserves it. I cross my arms and just stand there, locked in a staring contest across the room. Gale and I are the same. We are both stubborn, with strong will, and neither of us wants to give in. You can feel the tension in the room steadily rising but he is the one to look away.

"You're right Catnip. I'm sorry." He stands in front of me, his stormy grey eyes boring into mine. "Can we go into the woods now? Enough time has been wasted. I need to gather as much game as I can. I start in the mines tomorrow; my family will starve if I don't have a big haul today." I feel a little guilty now. Gale turned eighteen during the Games and I didn't even give it a thought. It's good in a way, he can't be reaped now, but it also means he must work long hours in the terrible mines that killed both our fathers.

"Okay," I finally agree. "Wait here. I'll be ten minutes." I turn away from him and head upstairs. I cross my mother on the stairs.

"What was all the shouting about?" She asks quietly, juggling a large basket of laundry in her arms.

"Don't worry about it mother, it's nothing." I tell her gently, smiling a little. "I'm going hunting with Gale. I'll be back soon." She smiles a little, focusing her gaze on the pile of clothes she's holding.

"Okay, make sure you are back at 9 o'clock because they want to talk you through the schedule for the day. Peeta needs to be here too so make sure you let him know." She says. I groan inwardly. It's not fair. I've not even been back twenty four hours yet and they want to film me already? It's unbelievable. I want to scream and shout and rage but it's not my mother's fault so I force myself to smile gratefully.

"Thank you mother. I'll be sure to let Peeta know." Then I turn away from her and go upstairs to my bedroom. I wander over to the mirror and groan again, only this time at my appearance. I look absolutely awful. What must Peeta have thought? Carefully I study my face. I'm still a little pale from my nightmare, and the remaining beads of sweat stick to my forehead. I turn away from the mirror and dress quickly in some loose fitting beige trousers and a plain black t-shirt. I brush my bird's nest of hair until it is tame, then re-braid it just so it's out of my way. I go into the family bathroom and brush my teeth quickly. I head back downstairs and pull on my father's leather jacket. It's late July, and you can tell that autumn is steadily approaching. In the District, our year is pretty simple. In the early days of the year we celebrate the New Year, then the first day of June is the reaping and over the summer we are all forced to watch the annual Hunger Games. In September we celebrate the harvest festival, one of the only days of the year where everyone in the district is fed. In January, the Victory Tour begins, and we are forced to celebrate our tributes death, but this time, we have to celebrate our victory. The thought makes me shudder. The only thing I am happy about with my victory is parcel day. It happens on the first day in every month, and I am allowed to hand parcels of life to the citizens of the District. My first parcel day will be in a week's time, and even though I hate to be the centre of attention, I am looking forward to seeing the joy of children's faces as I give them their hope. Entering the kitchen, I find Gale near the back door, his face holds a look of longing. You can tell he is dying to go into the woods. For him, these woods are his sanctuary, just like they are mine. Today is his last day of freedom before he has to work in those horrible mines, we need to make the most of it.

"Are we going to the woods or not?" I tease. His head snaps up at the sound of my voice. He seems startled for a minute, but then he opens the door and outstretches his arm.

"After you my lady," He bows for a second and I shove him good naturedly. We head out of the house, and set off towards the woods. Then I remember my mother's words earlier. I need to tell Peeta to be at my house at 9. I stop in the middle of the road, my body already turning back towards Victors Village.

"Wait, I need to go back and talk to Peeta," I tell Gale. "I'll be back in a minute." He closes up instantly, and his brow furrows into a frown.

"Why do you need to talk to _him_?" He asks. "Does he need to know where you are every minute of the day just so he can have a peace of mind?" He snickers nastily.

"Gale!" I warn him, pointing a finger to his chest. "I need to tell him something because my mother told me to. And if you don't like it, you can go away!" Gale rolls his eyes.

"God Catnip, I was only joking!" He smiles, but I don't think he was. "C'mon, we need to get to the woods. You can talk to Bread Boy after!" I cross my arms over my chest stubbornly.

"It can't wait," I tell him. "I have to tell him now!" I turn away from him and head towards Peeta's house. I hear Gale sigh heavily behind me but after a minute follows me. I walk up the steps to Peeta's house and knock quietly. Gale stops at the front gate, he seems not to want to come any further. I roll my eyes when he can't see. What is his problem? After a few seconds, Peeta opens the door and a waft of fresh bread and paint hits my nose. I inhale deeply. Who knew it could smell that nice?

"Katniss?" Peeta asks. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" He smiles and I return it.

"I came to tell you that you need to be at my house at 9. The cameras will be here then." I see him bite his lip for a moment, and I have to turn away. That affects me in some weird sort of way. Then he smiles a little, and I can relax.

"Okay. Thanks for telling me…" He trails off for a minute, opening and closing his mouth like he wants to say something, but can't. "I'm dreading this." He mutters after a pause. I smile awkwardly. I am too. I hate acting, I just can't do it, and now I must pretend for god knows how long.

"I am too." I say. He looks up at me, and we share a moment of understanding. We both hate this façade we must put on, for the sake of the petty fans in the Capitol. I don't understand why they are so obsessed with us anyway, it's not like we are anything special. Peeta and I just stand there, staring at each other. I notice the way the late summer sun makes his hair shine like gold, his pale skin glowing in the light. I notice the flour stain on his dark trousers, the slight smudge of paint on his t-shirt. _He looks so handsome right now…_I think to myself. Whoa…. That's insane. Peeta's blue eyes watch me carefully, and I feel like he can almost see right through me. I can feel my heart beat faster and my cheeks flushing a little. Peeta reaches out a hand, and pushes away a stray lock of hair from my forehead.

"Thank you." I whisper.

"Anytime." He whispers back.

"Catnip!" Gale yells loudly. I flinch. "Are you coming to the woods or not?" I smile at Peeta sadly, wanting to stay with him.

"I'd better go…" I mumble. Then an idea hits me. "Peeta would you like to come for dinner tonight? I know my mother would love to have you!" He smiles radiantly.

"Of course," He tells me. "I'll go and invite Haymitch too. It would be a good thing for him to socialise." I nod. I haven't seen Haymitch since we got off the train. I feel a little bad for not checking in on him. He did save Peeta's life after all.

"Okay." I smile once more. What is it with all the smiling today? I normally never smile this much.

"Katniss!" Gale hollers. He's mad now, I can tell. You can hear it in his voice, that and the fact he called me Katniss not Catnip. I've always hated that nickname. It sounds stupid but it's no use. I told him once before I didn't like it but he refused to stop, so I've just learned to put up with it. I sigh and speak to Peeta one last time.

"See you at 9," I murmur.

"Goodbye Katniss." He touches my shoulder gently, like you would a wounded animal.

"KATNISS!" Gale shouts so loud you could probably hear it in the Seam. Peeta withdraws his hand quickly and I miss it already. I miss his presence, his warmth that never fails to make me smile.

"Goodbye Peeta." I smile once more and I turn away and head back down the path towards Gale. He stomps towards me and grabs my shoulder roughly.

"Now if you don't mind, I'd actually like to go to the woods today to get some food for my family. Not that you care anymore, now that your family is safe and you are rich as fuck will the rest of the district starve!" I gasp in horror.

"Gale! How dare you!" I shout. "Why do you think you can talk to me like that? Do you have no respect for me? You are disgusting!" Gale laughs.

"Says you! Katniss Everdeen, you've changed. You aren't the Catnip who left me in the Justice Building, the Catnip that cared about her family, about me? Now you are just… heartless, simpering and stupid. It turns out that you really don't care about anyone else, just yourself and _Peeta_." He spits his name like its poison. "He's changed you Katniss, no matter what you or anyone else says. You've turned into…into his whore!" He roars. I shrink back. Gale goes into a full on rant, saying awful things about me and Peeta, about everyone in the District. I stare at him in horror. Who is this man?

"That's enough!" Peeta comes running down the path, standing in between us. "I will not hear you talk that way about a lady! Do you have no shame at all?" He yells. Even though Peeta is about an inch shorter than Gale, he seems to grow at that very moment, towering over him. Gale seems to morph into this hideous creature filled with hate and rage. He lifts his arm to punch Peeta, and I run in between him and Gale, trying to block the punch. I feel the smack of the fist in my face and I fall to the ground.

"Katniss!" Peeta gasps, falling to his knees beside me. I look up at Gale a look of horror on his face.

"Catnip, I'm sorry, I wasn't aiming for you! I can't believe you!" He thunders at Peeta.

"Go away," Peeta says calmly, "You've done enough."

"How dare you tell me to go away!" Gale screams. "I'm staying for her." I've had enough. I'm sick of the sight of him.

"Gale, go away." I mumble. Gale is speechless for a second.

"But…Catnip…"He trails off.

"I'm not your Catnip," I say weakly. "I've always hated being called that, and you know it. Now go away!" I close my eyes, and I hear footsteps. I'm guessing that Gale finally has realised it's best to walk away. Peeta picks me up and cradles me to his chest. I snuggle my face against his t-shirt, hoping it can keep away the horrible images that are imprinted into my mind. I open my eyes, and see his face worriedly looking down at me.

"Katniss, are you okay?" Peeta asks. I see it out of the corner of my eye and I don't have time to warn him. Gale comes charging back down the street, roaring like an enraged bull. He punches Peeta full on in the face, and in shock he drops me, and my head hits the floor, my vision is filled with black spots. Gale kicks me in the chest, so hard it knocks my breath away.

"You little slut!" He shouts, then runs away. I hear Peeta gasp my name, and I try to reach for him, to tell him I'm okay but the blackness surrounds me, and I have no choice but to succumb to it…

**Author's Note: Cliff-hanger, again! What's going to happen next? Do you think Katniss will be okay? I found this chapter difficult to write because I don't want to paint Gale as one dimensional, that he's only there to ruin Peeta and Katniss's relationship. I've read so many stories like that, and I hate them, so that's why I was trying to show his nice side when he is alone with Katniss, and his jealous angry side comes out when she's with Peeta. Hope this chapter was okay for you! And remember please leave a review!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	9. Recovery

**Author's Note: Hello! I've had some really positive results from the last chapter. To the person that wanted Gale to be paired up with Madge, it's kinda difficult. I love the idea and it will happen eventually, but at the point in the story, if Gale suddenly got with Madge, it would make absolutely no sense. But I thank you for your idea. I read every review and take on board every comment, so please keep them coming! Sorry I took too long **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Hunger Games. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

_I hear Peeta gasp my name, and I try to reach for him, to tell him I'm okay but the blackness surrounds me, and I have no choice but to succumb to it…_

Chapter 9

The first thing I feel is warmth. It surrounds me, like a comforting blanket on a cold winter's night and I feel as though I want to stay wrapped up in it forever but I know I have to fight it, for Peeta, for Prim. Then I hear faint voices, as though they are a million miles away.

"She won't wake up…" A heartbroken voice says. I know it, from somewhere. "Why hasn't she woken up?" It asks. Then I recognise it. Peeta! I feel so guilty; he must be going through a terrible time.

"She will wake up Peeta. Have some faith." A soothing voice replies that I know belongs to my mother. I can just imagine her standing behind Peeta, gently touching his shoulder. From somewhere deep inside me, I find the strength to open my eyes. I'm lying on my bed, the lamp sending a comforting glow around the room. Peeta is sat beside me, staring out of the window the opposite side of the room. He doesn't seem to have noticed that I've woken up, so I take the time to study his face. His face looks pale and drawn; the circles under his eyes are dark and unforgiving. Worry lines carve deep into his forehead, making him look older than he is. I try to speak, to tell him that I'm awake, that I'm okay yet the words won't come. My face hurts too much to even speak. So instead, I squeeze his hands tightly, and his face turns instantly.

"Katniss?" He whispers shakily, almost like he's in a dream. I struggle to get the word out and it hurts like hell, but I manage it.

"Peeta." It's a croaky whisper and my eyes fill with unshed tears ready to spill at any moment. His face lights up with happiness.

"You're awake!" He sounds so emotional and a single tear falls down his cheek. With a shaking hand I reach up and wipe it away. Peeta leans into my touch, gently grabbing my hand and kissing it gently like he did in the cave. My heart swells with happiness and I lean back into the pillows with a happy sigh. Peeta drops my hand, obviously mistaking my happy sigh for an irritated one.

"I'll get your mother," He abruptly stands up and leaves the room. I roll my eyes. How do I always manage to hurt him? A few minutes later, Peeta returns with my mother in tow. She sets down a box of supplies on my dresser and walks over to me, her face lit up with relief.

"Hello Katniss, it's good to see your eyes open." She smiles and sits on the bed, gently pushing hair away from my forehead.

"How long was I asleep?" I ask.

"A long time," She replies gravely. "Peeta brought you to me about half-past seven this morning, and it's now 8 o'clock." I bite my lip. What did Gale do to me?

"Will she be okay?" Peeta asks, the worried look returning to his face. My mother doesn't answer; she just gently probes my face.

"You have two bruises, one on your jaw and on your chest. They will heal, but it will take weeks for them to completely fade." I feel sick at the thought that Gale's bruises will be on my body for weeks. Then I remember the camera. Surely, they will be horrified at the bruises.

"Mother, what of the cameras? I thought that they wanted to begin filming today?" My mother sighs, gently tracing my face with her fingertips.

"They arrived at 9 o'clock and I sent them away. I tried to lie at first; I felt it was important not to tell them the truth. I believe in patient confidentiality." It's true. No matter what my mother witnesses, she does not gossip.

"But, what happened?" I persist. I want to know what happened. She sighs.

"Well, I could tell that they didn't believe me so I pretended that you had fallen over on the stairs and hit your head. I had to show them the bruises so they would leave! They said that they would talk to the President tonight to see if alternate arranges could be made. They were very disappointed at the prospect; it appears that you are very popular with the Capitol. But you mustn't worry. Effie and Haymitch are trying to get you a week's recovery." I chew my lip. I hope Effie and Haymitch could get me that, but the chances are it won't happen. President Snow is annoyed enough. This won't please him. I'm pulled out of my reverie by my mother reaching over and taking out a bowl and a cloth out of the box and setting it down beside me. Inside the bowl is a watery purple liquid that smells of pine trees. My mother opens up a jar of powder and drops a little into it. Steam rises from the bowl and the liquid fizzes loudly.

"What is that?" I ask.

"It's a powder containing ginger and turmeric. They help the inflammation of the skin. I'm hoping that it will help your muscles heal quicker." I don't question her. She knows best in this situation. I watch Peeta whilst she prepares the medicine. I cannot pick up on his mood. He seems on edge, as if the slightest thing will set him off. His head keeps nodding, as if he will fall asleep on second. I try to tell him this but he just waves me off, telling me he'll be fine. I try to argue, but fail. He refuses to leave. When the bowl stops fizzing, mother dips the cloth into it, soaking up the herbs and gently pressing it to my cheek. She holds it there for a few seconds then removes the cloth. To be honest, I don't feel any difference.

"Is it supposed to do something?" I ask. She smiles.

"No, it's just to start the healing. I need to heat this up," she gestures to the bowl. "And it will form a paste, that's what will help you heal. Get some sleep, I'll be a while." She kisses my forehead and I watch her leave the room, gesturing for Peeta to follow her. He looks at me nervously and I nod at him, letting him know that it's okay to leave. A few seconds later, Prim runs into the room.

"Katniss, are you okay? What happened?" She sits on the side of my bed, an anxious look on her face.

"Nothing happened little duck. I'm perfectly fine." I said weakly. Maybe mother's herbs were starting to work. It was already getting easier to talk. Prim rolled her eyes at me, giving me a look that said 'I know you are lying'.

"I'm not a child anymore Katniss. Don't hide the truth from me. What happened?" I bite my lip.

"Gale happened," I mutter. Prim's eyes widen in shock. This is why I wanted to hide it from her. I don't want her to think of Gale in a bad way.

"Gale did this?" Prim asks quietly. I only nod in return. Her tiny face flushes.

"How dare he think he can do this to my sister? Katniss, you have to stop being friends with him! What kind of friend does this?"

"It was an accident Prim! He didn't mean to hurt me!" I reply quickly. Prim stares into my eyes.

"But he meant to hurt Peeta. And if he hurts Peeta, he hurts you. Katniss stop being so blind! He wanted you to see what you mean to him. He's jealous Katniss." What? I'm so confused.

"What do you mean Prim?" She rolls her eyes.

"What I mean is, Gale is jealous of Peeta. It's obvious that Peeta loves you, you can see it in his eyes. It's also obvious that Gale has feelings for you, and he doesn't like competition. He was trying to win your heart Kat, he just went about it the wrong way." My mouth falls open in shock. Peeta _and _Gale have feelings for me? How is this even possible?

"Prim, what do I do?" I ask desperately. Perhaps she can see a way out of this mess. But Prim just sighs and strokes my hair.

"I can't tell you the answer Kat. You have to figure out what your heart wants, discover who you love." There's that word again. Love. The word I dread. The emotion I cannot afford to let myself feel.

"But Prim, don't you see? I don't love anyone except you and mother. I can't love anyone else!" She smiles sadly.

"You've already fallen in love with one person Katniss. I can see it, clear as day. You just need to realise it." She leans over and gently hugs me.

"Sweet dreams Katniss." Then she leaves the room, quietly shutting the door behind her. I settle back into the pillows, thinking about our conversation. Then I push it from my mind. I can't afford to love someone. So I have no choice but to push them both away. I don't want to, but I will have to for the sake of myself. I cannot give the Capitol yet another weakness to taunt me.

_I wake up to darkness surrounding me. I realise that I'm in the cave and Peeta is beside me. His breathing is ragged, and I can see blood through his bandages on his leg. I realise I must go to the feast. It's my only chance to get medicine, to save him. The only thing I can focus on is keeping Peeta alive. Shakily, I stand up and grab my bow and arrows. I lean over and place a lingering kiss on Peeta's sweaty forehead. _

"_Goodbye Peeta. Don't die on me. Promise?" Then I exit the cave, pushing the tears away. Then I begin to run. I run for hours, desperate to reach the Cornucopia in time. However, I can't seem to find it. I start to get panicked. I must find it. I must get the medicine that will save Peeta's life. I hear the anthem of the Capitol and the seal appears in the sky. They must be showing the dead tributes. I ignore it and keep running, however something forces me to look back. It's showing the cave and Peeta is still lying there asleep. I wonder why they are showing his location for everyone, wouldn't they want to keep the star-crossed lovers alive? Then I see them. The mutts are at the entrance of the cave, reaching closer and closer to Peeta. The drool hangs out of their mouths, spots of dried blood on their muzzle . _

"_Peeta!" I shout and sprint back in the direction that I came from, thanking the Capitol for showing me this. I may have a chance to save him. I run and run, never letting up even when I am exhausted. Finally, I reach the cave, I rush inside, and gasp in horror. The remains of Peeta lay on the floor, his limbs torn off and tattered. His clothes are shredded on the floor, his naked chest covered in claw marks, blood gushing from the cuts. The only thing the mutts have left intact is his face. I sink to my knees beside him and burst into tears. I was too late. Peeta is dead. I've failed him. I cannot save him…_

"Katniss! Katniss wake up! You're safe, I promise!" My eyes fly open, and I'm in a prison, trapped. I must run, I must flee the thing that has me trapped. I fight against what surrounds me until I realise they are strong arms holding me. Peeta holds me to his chest, trying to wake me from the land of terror. I forget my resolve earlier to ignore him, and I bury my head against him gasping for breath, tears streaming down my face. Peeta senses I'm awake and holds me ever tighter.

"Peeta!" I choke out, my voice muffled by his shirt.

"It's okay Katniss, you're safe now. No-one will hurt you." He whispers. I lean back and stare up at his face, his blue eyes wide and filled with nothing but concern.

"You were dead!" I gasp. "I couldn't save you!" Peeta smiles weakly.

"Well, I'm perfectly alright, but thanks for the concern Katniss."

"What are you doing here?" I ask. "Did you really stay all this time?"

"No," Peeta admits. After we left you to sleep, your mother sent me home to sleep. Well, more like ordered. I haven't had one full night's sleep since the Games began. I'd never realised that, what you will see will haunt you for the rest of your life." He mumbles. I nod, understanding completely.

"What do you see, in your nightmares?" I ask gently.

"The games. You. My mother. Everyone I know. It never ends." His eyes fill with tears and I hug him tightly, our tears mingling together, our pain binding us. We stay like that for what seems like hours, curled up together, unleashing our pain onto each other. I have to admit, it helps. After a while, Peeta untangles himself from me and stands.

"I'd better go. Your mother only called me here to wake you up." I frown.

"What happened?"

"In your nightmare, you were screaming, crying out for me. No matter what they tried, your mother and Prim couldn't wake you up. So she knocked on my door, kept knocking till I answered. I came straight over. I have to tell you, I had a difficult time trying to wake you." He pauses. "It was horrible. My heart seemed to shatter over and over just watching you. I thought, I thought that I'd lost you." He sounds so desperate, so heart-broken that I begin to cry again.

"You will never lose me Peeta, never." He smiles a little. And turns to leave again.

"Peeta, wait!" I cry out. He turns instantly.

"What is it?" I don't want to ask him this, it seems selfish, but I cannot help it. He keeps the nightmares away, makes me forget.

"Will you…will you stay with me?" He smiles, and immediately returns to my bed, only this time slipping under the covers. At first, he doesn't hold me, and I smile at his attempt to be gentlemanly. But now is not the time to play safe. It never has been, and I'm not about to start now. I snuggle up to him, and lay my head on his chest. It feels warm and strong, and the fabric of his shirt tickles my cheek, but I don't care.

"Goodnight Peeta," I whisper quietly. He kisses my forehead in reply. I feel so warm and comfortable, almost as though I could stay like this forever.

**Authors Note: And there it is! I've finally finished the night chapter. I had totally not anticipated how long it would take me to write this, but there you go. I hope I have you wanting to know what's next but, who knows maybe you think it's going really badly. Anyway, let me known what you think, or your suggestions. I appreciate them all and take every comment on board so please review. And btw, this story has over 5000 views, thank you so much! See ya soon! **

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xx**


	10. Reality

**Authors Note: Hello again! I haven't updated in a while so I felt it was time to. Just to let you know, this story has over 6000 views! That is amazing and I feel so grateful to you all for supporting me. You will never know how much it means.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in the Hunger Games; it all belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

_I feel so warm and comfortable, almost as though I could stay like this forever._

Chapter 10

I wake up to a darkened room, peaks of sunshine sneak across the carpet and crawl across the walls. I'm snuggled up against Peeta, his arms wrapped tightly round my waist, pulling me to him. But it's too hot, and all I feel is shame. What happened to pushing them both away because of their feelings towards me? I cannot afford to give the Capitol another weakness against me. They've already threatened my sister, by trying to send her into the Hunger Games. Who's next? I shudder a little at the thought.

Quietly, so as not to disturb Peeta, I remove myself from the comfortable bed. I wince. The bruise on my chest makes it hard to do much without feeling pain. Now I understand why my mother told me to have bedrest. Peeta stirs a little, and I hold my breath but he turns over, burrowing his face further into the pillow. I smile a little, he looks so young and innocent, but then I scold myself. I should not be having such thoughts. I search around for some clothes but I can't see any drawers. Then I realise that like most things in this room, it is hidden. I open up the closet door, marvelling at the mass of fabric before me. There is every colour, in every shade imaginable. I see everything, from rough cotton to smooth silks and satins. I'm in awe of this magnificent wardrobe and I know that there is only one person who could have done this, Cinna. The thought of him brings a smile to my face. I grab a pair of dark blue trousers and a simple white t-shirt and head to the bathroom to dress. I'm not comfortable dressing in front of Peeta, even though he is asleep. I stand in front of the mirror in my underwear, both amazed and horrified at my reflection. The body-buff has ridden my body of all scars and marks, so my skin has a healthy glow. My hair is sleek and shiny from the remainder of the Capitol Factor products they coated on my hair. I'm still trying to wash it all off. However, the dark purple bruise across my chest mars the perfection, it's large and painful. If you look closely, you can see the imprint of Gale's boot. I shake a little at the thought, remembering the pain of his kick. To get the images out of my head, I quickly pull on the shirt, covering the bruise. After I'm dressed, I run the comb through my hair and then braid it in my usual style. My stomach growls hungrily, so I decide to head downstairs and see if I can get my mother to make me some breakfast. I don't trust myself in an unknown kitchen; chances are I'll burn the place down. Walking down the stairs, I see my mother and Prim cooking breakfast. I go in and sit myself down at the table, yawning. My mother looks startled when she sees me.

"Katniss, what are you doing? You are supposed to be on bedrest!" She scolds.

"It doesn't hurt," I lie. "I'm perfectly fine." Mother stares at me for a long time; her ice-blue eyes seem to see straight through my lie. She sighs a little.

"Fine, just don't do anything strenuous. You have to give your body a chance to heal." She turns away from me, and stirs something in a pan. Prim hands me a plate of toasted bread and butter, and I eat it hungrily. She sits opposite to me and tells me what's being going on at school while I was away. I listen for a little while, but then I start to feel restless. I never could sit still for long. I stare out of the window, watching the silent Victor's Village. Our house is closest to the road that leads to town; you can see the faint outline of the Justice Building, the tallest building in the District. I long to go into the woods, I haven't been there in months and I miss it. The way the leaves rustle gently in the wind, the peace and serenity of nature.

"Katniss?" Prim waves a hand in front of my face, bringing me back to reality.

"Did you hear anything of what I just said?" I look over at Prim, she's sitting with her arms crossed, a sulky look on her face.

"I'm sorry Prim, I didn't mean to." I expected her to smile, but instead she looks even more cross.

"Katniss, that's not fair! I listen to you all the time, and do you listen to me? No." I try to interrupt but her glare keeps me silent. "You've been away for months, and all you talked about was wanting to come home and see mother and me, and when you get you back, you ignore us and shut us out. Katniss, you have been home for two days, and already you are upsetting everyone. It's so selfish!" She shouts. I sit speechless. Prim has never talked like that to me before.

"Primrose Everdeen, what a horrible thing to say to your sister after what she has been through! Apologise at once!" Mother scolds. Prim stands up and grabs a basket hanging on a hook and pulls on her shoes.

"I won't apologise," She says stubbornly. "Katniss can apologise to me first! I'm going into town to get some food. I'll be back soon." She smiles a little at my mother then goes out the back door, slamming it behind her. My mother calmly pours herself a cup of tea, sighing a little. She silently joins me at the table, her spoon continually stirring the tea.

"She's at that age," My mother says. "It's bound to happen sooner or later." I frown.

"So she's not even in trouble?" I ask. How is that fair?

"Katniss, she shouldn't have spoken so rudely, I agree. But… she is right in what she said. Think about that." She stands up and leaves the room. The anger bubbles over in me. How was Prim right? I don't understand. Suddenly, I can't stand to be in this house any longer. It threatens to suffocate me, pull me under and I can't let that happen. I grab a random jacket off the side and storm out of the house, slamming the door. I stomp down the path, about to head into town when it enters my head to check on Haymitch. I haven't seen him since I got off the train and I meant to. I cross the road to the house that looks in complete and utter disrepair. Of course it would only be Haymitch's house. I walk up the steps to his house and knock on his door. No answer. I do it again and again. Is he ignoring me? Then I remember, he's probably passed out somewhere. I twist the handle but the door won't open. It's not locked though. I shove against the door until it opens enough to let me slip through. Once I'm inside I see why the door wouldn't move. Tons of envelopes line the door, spilling all the way down the hall. No-one in District 12 can send or receive mail, so I wonder where it has all come from. I bend down and pick one up. The envelope is a deep cream, and it has the Capitol stamp on the back. It's dated 50 ADD. That's the year that Haymitch won his games, the second Quarter-Quell. Out of curiosity, I open it. A faded picture falls out, of a Capitolite woman. She is young, maybe 16 or so with long dark hair and big eyes. You can't really tell from the picture, but her eyes are an unnatural colour, black with flecks of grey. Carefully, I set the picture on a nearby table and open the letter.

_To Mr Abernathy,_

_I want to congratulate you on winning the second Quarter-Quell. I watched your games with both admiration and curiosity. You intrigued me from the moment that you were reaped. You will have no idea how handsome you were, despite coming from District 12. What is it like to live there? I have always wanted to know. I digress. Back to the subject, you have so many fans here. Everywhere I go; people are always talking about the handsome new Victor. To be honest with you, I was quite jealous of their affections, but I know they could never match up to mine! I know we have never met, but, I feel like I know you already. I know you were made for me. I feel it in my heart. I…I've fallen in love with you. How crazy does that sound? No-one will believe me, they all say that it is just a fleeting crush, that I will fall for the next desirable Victor that comes along, but I can't help feeling that it is fate. My family and I are moving to District 12 in a few weeks. My father works with President Snow, and he has wanted to move away from the Capitol for a while now. The President was reluctant to say the least; he is inherently distrustful of our motives. We are not against the President; we simply want to live a simple life. Eventually he agreed, but warned us that District life is not easy, that my twin sister and I will be eligible for the reaping. Even though our life may be harder, I feel that it will be worth it. I will get to meet you, which is all I have wanted to do for the past few months! Please, write back to me. Tell me of your life, your likes and dislikes, your desires and wishes. It would mean the world to me._

_Yours truly, _

_Maysilee Donner._

I frown at the letter. This letter was sent over twenty years ago, and has never been opened till this very day. Her family moved to this District? What people from the Capitol would want to move here, leave their life of luxury behind? I sense that there is more to this letter, some kind of mystery to unravel. I mean to find out what it is. I try to think back over all the families in the District, to try and see if I can remember anyone with the surname Donner. My mind draws a blank. Maybe Haymitch will know. I'm intrigued as to if he ever met her. She seemed so infatuated with him. I shake my head. I could never imagine being that in love with someone. I pick up the picture and letter and wade my way further into the house. All the curtains are drawn and I'm knee-deep in litter. The house stinks, of alcohol and vomit, it's disgusting. It makes me want to be sick. I find Haymitch sprawled over a table, his cheek, digging into the wood. He's surrounded by bottles; a few lie smashed on the floor. In his house you cannot see the floor. He really needs a housekeeper or something, anything to clean this disgrace of a house. I wade over to the window and try to open up the stiff latch. Some fresh air will do this place good. I reach over and touch his shoulder.

"Haymitch, wake up!" He doesn't reply, just exhales loudly. I roll my eyes in annoyance. Am I really going to have to spend half of my day trying to wake him up? I continue shaking him and yelling his name but nothing works. I sigh and fill a cup of cold water and throw it over him. I have to wake him up somehow. The water trick works. He stands up and slashes a weapon around. Crap. I'm standing too close to get out of the way quick enough. A blade cuts into my hand and it immediately starts pouring blood.

"Haymitch! Look what you've done to my hand!" I scream, thrusting it into his face. A steady stream of blood trickles down my arm and lands on the floor. Oh well, it's already a mess, some blood won't make a difference. His hand grabs my wrist and I grunt in pain. He peers at me with blurry eyes.

"Sweetheart? What are you doing here?" He mumbles.

"I came to see how you were but I had no idea…" I trail off. "Your house is disgusting, and you cut me!" I show him the cut in my hand. He slumps down into his chair.

"Oh, sorry about that Sweetheart. You'll learn for next time!" He laughs a little then stops quickly, clutching his head. "Oh shit, my head feels like it's been bashed into a wall."

"It probably has, judging by the state of you." I say dryly. I can bring myself to have no sympathy for this disgusting drunk. I search for some clean material but find none, so rip a strip off my shirt and wrap it tightly round my hand. The white material soon fades to a deep red.

"I'm going to have to see my mother about this," I say waving my injured hand at him. "She won't be happy with you." I warn. Haymitch rolls his eyes.

"Like I give a shit about that." He replies and I glare at him. He holds his hands up in defeat.

"Alright, I'm sorry Katniss. I didn't mean to hurt your hand. What's that?" He asks, pointing to my other hand. I realise I'm still clutching the letter and the picture. I set it down on the table. Haymitch grabs it and studies it closely.

"Oh this? It was in an envelope addressed to you. I was only curious, and since her family moved to this District, I was wondering if you knew them?" I trail off, realising Haymitch is staring at me with a strange expression on his face.

"Where the hell did you get this?"

**Author's Note: Cliff-hanger! I love doing those. I suppose it's not really a cliff-hanger, as most of you guys probably know who Maysilee Donner is, but I wanted to put a different spin on their story. Same with Prim, I just feel she is portrayed as such a good person all the time, and at the end of the day, no-one is perfect. I wanted to show that Prim has her flaws too! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, sorry for not updating in so long. Please review, I love receiving them and they really help me improve. I'll update soon!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xx**


	11. Discovery

**Author's Note: Hello once again! I know it's been so long since I updated and I didn't want to leave you disappointed. Hope you enjoy the chapter and please leave a review. They are very much appreciated. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Hunger Games. It belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

"_Where the hell did you get this?__**"**_

Chapter 11

Haymitch looks so angry, yet at the same time sad and lost. I've never seen an expression like it and it startles me.

"Well, it was on in the pile at your letters at your door. I was just interested, I didn't mean any harm." I say quietly. Shakily, Haymitch stands up, clutching his head.

"So you were bored and you thought it would be fun to go through my mail? How dare you?" He screams. "What right do you have to go through my things?" After his rant, he slumps down in the chair again, breathing heavily. I prepare to shout an insult but Haymitch snatches the letter from the table and hugs it close to his chest. To my utter surprise, tears fall from his eyes.

"I didn't know," he croaks over and over, like a broken record. I just stand there, unsure what to do. Carefully, so as not to startle him, I sit opposite him and wait patiently. After a few minutes, he straightens up and furiously blinks the tears away.

"Are you okay?" I ask gently. His head snaps up to look at me and his eyes flash with something, embarrassment.

"You never saw that," he growls. "Forget it ever happened." I narrow my eyes. I really want to find out what's going on here. Maybe a little negotiation will get me what I want.

"I'll forget it ever happened…If you tell me who she is and what happened." Haymitch glares at me, seeming to weigh up his options. I sit waiting patiently for his answer. He reaches over and grabs a bottle, quickly unscrewing the cap and takes a long drink. He sighs.

"Fine, I'll tell you." He agrees. I lean forward, intrigued to hear his story.

"I'd just won the second Quarter Quell. I was kind of shocked that I'd won. I couldn't believe that I'd made it. I was a Victor. At the time, I didn't know whether to celebrate, or break down in despair. I'd won, but by killing people. I'm sure you know the feeling." I nod, my stomach twisting in knots as I remembered how I'd felt when I won. Happiness that I could go home, worry for Peeta, despair for all the other tributes who didn't make it. It's horrible feeling, one I never want to feel again. I shake off the dark thoughts in my head and listen to the rest of the story.

"I'd been in recovery for a week since the Games, the Capitol were itching to see me and celebrate my victory. Even though I was nowhere near healthy they wheeled me out anyway. I was given some kind of stick to help me walk to the Victors chair. I had my interview with Fabios Rosita, the interviewer before Caesar Flickerman. The crowd were so loud with their screams that I could barely hear myself think. Towards the end of the interview, I happened to glance across the audience. Right at the front, a girl with dark hair was sat watching me intently."

"It was Maysilee?" I gasp. Haymitch frowns at me and tells me to shut up.

"I don't know if it was her, but it sure looked like her. At the time I thought she was just a Capitolite girl, and I didn't think of her anymore. Then my interview was over and I left without thinking more of it. President Snow talked to me before I left for District 12, he told me that he was not happy with me for making the Capitol look like idiots and that if I didn't improve my behaviour there would be serious consequences." Haymitch shudders at the memory. I can only imagine what that would be like. I hope that I never have a conversation like that with the President.

"I returned to District 12 and I was reunited with my family. I was so happy. I looked everywhere for me girl, anxious to see her again. She'd promised she'd be there. But she wasn't. I made a million excuses in my mind, she was sick, someone in her family had died, she'd forgotten. However, I knew I was just lying to myself. I wanted to know why she wasn't there. When I'd had a chance, I snuck away from the cameras and my family and walked around the Seam, hoping I'd spot her. I went back to my old house and picked up a few precious items to take to Victor's Village. I went round the corner, and nearly walked into a couple leaning against the wall kissing. I apologised and skirted around them, wanting to continue my search. Then I heard a giggle from the girl, and I turned round quickly. My girl, kissing another man? I was so shocked I couldn't move, speak, think. I must have made some kind of noise because they broke apart and she stared at me in horror.

"Anna?" I asked in shock.

"Mitch!" She'd smiled awkwardly. "Hello…"

"What are you doing?" I yelled at her. "You said you were my girl! You were supposed to wait for me!" My eyes had filled with tears but I'd refused to cry. I was a Victor, for fuck's sake! I was supposed to appear strong, and I knew if I cried, I'd look weak.

"Mitch, what was I supposed to do?" She'd whispered. "I never believed you would come home." I was so mad at that point it was unbelievable. She'd promised she'd be there, that she would always wait for me. I just couldn't take it anymore. I told her it was over and ran off. I went to the Meadow and sulked. I must have sat there for hours; I was so lost in thought. It was dusk and I was just about to head back to Victor's Village when I saw her. A slim girl carrying a basket. Her dark hair was wrapped up in a bun and her skin glowed in the fading light. She was beautiful. She saw me, but sat a little away from me, sensing I wanted to be alone. The girl began picking flowers and threaded them into a chain. She was humming some tune under her breath. I was intrigued with this girl so I sat next to her. We talked, and all I ended up doing was moaning about Anna. She listened and offered me some advice. She was about to leave when I put my hand on her cheek and kissed her. I think it was because I just wanted to forget about Anna. Afterwards she left and I felt horribly guilty. The next day I tracked her down and found out that she lived in the merchant part of town. We quickly fell in love, even though her twin sister never approved. She didn't like me anyway! After a few months of us dating, terrible things started happening. Her family lost lots of business, the food parcels were full of rotten food. It took me a while to figure out that Snow was punishing me for my stunt in the Games." I shuddered. What a horrible thing to happen to someone. No wonder Haymitch warned me about making the Capitol look a fool. Then a letter came through the door from the Capitol. I'll spare you the gory details. I refused to do what Snow wanted. The next week, she got a terrible illness, one the apothecary owners couldn't heal, no matter what they tried. A few days later, she passed away and I was devastated." There was complete silence when his story ended. I didn't know what to say.

"I…I'm so sorry Haymitch." I say awkwardly. He nods, grabbing another bottle.

"Whatever. Now fuck off and let me drown my sorrows." I quickly escape out of the house gasping at the fresh air. I make my way back to my house, desperate to apologise to my mother and Prim. Hearing Haymitch's story has made me realise how important family is. I rush through the door to find my mother and Prim cooking tea in the kitchen.

"Katniss, where have you been?" My mother gasps. "We've been so worried!" I bite my lip. I didn't realise that just leaving the house would worry her. Before the Games, I used to randomly leave the house all the time, but I've been so crazy lately that they don't know what I'm going to do next.

"I'm sorry," I reply sincerely. "I was visiting Haymitch. I didn't realise you would worry so much." My mother sighs, getting plates out of the cupboard.

"Of course we will worry Katniss, we are your family. It's our job to worry." I don't know how to reply to that so I stay silent. Did she worry about me after my father died and she was stuck in an abyss of depression? Prim lays the plates on the table and we all sit silently as we eat. An awkward silence ensues. Prim won't look at me. The most words she spoke to me was 'would you pass the pepper'. I need to work this out but I don't know what to say.

"Erm…I'm sorry." I mutter. Prim and my mother look up in surprise. "I'm sorry for ignoring you Prim. I'm sorry for not appreciating you both. I'm sorry for doing everything my way and not considering your feelings. I'm sorry for being selfish." My mother flashes me a weak smile.

"It's alright Katniss. As long as you've apologised and understand what you did wrong, then you can work on putting it right." I smile but inside I'm furious. My mother has no right to say these things. Still, I guess she is learning. I'm hardly in a place to judge her. Prim still stares down at the table, deliberating with herself.

"Prim…" I begin again but her head snaps up and she jumps out of her seat. She rushes round the massive table into my lap and throws her arms around my neck.

"Shh," She whispers. "I forgive you." I hug her tightly and she begins crying, sobbing all over me.

"I'm sorry Katniss; I shouldn't have snapped at you, I know you've been having a hard time. I just missed you, and I didn't know what to do!" I smile, even though she can't see it, and hold her ever tighter.

"It's okay Little Duck; I know you didn't mean it." We hug for a long time, and I vaguely notice mother clearing away the table and begin washing up with a faint smile on her face. Prim eventually releases me and gets off my lap. We help mother with the dishes, Prim dries them and I put them away since my mother and Prim are too small to reach the top cupboards. Sometimes you have advantages being the tallest in the house. Afterwards, we go into the living room and my mother turns on the television. She walks over to the bookshelves and picks up a book containing medical knowledge. I would read but I simply cannot be bothered. So I watch TV. As usual, they are talking about the games. It's a documentary on how they create the Hunger Games and talk to many gamemakers and citizens of the Capitol. The interview a famous Capitolite woman Catrina Cartier about her opinion on the latest Victors.

"Oh I simply cannot wait to meet the famous Star-crossed Lovers of District 12. I plan to meet them when they come to the Capitol. I'm especially excited to meet Peeta Mellark, I'm sure he could teach me how to cook up a storm with those incredible hands of his." She sighs happily. "Oh I just can't wait!" She then talks about her latest film, that will premier when we have the Victory tour. I roll my eyes at the woman's audacity. How dare she talk about _my _Peeta in that way? Wait, what am I going on about? He's not mine. Now he's back in District 12, I'm sure there will be no end of women falling over themselves just to talk to him. A strange feeling comes over me that I've never felt before. It couldn't be jealousy could it? I shake my head. It couldn't possibly be. I don't feel that way about Peeta. I yawn. I think I should try to sleep. Quickly, I say goodnight to my mother and Prim and dash up the stairs to my room. I strip of my clothes except my t-shirt and knickers and fall into bed. All I can remember is how Peeta held me last night, the way his strong arms surrounded and comforted me. I bury deeper into the pillow, trying to will away the unwanted thoughts of Peeta that have now flooded my mind.

**Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know I changed Maysilee's character but I tried to stick with her character as much as possible. I just wanted her to have a deeper connection with Haymitch than she does in the book. Also hope you like how I gave Haymitch more of a backstory. I know that there was not much Everlark in this chapter, I plan to write more soon and for all the Gale fans, he will soon be making a return! **

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	12. Relations

**Author's Note: Hello, firstly I want to apologise to you all. I haven't updated in months because I haven't been obsessed with Hunger Games like normal, however, the recent pictures and trailer released have inspired me and reinstated my massive crush on Josh Hutcherson (he's so perfect!) Shout out to all you Peeta lovers! Anyway, enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Hunger Games.**

_I bury deeper into the pillow, trying to will away the unwanted thoughts of Peeta that __have now flooded my mind. _

Chapter 12

I wake up in the morning, feeling exhausted. I had yet another nightmare last night. Will it never end? I close my eyes and try to will my brain back into sleep, but it won't listen. I remain awake. It's no use. I sigh and force myself out of the warm comfortable bed, ready to face whatever will be thrown at me today. I stand up and stretch, my bones creaking in protest. Then I feel the sting of my bruise. However, I refuse to let that depressing thought ruin my day. I wander over to the mirror, pushing my tangled hair away from my eyes. I see the deep black circles from under my eyes and sigh. I look like I haven't slept properly in weeks. I roll my eyes and straighten my rumpled clothes. I spot my bag lying on the sofa from the train. I smile slightly. I knew I could trust Cinna. I grab it and open it, emptying the contents onto my bed. I carefully fold the silk scarf and blue hair ribbons neatly and put them into a drawer, meaning to give them to Prim and my mother later. I find Peeta's t-shirt crumpled up in the corner but I bring it out carefully, like if I clutch it too hard, it will break. I bring it to my nose and inhale deeply. It smells exactly like Peeta. Tears prick at the corner of my eyes but I will them away, wanting to be strong. Carefully I fold the t-shirt and gently place it under my pillow where I know it's safe. Wanting something to do, I wander over to the bay window and open the thick, heavy curtains, letting sunlight poor through the room in a flood of happiness and comfort. When you have lived in the Seam all your life, sunlight is a positive thing. It shows that you had survived the night, made it to a new day and ready to face whatever hardships were thrown at you. Just the thought of the sun rising up from the treeline, the sky streaked with pink and purple, bringing the promise of a new day just filled you with hope. A small knock brings me out of my reverie.

"Good morning Katniss," my mother smiles gently, walking into the room, looking slightly sleepy. She's dressed in a flowery print dress from her younger days, her tiny shoulders covered with a white cardigan to protect her from the cool breeze. It may only be late July, but as a person from the Seam; it means get ready for the harsh reality of winter as there is only one month left of the warm weather. Her long blonde hair is in a bun, shining slightly in the morning sunlight. Even though her face is worn and beaten down, she looks younger than she has done in years. I feel glad that even though I suffered so much in the Hunger Games, my family are happy and safe.

"Good morning mother," I reply cordially. I still feel annoyed about her comments from last night, but I'm not going to let her pettiness bother me. I have more important things right now that I need to focus on. Like Gale. I'm not happy that things were left the way they were between us. He hurt me deeply, not just physically but by his comments too. However I know I hurt him too, by playing my up my romance with Peeta for the cameras. Romantically, Peeta has been the only person I've ever had experience with, and I think that fact upsets Gale. However, it's in the past, I would like to move on from it as much as possible and forget it all. I want my life back, and I know that Gale plays a key role in helping my get my life back.

"I'm glad you're up," I hear my mother saying. "I wanted to wake you but I thought it was best to let you get as much sleep as possible. Have you got any plans for the day?"

"Thanks for the concern, but I'm fine." I smile while I say this but inside I just want to scream. "I was hoping to go into town and drop by the Hob. I want to visit Hazelle too; I haven't seen her in months." My mother smiles happily.

"Excellent. It'll be good for you to go to town, but remember, nothing strenuous; you want your injuries to get better not worse!" I frown a little.

"Mother, what do you think I'm going to do? I'm not exactly going to climb over the rooftops and fire arrows at the coal mines. I'm just going to take a walk!"

"I know Katniss, but you're so headstrong, you'd do anything you set your mind to. I just worry about you that's all. You're only sixteen." I glare at her back as she walks across my room, straightening my bed covers and picking up a cushion that fell off the window sill.

"I have been through a lot more than most sixteen year olds have!"

"I know that Katniss but-"

"But nothing! I'm not a little girl anymore! People have died at my hand, and in my opinion, that does not make you a child, so please stop treating me like one!" I turn on my heel and stomp out of the room, avoiding Prim who stands on the landing, her mouth open wide. I head into the bathroom and slam the door so hard the whole house shakes. I glare at my messy appearance in the mirror. Quickly, I peel off my nightwear and step into the shower, squealing a little at the freezing temperature. After waiting a few seconds, it's perfectly warm and heavenly to stand under, just like summer rain. I vigorously wash my hair and scrub my body, trying to peel away all the dirty layers of skin. Even though I washed my hands not even a day ago, I can still see the tributes' blood on them, no matter how hard I scrub. I let out a tiny sob then steel myself. I am not allowed to cry. I am not allowed to cry. I mumble these words over and over to myself, hoping that if I say them enough times they will come true. Gasping suddenly, I realise that the water is cold. Even though I live in Victor's Village, it doesn't mean I have the ultimate luxury like I had at the Capitol. I don't mind though, as the idea of life in the lap of luxury doesn't appeal to me. Sighing, I step out of the shower and dry my body, wrapping the towel tightly around my body. Cautiously, I open the bathroom door a tiny bit and stick my head out, watching out for my mother. I can't believe why we are falling out so much all of a sudden. We never used to be like that. I roll my eyes at how pathetic I am, acting like I'm scared of my mother. I feel like for the past five years, I've been _her _mother, looking after us and keeping us from the dreaded fate of the community home. I step out of the bathroom, shivering slightly from the chill. I walk into my room and head towards the closet, wanting my freezing body to be covered up as quickly as possible. I dress like I used to; solid boots that have seen better days, the tops covered by dark trousers and my father's tan leather jacket. I love that jacket. The leather is faded and worn, the lining soft and patchy from use. However, I still love it. The memories, comfort and security this jacket gives me is unreal. It helps focus me and keep me calm. When I wear it, I feel that my father is watching over me, protecting me. I braid my still damp hair and let it fall over my left shoulder. I walk down the stairs, wincing at every creak that gives my footsteps away. With my hunter's tread, I am usually silent but these stairs creak and groan at every step. It makes me wonder just how old these houses are. Were they built 74 years ago, only to be renovated every few years? I have no idea. I walk into the kitchen and grab an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter. I open the drawer that holds my monthly winnings. It's delivered in notes in an envelope per month, and according to law, I am allowed to ask for more if I should ever need it, however my the amount per month is so extortionate, I do not ever see myself asking for more. Clearly my mother or Prim have been to town lately, as some of the pristine notes have been exchanged for dirty district copper. I fish out a handful of coins and stick them in the zip pocket of the jacket. There's a lot I want to do today. Closing the drawer, I turn around to grab my game bag but my mother is sitting at the table, regarding me silently. Strange, I didn't even hear her come in. She hesitates a little but then speaks almost in a whisper.

"Katniss, while you're in town, would you mind getting me these things for the house? Also, Effie called whilst you were in the shower," I roll my eyes a little, what does she want?

"She wanted me to let you know that she and Haymitch convinced the president to let you have a few days rest but on Parcel day you must return to your duties." That's good, I never expected that. I'm only too happy to have a few days free of the camera. Subconsciously, my hand ghosts over the fading bruise on my cheek.

"However, in exchange, you and Peeta must be filmed longer than normal. Apparently, the Capitol citizens are so obsessed with your love story, they are demanding to see you both settling back into the fantastic life of a Victor." She says this with no sarcasm, almost like she actually believes it. Does she not realise that I've been a Victor for nearly a week and I already hate it. It confuses things and messes up your life, and I think that no matter how hard you try it will be nigh on impossible to get your old life back. I sigh.

"I see. I'll let Peeta know. Thanks mother." She stands up, a list in her tiny hands and puts it in my game bag, her eyes shining bright with tears. I suddenly feel bad, but it's not my fault, is it?

"It's no trouble Katniss. And if you can't get any of these things in town, please don't worry. Give my best regards to Hazelle." Tentatively, she steps forward; her arms open before she attaches herself to me, burying her face in my shoulder. I stand stiff for a few seconds, then force my body to relax and wrap my arms round her.

"Be safe." She whispers in my ear. I break away from her hug and smile gently.

"I will." Then I open the door and head out into town.

**Author's Note: Tension in the Everdeen Household! I always go into more detail than I expect, but I really want to establish the struggling relations Katniss has with people, trying to adjust back to District life is not easy. She feels like she can only properly talk to Haymitch and Peeta, because they understand. How do you think Katniss's trip into town will go? And don't worry Gale fans, he will be re-entering the story soon, and I will try not to make him too mean and jealous. We all love their awesome brother and sister relationship! Again, really sorry about the delay in update, I'm so ashamed, I promise I will write more soon! Please read and review, they are greatly appreciated good or bad.**

**Lots of love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	13. Shopping

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! Am so happy that this story has over 10,000 views, I never expected to get this many and I feel so grateful to you all. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Love to you all! Enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Hunger Games. It is the property of the fabulous Suzanne Collins.**

_Then I open the door and head out into town._

Chapter 13

I close the door, wondering what just happened with my mother. I find it strange how she can go from argumentative and annoying, to gentle and fearful. I sigh. It feels like whatever I do, I'm hurting someone. Determined to put these thoughts out of my head, I start jogging up the long desolate road towards town. It's a nice day with clear blue skies but I can't help but feel a sense of loneliness as I jog along the road. However, I start to feel my spirits lift as I get closer to town. I pass the Peacekeeper Headquarters, a tall, dismal building that all the Peacekeeper's live in. Directly next to it, is the Head Peacekeeper's house, Cray. He is a disgusting old man that salivates over the young women of the District. Every night, there is a line of starving, desperate girls that line up outside, freezing to death in the hope that he will pick them. If you are picked, he will pay you handsomely for the pleasure of your company. I shudder as I pass his door, thinking that a few years ago, when I was desperate and starving, I could have been one of them. The stench of alcohol and smoke threaten to choke me as I hurry past desperate to get away from that foul place. Opposite Cray's house, a neatly clipped hedge lines the road; a rusting wrought iron gate is nestled in the middle. It belongs to the Mayor and his family. It's the biggest house in the District, excluding Victor's Village. I wonder why there are so many starving families in the Seam, yet a tiny family of three live in the lap of luxury. It's not fair. No-one in the Seam has a chance, unless you stumble across a miracle, or you win the Hunger Games, and that's hell in itself. I roll my eyes and continue on towards town. The outlines of buildings become closer and closer, until I find myself at the crossroads. Straight ahead of me the town square with people milling around, laughing and in high spirits, making the most of the warm weather. On both sides of the road, the bricks join in an arch above me. To my left, the antiques shop, to the right, the bakery. I can feel the warmth from the bricks and the smell of warm bread makes my mouth water. Behind me, the miserable road that takes me back to Victor's Village. Plucking up the courage, I place a foot forward out of the shadows into the town square. Around three sides of the square, shops lined up next to one another have their doors flung open wide, people in light summery clothes breeze in and out of shops, searching for the items they desire. I grab my mother's list out of my game bag and stare at it.

_1\. Stewing Steak_

_2\. Salted Bacon_

_3\. Bolt of white cotton_

_4\. Bandages_

_5\. ¼ ounce of peppermints_

_6\. Bread_

_7\. 3 Chocolate and vanilla cupcakes_

I could probably get all of these from the Hob. They would be less expensive, but not as good a quality as from the merchants. I sigh. This is what they do for a living. Compared to the Seam people, they have an easy life, but Peeta says his family still struggled even though they lived in a frigging bakery. Maybe I should part my money with the merchants, but my own personal purchases will come from the Hob. Just because I'm a Victor, doesn't mean I've changed. A cool breeze sweeps through the square. It sends a chill straight through me. I pull my father's jacket closer to my chest and begin my shopping trip. I head to the butchers first, and enter nervously, unsure what to do or say. We've never had the privilege of entering the shop entrance. It's always been at the back door, meat on hand. Rooba, the butcher's wife is a kind and good woman. We trade often, and if I ever bring down a deer, she will butcher it for free, as long as she gets some meat in return. She gives you a fair price, but you can't negotiate with her. She's as straight up and down as an ironing board. I walk in, the smell of raw meat assaulting my nose instantly. Full animals dangle from hooks, packs of meat neatly wrapped and stored in the see through counter. It creeps me out, seeing all those dead animals. It reminds me of the games. _Dead tributes, corpses lying around the Cornucopia at the start of the games._ Stop right there, I think to myself. There's no point freaking out. The games are over. I repeat this phrase in my mind as I look around. There's no-one in the shop, but I hear a low humming in the next room. I look around, wrapping my arms around my self subconsciously. I notice a tiny bell on the counter so I ring it. The bell sends out a brisk shrill around the room. Rooba comes through to the shop front, wiping her hands on a towel before looking at me. She stares for a second before recovering.

"My, my, my if it isn't Katniss Everdeen!" I smile shyly.

"Hello Rooba," She leans over the counter and grabs my hand, holding it in her firm grasp and shaking it.

"It's good to see you back, Katniss. What are you doing here in my little shop?" I dig out the crumpled list from the corner of my game bag and show her.

"Do you happen to have any stewing steak or bacon?" She stares intently at me for a minute, but then shakes her head and heads to the meat counter, rifling through the wrapped packages. A few seconds later, she has two neat parcels on the counter, wrapped in brown paper.

"Here you go." She presses a few buttons on the till, until it beeps out a price. I nearly gasp in horror at how expensive it is. I never would have come here if I had realised! Then I remember, I need never find anything expensive ever again. It's a strange feeling, knowing I have so much money. It's one I don't think I'll ever be used to. Without a word, I dig out a few coins and place them on the counter, taking the wrapped parcel and stuffing it at the bottom of my game bag. I mutter my thanks and turn to leave. The sound of my name startles me, and I turn automatically. Rooba holds out my mother's shopping list, an unsure look on her face. I smile as I take the list and shake her hand once more.

"It was nice seeing you again Rooba." She beams with pleasure.

"You too Katniss." Then I leave the shop shaking slightly. I feel relieved to be back out in the sunshine. I walk down the street, avoiding the main square. I don't want to be the centre of attention. I get enough of that already. I pass the blacksmith; the clunking of metal could be heard from miles off. Turning a corner, I arrive outside the sweet shop. It's the brightest shop in the district, even though the sign is old and creaky with the paint faded and peeling off. The last time it was redecorated was before I was born I think. All the shops in the merchant square are many years old; they were built just after the Dark Days when many of the Districts needed urgent repair. These shops pass through each generation, it is pretty much demanded that one child of the previous family must take on the business. Before I'd probably roll my eyes at this, but now I realise it's just the merchant's way of securing their future. They need to survive just as much as people in the Seam. I enter the sweetshop and the smell of warm sugar envelops me. I sniff the air appreciatively. An old woman sits on a rocking chair by the fire, knitting and humming an old song from before the dark days. I wander around the shop, surrounded by jars and jars or coloured treats. I quietly walk over to the old woman.

"Excuse me?" I ask politely. She ignores me and carries on knitting. I stand for a few seconds, but when I don't get a reply, I turn to walk out but I then feel a wrinkly hand grab my wrist.

"Katniss…Katniss Everdeen?" My eyes widen in shock. How does she know me? I try to wrench my hand away, but for an old crone, she has a surprisingly strong grasp.

"Why are you running, my child? I may be old but I'm not stupid."

"Can I have a quarter of peppermints please?" I stutter nervously. The woman shifts her gaze to me, and I squirm a little under her stare. Slowly, she stands and shuffles over to the jar, gently shaking out the contents into the scales. She tips the sweets into a bag and twists the ends before giving it to me, her bony hand held out for the money. Cautiously, I place a coin in her hand, and then she grabs my hand and turns it over, her skeleton-like fingers tracing the lines in my palm. I want to break away, but I can't. It's like I'm transfixed.

"I can see…" I'm so confused, what can she see from the palm of my hand? "There are dark times ahead…you must make the choice, a choice that will haunt you forever…I wish you luck with your future." She lets my hand go, and it swings lifelessly from her grasp.

"What do you mean?" I whisper.

"You will find out, these times are not too far away." She turns and disappears through a door, leaving me alone in the shop. I run out of the shop and up the street, trying to get away from that spooky old woman. I run around the square and into the tailor's shop, gasping for breath. There were lots of women there, and they all turned to stare at me. I blush and look at my feet. I hear the whispers all around me.

"Is that Katniss Everdeen?"

"What has she been doing, she looks like she's run 5 miles!"

"I love her hair." I shut my eyes and try to shut them out until I feel a hand on my shoulder. It's Mrs Cooper, the wife of the Tailor.

"C'mon honey let's get you into the dressing room, you can have a bit of peace in there." She wraps an arm around my shoulder and gently steers me around the counter. She helps me sit on a stool and she kneels down beside me in the tiny private dressing room.

"Thanks," I whisper ashamed. "It was just too much…I couldn't…" I start to panic, my breathing becomes more rapid and tears begin to fall from my cheeks.

"It's okay," Mrs Cooper soothes. "You've been through a lot."

"Mum!" a loud voice yells. "Can you give me some money so I can go to the bakery? Apparently, Peeta Mellark is working there today!" She pulls the curtain open and sees me there with her mother. Her mouth drops open in shock. I glare at her.

"Katniss Everdeen? Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean," I stand up and push past her rudely.

"No need," I snap. "Thank you for your help Mrs Cooper," I say in a softer tone. Mrs Cooper stands up and smoothes down her dress.

"It's no problem Katniss. Was there something you wanted?"

"Not really. Only a bolt of white cotton and some bandages but it doesn't matter, I can get them another day." Mrs Cooper frowns.

"Nonsense! I'll get them for you right away. Follow me." I follow her back round to the counter and wait for her to cut what I need. I can feel the stares burning into my back but right now, I can't bring myself to care. I'm fuming. I'm pissed that I showed weakness, by breaking down in public and having a complete stranger take care of me. I'm annoyed because her stupid daughter wanted to see _my _Peeta! Wait, that's strange. He's not my Peeta. However, I can't deny the feeling that flared up inside me when she mentioned his name. Angrily, I pushed the thought away and focused on Mrs Cooper folding the material. I willed her to hurry up. It seemed to take forever until she finally handed me a parcel. I slammed coins down on the counter not caring how many there were, and ran out of the shop clutching the parcel in my arms. I ran up the street, dodging all the people who just stood and stared past the Justice building and into the Seam neighbourhood. As soon as I passed the invisable boundary between Seam and Merchant, I felt like I was home, like I could finally breathe. In the Seam, I felt like I didn't have to pretend, or stand out, I was just me, Katniss Everdeen. Here I didn't have to stand out, because I looked the same as everyone else. No-one stared at me as I wandered the grimy streets of the Seam. I finally arrived at the Hawthorne's house and I knocked on the door. A few seconds later, Hazelle opened the door.

"Katniss," She breathed. She opened her arms and I ran into them. We stayed like that for a few minutes just hugging on the doorstep. Eventually we broke away.

"Come in, come in!" I have never been so relieved to enter their tiny house. The Hawthorne's may not have much but Hazelle keeps it spotless. I sit at the kitchen table, the one Gale's and my father carved together. Hazelle pours a cup of tea, and I drink it gratefully.

"How have you been?" I ask.

"Oh, we've been just fine honey. Gale's had to hunt more than normal to keep us supplied but we've been okay. Everyone here was rooting for you in the Games; I can't even begin to say how proud we are of you."

"Thank you Hazelle. It means a lot." We talked for a few hours then I noticed how late it was getting.

"I'd better go. Gale will be getting in from the mines soon and I…" I trailed off, feeling awkward. As much as Hazelle was like a second mother to me, I wasn't quite ready to forgive Gale yet; it was too much to deal with too soon.

"It's okay, Sweetie, come back whenever you want, you know you're always welcome." She stands up and shows me out. I smile and wave, feeling happier than I have all day. I wander the streets, not prepared to head back to Victor's Village just yet. A few minutes later, I find myself outside my old house. I push open the ancient door and let familiar surroundings comfort me. I step inside the living room and kitchen, the happiness at returning home made me feel so free, so happy. This house is nowhere like my new one, yet this one is happier, has more love surrounding it. I can feel my father's presence everywhere. It makes me feel loved. I sit down on the threadbare chair, relaxing into the hard chair. Suddenly, I feel extremely tired. I haven't had a decent night's sleep since Peeta slept over…God I have to stop thinking about that. But I can't help it. The thought of his warm arms surrounding me, his smell just fills me with comfort and peace. I can't help but drift off to sleep…

**Author's Note: So that's the latest chapter! Hope you enjoyed it. Just letting you guys know, I'm now a registered beta so if you would like, I am happy to read your story. I read pretty much everything but if you want to know more, please read my beta preferences page. I know that this chapter wasn't action-packed but I promise that the next few chapters will be! Please leave a review because I love them and they help my writing so much! Love to you all,**

**Meljenney21 xxx**


	14. Retributions

**Author's Note: Hiya. How are you guys? Hope you are all okay. I thought I'd update since it feels like forever! I know I say it loads, but I've had so many lovely reviews lately, I feel so happy that anyone would take the time to read this story, let alone review! So thankyou…from the bottom of my heart. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Hunger Games. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

_I can't help but drift off to sleep…_

Chapter 14

_I'm running through the forest. I have to find her, to know if she's alive. Every so often, I stop and whistle, praying I will hear the mockingjays sing her reply. Yet I hear nothing. There is no birdsong, no rustle of leaves, no gunshots. It is mysteriously silent. However, I keep going. I know I have to find her, make sure she's safe. Then I hear a deathly scream, loud and piercing. The sound goes straight through me and chills me to the bone. _

"_Katniss, help me!" She screams. I run faster, the blood pounding in my head in time with my racing heart. I rush into the clearing, and there she is, tied up in a net, squirming and wriggling desperately in an attempt to break free of the restraints that constrict tightly around her like a snake. She sees me and tries to sit up, wincing in pain as the rope tightens around her body._

"_Please, help me Katniss!" She shrieks. I grab my knife and rush over to her, attempting to cut the many ropes around her. She writhes in the net, trying to help, but it only tangles everything more, making it more difficult for me to cut her free._

"_Rue, lie still." I beg desperately. She stops moving, and become almost like a statue, she is so still. I continue to cut the ropes, and eventually she is free. I throw the heavy net off her and she sits up and flings her tiny arms around me, her tears splashing onto my jacket. I hold her ever tighter, feeling tears coming up into my own eyes. Rue…she is like my sister, I would do anything to protect her. Eventually, we break apart and stand up. I wipe away her tears with the hem of my shirt. I hear a sound behind her. I look up, just in time to see Gale shoot an arrow in our direction. I can't move, it's like I'm frozen. His arrow pierces her body, and lodges in her chest. Rue clutches her stomach, and falls to her knees._

"_No…" I whisper. Rue reaches up, tears running down her face and places her tiny hand on my chest. I clutch it desperately, holding it to me like a lifeline. I want to cry, but I can't. I just stare into her dark chestnut eyes, her beautiful eyes that are scrunched up and filled with pain. I want to say something, tell her it'll be okay, but the words won't come out. Then her eyes close, and her hand goes limp in mine. I lay it down gently, and stroke her shiny black hair. Then I stand up, and whistle her tune. I'm about to turn away when I remember Gale. He killed her. Within a second I have my quiver out, an arrow notched, ready to fire at him, but he just stands there, with a strange smirk on his face._

"_Go on then Catnip," He hisses. "Do you really want to kill me? Could you look into my eyes as I die, knowing you killed me? Could you live every day with my face haunting you, knowing it was your arrow that did it?" I gasp. He killed Rue, but he's right. I couldn't live with it._

"_Well, well, well, Miss Everdeen, it seems you're not as brave and courageous as you thought." A strange, menacing voice comes from the bushes. I whirl my head around trying to pinpoint the man's location, my arrow ready to fire._

"_Oh you don't want to do that." The voice says. "That would be very dangerous." Then he steps out of the forest. It's President Snow. He's dressed in a black suit, a perfect white rose in his lapel. His papery white hair blows in the summer breeze as he takes more steps towards Gale. When he reaches him, he places a hand on Gale's shoulder._

"_Well done my boy you did an excellent job!" He smiles, and it makes me feel sick. "However, we all know that it's not quite finished. Miss Everdeen here has caused far too much trouble for my liking. The girl on fire must die…painfully." He steps away from Gale cackling with laughter. Gale turns to him and nods._

"_Yes Sir. It would be my pleasure to hear her screams and make her beg for mercy at my feet." President Snow laughs even more._

"_Good. I look forward to her head gracing my wall." He smiles menacingly and turns away, disappearing into thin air. Gale begins a slow walk towards me._

"_Gale, stop!" I beg. He just smiles, and then slaps me across the face with such force; it knocks me to the ground. He continues to kick and beat me, until I feel pain everywhere and my skin is covered with black and blue marks. I pray for death, I want death; it would be easier than this torture. However, I know Gale would never make it that easy. I want to beg for my life, but I know that's what he wants, so I refuse to give him the glory. I'm starting to see black spots in my vision, and I know I'm about ten seconds away from passing out. I feel relief at this fact. Unconscious, I won't be able to feel his torture. Then he stops. The black spots fade away, and I become aware that I'm lying on the grass on my back, with Rue's dead body a few feet away. Gale leans over me, a smirk on his face._

"_Look at yourself Catnip. Not exactly the girl on fire now areyou?" He laughs. "However, I know I told the President that I'd give him your head, but before I do that, there's one more person who needs to see you before you die." He tugs at a long rope, that I hadn't noticed before, and a person come stumbling out the forest. It's Peeta. He is covered in dirt and bruises but he's still my Peeta._

"_Peeta!" I gasp and then wince in pain. _

"_Katniss!" He shouts. I try to move towards him, but I can't. My limbs are unable to move._

"_Peeta!" I cry again. Gale smiles evilly at our interaction._

"_Oh dear Catnip. Seems you won't be able to re-join lover boy. Isn't that just bittersweet? You're going to die together, but alone. Isn't that such a shame?" He laughs and turns away from me, starting to walk over to Peeta. _

"_If you dare harm him," I shout. "You'll have me to deal with!" Gale turns back and smiles._

"_Oh Catnip," he sighs, as if it really were a tragedy. "I'm counting on it." He runs over to Peeta grabbing the rope that binds him and pulling forcefully, causing Peeta to fall onto his knees. I scream his name and he looks at me, and I know what he's saying. That I should try to escape, that he'll take my punishment. He'll die for me. Somehow deep inside me, I find the strength to get up. Every step hurts but I focus on Peeta. He needs me. Gale continues to beat him, and he cries out with every hit. His pain hurts more than my own. When I've nearly reached them, Gale turns to face me. _

"_Good luck trying to save him!" He laughs then disappears. I reach over to Peeta, who's curled up on the floor. _

"_Peeta!" I sob, running my fingers through his blonde hair._

"_Katniss," He breathes, and then smiles. Then everything goes black…_

"Peeta!" I scream, bolting upright. I'm curled into the chair at my old house, and I leap off it in terror. Everything is pitch black; I can't see a thing. My breathing accelerates and I curl into a ball, sobbing. I realise I'm still screaming his name. Everything is too much, I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I'm going to die…

The front door crashes open and someone runs in. I daren't look. I prepare myself for the end, knowing that death has finally found me at last. I can only hope it'll bring me peace. Then a pair of strong arms wrap around me, and the scent of fresh bread and man envelops me. I want to unwrap myself but I'm stuck. I manage to open my eyes, and see Peeta's worried face staring down at me.

"Peeta!" I gasp, fresh tears pouring down my face.

"Katniss," He begins to speak but never finishes his sentence because I uncurl myself and pull him closer to me. He loses his balance and topples over so somehow we end up on the floor with me on my back and Peeta on top of me. We both laugh a little, then Peeta looks down and swallows at our intimate position. He looks about to back away but I wrap my arms around his neck and whisper,

"Stay." I pull him even closer so that his head rests upon my chest. I cry even more, and then gently stroke his hair. I don't know why I'm doing this, but I want him closer to me. My nightmare has made me realise just how much I need him, how important he is to me. We lie there for a few minutes before Peeta shifts uncomfortably.

"What's the matter?" I ask him softly. He sits up a little, a blush rising in his cheeks.

"My leg," He mutters, embarrassed. I sit up, so we are face to face.

"Does it hurt a lot?" I ask. He shakes his head, but he seems uncomfortable talking about it, so I drop the subject. "Why are you here?" I ask instead. His eyebrows raise, like he is shocked at my question.

"Haven't you seen the time Katniss? It's 1 AM! Everyone thinks you are missing, no-ones seen you for hours. When you went out this morning, and you weren't back at tea time, your mother was worried. She went looking for you, round all the shops, at the Hawthorne's but she hadn't seen you for hours. She went to Haymitch, and he came to me but we couldn't find you. There are a small group out now, looking for you. Gale offered to lead the group, since he knows you best." He said that, with a slight bitterness in his tone. It took me a few seconds to process this, and then Gale's face filled my mind. How he had been rude to Peeta, how he'd attacked me and then my nightmare filled my mind.

"Gale?" I whispered. "No…" I pulled myself away from Peeta. My breathing rose again, and I found my voice getting higher and higher.

"No!" I screamed, stumbling backwards. "You can't let him take me! I can't! Peeta please!" I screamed. He slowly came towards me.

"Katniss, what's wrong?"

"You can't let Gale take me!" I ran towards him and wrapped my arms tightly around him. "I won't go! Please, Peeta don't send me away! No he can't take me…" I sank to the floor crying again. Peeta dropped to his knees and cradled me softly.

"Katniss, what are you going on about? No-one's going to take you anywhere. You're safe. You're with me." He caught one of my shaking hands and placed it on his heart. "Feel that Katniss? That's my heartbeat. It's okay. Everything's okay. Just relax." He held my hand until my breathing started to return to normal.

"You're alive," I breathed. He chuckled softly.

"Yes, I am." He said slowly. "C'mon, we ought to be getting you home, and let everyone know you're safe."

"But I am home?" I said stupidly. Peeta smiled a little.

"Okay, let's get you back to Victor's Village." I stood up and dusted myself down, wiping away the remainder of my tears.

"How do I look?" I ask, trying to smooth my hair, but failing, so I pulled it out of the braid and let it hang loose down my back. The soft brown tresses curl over my shoulders, and I look up at Peeta, a slight smile on my face.

"You look…beautiful." Peeta says in a hushed voice. I blush at the compliment. I hold out my hand, and he looks a little shocked, but takes it. I smile, at the feeling of our hands joined together. I'd never known how nice it could feel, holding hands with a boy, but it's nice. Warm and soft and protecting. Hand in hand, Peeta and I make our way back to Victor's Village.

**Author's Note: There you go guys! Peeta made a return (Yay!) I know so many of you have been asking for Peeta, I'd no idea; it'd been 4 chapters since he last made his appearance! Anyway, he will definitely feature in loads of chapters coming, up since I have big plans for this story. Next chapter will be more Peeta and Gale conflict, as well as the return of Haymitch and Effie! I hope you liked what I did with President Snow, but he was an exaggeration as it was a nightmare. Also Gale is not really like that either, but he comes from the fact that he attacked Katniss, and his prominent jealousy, but they will make up soon and resolve this conflict (well, sort of). Anyway please remember to review, I'd love to know what you think will happen next and whether you liked this chapter.**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	15. Lost And Found

**Author's Note: Hello, how are you all? Thought I'd update early, I'm feeling very creative at the moment and I'm so in love with Katniss and Peeta that I just have to get it out of my head! Please remember to review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Hunger Games. It is the property of Suzanne Collins. I also don't own Give Me Strength. It belongs to Snow Patrol.**

_Hand in hand, Peeta and I make our way back to Victor's Village._

Chapter 15

We wandered through the silent shadowed streets, chatting quietly.

"So, why were you at your old house? Peeta asks curiously.

"Well, I don't feel at home in Victor's Village. It feels wrong. There, I have to be Katniss Everdeen, famous Victor of the Hunger Games. In the Seam, I'm just Katniss and no-one's that bothered. It makes me feel normal. Being at my old house, it reminds me of old times, when my father was still alive, when we were a normal happy family." I whisper. Peeta smiles a little and holds my hand tighter.

"I wish I'd had as happy a childhood as you did…my family was never loving as a family should be. My father was there for me, but he was always slightly distant, and he worked all the time, just to keep a roof over our heads. My brothers teased me, they never understood me. They hated the bakery, and couldn't wait to leave. They were far more interested in the merchant girls than the family business. However, despite my mother's beatings and abuse, I still loved the bakery. I always hoped that the bakery would be mine, that one day I could proudly say I was the owner of Mellark's Bakery…" He trailed off, looking wistful. I looked up at him, his eyes far away, and a slight smile on his face.

"You could still do that, one day." I told him, but he shook his head, looking sad.

"As much as I want it to, it would never happen. How could I look after the bakery when I'm a Victor? Also, I don't think my mother would ever let it go to me. She hates me." I bite my lip as he says this. I want to reassure him, but that would be impossible. Everyone knows that the witch has a heart of stone, but how she could hate Peeta, her own son, is beyond me. We arrive in the town square, which is silent and deserted. It feels strange to walk through it. I'm so used to it being busy and filled with life. The gravel crunches under our feet as we walk, and I quicken my pace a little, wanting to get away from it all. After a few minutes, we arrive at the other side of the square, a few feet away of the road that leads back to Victor's Village. Peeta stops suddenly, staring at his home. The cracked stone steps that lead up to the shop, the perfectly polished window, a dim light shining above the old wooden door.

"Peeta?" I place a hand on his arm, turning myself round so we are standing face to face. His expression is stony, but his eyes show so much emotion that I drown in them. A tear rolls down his face, splashing onto the stone beneath us. I feel so helpless. It breaks my heart to see him like this; I just want to take away his pain. Impulsively, I wrap my arms around his shoulders, and bury my face in his strong chest.

"Everything will be okay." I whisper softly. His arms wrap tightly around me, soft but strong, warm and protecting. I feel a few tears drop onto my hair, and a few of my own escape. I will not let him suffer alone. After a few minutes, we break away and he wipes away my tears with his thumb.

"Don't cry for me Katniss. I'm not worth it." He says. I stare at him incredulously. How could he even think that? Does he truly believe that I think so little of him?

"Yes you are," I tell him firmly, willing him to believe me. "You are worth so much, more than you think." He smiles a little, but it doesn't reach his eyes. He doesn't believe me. It makes me wonder what kind of torture his mother put him through for him to have such low self-esteem. I'm about to tell him more, when he says suddenly,

"We really should get back. Everyone must be going out of their minds with worry." He steps briskly away from the bakery and starts up the road while I'm still stood there, wondering what the hell just happened. A few seconds later, I run after him, my racing footsteps loud in the silent night. I link my hand with his and he squeezes it gently. It eases my mind a little. He's not angry with me. I was worried that when he walked away it meant that I'd done something wrong.

"I'm sorry." He says sadly. "I shouldn't have walked off like that. It wasn't your fault." His thumb stroking my hand softly. I let out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding.

"It's okay." I reply. "Don't worry about it." We walk through the entrance to Victor's Village, which is as silent as ever. We walk up to my house, which has all the lights on and seems alight with activity. Peeta's house stands next to it, silent and oppressing. We walk up the steps, the breeze blowing my hair back gently. We open the door and go into the hallway, blinking in the bright light. Prim comes running out from the kitchen and shouts happily.

"Katniss!" She runs to me and attaches herself to Peeta and I and we somehow end up in a group hug, the three of us holding each other tightly. With my free hand, I stroke Prim's

golden hair.

"It's okay. I'm back now." My mother comes out the kitchen.

"Primrose, what's going on?" She sees the three and gasps. "They're back, they're back!" She gabbles and rushes forward, joining the hug. We eventually break apart, Prim still hugging my mother's waist, Peeta and I still with joined hands. My mother starts sobbing, pulling a lace handkerchief out of her blouse pocket and dabbing her eyes.

"Katniss, we were so worried!" My mother chokes out. "We thought something terrible had happened! Where were you, we searched everywhere!" I stepped closer to my mother, wrapping my free hand around her shoulders.

"After I went to see Hazelle, I wandered round the Seam for a bit until I found our old house. I went inside, just for a few seconds, but I ended up falling asleep on the chair. I'd had a nightmare and started screaming. When I woke up, Peeta had found me and calmed me. We talked for a bit then came back, that's all." Peeta stepped forward.

"Yes, we would have been back sooner, but we were talking. I'm sorry Mrs Everdeen." My mother looked up and smiled.

"It's quite alright Peeta. I'm just glad you found her." She hugged him tightly. "Thank-you." She whispered. She stepped away and looked round at us all. "Come on, let's have a cup of tea and calm ourselves down. I think we need it after such a long night!" So we followed my mother into the kitchen, and she walked over to the stove and began to heat some water. I looked around the rest of the room, surprised by how many people were there. Gathered around the kitchen table many people were sitting, talking quietly. They looked up when we came in and the room fell silent at our entrance. Haymitch stood up first.

"Well Sweetheart, you've lead us all a merry dance. I'm glad you're back though." He said with sincerity. I smiled.

"Thanks Haymitch. I'm sorry for all the trouble you've all gone to tonight." I said, addressing the room now. "I really appreciate it." There were about six men seated around the table, including Haymitch. I looked around. Thom, Gale's best friend but he had been a good friend to us too. He often bought the goats cheese Prim sold, and I always saved some of my game to sell to his family. He nodded to me in recognition.

"It's good to see you Katniss." I smiled in reply. The other three men I didn't recognise, I figured they must be some of Thom's friends from the mines. The last man had been staring at the table, but as soon as he stood up, I knew who it was. Gale. My nightmare instantly flashed through my mind. That's not him, I reminded myself. However, I was still shaking a little, and I brought myself closer to Peeta, holding his hand tighter, my palm sweaty. Gale looked down at our linked hands and he took a deep breath, his nostrils flaring in anger. He looked about to yell, but he stopped and his shoulders dropped in despair.

"Well we should probably get going." He muttered, turning to the other men seated at the table. Thom started to say something but Gale glared at them and they got up, pulling on their tattered coats.

"Don't you want to stay?" My mother asked politely. "You must be hungry. I could fix you something to eat. Thom and the others looked up in appreciation, nodding quickly.

"Yes please ma'am. That would be…" One of the miners started to say, but when he saw Gales glare focused on him, he backtracked quickly.

"Well, it's getting late. My missus will be wondering where I am." My mother looked slightly disappointed, but she grabbed a few boxes and rifled through the pantry, filling the boxes with food. She poured hot tea into a few flasks, and handed them round.

"Well, if you won't stay, please take this. It'll make me feel better." The men held the boxes and flasks tightly. I could tell they were warring with the prospect of having food, and the fact that they didn't like charity.

"Really, we can't accept this."

"It's too much."

"Thanks for the offer though." They were about to hand the boxes back to my mother but Peeta interrupted.

"Please, take the food. I know Mrs Everdeen wants you to have it. If you won't take it for yourself, then take it for your families. You said you had a wife Sir," he said, addressing the man who had spoken earlier. "Wouldn't she be surprised to have good fresh food?" The man looked pensive for a second.

"Well, that she would." He murmured. "My Sally would love this. It'd be good for the baby too. Thankyou ma'am, Mr Mellark." He nodded, shaking both my mother's and Peeta's hand. Peeta smiled, obviously pleased that they were going to accept the food.

"Please, call me Peeta. Mr Mellark is my father's name." He laughed. The man did too.

"I'm Ash. Pleased to meet you Peeta." Peeta smiles, about to reply but Gale says loudly.

"Yes, yes now let's go!" He snaps, marching out the door. Thom, Ash and the other men tip their hats to my mother and Peeta then leave. The door slams loudly. My mother pours some tea for Prim, Peeta and I, then hands one out to Haymitch.

"Would you like to join us Mr Abernathy?" Haymitch shakes his head, almost snorting out loud after being called Mr Abernathy. I must admit, it's strange to hear him called that.

"It's just Haymitch," He said gruffly. "Nah thanks, I got a bottle of liquor sitting on my table with my name on it. See ya tomorrow kids." He steps out of the room. Through the kitchen window I watch him trudge up the street back to his empty desolate house. We all sit at the kitchen table and sip quietly, enjoying the peace of each other's company. It's nice. Strangely, I feel at home. I've never felt like this before in this house. After drinking his tea, Peeta stands up to leave. Something grips at my heart, filling me with sadness. I don't want him to leave. The thought of him all alone in that dark and lonely house fills me with sadness. I want to ask him to stay, but I can't get the words out. However, my mother seems to read my mind.

"Peeta, you can't possibly go back now. It's 2:30 AM. It's nonsense for you to go outside, even if you are only going next door. You must sleep here. I'll go and make up the guest room. She bustles out of the room. Prim slumps in her wooden chair, her eyes dropping sleepily, her head resting on the hard wood of the table. Peeta stands up and starts to walk around the table towards her.

"What are you doing?" I whisper. "Don't you dare wake her up!" He chuckles quietly, scooping up a sleeping Prim into his arms. She nuzzles her face into his chest, murmuring softly.

"Shh, it's okay Prim, go back to sleep." Peeta says softly. He cradles her in his arms like

you would a baby, then walks up the stairs. I follow him, showing him where her room is. Prim's room is beautiful. The walls painted a soft cream, everything in perfect order, it's so Prim. Peeta gently lays her down on the soft bed and I cover her body with a light pink duvet. She looks like an angel, curled up in the bed, peaceful in her slumber. She stirs and wakes up a little.

"Katniss?" She asks sleepily.

"I'm here Prim." I reply softly.

"Will you sing for me?" She asks. I think about what I could sing, running through all the songs in my head until I find the most perfect one. Slowly, I begin the song.

_I choked back tears today,_

_Cause I can't begin to say,_

_How much you've shaped this girl,_

_These last ten years or more._

_My friends we've seen it all,_

_Triumphs to drunken falls._

_Our bones are broken still,_

_But our hearts are joined until,_

_Time slips its tired hands,_

_Into our tired hands._

_We've years till that day,_

_There's so much more to say._

_You give the strength to me,_

_The strength I've never had._

_I was a mess you see,_

_I'd lost the plot so bad._

_You dragged me up and out, _

_Out of the darkest place._

_There's not a single doubt_

_When I can see your faces._

_My friends we've seen it all,_

_When it made no sense at all._

_You dare to light my path,_

_And found the beauty in the aftermath._

_Let me hold you up,_

_Like you held me up,_

_It's too long to never say this,_

_You must know I've always thought…_

_You give the strength to me,_

_A strength I've never had._

_I was a mess you see,_

_I'd lost the plot so bad._

_You dragged me up and out,_

_Out of the darkest place._

_There's not a single doubt,_

_When I can see your faces._

I finish the song, smiling a little. I'd forgotten just how much I'd loved singing that one. I'd heard my father sing it to my mother on one of their anniversaries, and I'd begged him to teach me it the next day.

"_This song is very special Kitkat. When you sing this, you should sing it to someone who means the world to you. This song will make that person realise just how much they mean to you."_ I look down at Prim's smiling face, fast asleep now. I stand up and turn around. Peeta is watching me, a huge smile on his face.

"I'd never thought I'd hear you sing again…" He whispers reverently. "You have the voice of an angel Katniss." I blush and look down at my feet. I'm glad Peeta heard me sing that song. I realise that the lyrics apply to Peeta as well as Prim. He was my hope in the games, my dandelion in the spring…I'm brought out of my musing by my mother.

"Is Primrose asleep?" She asks. Peeta and I nod, and then we tiptoe out of the room, shutting the door behind us. "You two had better be going to bed too, you both look exhausted." She leads us down the hallway. "Peeta, this will be your room for tonight. It's all ready for you. Katniss, you obviously know your room is around the corner." She laughed a little then kissed me on the cheek. "Goodnight Katniss, I hope you sleep well Peeta." She walks off down the corridor, heading into her own room. I wait for the click of the door before I speak.

"Goodnight Peeta." I wait for his reply but I don't get one. Instead he leans down and kisses me on the cheek. I feel his soft lips against my skin, the whisper of his voice in my ear.

"Sweet dreams Katniss." His voice makes me weak at the knees. I feel my heart pounding in my chest, my cheeks turning red. Then he is gone and the door in front of me is closed. I stand there for a few seconds, not quite in control of my body. When I return to normal, I walk briskly down the corridor. What just happened? I go into my own room, telling myself not to think about it. Quickly I change into a grey vest top and white bottoms with grey flowers on. They are extremely soft and comfortable. I brush my hair so it floats around me in a shiny chestnut cloud. I turn off the lights and settle down to sleep. However, it evades me, like usual. I keep thinking about Peeta. How that kiss on the cheek made me feel, the conversations we'd shared today, but most of all what happened at my house in the Seam. How we'd tumbled to the floor, how I was on my back, staring up into his eyes. He'd swallowed when he saw the way we were laying, like he was nervous, but there was something else there. I'd felt it too. It'd sparked a fire deep inside my heart, the flames burning through my body.It was something I'd felt only once before, in the cave. I didn't normally think about the Hunger Games, but I did think about that kiss. The kiss that made me feel alive. I tried to keep out my thoughts, but it was nearly impossible. All these memories, feelings flowed through my mind. I groaned out loud in frustration, throwing a pillow over my eyes in an attempt to block out the images. I realise that lying in bed was not going to help anything, so I got out of the bed and paced around my bedroom, trying to think of anything but Peeta. I looked out of the window, I tried to read some books, and I even stared at my lamp watching the glowing bubbles floating up and down in the liquid. Nothing worked. Perhaps a cool glass of water would help. I exited my bedroom, creeping down the hallway. As I stepped on a creaky floorboard, I cursed myself. Now I'd wake everyone up! I waited a minute, but heard nothing, so I carried on round the corner. I was about to pass Peeta's door, but I heard a noise. It was the sound like a wounded animal would make. I paused to listen a minute. Then I heard his voice. It was quiet and full of pain, but I heard it.

"No…leave her alone…kill me instead!" I was just about to go in when I heard him shouting my name. I ran in, Peeta was lying on the bed, rolling around, his arms twitching. I jumped onto the bed, and shook him.

"Peeta wake up. You're having a nightmare!" Still he didn't stir. I wrapped him up in my arms, trying to rouse him. His face was taut, his eyelids twitching rapidly, his mouth moving but no sounds came out.

"Peeta please wake up!" I nearly shouted, hoping I wouldn't wake my mother or Prim. Suddenly, his eyes flew open, and he jerked upwards, knocking me backwards. I flung out my hand in an attempt to steady myself but I was too late. I tumbled off the bed, my body hitting the desk nearby. I cried out in pain, lying on the carpeted floor, trying to get breath to return to my body. Peeta leaned over the bed and saw me lying on the floor.

"Shit! I'm so sorry, I swear I didn't…. are you okay?" He asked.

"No I'm not!" I replied grumpily. "You knocked me off the bed, I hit the desk and it fucking hurts!" I whined. Peeta leaned over more and gathered me up, placing me on the bed.

"I'm really sorry Katniss." He said quietly.

"I know." I replied. "I'll get you back one day." Peeta's expression was priceless, he looked horrified.

"I hope not!" He chuckled. "I can only imagine what you'd do to me!"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I replied, deciding to tease him. "Maybe I'd capture you, hide you away somewhere, and leave you tied up in a tree." Peeta thinks about this for a second.

"I don't know if that's a punishment really Katniss. I quite like the idea of being alone with you, tied to a tree." I gasp in mock horror.

"Peeta Mellark!" He laughed at my expression.

"Just kidding. Not saying it wouldn't be nice though." He said a little wistfully. I playfully slapped him on the arm, but instead of getting me back, he tickled me. It was surprisingly easy, since I was only wearing a vest top. His fingers just brushing past my stomach and sides made me burst into a fit of laughter. After a few minutes I begged him to stop, and was exhausted. I flopped down onto his pillows, closing my eyes for just a second. I heard Peeta ask me something, but I didn't hear it. I was too far gone. I felt the sleep closing over me, and I drifted off into a perfect, dreamless sleep.

**Author's Note: There you go guys! That was the fifteenth chapter…wow that feels weird to type. I'd no idea that it would ever go this far. Hope you liked it. I know I promised Effie, but I always write way more than I need to. She will be in the next chapter, I promise you. The next chapter will be about the first parcel day, and the start of the filming! How exciting lol. Please leave a review!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	16. Victor's Duties

**Author's Note: Hi! It feels like it's been ages since I last wrote a chapter, so this one is for you guys. Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Hunger Games. It is the property of Suzanne Collins.**

_I felt the sleep closing over me, and I drifted off into a perfect dreamless sleep._

Chapter 16

"Katniss Everdeen!" I sit up in shock, only to see my mother standing in the open doorway, her hand on her heart, her mouth wide open with shock.

"Mother! I…" I trail off, at a loss for what to say. Peeta stirs beside me and sits up slowly, raking a hand through his tousled blonde hair. His eyes widen as he takes in the situation. My cheeks flush scarlet and I look down in pure embarrassment. I can't believe that my mother thinks that I…that we…I can barely even think the word.

"Katniss," My mother chokes out. "I suggest you get dressed, come down for breakfast before the camera crew get here." She then leaves, shutting the door behind her. Camera crew? Oh no. Today is the first of August, parcel day. It's also the first day of filming. I groan in horror. My week of freedom is over. I can't believe this. Then I think about the rest of her comment. I look down again and notice my vest top straps have slid down my shoulders and my top has ridden down, exposing the top of my chest. My eyes widen in horror. This makes the situation that much worse. I feel a hand under my chin pulling my face up. Peeta is looking at me with concern in his eyes.

"What's the matter?" He asks gently. I turn my eyes away from his face. I can't look into his eyes; the eyes that make my heart melt, the eyes that make me speak the truth.

"I should go." I murmur, throwing back the covers and hurriedly escaping the warmth of the bed. I'm about to flee the room when Peeta stands and blocks my exit.

"Katniss, don't go. I'm tired of you running from me when all I want to do is be your friend! Please, talk to me."

"Fine!" I say crossly. "I was embarrassed because my mother saw us in bed together. I'm embarrassed because my mother thinks, well God knows what she thinks! The cameras are coming today, and today of all days, I don't want to deal with this crap!" Peeta's face falls and his eyes fill with sadness.

"Is that what you think of me?" He asks miserably.

"No!" I almost shout in my earnest, desperate for him to realise that wasn't what I meant. "No, what I meant was that I can't be bothered to deal with my mother fussing around me, after seeing me this morning she will most certainly be hovering over me." Peeta smiles a little at this, relief shining clear in his face.

"Well then, perhaps I'd better let you get ready." He opens the door with a flourish and bows low, then suddenly standing smartly, his broad shoulders back, his high cheekbones curved up into a charming smile. "After you, my lady." I can't help but smile, stepping forward and quietly shutting the door behind me. I almost run to my bedroom in my haste, quickly dressing in black trousers and a maroon shirt. I run a brush through my tangled locks, wincing every time about I rip through a knot. I then braid it, checking my appearance before I go downstairs. I enter the kitchen to find it busy and full of life. My mother bustles around the stove, preparing breakfast and a large pot of tea. Prim is pouring Buttercup some food, singing the song I sung to her last night. Her voice is high and sweet, a true delight to hear. Peeta is sat at the table, still in yesterday's crumpled clothes. He looks up and sees me standing in the doorway awkwardly then smiles widely, showing his brilliant white teeth.

"Katniss! Come and have some breakfast, your mother's cooking…it's to die for!" Prim looks up and runs over to me, hugging me tightly. Buttercup hisses menacingly at me, angered that Prim is focusing her attention on me rather than him. The cat lets out a feeble cry, making Prim instantly leave my arms and rush over to Buttercup, scooping the thing into her arms and cradling it like a child. I sit at the table next to Peeta and my mother piles a huge plate of food in front of me, her cheeks flushed red from cooking.

"Good morning Katniss!" she almost sings, nearly dancing round the kitchen with a huge smile on her face. I stare at her in shock. Does she realize what day it is today? She appears to take no notice of my pointed stare and continues prancing around. Peeta watches amused but he has a hint of sadness in his eyes, I guess this 'cosy family' scene only reminds him about his terror-filled and abusive childhood. I lay a hand on his arm, not wanting him to be upset. Today he needs to focus. Today he needs to be prepared. Today is not a day to make mistakes. Soon breakfast is finished and I lean back in my chair gently rubbing my stomach in content. Peeta's right. That was delicious. Prim bounces up from her chair, offering to help mother clear away the table, but she refuses. That's strange, normally she accepts offers of help.

"No," She smiles at Prim tenderly, stroking her not yet brushed flaxen hair. "I'm sure Katniss would like to help, wouldn't you Katniss?" She fixes a glare my way so I'm forced to reply.

"Yes Prim, I would like to help. Why don't you go and see if Lady needs milking?" Prim's tiny mouth opens in shock.

"Of course, I'd nearly forgotten!" With that, she runs anxiously out of the back door, Buttercup at her heels. I turn back to my mother to find her still staring at me. Peeta looks between us sensing the tension in the room and clears his throat awkwardly.

"Well, I guess I'd better be off. Gotta clean myself up for the cameras." He stands up and walks over to my mother, pressing her hand into his. "Thank you so much for having me last night Mrs Everdeen. I really appreciate it." My mother finally takes her eyes of me and looks at Peeta. She smiles at him.

"It was no trouble Peeta. It was a pleasure to have you." He then steps away from her and goes out into the hallway. I follow him into the hallway and watch him pull on his shoes. As he ties the laces, I can't help but notice he double-knots them, his large but graceful hands twirling around the laces.

"I'll see you soon." He promises, a glum expression on his face. I know how he feels. I smile sadly, laying a hand on his shoulder. He understands what I'm trying to say. I hate saying good-bye anymore. It seems too real, too terrifying a future that I can hardly bear to think of it, so I refuse to say the words out loud. He steps out the door, and the front door clicks shut. I can hear his heavy footsteps stomping down the stone steps. I turn away from the front door and head back into the kitchen. My mother still stands there, a conflicted emotion playing across her worn features.

"Sit down Katniss." I gingerly take a seat on the wooden chairs. My mother sits down opposite me, quiet, calm, collected. The silence drags on and after a while I can't bear it anymore.

"Mother, what's going on?" Surely, she won't want to waste time. Prim won't be outside much longer with Lady.

"Katniss, well, I just wanted to talk to you about this morning." My face flushes bright red, mortified. My mother takes that as a sign that I am definitely guilty. "I understand that you are getting older, and as you rightfully pointed out the other day, you are sixteen, and old enough to make your own decisions. However, you are not an adult, and you are still very naive in the ways of…love and relationships." She pauses delicately. "Now, Peeta is a very nice boy, but you are both far too young to make any life-changing decisions. All I'm trying to say is that, if you are going to be…intimate…then I want you to be safe." My eyes widen in horror. I can't believe that my mother is trying to have 'the talk' with me! Not that I know anything anyway, but the principle of it is so humiliating, so embarrassing that I can't cope with this right now. I'm trying to figure out this how to reply when the doorbell rings shrilly. I jump up relieved. I sigh happily, the figure out who must be ringing the doorbell. The cameras are here. Quickly, I rush out into the hallway.

"Katniss, this conversation isn't over!" My mother calls from the kitchen, as the chair scrapes across the kitchen floor. I hear the tap running, then the sound of cupboards opening and shutting. I'm just about to open the door when it flings open, nearly hitting me in the face.

"Katniss, darling!" Effie burbles, stepping through the front door and flinging her arms around me. "It's so good to see you again!" I fake a smile, pretending that I am happy to see everyone again. Well, I am a little happy to see Effie, but that's only because I appreciate what she did to help me and Peeta in the Games. After a short hug and kisses on the cheek, she fully steps through the carpeted hallway, never once wobbling on her sky-high strappy silver shoes. Then my prep team arrive, almost bubbling over with excitement. I am enveloped in an ocean of happiness and enthusiasm and it makes me sad that I am so miserable on a day when everyone else seems to be celebrating. After hugging all six members of mine and Peeta's prep team, Haymitch skulks through the door, looking about a hundred times worse than I feel. His hair is sticking up all over the place like he has been dragged through a hedge backwords, and his bleary bloodshot eyes glare at everyone in the room. Effie gives him a prod in the back with her pointy pink pen to give him a silent warning. My mother enters the hallway, and shepherds everyone to the living room to discuss the schedule for the day. After a while once everyone is finally settled down, Peeta rushes in apologising, saying he'd only just seen the cars outside and figured that we were here. This makes everyone get up again, and the squealing and gushes resume. Effie eventually gets snappy at everyone stating that we are already six days late on schedule, and that we shouldn't waste any more time. This shuts everyone up instantly. No-one wants to deal with Effie when she is in one of her 'schedule-tantrums'. She gets up from her cosy armchair and totters over to the fireplace, so we can all see her.

"Now," She says smiling. "We can finally get down to business. Today's schedule is obviously very busy, and we all have our role to play. We would have started six days ago, but due to…an incident we were put very behind. Also, Katniss and Peeta, since you are the hottest thing in the Capitol right now, we've decided to extend the filming for a month, so the filming will wrap up on the next parcel day. Isn't that just brilliant?" She beams at us, showing off extremely white teeth. I smile awkwardly, but inside I'm dying. Why? There is absolutely no point to extending the filming! Effie keeps looking expectantly between us, so Peeta smiles warmly and says with fake enthusiasm,

"That sounds great Effie. I can't wait to get started!" I chime in at the end, pretending to show my support. Effie beams at us once more.

"I knew you'd say that!" She says pleasantly. "I'll explain more about the filming later but we really need to get a move on. The plan for the day is just to show you two receiving your new houses…"

"But, we've already moved in?" I say confused. Effie just stares at me like I'm the stupidest person in Panem.

"Precisely Katniss, but Capitolites won't know that! With the format we are taking for the filming, it will fit perfectly. So before I was so _rudely _interrupted," She turns to me and glares a little before straightening up into a smile. "We will film Katniss and Peeta receiving their new houses along with their family and then we will head down to the train station to hand out the parcels to the citizens. Now, prep teams, your job is to make this horror," she says pointing at me. I frown a little. I was only prepped a week ago, surely I've not got that bad? "Look absolutely beautiful and camera ready. Same goes for Peeta. Mrs Everdeen and Primrose, you will need to be prepped by someone at some point so you are ready to film the reunion. Haymitch…just try not to get too intoxicated in the next hour. Once filming is over for today you can drink yourself into oblivion for all I care but for the next few hours you need to stay stone-cold sober. Do you think you can do that?" She pointedly stares at Haymitch, almost willing him into her submission. It works. He sighs deeply in resignation.

"Yeah, fuck it. Whatever." Effie gasps at him, shocked.

"Haymitch Abernathy! Where are your manners?" She sniffed disgustedly. "Down a bottle of liquor probably. Now, let's get ready. You've got one hour, starting now." As soon as she finishes, there is a flurry of activity. Haymitch, Peeta, my mother, Prim and I are herded out of the house by our prep teams. The roundabout in the middle of Victors Village is surrounded by black cars. Around them, the Capitol team flit around, testing camera equipment, lugging large cases out onto the road, or furiously writing down something in their large notebooks. We are taken into Peeta's house. I want to look around and see if it's exactly like mine but I don't get the chance. We are taken upstairs so that we can be prepped. Prim and my mother are sat in a completely different room, and are told to wait and someone will prep them and teach them how to behave on the camera. Peeta's team pushes him through the next room excitedly. The door clicks firmly shut. I enter the one next to it and blush a little. This is clearly Peeta's bedroom, as the covers are rumpled and there are a few clothes on the floor. Venia studies the room for a second appreciatively.

"Yes this will do perfectly. Now hurry!" She tells Flavius and Octavia quickly as they rush around laying out their torture instruments commanded to make me beautiful. Venia walks over to me.

"Since we don't have a dressing table to work with, you'll have to lie on the bed." I blush even more but I do as she says. I lay in the middle of the bed, my head resting on his pillows surrounded by his scent. I turn my head a little and breathe in deeply. The scent of freshly baked bread and Peeta fill my head. It keeps me calm and relaxed. I close my eyes and let my prep team do what they do best; make me look like Katniss Everdeen, victor of the 74th annual Hunger Games. After a few minutes of silence I hear a girlish giggle.

"Has she gone to sleep Venia?" I hear Octavia ask. I would open my eyes, but I really can't be bothered.

"If she has, let her. She must be tired. Being a Victor is hard work you know Octavia." Venia replies knowingly.

"Oh yes!" Flavius joins in. "Getting all your hearts desires, every man and woman attracted to you, it must be so difficult!" He jokes. I fight the urge to roll my eyes at their stupidity. All my hearts desires indeed! Well, I suppose that's true in a material sense, but it comes at a price.

"Anyway, Katniss doesn't need everyone being attracted to her, she's got Peeta! How I wish I could be in love like that…it must be nice knowing that you have someone who loves you, no matter what." Octavia says sadly.

"Your time will come Octavia." Venia replies. "One day you'll know how it feels to be head-over-heels in love with someone, and then you'll be as happy as Katniss." Again I nearly roll my eyes. Happiness? Every day is a living hell. Well, not all of it, but the nights are pure hell. You have to be extremely lucky to get even a few nights of decent sleep. Silence falls upon the room again and after a few minutes, the things on my face are removed and someone shakes my shoulder gently.

"Katniss, wake up!" Flavius says. I sit up and stretch my arms, sighing.

"Flavius, Octavia, will you go and fetch today's outfit?" Venia asks politely and they trundle off down the stairs, still chattering non-stop. After a few seconds they return, holding a navy garment bag.

"Katniss, once you've done changing, knock on the door and we'll sort your hair out." Flavius says, and they all exit the room, leaving me alone. I unzip the garment bag and take out what's inside. I lay it on the bed and quickly take off my top and trousers, laying them on the bed. I look around the room and see a mirror directly across from me and I blush at the sight of myself in my underwear. It's only then I once again realise where I am. I'm pretty much naked…in his room. A tingly feeling washes over me, causing my skin to rise up in bumps. I try in vain to shake off the feeling but instead it becomes more and more powerful until my mind is a quivering mess filled only with thoughts of Peeta. A light knock on the door shocks some sense into me.

"Katniss, are you alright? Do you need any help?" Venia calls through the wooden door.

"No thanks, I'm fine!" I reply shakily. Anxious to get rid of my disturbing thoughts, I pull the dress over my head roughly, and slip my arms through the short sleeves. The prep team barge in and I turn to them, still shaking.

"Oh Katniss, you look so pretty!" Octavia exclaims. Flavius and Venia nod their agreement, but sit me on the edge of the bed, branding all sorts of brushes. As they style my hair, we chat amicably until they've finished. They push me over to mirror, no doubt wanting my approval. I'm wearing a high-necked cream dress that emphasises my olive skin. The dress is tailored to my waist, then flares out down to my knees. The dress is patterned with tiny butterflies, in colours of burgundy, teal and black. My hair waves gently over my shoulders, and a butterfly clip adorns my hair. My makeup is fairly natural, but my eyes are lined in black, ending with a tiny flick making my eyes look larger. Yet again, my prep team make me feel beautiful.

"We've got five minutes everyone!" Effie's voice calls from downstairs. My prep team head out first and I follow behind them. We head outside into the sunshine, where everyone else is waiting. My mother has on a new floral dress. It looks sweet and motherly, and her hair is curled to make her look younger. Prim is wearing a white top patterned with pink flowers paired with a pink skirt and flat shoes. She looks so adorable, I just want to scoop her up into my arms and hug her tight. Then Peeta steps forward, gazing at me in awe.

"Katniss, you look…stunning." He whispers. I blush at his compliment and duck my head embarrassed. Peeta's wearing a white t-shirt that clings to his form and tight beige trousers. Wow…I shake my head, not wanting to revert back to the state I was in a few minutes ago.

"Alright, alright we get the picture!" Haymitch drawls in a bored tone. "Peeta, stop staring at Sweetheart like she's the best thing since sliced bread. Sweetheart, stop ogling that boy like you want to rip off his clothes and fuck him in the street. We're not all frustrated teenagers you know!" My mother instantly puts her hands over Prim's ears and glares at Haymitch. She looks like she's about to say something but Effie beats her too it.

"Haymitch!" She almost screeches. "I cannot believe you'd even have the audacity to suggest such a thing!" Haymitch just smiles evilly.

"But look at them Effie! Can't you just feel it, rolling off them in waves?" He cackles, almost dying from laughter. Effie pouts a little, but doesn't say anything. What did Haymitch mean? Effie politely clears her throat.

"Well, anyway, we need to get filming, or the President will not be pleased. Let's get this show on the road!" she snaps her fingers, and the camera crew magically appear at her side. She issues a few commands and they scuttle away like insects on a mission.

"Are you ready?" Peeta asks quietly, looking at me for the first time since Haymitch spoke, holding out his hand for me to take.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I whisper in reply, taking his hand and linking my fingers in his.

**Author's Note: So that's the fifteenth chapter! I hope you enjoyed it, I know it's been a long time coming. As promised, the return of Effie and Haymitch. The filming will properly begin next chapter and maybe Gale will make an appearance! This chapter was filled with humour and angst, and a little Everlark, so I hope you liked it! Please remember to leave a review, they mean a lot! **

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	17. Torn Between Passion And Pride

**Author's Note: Hi everyone! I can't believe this story is now at chapter 17, it's amazing and I never expected to get that far, thank-you so much for all the support. Hope you enjoy the chapter and sorry for the long wait!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Hunger Games. It belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

"_As ready as I'll ever be." I whisper in reply, taking his hand and linking my fingers in his._

Chapter 17

We walk around the roundabout to the gates of Victor's Village, our hands still intertwined. Effie totters around with a clipboard, accompanied by a tiny man with jet black hair styled in spikes. He's wearing a neon green shirt patterned with black shapes, partially covered with a black velvet waistcoat. He'll certainly stand out in the District, I think to myself, trying to contain my laughter. I look over at Peeta, seeing he wears the same expression. Effie spots us and bursts into a huge smile, scurrying over to us, the tiny man in tow.

"Katniss, Peeta! I want you to meet Mr Lato Knightsbridge. He's in charge of filming. Now, you need to listen and follow his direction by the book. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes otherwise!" She lets out a high-pitched giggle. There's suddenly a crash from behind us. Effie's head whips round, her sky blue wig wobbling as she does.

"I'm ever so sorry, but would you excuse me a minute." She smiles once more, but I can see the anger bubbling behind her forced smile. She turns and walks smartly over to where the crash came from, then begins screeching at the camera crew. I watch her for a few seconds, an amused smirk curling up my lips, but then I focus my attention back to the man in front of me. I expect him to be bubbly and lively, like the prep-team, but to my surprise he seems almost bored.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance Mr Mellark, Miss Everdeen." He holds out his hand for us to shake. "Now, I have just one rule. Do what I tell you to, and never disagree with it. If you can manage that, we'll get along just fine. I've worked with plenty of Victors before; I've dealt with everything, from tantrums to arguments. So don't try to disagree." He smiles and walks off with tiny steps in his pointed shoes. Peeta and I stare at each other incredulously. I don't like him. He's like everyone else from the Capitol, a spoilt arrogant child.

"Katniss," Peeta warns me quietly. "Give the man a chance." I roll my eyes exasperated, and then walk over to where everyone is standing in a cluster a few feet away. Lato is stood on a large wooden box in an attempt to make him near everyone else's height. I once again try to contain my laughter.

"Now everybody, let's get down to business. All our Victors are prepped, sound is pitch perfect and cameras are ready to roll. Let's get this show on the road!" This is the only time since I've met him that he actually seems to possess any emotion. He hops off the box, snapping his fingers and all the crew distribute to their places chattering excitedly. Lato walks over to a young woman talking to one of the camera crew and places his hand on her arm tenderly.

"Cressie? Can you go and talk to Mr Mellark and Miss Everdeen and let them know what to do? I want the camera rolling in five minutes." Cressie nods and walks over to us. She looks a little older than us, with long blonde hair and a kind face but she wears a determined expression.

"Hi." She smiles when she reaches us. "All that's going to happen today is that you will both be driven up the road from town and it'll stop a few meters away from the gates. We want you to walk together, maybe talk about how excited you are to get your new house. Then when you are in the middle of your two houses, you'll need to say goodbye and then we'll film you individually walking to your houses and greeting your family. That sound okay?" We nod and she walks off but then I see Peeta's stricken face. Then it dawns on me. His family. As far as I'm aware, he hasn't seen them since he returned to District 12. I sniff. Good riddance to bad rubbish as far as I'm concerned. However, Peeta cares. All he's ever wanted is his family's acceptance, but his witch of a mother turned them all against him. I release my hand from his then quickly wrap my arms around him in a supportive hug.

"You can do this," I tell him quietly. "I believe in you." He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes. I can feel him slipping away from me for a second but then he focuses and looks at me, wiping a stray lock of hair away from my forehead.

"Thanks." He says in return. Then we break apart as one of the cars closest to the gate drives up right in front of us. Peeta opens the door for me and I clamber in awkwardly, trying to not display my underwear of the rest of the world to see. I sit down on the cool leather seats, breathing out a sigh of relief. Its a few minutes drive till we near the town then the driver turns the car around and starts slowly heading back up. I feel my body start to tremble and Peeta takes my hand in his and starts gently stroking my knuckles. Peeta. Peeta. Peeta. Focus on Peeta. However, try as I might, I can't fully stop shaking. The car crawls to a stop and we both fix a smile to our faces then Peeta gets out of the car holding out his hand to help me. I smile relieved that I won't have to lumber myself out of the car. Instead with his help, I manage to step out gracefully smoothing out my cream dress the second I'm out of the car. I take Peeta's arm, and together we stroll up the road, trying to ignore the camera crews that follow our every move.

"It's so nice to be home again." I sigh dreamily, trying to make my reactions seem believable.

"Yes it is, though the Capitol was amazing, there's nothing quite like being home again." Peeta replies, smiling down at me.

"I can't wait to see my mother and Prim, I've missed them so much!" I say softly.

"As I'm sure they have missed you," Peeta returns. "I know I'm happy to finally meet them at last. I've heard nothing but good things and I hope they will welcome me into open arms." With my other hand, I place it on his chest, my fingers curling into the soft material.

"They are going to love you." I tell him honestly. We arrive at the entrance of Victor's Village, walking underneath the ornate sign, the cameras trained on us. I force my natural reaction of dread into one of happiness. I can feel Peeta squeeze my arm; I can tell he is nervous as I am. Scared I'll do something wrong. Worried about whether my reactions are enough. Worried about how Peeta will react to seeing his family after what happened last time. I try desperately not to shudder at the memory. Finally, we reach the middle of our two houses. We stare into each other's eyes for a moment. I see his nervousness, his reluctance, his stress. I take his warm hands in my cold one, revelling in the warmth and comfort he brings.

"I don't want to leave you." I whisper passionately. And somehow this is true. I don't want to leave him alone with the witch he calls his mother.

"I don't want to leave you either. But somehow, I must. You must go to your family, where you belong, no matter how much I hope your place is by my side." He replies softly.

"Oh Peeta!" I attempt to look emotional and fling myself into his arms. "My place is by your side it always has been and it always will be!" We hug tightly for a second. For that one second, I can pretend that this is real, that I can stay in his arms forever but the demanding citizens in the Capitol determine that I can't.

"Good night Katniss." Peeta says sadly, lifting my hand and kissing it.

"Good night Peeta." I reply turning and walking up to the steps of my house. The door is flung open and my mother and Prim stand there, dressed in their new finery.

"Katniss," My mother breathes and rushes forward to hug me. I hold her for a few seconds but then stare past her. Prim comes forward and attaches herself to my waist and I stroke her hair trying not to get emotional again. Why am I acting like this? I think to myself. It's just us playing pretend. It's not real, I tell myself over and over again.

"And cut!" Lato shouts out. I jump, my heart almost leaping out of my chest. Prim loosens herself from my grasp and looks up at my through her eyelashes.

"Are you okay Katniss?" I nod my head mechanically.

"Yes I'm fine." I reply. I feel a hand on my shoulder and jump again.

"Katniss?" Peeta asks.

"I'm fine," I tell him. He smiles, but I can still see the lines carved in his forehead. Lato walks up to us an undisguisable emotion on his round face. "Well, Mr Mellark, Miss Everdeen, I must admit I didn't think you had it in you. You can act, fairly well it seems. I'm actually impressed." He says. Cressie appears at his side and he actually smiles a little.

"Did you get all the shots you need?" She asks.

"Yes, I did." He smiles. "And one day Cressie, you'll be taking over your old man and you'll be known as the best director in the Capitol!" Wait a minute. Cressie is Lato's daughter? No way… Cressie laughs a little.

"I hardly think so dad! No-one could ever forget your reputation." He smiles fondly.

"Well, thank you Cressie. Anyway let's move on to the train scene. Pack up everyone!"

We arrive at the train station; I feel my stomach turn in flips looking at the crowds that have already gathered. While the crew rush around setting up, Peeta and I stand away from the sights of the crowds and the reporters, chatting quietly.

"Are you holding up alright?" Peeta asks.

"I'm okay…" I reply slowly. "I'll manage." I'm just terrified of the crowds, I say silently. "How did it go with your family?" I ask to try and distract myself from my thoughts.

"It went as well as expected. My mother acted so loving on camera and not so nice afterwards. I expect she was just there to show off the family, rather than to support me." I sniff.

"Of course she wasn't there to support you!" I say crossly. "In her mind, she doesn't care, only that she gets to flaunt herself in front of Panem. I wish it was different, and she loved you like a mother should but she doesn't. I wish I could make it all better for you." I whisper, hating myself for hurting him. However, I'm not telling him something that he doesn't know, I'm just being blunt about it. Unfortunately, that's just who I am. He's about to reply when we are called to film again. Cressie once again explains everything and we take our places. Peeta and I stand in front of a crowded table filled with parcels of hope to hand out. We stand together, with his arm wrapped firmly round my waist and my head resting lightly against his chest, being careful not to destroy my hair that the prep team worked so hard on. I fix a winning smile on my face, preparing myself to see the people who I once knew so well, now strangers to me. I heard the shout to begin filming and made my smile so large my cheeks hurt. The first family stepped forward; it was obvious that they had been cleaned up for the filming. The man tipped his hat at the sight of seeing us, and the mother held her child's hand until she reached us.

"Say hello then Elsie!" She prompted gently. Peeta released me and squatted down even though I could tell it hurt him to do so. However, he softened his face quickly so they wouldn't see his pain. I lay a supportive hand on his shoulder to steady him. He smiles at me in reply then looks at the girl in front of him. Despite being prettied up for the camera, she's still unnaturally thin. Her arms are so tiny, her elbows like sharp points, her eyes too big for her thin face. Her hair is dark and braided. I stare in shock. This girl from the Seam, who looks so like I did when I lost my father, it's like staring in a mirror. When I went through that dark period, I could barely look myself in the mirror. I still don't like it.

"Hello Elsie." Peeta says quietly.

"Hello Mr Mellark!" The girl chimes in a happy voice.

"Call me Peeta," Peeta smiles at the girl. "Have you come to get a parcel?"

"Yes!" She beams excitedly. "Mummy says it'll be filled with lots of treats for me!"

"Well then, your mummy's right!" He stands up and grabs the nearest parcel, pausing a second to slip something inside it. He did it so quickly, I don't think anyone saw, but I did. He gave them money. I want to gasp but I force myself to keep my mouth shut. I suppose it's a good thing for the families, but suppose he's caught? What would happen then? The next thing I know, Peeta hands the parcel to Elsie and she flings her arms around his legs, still clutching at the parcel.

"Thank you!" She cries, putting her arms round me too. Tears fill my eyes. I squat down till I'm at her height, and then hug her tightly. She reminds me too much of myself that I feel nothing but sorrow for her.

"You'll be okay," I whisper in her ear. "I hope you enjoy your treats!" I say louder for the camera to hear. Then she pulls away, running to her parents, showing them the parcel, they smile and thank us, we smile in return then they are leaving and the next family steps up to greet us. Who knew…parcel day isn't that bad after all?

A few hours later, I'm exhausted. All I want is to go home and fling my aching body into bed. At least there are only a few families left in the line. My smile is so forced, and my eyes keep closing and all I want to do is sleep. The only thing keeping me going is Peeta. After three hours, he still has a genuine smile, still has a happy bouncy energy. He has bent down so many times that his leg must be killing him. But he doesn't show it. Everytime he gives a family a parcel I look at him worriedly. I don't know how much he is putting in there but I know it's a lot. Enough to last a family for a few weeks. I'm emotionally torn; grateful that he is trying to help the people, shocked he has the audacity to pull it off right in front of the Capitol, stressed out that he may be caught any second. Then as the next family steps up to receive the parcel, I stand up straight. It's Hazelle with all her children. Well, all expect one. I fight the urge to roll my eyes. Of course he wouldn't turn up.

"Katniss!" Posy shouts, rushing forward to hug me. My arms come around the little girl and I bury my face in her hair, smelling the familiar scents of wood smoke and cooking. I release her after a few seconds and straighten up, seeing the camera's trained on me out of the corner of my eye.

"Hello." I smile shyly at Hazelle, knowing she has every reason to hate me with all her being. But she is nothing but kind to me. She pulls me into a warm hug and nods hello to Peeta. He hands her the parcel and shakes her hand warmly. I can see they are about to step away from us and head home but I can't let them leave yet. I have to know if he's okay. I rush forward and hug Hazelle tightly, hiding my lips in her dark hair.

"How is he?" I whisper in a rush.

"He's okay," She replies. "He's out at the moment, hunting." I nod and she pulls back so as not to look suspicious in front of the cameras. "Well, it was lovely seeing you Katniss," She says loudly. "We've all missed ya!" The kids agree then wave to Peeta and I, walking away after their mother. I see Peeta watching me carefully and I take his hand, stroking the back of it with my thumb.

"Everything's okay." I tell him. We carry on for the last few families, then everything is over and we are left with an empty table and a cool summer breeze whipping our faces. Effie materialises in front of us, clutching her clipboard.

"Excellent job!" She beams. "Hurry now children, and let's get out of this horrible wind!" Two crew members guide us to the waiting car and we climb inside and it speeds off back to Victor's Village. When we arrive, we are hurried into my house to warm up. My mother makes another pot of tea and Peeta and I take it gratefully, pulling our chairs in front of the fire. I grip my mug in my icy hands, trying to summon up the courage to ask him about the parcels.

"It was really stupid of you to do that you know." I tell him calmly, taking a sip of my tea, trying to calm my nerves.

"What was stupid?" Peeta asks quietly, staring into my eyes, an innocent expression on his face.

"Putting money in the parcels." I say, lowering my voice to a whisper. Anyone could over-hear us, and who knows what kind of devices are in this house?

"What are you talking about?" Peeta says in a normal tone, his azure irises fixed on mine. They beg me to understand, to stay quiet about what I saw but I can't help but question him.

"You know what I'm talking about," I hiss. "I saw you slipping it in when you thought they wouldn't notice. Do you know how dangerous that was?" Peeta glares at me.

"Of course I knew! Do you think I'm stupid? I wasn't going to do it, I swear but seeing Elsie, that little girl that looked exactly like you- it took me back to that time in the rain. I couldn't stand by and do nothing!" He hisses back.

"You were doing something!" I tell him angrily. "Just by standing there with a genuine smile on your face, looking like you actually wanted to be there, that did more than any amount of money ever could!" He pauses, the angry retort dying before it leaves his lips.

"Do you wish I hadn't done it?" He asks.

"I only wish you hadn't done it because I want you safe. But it was a great thing you did. I'm proud of you." I say gently.

"Well, I'm proud of you too. You didn't want to be on camera or play a part for the Capitol but you did. I wish I had your strength." He says quietly.

"You have more strength in here than I ever will." I reply, laying a hand on his chest where his heart beats. I can feel it thumping under my palm and it gives me reassurance. Peeta looks down at me and we unconsciously edge closer to each other, so our foreheads rest against each other. I look down at his lips then back up to his pools of blue that I so easily drown in. The next thing I know, his hands are on my face, my fingers curl into his blonde locks on his neck and our lips are touching each other's. The kiss starts off sweet and innocent, just gentle brushes against each other but it quickly turns heated and passionate. I find myself in his lap, my legs locked round his hips. I feel nothing but pleasure, the magic that his kiss brings making my whole body tremble. I feel his hands move from my face, running down my back until they touch the smooth skin of my thighs. I jump a little. I've never been this close to him and I'm terrified but I won't make him stop. I don't want him to. We stay like this for an unmeasurable amount of time, until the need to breathe becomes too painful and we break apart, panting heavily. My eyes finally open to the dim light in the kitchen, the warm orange glow from the fire surrounding us. He smiles softly, his normally blue eyes dark and shining with desire. This jolts me back to reality. I step outside of my body for a minute and take in the scene around me. Two teenagers alone in a kitchen entwined around each other, panting for air, the air around them hot and thick with desire. I feel myself back in my body again, my skin suddenly cold. I look down at our position in shock. My cream dress has ridden up so far up my legs; I'm almost exposing my underwear. Peeta's hands still rest on my thighs and even now, the slight pressure still makes me tingle with excitement. I force myself to look at the reality of the situation.

"Katniss?" Peeta asks his voice husky and deep. It makes him sound so…sexy. I'd give anything to hear him like that again but I'm torn. My heart wants to continue where we left off but my head is trying to rationalize everything. I listen to the thing that's kept me alive all these years, my head. My heart only lets me down whereas my mind knows what's important. And right now, Peeta is not the most important thing. I jump off Peeta's lap, backing away until my back hits against the hard oak of the back door. Peeta stands up staring at me in confusion.

"Katniss, what's the matter? What's going on?" He asks. He takes a step towards me and I shake at the thought of being overpowered by him once more. My body is torn in two, as one half of me wants to run into his arms and stay there forever and the other half is screaming at him to stay away. Tears brim my eyes and I shake my head.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this…" I mumble and dart out of the door, gasping in the cool air of the garden. I don't expect him to follow me but the door slams open and Peeta rushes out, his eyes bright with anger.

"What the hell Katniss?" He yells. "You can't just kiss me like that then run away! What's going on?" He runs towards me but I stumble backwards, then trip over a stone and go flying backwards, landing on my back in the mud. The increasingly darkening clouds burst open and rain comes down in a torrent, immediately soaking me to the bone. I scramble upwards, my muddy hands marking my once pristine dress, now muddy and clinging to my figure.

"Please…" I beg him. "Stay away!" I cry, turning and running. I'm at the gate and trying to unlock it when he spins me round and presses me against the wall.

"No." He says firmly. "I'm not letting you get away from me. I can't." He pushes his hair away from his face, scattering rain drops all over me.

"Peeta!" I beg, quivering from the cold and emotionally torn. Then I give in. Why fight it? I grab him and push my lips against his. Rain continues to fall heavily around us, but I couldn't give a flying fuck. All I concentrate on is his lips against mine. We break apart for a second and in that second I gasp,

"I'm sorry!" He smiles and replies,

"It's okay." Then his lips regain mine and my eyes close in pleasure and my mind goes blank. I couldn't care less that I'm pressed against an uncomfortable brick wall, that my dress is soaked and stained, that I look like a mess. All I care about is Peeta, kissing me with so much passion, it takes my breath away.

**Author's Note: It's getting a bit hot in here! Katniss and Peeta getting on! Unfortunately it's not going to last (please don't hate me!) They will be together at some point but due to the evil person writing this, she won't let these two be together, not yet anyway. But I promise, it will happen because I love Katniss and Peeta and they belong together! However, because I am a mean and horrible person, it's not happening just yet. Please review and let me know what you think, I'd love to hear from you guys!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	18. Choices And Confusion

**Author's Note: Hello everyone, how are you all? I'm going to try and update on a more regular basis since I always feel too guilty when I don't update. I know a lot of you are probably really confused why Katniss seems to accept her feelings for Peeta and then pushes him away. The reason for this is because I'm trying to stay in canon and in the books Katniss does that all the time, so I'm just trying to stay in character. But I do promise you with all my heart that the relationship drama will eventually sort it's self out because the events of catching fire are stressful enough without their relationship drama! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Hunger Games. It belongs to the property of Suzanne Collins.**

_All I care about is Peeta, kissing me with so much passion, it takes my breath away._

Chapter 18

Slowly, we break apart, breathing heavily. Peeta's eyes slowly open and even though his eyes are still dark and powerful, I can see the blue returning. We smile shyly at each other, almost as if we can't quite believe what transpired between us. Peeta leans some of his weight off me, and I would be lying if I said I didn't miss his warm body surrounding me. He takes my hands and pulls me towards him so I'm not standing against the wall.

"Lovely!" a voice comes from behind us. Peeta and I turn towards the house, squinting in the rain. From where I stand I can vaguely make out some figures in the doorway, staring at us. I feel my face turn a million shades of bright red. I wonder how long they've been standing there, how much they saw. I don't know the answer, but I do know they saw enough. I'm absolutely mortified. I look up at Peeta, he has red cheeks also, but there's a hint of something else underneath it. He has a slight smile on his face, but what he's smiling at I've got no idea.

"Don't just stand there in the rain, you'll get a chill!" A familiar voice calls. It belongs to my mother. I can't help but smile a little that she really does still care. After all these years of hate, she still cares about my wellbeing. Peeta and I begin to walk up towards the back door. Peeta tries to wrap his arm around my waist but I frown and shrug him off, still embarrassed that we were caught displaying affection in public. God, I can't even begin to think what's running through their minds right now. I just wanted to curl up and die in the rain, so that I wouldn't have to face anyone. I catch Peeta's hurt look and I feel guilty until I look at everyone in the doorway and feelings of fear, embarrassment and horror comes over me again. We reach the door and are instantly pulled inside, guided over to the fire, and then blankets are tossed over us. I rake a hand through my wet hair, now hanging limply in strings and blackened from the rain.

"Well done!" Lato exclaims walking over to us, a camera in his hand. "What a lovely, romantic moment. Of course, it could have done with a bit of polishing but we're going for spontaneity. It seems you two have a decent enough acting ability. Great work!" He beams then heads out of the kitchen with his crew, talking to them about editing the footage. I'm so pissed off all I see is red. They thought we were acting and did it all for the stupid cameras? I sniff contemptuously, hating them all.

"Let it go." Peeta says quietly, making me jump. "I hate it too but…" He trails off when he sees the glare I give him. Let it go? How can I when they just insulted me to my face? How dare they think they have the right to treat me like I'm a lesser person than they are, just because they come from the fucking Capitol and I was born in lowly District 12? It's so unfair. Prim brings in a towel and carefully dries my hair, massaging my head gently. I smile in satisfaction and lean back against her as she rubs the towel through my hair. I open my eyes, and spot Peeta watching us intently, an unexplainable emotion on his face. When Prim finishes, I thank her profoundly then she heads upstairs to do her homework. She's so clever, always much more interested in the drivel the teachers say than I ever was. Normally when she comes home from school, she looks after Lady and Buttercup first, and then goes to study. She makes me so proud. I just know that she is destined to do something amazing one day. My mother hands me a hot water bottle then silently assesses me with her eye, checking that I'm alright.

"Why on earth were you outside in the pouring rain anyway?" She asks gently. I blush again, not wanting to tell her the truth.

"Well, erm…" Peeta stutters, for once not knowing what to say. I cringe internally, dying inside. Suddenly, I can't cope anymore. The stress of the day has finally got to me and I'm so overwhelmed I can't cope. I think of the woods with longing. The lush green grass, the tiny animals scampering around, the serenity and peacefulness of the woods fills my heart with longing and pain. It's been a week since I've returned, yet I have still not ventured into it. I turn and stare out of the window and through the rain, I can still make out the woods, dark in the dreary afternoon. I looked around, and wondered what the hell I was doing. Sat here in the dark of the kitchen, my mother looking on anxiously, Effie going through next week's schedule, the camera crew in the next room discussing the embarrassing footage, Peeta watching me with confusion clear on his face.

"I'm going out." I announced suddenly, standing up and throwing the blankets off me. I head out into the hallway, grabbing a random coat only checking that it had a hood. Effie, my mother and Peeta all follow me.

"Young lady, you cannot possibly go out in this hour, its absurd! It's pouring with rain and you need to have a lesson about televised behaviour!" Effie calmly states. I ignore her and continue buttoning up my coat.

"You'll be ill!" My mother warns sternly.

"I don't care." I say sternly. I had made up my mind. No-one could change it now. I was going to the woods and that was that.

"Where will you go?" Peeta asked.

"I'm just going out for a walk." I lied smoothly. Peeta narrows his eyes, like he can see straight through my lie.

"Right, well have fun." He replies, a hint of anger in his tone. His reply seems to imply that he knows exactly where I'm going and who I'm going to meet.

"I will." I say crossly. "Goodbye then." I start to walk out the door. Peeta touched my arm as I walked past him, causing me to stop and stare at him. His blue eyes were filled with pain, worry etched across his face.

"Katniss…stay, please." He begged. I wrenched my arm out of his grasp, and he pulled away from me like I had punched him. "I don't understand…" He murmured. "I thought that I, that we…"

"Well you were wrong!" I tell him harshly. "I'm going for a walk and there's nothing you can do about it!" I look at them all, running past them to the front door, daring them to follow me. They stayed where they were, open-mouthed with shock.

"You don't own me!" I yell angrily, stomping out of the door and marching down the stone steps. I look up at the overcast sky, pulling up the hood of my coat then I break out into a run. I sprint towards the town, continually looking over my shoulder to see if anyone was running after me, or a black car speeding towards me, ready to drag me back by any means necessary. However, after five minutes had passed and no-one had grabbed me yet, I figured I was probably safe. I run through the town, across the empty square until I reach the division between the merchants and the Seam. Do I really deserve to cross this boundary? Do I really deserve to wander the streets of the Seam, knowing that I am now wealthy while the rest slowly starve in squalid streets? I take a deep breath and step over the invisible line that separates us all. However once I've crossed that line, I feel I can breathe easily again. I know who I am here, what my purpose is. I begin to run again, past the crowded alleys that we call home. I arrive at the end of a lane, at a crossroad and stare at the four corner houses. I stare at one in particular. I know this house like the back of my hand. It's the house that was my home for sixteen years. I touch the door with one finger, running it up and down the ingrained wood. I trace the sign by the door that reads 'The Everdeen House'. I should want to go in there now, shelter from the storm, but I cannot bring myself to walk through the door. Instead, I force myself to run again, away from my old home. I find the entrance to the woods that I always used to use, the entrance I used on the day my life changed, Reaping Day. I crawl under the bushes, muddying the coat I took. By now I am covered in mud, my once white dress now a dingy dirty brown. I rush further into its arms, only stopping to gather my bow and arrows before running again. I run to the place where I know he will be, I feel it instinctively. Our rock, the place where we meet, the rock that signifies our friendship and commitment. As I reach it, I slow my pace and try to calm my racing heart. I push my limp hair out of my eyes, wishing I had something to tie it back with. It feels wrong to leave it down here. In these woods, I am Katniss, the tough hunter who cares about only two things; her family and finding food for them. Out of these woods, I'm a Victor, I'm an important person worried about putting on a show for everyone and trying to keep those I love safe from harm. I realise I can't be both but the fact I must be one or the other frightens me to death. I shake my head and focus on the present, on now. _He_ sits cross-legged on the rock, carving away at a piece of wood. For a moment I think I'm doing the wrong thing, that I should have listened to Peeta and stayed with him. I'm about to turn and walk away when Gale, not looking up from his wood speaks to me in a clear, calm voice.

"You came." I nodded then realised he hasn't yet looked up. I nervously took a step forward, berating myself that I am a bundle of nerves around him. It's Gale, I tell myself. He won't hurt me. _But he did once…_ a tiny voice in my head reminds me. My mind flashes back to the pain I felt when he had knocked me to the ground, when he hurled vile insults at me, when he kicked me so hard in the chest that it left a print of his boot in the form of a bruise. I still have that bruise, but it's faded enough that you can't tell it's someone's boot.

"Yes," I say quietly. "I came."

"Well I have to say I'm surprised," Gale murmurs. "I thought you would have been holed up in your fancy house with your new boyfriend." His lip curls up in disgust and I feel sick to my stomach. I can't protest his comment about my house but I can about Peeta. I have to let him know he has completely the wrong idea.

"You're wrong about Peeta. He's not my boyfriend." I protest. Gale stares at me, his piercing grey eyes staring right through me, sending a chill down my spine.

"Right." Gale replies, turning his head away and staring into the distance.

"I'm being serious Gale. I don't think of him like that. At most, he's a friend."

"So you go round kissing your friends then do you?" He asks rudely. "I've been your friend for four years and I've never had a kiss from you." He says this with a hint of sadness and longing, it is well hidden but I still hear it.

"Gale…" I say, lost for words. "It was an act. I don't feel that way for Peeta. In the arena, even now, I'm playing a character for the benefit of others. I don't kiss him because I want to; I kiss him because I have to, because it keeps everyone safe from harm. You can't possibly understand."

"I don't understand? I understand perfectly well. You are pretending to everyone because you are scared to face the truth. You are frightened to be who you are. I get it now!" He stands up and smiles, pulling me up with him. I go willingly, no longer frightened by him.

"I am, I am!" I tell him. "I'm so frightened all the time; I just wish I could go back to the way it was before all this crap happened." Gale's eyes light up with happiness and he pulls me into a hug. I stiffen in his arms, unsure of what to do but when Gale pulls back, he isn't fazed.

"Oh Katniss, I've waited for this day! I knew you felt the same…I just knew! Everyone was telling me to forget you that you clearly liked _him_, but oh to hear you feel the same, it brings so much joy to my heart, it really does!" I step away from him, confused. What on earth is he talking about?

"I don't understand," I tell him. "What are you talking about Gale?"

"I'm talking about this." He says, and before I can protest, he scoops me into his arms and kisses me. I stand still as a statue, while his mouth moves against mine. I don't think, I just shove him off me.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask him, smearing his kiss away from my lips. He stares at me in shock.

"Katniss, I thought that…" He trails off.

"Well you thought wrong!" I retort angrily. "Gale, we're best friends, not…you know…" I frown at him. What the hell was he thinking? What is going on?

"C'mon Gale, let's not fight. Can we hunt, like we used to do? I just want to go back to normal, well as normal as it can get." He just nods and we delve deeper into the woods to hunt.

A few hours later, I emerge from the woods, my pockets filled with game. We run through the meadow and under the fence quickly in case anyone sees us. I mean, it's highly unlikely in this pouring rain but it still could happen. Anyone could report us, and it would mean severe punishment for us and our families. We enter the Hob to sell our game just like we used to do. Everyone goes silent as we walk in, but after a few seconds they resume their normal business. We head over to Greasy Sae's stall and she nods at us kindly.

"Hello children, how's you?" She asks.

"I'm alright Sae; I've got some game for you." I tell her politely. Gale lays a hand on my shoulder and murmurs to me,

"I'm going to trade for some wool; I'll be back in a minute." I smile and nod, then turn back to Sae.

"Oh it's lovely to see you dearie, we all supported you when you were in the games. I started up a collection pot you know." She adds conversationally. I tilt my head in confusion.

"A collection pot?"

"Yes, for you and the boy in the games. We wanted to contribute you know. Obviously we couldn't raise anywhere near enough what them fancy sponsors up there in the Capitol gives, but we wanted to help in any way we could." Tears well up in my eyes. I look around the Hob, touched. Everyone gave away their pitiful earnings to help me and Peeta survive. It makes me sad to think how many families starved on my account but I feel so grateful at the same time.

"Thankyou…" I whispered. Sae pats my shoulder with her gnarly old hand and grins.

"Don't upset ya self girlie. Everyone just wanted to help and I thought why the hell not? Every little bit helps!" I smile, tears making my vision blurry. Gale comes up to me and asks me what's wrong.

"Oh it's nothing," I reply. "I'm sorry; I've got to go home. Bye!" I nod at them both, barely concealing my tears. I rush out of the Hob and run all the way home, tears falling down my cheeks. I rush into my house and shut the front door, leaning against it.

"Katniss?" Prim comes out the living room.

"Prim!" I choke out, wrapping my arms around her and sinking to the floor, sobbing. I hear the doors open but I don't care. I cry and cry, my tears making a puddle on the floor.

"Katniss?" My mother wraps an arm round me. "Let's get you to bed, you're obviously exhausted. Peeta, will you help?" She steps back and I feel a familiar warm body surrounding me. I lean my head against his chest and burst out crying again, feeling so guilty about everything. He picks me up, murmuring comforts in my ear. He carries me up the stairs and my mother directs him to my bedroom. He lays me from the bed and gently takes off my coat and slips off my shoes. My mother comes in with pyjamas, and he leaves the room. She helps undress me and I'm too far gone to even care that my mother is seeing me in such a state of undress. She dresses me in some shorts and a t-shirt then covers me with the duvet.

"Sleep now honey." She whispers stroking my hair. There's a knock on the door and Peeta enters, asking to talk to me. My mother kisses my forehead then leaves the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.

"Are you okay?" Peeta asks, sitting down on my bed. He looks so kind, so concerned that it makes me cry again.

"What's the matter? Did Gale hurt you?" Peeta angrily states.

"No!" I burst out. "No he didn't hurt me! I'm so sorry Peeta." I cry. He reaches out a hand and takes mine, rubbing his thumb over my hand.

"What are you sorry for?" He asks gently.

"For everything. I fucked it all up and I'm so sorry!" I cry. He shushes me and lays me down, resting my head on the pillow.

"You didn't do anything," He says quietly. "Just sleep." I'm soothed by his calming voice, my tears subside, and I'm lulled into a fitful sleep.

**Author's Note: So there you go! I hope you enjoyed it. Any questions you have please don't hesitate to PM me. Also, remember I am a registered beta, so any fanfic you have that you want beta-ing send them over to me. Please check out my beta profile/preferences for more info. Please leave me a review, let me know what you think about my story and what you think will happen next! **

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	19. Haymitch's Advice

**Author's Note: Hiya everyone! I promised I'd update more regularly so here I am! Now I'm guessing a lot of you are still confused why Katniss won't accept who she really loves. Well the reason is she is struggling with so many things, her family, her identity, her purpose. She lost it all to the Games, and the road to recovery is always a long and hard one, Peeta is just there to help her along the way. But don't forget, he struggles too! Hopefully the angst won't last for too much longer, but I can't promise that there will be only fluff for now. As much as I love Everlark, I just have to write some drama. However, there is one thing that I do promise- they will be together at some point, and that's all I can say for now. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Hunger Games (though I wish I did!) it all belongs to the brilliant Suzanne Collins.**

_I'm soothed by his calming voice, my tears subside, and I'm lulled into a fitful sleep._

Chapter 19

_I'm in the meadow, my game bag at myside, alone. The long grass weaves around me, and I smile in happiness and contentment. The sun begins to set, sending a gentle golden glow around the District. _

"_A gorgeous evening isn't it?" Peeta asks, walking over to me, the light highlighting his handsome features. I sigh dreamily, and then shake my head at my inner thoughts. _

"_Yes, it is." I reply softly, not wanting to ruin the moment. Peeta sits beside me, his real and metal leg stretched out in front of us. I want to touch his leg, to see what it's like underneath the material it's always hidden in. I wonder if he's ashamed of it, frightened by it even. I can't begin to imagine what it must feel like having a normal leg one minute, then a cold metal replacement the next. _

"_Peeta?" I ask carefully. He turns his head to look at me, and I can almost feel my body sinking into his invisible embrace. _

"_Yes?" He replies._

"_I…" I trail off, wanting to ask him if I can see his leg, but the words won't leave my mouth. "I just wanted you to know that, I'm really grateful for everything you've done for me." I blurt out. I have no idea why I just said that. I internally curse myself. Peeta looks at me with a smile on his face._

"_Thanks…" He replies awkwardly. "Why do you make it sound like it's an obligation to look out for you?" He asks._

"_Well, it kind of is, isn't it?" I tell him. "I've done nothing but hurt you and push you away, yet you are always there for me. I don't understand it." _

"_Katniss, I had no idea you felt like that." Peeta replies. "Let me tell you though, I don't do it because I feel I have to. I do it because I want to. However much you might push me away, I know you care and that's what keeps me with you. I won't ever give up on you Katniss, so please don't give up on me." Tears fill my eyes but I blink them away and come closer to him, unable to help myself. _

"_Peeta…" I whisper. "I won't give up on you. I'll protect you, with my life. Because that's what we do, we protect each other." Peeta smiles, wrapping his arm around my waist._

"_That's very true." He whispers back. Then he leans in close and places his lips on mine. I smile against his lips and kiss him back. He gently pushes me down onto the grass and lies on top of me, never once breaking his kiss. I wrap a leg around his hips, and sigh in happiness in pleasure. My hands roam his back, and slip under his shirt, feeling the smooth skin of his back. He groans, and the sound goes straight through my body, making me melt into a quivering mess…_

"Peeta!" I gasp, sitting up in shock. I look around at my surroundings. Then I realise where I am; in my bed, the teal curtains drawn shut. I run my hands through my hair, gasping a little. What the hell was that? I recall the dream, and I can't help the smile that spreads across my face. I sink back into my pillows when I feel it. A lingering tingle throughout my body, centred in one place. I shudder, hoping it will fade away. But it doesn't. It grows stronger and stronger until it threatens to consume me. Anxiously, I hop out of bed and practically run to the bathroom, firmly shutting the door behind me. I strip and hop into the shower, shivering in the freezing water. The tingle ebbs away a little. I stare down at my body. The cold water helps? I make sure that the water stays cool, forcing my body under it and continue my normal routine. By the time I've finished showering, the tingle has gone. I sigh in relief. Thank god. I head back to my room and dress simply, in trousers and a top. Then I head downstairs, looking around in shock at the amount of people in the kitchen. My mother and Prim are rushing around, pouring cups of coffee and tea. What seems like all the camera crew are squashed into the kitchen, sleepily sipping their mugs in the hope that it will wake them up. I smirk a little. Capitolites have never been early risers. Prim guides me to a chair and presses a plate of toast and a mug into my hands, then goes on to serve Haymitch, who looks like death warmed up. He waves her away irritably, his eyes tightly shut, his hands pressed to his temples. I stare at Haymitch till he looks up, his bleary eyes focusing on me. He raises his mug of coffee sourly, probably wishing it was some of his white liquor. He nods his head in recognition, and then slumps back down on the table, groaning softly.

"Are you feeling better now Katniss?" A familiar voice asks gently. I look up, and my heart jumps at the sight of the sight of him. The morning sunlight from the window shines upon him, making his hair glow golden. A lock falls over his forehead and I urge to push it away from his face, to run my fingers through it. The tingly feeling I had an hour ago resumes, only this time stronger than ever. I shiver a little, hoping it will go away. I realise I never answered his question.

"Yes…I'm fine now thanks." I murmur. He nods, but doesn't look convinced.

"Nightmares again?" He asks sympathetically. I agree with him because it's easier than him questioning me. He can't know about my dream. It would be far too embarrassing to deal with. I may not know anything about relationships but I even I realise that telling him would be less than helpful. I still need to sort out my feelings. It's just too damn confusing. My mother passes him a cup of tea and I watch him as he pours in a little milk, but no sugar. He sits on the chair next to me, stirring quietly.

"No sugar?" I blurt out. He looks at me and smiles brightly, showing his pearly white teeth.

"No." He chuckles. "Sugar belongs in many things, I should know after all! Not tea though, it makes it taste horrible."

"Well I like it." I reply stubbornly, dumping in two spoonfuls, stirring then taking a big sip. Peeta's face scrunches up in disgust.

"That's disgusting!" He says. I laugh at his expression. I feel my sprits lift. It's been a long time since I laughed properly. Nowadays, it seems only Peeta and Prim can make me smile. I'm about to reply, but I'm interrupted when Effie appears, bubbly even at this time in the morning.

"Good morning everyone!" She chirps and only a few people reply, as most of the camera crew are too absorbed with trying to wake up. "The schedule for today is to begin our month long reality show." I groan quietly, trying not to let my disappointment show. Effie spots my expression and frowns, her eyebrows knitting together. "Katniss don't look like that! Today is to be filled with fun, fun, fun!" I roll my eyes. Yeah right. She dispatches a few instructions to random people around the room, then Lato steps forward and takes over.

"Today will be pretty easy. Since we managed to get the reunion and Parcel Day over with, there's really not much too shoot until later on. All we need for today is a couple of scenes with Katniss and Peeta meeting up and Peeta meeting the Everdeen family. Right everyone, let's get busy!" He clicks his fingers and everyone bursts into an organised chaos. I'm herded upstairs by my prep team. They chatter as they style me, and I don't have to say one word for twenty minutes until they address me.

"How did you sleep last night Katniss?" Venia asks conversationally.

"Fine." I say shortly. I only return the sentiment because it's polite. Not that I'm polite often, but I feel obligated to be every now and then. "How did you sleep?" I regret asking as soon as the words leave my mouth. Clearly they were hoping I'd ask that so they could complain.

"I slept well thankyou Katniss." Venia replies going back to styling my hair.

"Don't lie to the girl Venia!" Flavius scolds dramatically. "All you did this morning was complain about how hard the bed was." He smirks and in the mirror I can see Venia blush bright right, lowering her eyes, suddenly extremely focused on the piece of hair she's curling.

"Well, that may be true, but it's still nice to be here. District 12, it's quaint but very charming." She replies, patting me on the shoulder. I roll my eyes. That word is always applied to District 12. Quaint. It's basically a way of saying 'Your District is very boring and I hate it here but I'll tell you it's quaint so as not to hurt your feelings'.

"He's right. I don't want you to lie to me. I know you hate it here, and you'd rather be back in your fancy Capitol where everything's perfect, but this is my home! I grew up here and it means everything to me. You may see District 12 as a stupid, backwards District, but I think it's beautiful. You know what, don't even bother. Just go back home, if you hate it so much!" I shout angrily, storming out of the room. I stomp down the hallway, doors opening left and right, watching me leave, my hair half up and half down. I march down the stairs, my footsteps sending large thuds around the house. I march out of the front door and walk over to the green garden in the middle of Victor's Village. I push my way through the fading blossoms and find an ancient wooden bench in the middle, rotting away from the weather and old age. Transcribed on one of the planks it reads

"To the Victors of the Hunger Games,

May these houses provide comfort and no pain.

Bless the Capitol for their kindness,

And forevermore by filled with joy and happiness." I read the words, my mouth whispering it at the same time. Then I laugh out loud. What a load of bullshit. How could anyone be happy living in Victor's Village? Just look at Haymitch. He drinks himself to death every night to try and forget his demons. Not that it works much, but at least it makes everything fade for a while. I hear a vicious swear word then Haymitch himself emerges from a prickly thorn bush clutching his palm.

"Next time you decide to go missing Sweetheart, don't go hiding away in thorn bushes!" He says. We sit on the bench in silence for a few minutes. "You do realise you have to go back don't you?" He says, quieter this time.

"I know." I reply, nodding my head. "I just…got angry. I just couldn't stand the way they talked about my home. District 12's my whole life Haymitch, and they insulted it like it's nothing!"

"They didn't know they were hurting your feelings." Haymitch points out. "To them, no-where will be as good as the Capitol and this place in comparison, you can't possibly compare. To them, District 12 is a tiny backwards place that no-one cares about." I start to interrupt him but he shushes me and continues. "I know you don't feel that way Katniss. But you have to learn to respect other people's opinions. I'm not saying you have to agree with them. Disagree with them as much as you like in your head but if you voice your opinions it'll only land you in trouble. You know what happened to me 'cause I refused. I don't want that to happen to you and I'm sure you don't either. So what you need to do, is get your ass back in there and grovel for their apologies. Say you didn't know what you were saying, that you're under a lot of stress lately, whatever will make them believe you. Because I'm telling you now, once they all get back to the Capitol, they'll be interviewed and all the secret gossip from filming will come out. And if they find out that you've been running off to hide, or disagreeing with what people say, your family will be dead quicker than you can turn around. And for God's sakes, stop messing the boy around. He really loves you, so don't hurt him more than you already have. Take some time out, figure out your real feelings for him. You know how you feel inside. You just need to figure it out." He stands up and awkwardly pats my shoulder. I look up at him, showing how grateful I am through my facial expression. I've never said it, but he gives really good advice and I appreciate everything he's done for Peeta and I. Sometimes, he feels like more than a mentor. Sometimes it feels like he's a second father to me.

"Thankyou Haymitch, I say gratefully.

"I'll see you inside in a few minutes Sweetheart?" He asks. I nod, and he nods in return then pushes back through the thorn bushes, cursing all the way. I sit there for a few seconds more, pondering everything he's said. He's right. I do need to be more careful, and I have to protect my family. I must keep them safe. I stand up and make my way back to the house and the cameras.

**Author's Note: So there you go! A pretty short chapter, compared to my later ones, but it seemed like a good idea to end it here. Next chapter, will definetly continue on from where I've left up. So what do you think will happen with the filming? How will Katniss and Peeta's relationship develop? Please leave a review and let me know! Also 10 days till Mockingjay Part 2! I'm so excited it's unbelievable! Promise I will update soon!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	20. Filming And Interviews

**Author's Note: Hi everyone! Sorry I've not updated at the weekend but I've been extremely busy! Now I'm back, in a creative mood, so let's get this show on the road aha. Can't believe Mockingjay Part 2 is in cinemas, it was such an amazing film and the epilogue was just perfection! Also, I'd like to say, I am so shocked about what happened in Paris a few days ago. My thoughts, love and prayers are with anyone who was affected by the vicious attacks. This chapter is dedicated to all of you. #prayforparis **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Hunger Games. I wish I did, but unfortunately I don't. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

_I stand up and make my way back to the house and the cameras._

Chapter 20

I walk up the stone steps, shaking slightly. I can't believe what I did. It's appalling. I could have hurt my family, I think, the thought sending shivers down my spine. I can't even imagine someone hurting my Prim. I open the front door, stepping into the carpeted hallway. Everyone comes through silently, staring at me. I bite my lip, ignoring them all, searching the small crowd until I find my prep team. Their faces drop like a stone at the sight of me. I reach for Venia, taking her hands in mine. They are pale and completely smooth from living her entire life with no hard work to do. Mine used to be calloused and covered in scars, but now they show no signs of it. The body buff in the Capitol tore that from me. I wish they hadn't. They have wiped away the physical effects of the Games, but the mental scars remain intact.

"I am so sorry," I say humbly. "I've been under a lot of stress lately, but that is no excuse for being so rude to you, my friends. Please…can you ever forgive me?" There's a tense moment, and the air around us is palpable. I bite my lip. This moment is crucial. My family's lives depend on this moment. Suddenly, all three converge on me, grasping me in a tight hug.

"Of course we can!" Flavius bursts dramatically.

"We're sorry too!" Cries Octavia, tears bursting in torrents down her pale green skin. We hear a slight cough, and break apart awkwardly. Lato stands there, his arms crossed over his purple velvet jacket.

"Well, now that that's over with, I wonder if we can actually get back to work?" He says sarcastically. The prep team, seemingly over their emotional outburst, stare at me in shock.

"Katniss, your hair!" Gasps Venia, her tattooed eyebrows shooting up to her hairline.

"Your nails!" Flavius shouts in horror, grabbing my hand and studying it in shock.

"Hurry, there's much to do!" Octavia says anxiously, hurrying us all towards the stairs. I let their enthusiasm sweep me up, and carry me back to the room.

Half an hour later, I re-emerge, only this time, fully dressed up to Capitol standards. I'm wearing a pleated teal skirt that swirls down my legs, paired with a fitted white blouse, unbuttoned at the neck. I look down myself, suddenly realising that the blouse reveals more than I'd like. Feeling self-conscious, I re-fasten the buttons quickly. Effie appears in front of me, a pair of heels in her hands.

"Here you go Katniss!" She says cheerily. "Put these on, and you're good to go!" I stare at the heels in shock.

"I can't wear these." I mumble. Effie frowns.

"Of course you can!" She replies snappily, then straightens and fixes a smile back on her face. "Katniss, you can do this. I believe in you. I gave you that training before the Games. Surely you remember a little of it?" I nod, then slip on the shoes, wobbling anxiously, trying to regain my balance. Effie appraises my appearance and then un-buttons the top buttons of my blouse. I frown at her in shock and confusion. Effie sighs, her hands gently brushing over my shoulders.

"Oh Katniss…" She says gently. "I know you don't like it, but this is something you have to do. The Capitol appreciates beauty, and you shouldn't hide it."

"It makes me feel uncomfortable." I whisper in reply. I don't like people seeing me like this. I have nothing to show off about. Sixteen years of starvation ensured that. Compared to many Capitolites, I have nothing. I remember Cinna's outfit that padded me out because the Capitol felt I didn't have enough chest to be socially acceptable.

"I know you feel that way Katniss, but you are naturally beautiful. Your body shape suits you, it makes you striking."

"Effie, I have nothing…" I whisper. She sighs again, but with a motherly, nurturing tone. Then she stands up and smiles wickedly, winking at me.

"Well, even if you don't like it, I promise Peeta will love it!" She says, and then slips out of the room. I feel confusion etch upon my face. What on earth is she talking about? Then I realise, she's talking about the same thing my mother was a few days ago. I have no idea what either of them are on about. The only thing I've ever done was kiss Peeta…and Gale. I cringe at the thought. That was disgusting. I didn't feel anything but horror and embarrassment. What does that mean? Does that mean I have feelings for Peeta? I try to think about something else, anything else. I should be focusing on the cameras, on getting through the day without hurting my family. I take a few deep breaths and walk towards Lato. Peeta stands next to him, chatting quietly. He turns towards me and openly stares, his mouth opening a little. His gaze fills me with shyness, like I want to protect my body from his stare but at the same time, it feels me with a confidence that I've never had before. I walk over to him.

"Hello." I say quietly, biting my lip.

"Hello." He replies in turn. Lato turns to us both.

"Come along you two, let's get filming." He leads us back into the kitchen, where everyone has gathered for the second time this morning. "So today, we're going to film Katniss and Peeta's reunion. Now as far as the show goes, you said good-bye a few hours ago. However, you two couldn't be without each other so you meet in the middle of the night." He tries to go on, but I interrupt him.

"Lato, I don't know if you've noticed, but its early morning. How will you film something that's supposed to happen at night?" He just rolls his eyes.

"As I was about to say, obviously we can't film that to tonight, so we are going to do a different scene that would happen after the reunion. We are going to film Peeta meeting the Everdeen household. Let's get to work!" The crew wanders off, and Lato speaks directly to us. "This scene may be difficult, since it's not in the timeline with the show. Unfortunately, some scenes have to be shot at specific times, or my vision won't work. I believe you can do it." Cressie comes over and explains where they want us to stand and act.

"Just imagine that Peeta is going to be meeting your family for the first time. You're asking your mother if he can come over for dinner. Do whatever comes naturally. It's okay to be shy and awkward. Just show how much you care and the rest is easy, I promise." I have to say, I am growing to like Cressie. I take my seat at the kitchen table whilst my mother flutters around the kitchen 'preparing dinner'. Of course, it's early in the morning but we have to pretend, just like I've been doing ever since I set foot in that arena. I hear the call of action and try and immerse myself into this character. I pretend to drink my tea, tracing my finger over the wood grains in the table.

"Mother?" I ask. She turns and looks at me. "Can Peeta come over for dinner? He wants to meet you both and I promised him he would." My mother looks at me for a second, but that second drags on so long it feels like an eternity.

"Yes Katniss, he can. I must say, I think you are too young to involve yourself with boys but I would like to meet the one who's captured your heart. I want to know that he's right for you." I fight the urge to roll my eyes. I'm struggling to tell whether my mother's pretending for the benefit of the cameras or if she really does feel this way. Either way, I still don't like it. She doesn't get to determine my future.

"Katniss, what's Peeta like?" Prim questions curiously. I bite my lip pretending to be deep in thought. I decide to tell the truth since it's easier and I've always been a terrible liar.

"Well…" I say quietly. "He's amazing. He's kind and generous and always treats me far better than I deserve. In that arena, he kept me going. Aside from you two, he inspired me to live, to fight, and to survive. We protected each other." Prim looks at me, her blue eyes piercing right through me.

"You really like him." She notes, with a hint of a smile on her face. "I can't wait to meet him!" She beams. I smile at her fondly. Only Prim would be so excited to meet someone. She begins dancing round the kitchen, a mischievous look in her eyes. "Katniss and Peeta, sitting in a tree…" She sings. I grab her and pull her close before she can finish the verse.

"When did you get so cheeky?" I tease, pulling one of her braids. "Shouldn't you be at school anyway?" I ask. It is Monday, isn't it?

"Katniss!" Prim says, looking shocked. "Only you would think of school on a day as exciting as today! Anyway, I want to spend time with my sister and I can't do that if I'm at school."

"Well, you have to go Prim, it's important." I reply gently. I was about to say it's mandatory, but obviously I can't say that in front of the cameras. "Come-on, grab your bag. If you hurry, you won't be late." Prim rolls her eyes.

"Okay." She groans, and then stops in the doorway. "Wait! I can't go to school Katniss, I'll miss Peeta's visit!" She says anxiously.

"No you won't." I tell her, smiling at her attempts to get out of going to school. She's smart, I'll give her that. "If you remember, I said Peeta would be over for dinner, not lunch. And I'm pretty sure that you'll be home by dinnertime, unless you plan to stay at school for longer!" I laugh. "Now go, or you'll be late!" I admonish. Prim takes hold of my hand.

"Will you walk with me? She asks, batting her eyelashes at me. I look over at Lato for my answer, and when he nods I reply,

"Of course Prim. Let me just get my coat." I reach for a random jacket, and then one is thrown at me by the prep team. I place it on the hook, and then take it off again, for the cameras sake. I shrug it on, marvelling at the warmth it possesses. I take Prim's hand and we walk out of the door, closing it behind us.

"Cut!" I hear a shout from inside. I stop on the steps, placing a hand on Prim's shoulders.

"Off you go then Prim."

"But Katniss, I was only joking, I don't really need to go to school!" She whines like a toddler, stamping her foot in annoyance.

"Well I wasn't joking." I tell her. "You do need to go. Remember, mum gets in trouble when you don't go. You can't take time off for no reason." Even though, I'm a Victor now, I'm sure they still would frown upon it. Even when my father died, when my mother wouldn't move, when Prim and I were so sick, tired and hungry I still made us go to school. If we didn't go then they definitely wouldn't know that something was wrong. They would have sent Peacekeepers around to make sure everything was okay. And when they would have seen my mother in her depression, they would have carted us off to the Community Home. For me, it was imperative that no-one knew what was going on at home. I mean, I'm sure they knew that something was wrong, since Prim and I lost weight but since they had no definitive proof, they had no way of knowing. Or maybe they didn't care. Either way, we had to go to school then and Prim has to go to school now. Technically, I should still be attending, but since I won the Hunger Games I don't have to attend anymore. I'm supposed to sit back and enjoy my life of riches.

"Okay Katniss," Prim sighs. She hugs me quickly, and then runs out of Victor's Village, to the road that leads to town. I'd forgotten, she now has a long walk ahead of her. She must now get to town, cross the square, behind the shops, just to get to school. I feel bad. Maybe I should have gone with her. It's a long walk, and anything could happen to her. I doubt it but you never know. I head back inside.

"Where's Prim?" Mother asks.

"School." I reply, unclear why she needs more clarification. Didn't she realise it was Monday?

"Excellent job, Miss Everdeen." Lato says, coming over and patting me on the back. As much as I don't like him, I do admire his talent for breaking awkward silences. "Couldn't have done it better myself." Effie consults the clipboard.

"Obviously, we can't film again till tonight. So to fill the time, we've scheduled an interview for you two until we can film again." I share a look with Peeta. I don't want to do this. I'm not ready. I've only just got used to the idea that I'm going to have to film every day for the rest of the month only now I have to do interviews too? Since Peeta and I are already made up, they bundle us into the car and take us into town. I sit next to Peeta and lean back against the seat, wishing I was anywhere else. I feel a familiar hand link through mine. I can't help but smile. I don't protest and his fingers weave tightly through mine, his thumb rubbing slow casual circles on my skin. It calms me, and allows some the confusion to lift through my mind. It feels right, and I feel embarrassed by how right it feels. I should feel repulsed by his touch, like I did when Gale kissed me. I should want to slide as far away from him as possible, and it frightens me that I want the opposite of that. I chew my lip as I mull over my thoughts.

"Don't bite your lip." A low voice makes me jump. Peeta brings up his free hand, gently pulling my bottom lip away from my teeth's grip. "It'll hurt and you don't want it to bleed." I look at him, and he looks at me, his fingers caressing my lip. We stare into each other's eyes for an immeasurable amount of time. A slight cough from the driver makes us tear apart.

"We're here, Mr Mellark, Miss Everdeen." He announces. I step out of the car and realise that we are parked in front of the Justice Building. Great. This place fills me with memories of the reaping; of a twelve-year-old's name pulled out of the bowl, of the amplified high-pitched voice of Effie Trinket ringing around the square, of the young innocent boy with blonde curls making his way onto the stage. I shudder. I grip Peeta's hand tighter, pressing into his side. Of course, the stage isn't there now, but it's still intimidating to walk up the steps, grey with coal dust. We enter to see a sparsely furnished lobby, a tired looking receptionist writing something down. When she spots us, she jumps up, instantly awake.

"Mr Mellark, Miss Everdeen, what a pleasure to meet you!" She gushes, shaking Peeta's hand enthusiastically. He looks a little surprised but goes with it, adding a charming smile that makes her visibly melt. "I'm a big fan, I watched your Games and I thought you were incredibly impressive!" She adds, staring at Peeta. She's pretty, I notice grimly. Long blonde hair that falls off her shoulders, blue eyes that are alight with emotion. The complete opposite to me. Even though our hands are linked, the look perfect together. My mind flashes forward ten years, and I see them together, wedding bands glittering in the light, a trio of blonde children around them. The thought sticks in my throat and I almost choke on it. I shove the urge to vomit down and try to focus on other things.

"Katniss?" Peeta asks, staring at me in concern. I look at him in confusion. He murmurs a few things to the pretty receptionist then pulls me into another room. What is this emotion I feel? Why does it threaten to drag me down? Why does it make me want to pull Peeta into my arms and hold him there forever?

"Katniss, are you okay?" Peeta asks again. "What's the matter?" His blue eyes, looking at me in concern makes the wall of emotions come crashing down. I sink to my knees and burst into tears, my knees sliding over the cold tiles. I'm empty and nothing. Why is he still here? He doesn't deserve someone horrible like me. All the insults that have ever been thrown my way ring loud and true in my ears, and I believe them. They were right. They were all right. I'm a horrible person. So horrible that I should wallow in my own misery till the day I die. I don't deserve someone like Peeta, someone who's good and pure and true. I feel arms wrap round me, and I bury myself into them until the tears subside. When I finally stand, wiping the remaining tears away, he doesn't ask questions. Well, not aloud.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"It's okay." He replies. "It's good to cry every once in a while." Then we leave the room, and I don't look at the receptionist again. I just focus on today, on the interviews that are about to happen any moment now.

"How do I look?" I ask Peeta softly, trying to smooth the creases in my skirt. Peeta's eyes skim my body, stopping momentarily on my bare legs and torso.

"You look beautiful." He replies, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. I grab his hand, fix a winning smile on my face and push open the door. It's filled with maybe fifteen people. A small stage has been constructed, on which sit two chairs. The other chairs are below the stage and all are filled with people fiddling with cameras or notepads. I take a deep breath. I can do this. I can do this, I repeat, as I hop up onto the stage, almost twisting my ankle in the process. I notice that the two chairs are a meter apart, and for my sanity and appearances, I drag them closer together so that they touch. Peeta and I sit in the chair, ensuring that our hands stay linked. There is silence in the room for one second, then it erupts into flashes and shouts. Panicking, I don't say anything, just making sure I smile for the pictures whilst I figure out what to say. I glance at Peeta, he's also clearly lost. Luckily for us, Effie totters onto the stage, handing us both microphones and addressing the audience.

"Now we are here so you can interview our star-crossed lovers. How this will work is, if you would like to ask them a question, you must raise your hand, and I'll call out your name. Then you may ask the question and Katniss and Peeta will answer it as best they can. You may begin." I smirk a little. She sounds just like a teacher. The second she finishes speaking, all the reporters' hands raise. She points to one and he shouts out,

"Can you tell us any details about your month long filming?" Effie looks to Peeta and he opens his mouth to speak.

"Well, instead of filming for two weeks, it was decided that we'd film for a month instead. This so Panem's citizens can get to know Katniss and I better." Another reporter then asks,

"What do your families think about your relationship?" Effie nods to me so I know I have to answer. I feel sweat gather on my hands and I feel so sorry for Peeta that he has to deal with that. However, he doesn't betray me or even seem bothered by it.

"As you can imagine, Prim adores him. As for my mother, doesn't exactly approve of me having a boyfriend." I blush at the label. "She likes Peeta well enough; she just thinks I'm too young for boys." I chuckle goes round the room and I continue. "Not that it stops me though." I giggle, leaning over to kiss Peeta. He's surprised but plays along, wrapping a steady arm around my waist. When we break apart, I lean against him, as I feel like the reporters expect us to be closer than just sitting next to each other. Flashes blind my eyes. I smirk inwardly. I was right. They are so predictable.

"What about your family Peeta?" The same reporter presses. His pen is poised, ready to write whatever words come out of his mouth. I don't like the look of him. He looks hungry, a greedy look in his eyes. I don't like the way he keeps staring at me. I find myself wishing I hadn't listened to Effie and left the buttons on my blouse unfastened. Peeta notices my stiff posture, wrapping his arm tighter around my waist. I can't help but feel grateful towards him.

"Well…" Peeta replies. I know he's struggling with what to say. I certainly know what his mother thinks of me and the feelings are mutual. His brothers seem uncaring and rude. The only decent member of his family is his father and I don't really know him that well. Peeta takes the safe option. "My family haven't actually met Katniss yet but I'm sure that when they do, they'll love her just as much as I do. I mean, she's perfect, what's not to like?" His comment is met with good natured chuckled but that creepy reporter continues to stare right at me and I find myself staring him down. I will not let him intimidate me. After many more questions, Peeta and I are finally allowed to leave the room. We run down the hallways, past the receptionist, until we meet fresh air. That's when we finally stop and laugh, letting all the seriousness of the past half an hour fade away. I feel proud that I got through it without saying the wrong thing, without messing everything up. Before we get back in the car to leave, Peeta heads across the square to the bakery. He said he had a surprise for me. I smile and lean against an alleyway, waiting for Peeta to return. I look around me, there's no-one in sight. It makes sense I guess, the merchants are in their shops, the children at school, the Seam workers in the mines. A breeze blows through my hair, reminding me that summer is drawing to a close. I smile happily. Suddenly, a hand is on my shoulder, and I'm yanked down the dark alleyway…

**Author's Note: Cliff-hanger! Who do you think it is? What will happen? Will Peeta find her? Let me know in a review. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll be updating soon. Next chapter, more filming and maybe a little more romance…**

**Love **

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	21. Drowning

**Author's Note: Hello everyone. Sorry for not updating sooner, but I've been ill. However, I'm soldiering on to write this new chapter for you. Enjoy!**

**I would like to thank lilo785 for their lovely review; it made me one very happy bunny! So this chapter is dedicated to you. Btw, I would really like to recommend the new Coldplay album, A Head Full Of Dreams, it's amazing! I wrote this whole chapter listening to it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from the Hunger Games.**

_Suddenly, a hand is on my shoulder, and I'm yanked down the dark alleyway…_

Chapter 21

I'm spun around into the wall of the alley. I can feel the slime and dirt of the walls sticking to my shirt and I shiver from the cold. My eyes squint in the darkness, trying desperately to adjust to the dim light. I'm reminded of a happier time in the rain, when Peeta pushed me against the garden wall and pushed his mouth against mine; with so much passion that it left me breathless. However, when I look at the person pinning me against the wall, to my horror it is not Peeta. It's _him_. I try to push away from the wall.

"What the hell are you doing?" I shout at him. "Let me go!" He snarls in response and brings my hands above my head, holding them with one arm so that I am trapped and cannot possibly move.

"Miss Everdeen," He says calmly, the sound of my name on his lips hissing and cruel. "We seem to have a predicament on our hands. You probably know who I am. I saw you staring at me in the interview room with lust in your eyes." I stare at him in shock.

"You're wrong!" I shout. "I don't even know who you are!" How could this stranger conceive that I desire him? I don't even know what that means. I've never felt anything but annoyance and fear for this man.

"I'm a reporter. My job is to give the Capitolites the gossip they crave. Now, there's several ways to do this. But you, staring at me in that room, snuggled by _his_ side, making me jealous. You have left me with no other option." He stops for a second and inhales deeply, his dark blue hair falling over his face.

"Let me go." I tell him firmly. "I'm a Victor. People will be wondering where I am." He smiles cruelly then sighs, as if this was a great tragedy.

"I know." He replies smoothly. "Such a shame. Anyway, your only choice is to give into me now, and then I can expose you for who you are to the whole of Panem. Everyone will know your shame. You will be scandalised forever, that you cheated on your lover, your fellow Victor, Peeta Mellark." He spits his name with so much hate, that it frightens me. "How does that sound?" He asks sweetly.

"Go to hell." I tell him, spitting in his face. His eyes flash and his grip on my wrists tighten with every passing second.

"Fine." His lips attack my neck, leaving a slimy trail in its wake. I try to move, to get him away from me but he won't move. Tears fill my eyes as I think about what he said. Everyone will know who I truly am, and that thought disgusts me. When I think about Peeta, I feel sick. I don't want to do this to him, to hurt him, but I can't get him off me.

"No!" I scream, as his lips descend further down my body. "Please!" I sob, tears streaming down my face. "Let me go!" I'm begging now and I hate it. It makes me feel weak. All I want is to get away and protect myself from this horrible man.

"Get away from her." An angry voice grits out from the side of me. I try to turn my head, but I'm still pinned against the wall.

"What are you gonna do about it?" My attacker replies, staring menacingly at Peeta.

"She said no." Peeta tells him. "Where I come from, if someone says no, then they mean no." The reporter smirks.

"Well, where I come from, if someone says no, you shouldn't give up." I feel like I'm between two kinds of men, one sweet, generous and caring; the other ruthless and cruel. Suddenly without warning, his hand is grasping my blouse, then pulls. The buttons burst and scatter down the alley, making strange sounds as they clatter to the floor. I want to cross my arms over myself, protect myself from his stare. I close my eyes, completely defeated. Then I feel cold air brush over me as my attacker is pushed away from me. Peeta stands over him as he is knocked to the floor. He bends down and grasps the collar of his rumpled suit.

"If you ever come near her again, I swear I will kill you. If you report her, or say anything about this incident, I will find out. I will tear you down and make your life hell. Do you understand?" He says calmly. He is so calm, yet sterner and more frightening than I have ever seen him. His blue eyes turn from soft to piercing and he stares down the man.

"Go. I don't ever want to see your face again." Then man nods, and gets up, his face pale with fear, then stumbles away from us. I try to move but my body feels frozen. Peeta gets up, walking over to me. He doesn't touch me; he just stands a few feet away, watching me. What does that mean? Is he repulsed by the sight of me? Well, I wouldn't be surprised. I feel repulsed by me.

"Katniss." He steps forward a little, and then stops himself. Why?

"Peeta." I reply. Then my body moves all by itself. I take a step forward, but then my legs give out and I crumple to the ground. Before I can hit the grimy floor of the alley, I'm caught in his strong arms. I sigh in relief then close my eyes. I'm safe and protected in his arms. The smell of cinnamon and him envelops me. It makes me feel like I can forget everything that just happened because I'm with him and he makes everything better.

"Katniss? Are you alright? Katniss!" He shouts. I slowly open my eyes and Peeta's hovering over me, his eyes wide with panic. When he sees my eyes open he hugs me close. "Thank God. I thought you'd died on me!" I smile weakly.

"I'm not going to die on you Peeta." I say, rolling my eyes a little.

"There's the Katniss we all know and love." Peeta replies. "Do you feel you can stand up now?" I nod and he gently pulls me up till I'm standing, albeit a little shakily. He smiles, then a red flush forms on his cheeks and he pulls away from me awkwardly.

"What is it?" I ask him curiously.

"Well, erm Katniss… you're sort of, erm…" He trails off, slightly gesturing to his chest. I look down and realise that when the reporter ripped my shirt it has left me in just me underwear. I blush, and then try to wrap my shirt around me in embarrassment. Peeta sees my struggle and hands me his jacket. I smile at him gratefully and he politely inverts his eyes whilst I jip it up. Not that there's much to look at.

"Thanks Peeta." I tell him sincerely.

"It's no problem Katniss. I'd do anything for you." He tells me shyly. Normally, that should frighten me. It should make me want to run away from his affections. However, it just makes me smile. His honesty, his sincerity, it's adorable.

"Thank-you." I tell him humbly. I'm awed by his words. I don't deserve to hear them. He gently takes my face between his hands and says,

"I'm just glad I found you before…When I came back and found you missing, I swear my heart stopped. It was like the Games. Then I heard your screams and it was like all my nightmares were coming true. There are no words to describe it." He looks so haunted, so afraid that my heart breaks for him.

"I'm here." I tell him firmly. "I'm alive and you're alive. Everything's okay."

"I know." He replies. "It's just thinking about what could have happened." I pull his face down to look at me.

"Don't think about what could have happened. Focus on now." His blue eyes fix on me and he smiles gratefully.

"Thanks." He says. "I needed to hear that. Come on, let's get back to everyone, they're probably wondering what happened." He wraps a strong arm around my waist to support me and we walk out of the shadows together into the sunlight of the square. People are pacing in front of the Justice Building, Effie running her fingers through her wig. She spots us and scurries over to us, her face flushing in anger.

"Where have you been? Everyone's been looking for you! Honestly, you'd think you were both kidnapped or something!" Peeta and I glance at each other.

"Sorry Effie, we didn't mean to cause offence," Peeta replied. "Katniss and I, we needed some time alone after the interviews." Effie looks us up and down, her eyebrows rising as she takes in Peeta's jacket wrapped around me. However, she seemed to sense that now is not the time to bring it up.

"Well, let's just get in the car and head back to Victor's Village. There are still a couple of hours to go until we need to film the meeting at night so you'll have a couple of hours to do what you like." Such a strange expression. I've never had spare time. All my life I've been busy looking after my family or hunting or at school. I've never had free time. Since I've been a Victor, I've had nothing but free time on my hands and I don't really know what to do about it.

We get in the car and drive back to Victor's Village in silence. We get out of the car and Effie dismisses us with a wave, whilst tottering to my house in her heels. She shuts the door firmly. Peeta and I stood in the middle of Victor's Village with nothing to do. After a few minutes of awkward silence, Peeta asks,

"Do you want to come back to my house? We could have a hot chocolate or something. You look like you need a hot drink." I smile at him gratefully.

"Sounds nice." I reply. We walk up the steps to Peeta's house when I realise I've never properly been in his house before. I have once, when the prep team dressed me for the first day of filming. His house is nearly the exact same as mine, with the furniture in the same place. The only thing different about it is that it feels so lived in. We've only been back about a week, and yet Peeta's house feels like home. It feels normal to sit at his kitchen table, while he makes hot chocolate. It feels normal to make light conversation and for it not to feel awkward. I can't tell what my feelings are yet, but I do know that I feel happy and safe in his company. I like the feeling of Peeta's jacket around my body. But then I realise the reason why it's there. Now I want nothing more than to wash that reporter's slimy kiss off my body.

"Peeta?" I ask. "Can I use your shower?" Peeta's head snaps up to look at me. He visibly swallows before he answers.

"Erm…Sure, you can if you want." I frown at him quizzically.

"I just want to forget about everything from today, I feel like a shower would help."

"Yes, of course." He replies. "Take as long as you need."

"Thanks." I say quietly, leaving the room. I head up the stairs to where I know the bathroom will be. I make sure that the door is shut, and then strip myself of my clothes. I want to chuck away what remains of them. Maybe that would be better, help me move on from today's events. I remember Peeta's strange expression when I asked him about showering. What was that about? How he confuses me. Everytime I think I have him worked out, he does or says something that makes me realise how little I know him. We may have been through the most traumatic experiences together, yet in everyday life, I know nearly nothing. I only know inconsequential things, like how his hair shines in the sunlight, the way his strong arms can wrap protectively around my waist. I don't even know his favourite colour! I sigh to myself and decide to focus on other things. Tonight's filming will resume soon, since it's getting dark already. My stomach rumbles and I realise that I haven't eaten anything since breakfast. Maybe I'd better ask Peeta if he has anything I could eat. That's a stupid thing to think, since Peeta's a baker. Of course he'll have something edible to eat. I laugh a little, then continue to lather shampoo through my hair. It got all tangled and dirty earlier. Like I've said before, I'm not used to having my hair down, as it's normally in a braid. However, the cameras like it down, so my hair is usually flowing down my back. I push my head under the shower, running my hands through my hair to wash away all the suds. They swirl down the drain in a circular motion which I'd never noticed before. The notion fascinates me. I find myself staring at the drain in silence. The luxuries of my new life continue to amaze me. You really do learn something new every day, I find myself thinking. I step out of the shower and wrap a fluffy towel around me. I look for my clothes, then realise I have none. Oops. I cautiously walk out onto the landing and call downstairs.

"Peeta, do you have any clothes? Obviously mine are all dirty and…you know."

"What was that?" Peeta shouts back. "I didn't hear what you said. Give me a second and I'll be up."

"No!" I shout back in a panicked voice. "You don't need to come up…" Then suddenly he appears in front of me and I jump a little, clutching my towel tightly to my body.

"Katniss, you're not dressed!" Peeta sounds surprised and I see his cheeks flush a little.

"I know." I say, rolling my eyes. "That's what I was asking you for."

"Right." Peeta replies, heading into his room. I hear him rummaging around in drawers. "Give me a minute." The sound continues then he comes out, a small pile in his arms. "I don't really know what'll fit. I mean, you're tiny and I'm…not. Try whatever you want, you never know." He smiles awkwardly then bundles the clothes into my arms. I catch them, whilst trying to keep the towel on my body. Peeta practically runs downstairs, telling me he'll make some food for me. Right. That's just an excuse not to see my body. I don't really blame him. I'm too slim from starving all my life, the Games did nothing to help that either. I may be strong, but any curves I may have had were stolen from me before I could even claim them. Seam girls used to be jealous of Merchant girls, for they had curves where Seam girls did not. Merchant girls had flowing, shiny hair, whilst Seam girls had dark and greasy hair, for the luckier ones only had a bath once a week. I never used to be one of the Seam girls who envied the others, for my physical appearance didn't bother me. I only cared about keeping us alive and making sure that we were presentable to escape the horror of the Community Home. However, now I find that it bothers me. I blame the Capitol. Their obsession with appearance is starting to rub off and me, and I can't tell whether that's a good thing or not. I try on the majority of the clothes Peeta handed to me, before I decide on a t-shirt that doesn't drown me, and a pair of soft cotton bottoms. I think they're supposed to be pyjamas but oh well. They'll do for now. I roll up the bottoms on the trousers because they are so long, I know I'd trip in them if I tried to walk in them. I shuffle slowly down the stairs and into his kitchen because I can smell food cooking. I sit down at the table and Peeta stands up from taking something out of the oven. It looks like roasted wild dog meat, but smells loads better.

"You took a long time." He comments, swiftly cutting the meat with such precision, you'd think he'd done it a million times before. "Are you okay?" I smile a little at his concern. I'm not used to people looking after me.

"I'm fine." I say quietly. "A little shaken, but I'll soldier on. I have to, for my family's sake." Peeta places a steaming plate in front of me. It's the unknown meat with potatoes and vegetables, covered in gravy.

"Stupid question." Peeta says, shaking his head. I go to devour the delicious-smelling meal and his hand stops me. I stare at him questioningly. Why would he stop me eating? "Go slowly Katniss. It's hot." I frown at him. It doesn't change anything. I shrug rebelliously then spoon in a big mouthful. I swallow it then choke a little, my eyes streaming. Peeta raises his eyebrows, waiting with a smug look on his face.

"Okay, you win." I splutter in defeat. His smug smile grows even more, till it practically takes over his face.

"I told you so!" He chuckles, eating his own food. I smile at his childish manner then resume eating. I take a bite of the meat and my head tips back in satisfaction.

"Wow, this is amazing," I mumble. "What is it?" Peeta looks at me strangely.

"Haven't you ever tried beef before?"

"I don't think so." I murmur, trying to recall if I ever had anything as tantalising as this. "I thought it was wild dog meat because it looks like this, but nothing has ever tasted as good as this. Except maybe lamb stew!" I laugh, remembering the little dish of heaven from the Capitol. That was one of the only things I ever liked about the Capitol; its food was excellent. I look down and realise that my plate is completely empty.

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it." Peeta replies, picking up my plate and taking it over to the sink. He begins to wash up the dirty pots, and I find myself rushing to help him. We clean the kitchen in silence but it's not awkward. There's a smart knock at the door and Effie walks in.

"Good, I thought I'd find you two here. You're wanted on set. Spit spot!" She smiles, then marches right out, leaving the front door open. I stare at Peeta in a panic. I can't face the cameras. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. In an instant, he's there. I'm wrapped in his arms. I bury my face into his chest, letting his strength become mine. For a split second, it works. For a second, I'm happy and peaceful. He breaks the silence with his voice, low and reassuring.

"You can do this Katniss. You're strong and amazing. I believe in you." His words resonate within me. They give me the strength to carry on.

"Okay." I whisper. We leave the house together and go into mine. We are quickly briefed on what to do. The want to make it so that we are so desperate to see each other, to be together, that we are prepared to do anything for each other. When we filmed the dinner scene, Peeta was given a note to give to me. Then I head to head up to my bedroom to begin filming. I sit in my bed and take a deep breath. I can do this.

I open up Peeta's note, crinkled from being held for so long. It reads _Katniss, my darling. I cannot be without you. I simply can't bear the thought of you not with me, not in my arms. I worry about you when I don't see you, for I can't protect you. So, with that as my excuse, may I meet you tonight? Meet me between my house and yours. I'd wait for you all night if I had to. _

_Your love, _

_Peeta xxx_

In spite of me knowing I'm on film, I can't help but smile. His words, exaggerated as they are, still have a hidden meaning. I clutch the note close to my heart and smile.

"I must go to him." I say to the camera. I get into bed and close my eyes, waiting until my mother and Prim go to bed. In reality, I only have to lie here for a few seconds; the camera crew will edit the rest. I sneak downstairs, with the camera's following my every move. I pause outside my mother's room and move extra slowly. In reality, she's downstairs. I fucking hate acting, I think grimly. Why can't we film our real lives? But then I wouldn't want that either. Too invasive of privacy. I carry on out of the door only in my pyjamas, wishing I'd stopped to put on a coat. Then I see Peeta, his silhouette highlighted by the dim porch light nearby.

"Peeta!" I breathe, and he envelops me in his arms.

"My love." He returns, burying his face in my hair. I continue to hang off him like a monkey for a few minutes, until we eventually break apart. We are far away enough to have space between us, but we stand closer than friends would.

"I missed you." I tell him, sticking to the script. Lato doesn't mind when we say something different, since he reckons that feels normal and natural. I however, consistently struggle with what to say, so I find it easier to say what I'm supposed to.

"I missed you too." He replies. "I need you like the world needs the sun. I need you like I need air to breathe. You are everything to me."

"Peeta," I gasp. "You put my feelings into words. When I don't know what to say, you are always there. You mean more to me, more than words can ever say." I recite my lines, trying to inspire passion into my voice. Peeta says no more, he wraps his arms around me and kisses me. We kiss for a long time and I move my hands to his hair. All the while, I'm thinking about how much I hate this. Not kissing Peeta, but acting. I feel like a liar. All I want to do is push him away, run to the woods and hide. No-one, nothing around me, and then my life would be perfect. I wouldn't have to worry about my family, about Peeta and Gale, about anything at all. I'd be as free as bird, free to dance and soar in the sky, away from the prison that is my life. I'm brought out of my musing by Peeta. He is one of the only spots of light in this world. He makes being in my prison better. Gazing into his eyes, I can forget my troubles, for they fade and swirl in his cerulean pools. I smile at him softly. I must play my part. We all must do. For we, Victors of the Hunger Games, people in the districts, we are nothing but part of the machine. Cogs, whirling and turning under the hands of President Snow. I hear the sounds of "Cut!" and break apart from Peeta, yet at the same time, I do not feel anything. I am sick and tired of this life, of living like a liar, and yet I cannot break free from it anymore than anyone else.

**Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this! Anyone notice the Mary Poppins reference I put in there? (Wink) Sorry this is two weeks yet, but I didn't have any new ideas. Since this story needs moving on a little bit, there'll be a little time jump in the next chapter. I don't want to do this but I'll have to, otherwise it'll be chapter 500 knowing me by the time we get to Catching Fire events. Please review this, I can never tell you guys how much it means to me to get a review, good or bad. I welcome everything! So please review!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	22. Kitten

**Author's Note: I can't believe we've finally arrived at this point. It's been a year since I began this fanfiction, and it's amazing how far it's come. When I first began this, it was a little idea I had, that I wanted to write down. Once I'd written it, I realised I wanted others to read it so I posted to fanfiction. To be honest, I thought no-one would read it, and I thought that those who did would tell me it was awful! I can't thank you all enough for sticking with this story, for believing in it, for believing in me. I've grown so much as an author, as a person, and it's all down to you guys. Thank you, and we'll see what this story has in store for next year!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or anything from Hunger Games. It is the property of Suzanne Collins.**

_I am sick and tired of this life, of living like a liar, and yet I cannot break free from it anymore than anyone else._

Chapter 22

Three tedious weeks pass and every day is the same. Wake up, be prepped, film stupid scenes that are so unrealistic, eat, sleep then repeat. I find myself getting desperate for any opportunity to get some fresh air. I crave the solitude of the woods, yet I am trapped indoors with my family and the camera crew. The only things that have stopped me going crazy are my family and Peeta. However, after a few weeks, I get sick of their constant presence. Thankfully, there is only eight days left of filming. Then, the cameras will leave and I will be left in peace to get on with my life. Well, until the Victory Tour anyway, which starts in four months. It seems like a long time, but I know it'll fly by, and before I know it, I'll be bundled into a train and paraded around Panem like a trained dog. I sigh, getting out of bed and staring out of my window, looking longingly at the woods. I open the window and inhale deeply through my nose, smelling the scent of approaching autumn. There's a quiet knock on the door then my mother enters with a pile of clothes in her arms. She gently places them on the bed and looks at the open window strangely.

"Shut the window Katniss, its freezing!" She says, rubbing her arms in a futile attempt to keep warm. "You ought to get dressed. The crew will be here soon and you've got a special visitor today, so make sure you look presentable!" She smiles a little, and then leaves the room. I shake out the clothes and dress quickly, uncaring of what they look like. If they were chosen for me, then they'll probably look decent. I braid my hair, and then head downstairs. Breakfast is a quiet affair, with just my mother and Prim eating silently around the kitchen table. I take a pastry out of the basket and bite into it. It tastes like pure heaven. It's golden and flaky, practically crumbling in my mouth. It has strawberry jam inside of it, which makes the pastry have a unique taste.

"What's this?" I ask my family.

"I don't know," my mother replies. "I haven't tried one yet." She takes a bite of one, and a delighted smile crosses her face. "You're right Katniss, this is absolutely delicious!"

"They are!" Prim agrees. "I don't know what they either, so you ought to ask Peeta."

"Peeta made these?" I ask incredulously. I knew he was an excellent baker, but I'd no idea he was capable of creating perfection like this!

"Well, I guess he did." Prim replies. "They were on the doorstep when I went out to feed Lady, so I think he made them. Face it, what other baker's do you know that would you leave goods on the doorstep?" Prim rolls her eyes, and then walks over to the sink with her dirty plate. There's a knock on the door, and my mother gets up quickly.

"That must be the crew." She says, hurrying to the door. All the usual people file in, and then someone unexpected walks in, his sketchbook tucked under his arm.

"Cinna!" I gasp, flying over to him and hugging him tightly.

"Hello, Girl on Fire." After a few seconds, he releases me, then goes to greet my mother and Prim.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"Well, there's a special event coming up for the last week of filming and I've been asked to design you another dress." I smile happily.

"I thought that once I won the Games, I wouldn't see you again!"

"Well, that's normally true," He replies. "However, since you look so beautiful in my designs, I've been asked to be your permanent designer. Is that okay?"

"It's more than okay!" I say, hugging him again. Cinna was such a comfort to me before the Games; I would have been devastated if I hadn't seen him again. He takes me upstairs to get ready, followed by my prep team. When I head back downstairs, my hair is in a bun, with a few placed tendrils framing my face. I'm wearing a long-sleeved dress for the chilly weather along with smart heels. I carefully walk down the stairs, grasping the banister in case I fall. After all this time, I've still not learnt to walk in heels. I feel sorry for Peeta when I wear them, for I grip his arm so tightly I'm pretty sure I stop all circulation. He still doesn't complain. He appears at the foot of the stairs and whilst I walk down, I take the time to appreciate his appearance. He's wearing black trousers that fit his legs, and a blue buttoned shirt. The colour of his shirt makes his eyes stand out, and I stare into them, lost in the depth of them. On one of the steps, my ankle wobbles and it's enough to send me flying. My hand reaches out for the banister but it's too late. I tumble down the stairs and into his arms. I blink rapidly. The room is spinning around me, yet his face remains constant. I try to focus on the feel of his arms around me. I breathe in deeply, the smell of his cologne surrounding me and making me dizzier. I vaguely hear something but I don't register what was said. I open my eyes more fully and realise I'm lying on the floor, my head cradled in Peeta's lap. I look up and grin lazily.

"Hey…" Peeta shakes his head laughing.

"Hey Katniss. You do realise you nearly passed out?"

"Did I?" My voice sounds far away and dreamy. I smile again.

"Katniss, are you okay? You're acting weird."

"I'm fine." I reply. "Can I stand up? I'll feel better then." Peeta bites his lip.

"I'm not sure if you should. Maybe you ought to stay here for a while." I stare up at him and he looks down at me with a concerned expression.

"I don't mind." I tell him. He's warm and strong and the feel of his hands in my hair are intoxicating. Not that I'll ever tell him that. My mother arrives and asks me a few questions. As she talks, I feel my vision return to normal and I don't feel dizzy anymore.

"Really mother, I'm fine." Annoyed with all this questioning, I start to stand up. Peeta realises what I am doing and moves away from me. I stand awkwardly. I look down and realise that during my fall, one of the heels had snapped. Peeta bends down and picks up both parts of the shoe.

"Wow." He says smirking. "What could you have been thinking about to get so distracted that you break your shoe?" He looks into my eyes, daring me to reply. He knows that I was looking at him. He knows. I sigh inwardly. Fuck my life.

When I finally convince everyone I'm okay, filming continues. I just follow through on the script, occasionally adding something personal to make it believable. On the outside, I'm smiling, on the inside, I'm screaming. I don't even know what I'm saying, or what's going on. I feel restlessness building up inside me. I want to run. I want to be outside in fresh air surrounded by cool forest. I feel sweat beading on my forehead and my heart begins to pound uncontrollably under my dress. Peeta, who's standing across from me, notices something wrong. He says my name in concern, his hand on my forehead.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine!" I snap at him angrily. I'm so sick of people asking me if I'm okay. I can take care of myself! Peeta draws back and I see the hurt expression on his face. Now I feel so guilty.

"I'm sorry," I tell him sincerely. "I shouldn't have snapped." He smiles.

"You're forgiven. Though just remember, you owe me now." I frown at him.

"Owe you?"

"Yeah." He replies, a mischievous smirk growing on his face. "Say if I want a kiss, then you have to give me one, whatever the circumstances. And I can ask for a kiss whenever I like. Do we have a deal…_Kitten_?" The way he says the last part, it makes me squirm. He knows that I hate pet names, but when he called me Kitten…there are no words.

"Erm…" I temporarily lose my voice for a second. "I guess we do." I smile shyly. He holds out his hand and we shake hands to seal the deal.

"Well _Kitten, _I look forward to you upholding your side of the bargain?" He smirks then walks off into the kitchen. I stare after him, my legs feeling a little shaky and weak. Normally, the deals I make are about food or household items, not…kisses. But I must admit, I definitely don't hate this bargain.

"Hiya Kitten!" Prim says sneakily, dumping her school bag on the sofa. She snaps me out of my dream-like state and I whirl round to look at her.

"How did you know about that?" I ask her, my eyes wide with shock.

"Well, I was coming in from school, and I may have overheard your conversation. You two are sooo cute by the way!" She giggles. I try to reach for her but she dances out of the way.

"Katniss and Peeta, sitting in a tree, K-I" She continues singing. I chase after her before Peeta can hear her.

"Prim!" I hiss. "Stop, before Peeta hears you!" She smirks, and continues to sing even louder. I chase her round and round the living room, before a strong pair of arms catches her as she runs past the living room door.

"Hello Prim." Peeta chuckles. She looks up at him, shocked and tries to wriggle out of his grasp, but Peeta's having none of it.

"What's this I hear about you singing a lovely song about me and Katniss?"

"Erm, well I…" She stutters. She turns to me, her big blue eyes pleading. "Katniss, help me!" I shake my head at her, stifling laughter.

"You got yourself into this Prim, I can't help you now!" Peeta looks at me, silently communicating with me. I creep forward, and then we converge on Prim, tickling her sides. She crumples to the floor and begins rocking backwards and forwards on the carpet.

"Stop, please!" She begs, her voice breaking off into peals of laughter. Peeta and I look at each other, and then we continue to tickle her mercilessly.

"Ahem." My mother's calm voice comes from the doorway. We stop and glance at each other, guilt on our faces. "Stand up." Mother says, walking over to us. We stand in a line, staring at her. Even though she's smaller than both Peeta and I, she made us both shrink in size.

"What do you think you were all doing?" She says, narrowing her eyes at us.

"Katniss and I were tickling Prim, Mrs Everdeen." Peeta says guiltily.

"And Katniss, why were you tickling Primrose?" My mother paces up and down in front of us. With every step, I felt like I wanted to sink into my shoes.

"We were tickling her because she called me Kitten." I say quietly.

"Primrose, why did you call Katniss Kitten?" Mother asks her, standing in front of her and staring her down with steely blue eyes.

"I called her Kitten because Peeta called her it." Prim says. My mother looks confused for a second.

"Katniss, what I don't understand, is why it's okay for Peeta to call you Kitten, but it's not okay for Prim to do it?" Prim pipes up mischievously.

"Katniss likes being called Kitten by Peeta cos she lo…" She trails off as I kick her leg to stop her talking.

"Katniss!" My mother shouts angrily. "I don't want to ever see you hit your sister again. Katniss, Peeta, go to Katniss's room. I want you both to think about your actions. Don't come down until it's time for dinner." She takes both of us by our arms and pushes us out of the door. "Go." She tells us sternly. We walk up the stairs in silence and enter my room. We sit on the sofa, take one look at each other then burst into giggles.

"I can't believe your mother told us off!" Peeta chuckles.

"I know!" I reply. "Shh, she'll hear us. The kitchen is right below my room!" Peeta nods in understanding.

"We'd better be quiet then." Peeta whispers. "I think I'd like to start off our deal. Can I have that kiss now?" He asks cheekily. I stare at him. The thought of kissing him again makes me feel…nervous, anticipated, excited.

"Yes." I whisper in reply. We lean in, then my lips touch his, and the whole world spins away in a second.

**Author's Note: There you go guys, hope you liked it. After all the recent drama, I thought it'd be nice to have a fluffy cute chapter. And who knows, maybe Katniss's nickname is here to stay? Leave me a review to let me know what you think. They are much appreciated. Would just like to take a moment to thank anyone who's ever favourited or followed this story or ever left a review. You guys make my day!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	23. An Awkward Encounter

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! It's nice to be back. How were your Christmas holidays? Mine were pretty great. I love spending time with my family. It's very important to spend time with your loved ones, and I don't think enough people realise it. Happy new year everyone! Hope it's a good one!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Hunger Games. It is the property of Suzanne Collins. **

_We lean in, then my lips touch his, and the whole world spins away in a second._

Chapter 23

"Katniss, Peeta, time for dinner!" My mother's voice floats up the stairs. We break apart and look at each other. I feel a blush crawl up my chest and flush my cheeks.

"You're so beautiful when you blush." Peeta murmurs, taking my face in his. He says it so quietly that it makes me question if I imagined it. I bite my lip nervously. The air between us grows thicker by the second until he suddenly gets up and moves away from me. I stand up and smooth down my grey woollen dress.

"We…We should probably go downstairs." I say breathlessly.

"Come on then…_Kitten_." Peeta smirks, leaving my bedroom. Not this again, I sigh. A shiver goes throughout my body. I wrap my arms around my torso and try to gain some sanity. What just happened? I ask myself. I close my eyes and take three deep breaths, in and out, in and out. It seems to help. I look in the mirror and see my hair is dishevelled from when Peeta ran his hands through it. I take the bun out and let my hair fall naturally around me. I brush a few strands away from my face and cautiously walk downstairs, remembering the events of this morning. I head into the dining room and sit down in the chair next to Peeta. I avoid his gaze. I know if I look at him, I don't know what I'll do.

"Smells good." I tell my mother, to distract myself. She turns and smiles a little.

"Thank you. I made it this morning." She replies. "It's steak pie."

"Well, I'm sure it'll be lovely." Peeta tells her smoothly. I look around the kitchen and notice that the table has extra chairs around it.

"Who's coming to dinner?" I ask curiously.

"The Hawthorne's." Prim says, getting plates out of the cupboard. "Oh, and Haymitch." I groan, sinking back into my seat. Fantastic. I'm sure this evening will be great, with his sarcastic comments around. Don't Prim and my mother know that by this time, he'll just have started drinking? Once he recovers from his hangover from the previous night, he usually starts drinking within the next few hours. I'm sure he will be less than agreeable. I sneak a glance at Peeta out of the corner of my eye. His expression is unreadable, but his fists are clasped tightly together on his lap, betraying how tense he is. To my mother and Prim, he probably looks impassive and calm, but I know differently. He is probably worried about the Hawthorne's coming. The last time he saw them, he was giving them a parcel with a kind look on his face, so he has no quarrel with them. Gale, however, is a different story. The last time he saw him; Gale had attacked him and knocked me to the ground, leaving me with bruises. He doesn't know that Gale and I have made up since then. I have to get him on his own, to tell him that Gale and I are friends, however tentative the relationship may be.

"Peeta." I say anxiously, tugging on his sleeve. "I…" I don't have chance to finish my sentence before Haymitch staggers in through the back door.

"Hello!" He says gruffly then lets out a loud burp. "Pardon." He mumbles, shrugging of his coat. Prim takes it wordlessly, and then escapes into the hall.

"Good evening, Mr Abernathy." My mother says cordially, showing him to his seat. He sits down at one end of the table, glancing around the kitchen, probably checking to see if there is any alcohol available.

"How many times?" He grumbles. "Call me Haymitch. No-one's called me Mr Abernathy for over twenty years; I don't want people to start now." My mother nods a little.

"Fair enough. Haymitch, we're having steak pie for dinner. Is that okay?" She asks a little anxiously.

"Smells decent enough." He replies sniffing the air appreciatively. "Does it have ale in it?"

"It might do." My mother replies wryly. "Just remember that there are young children eating this, so it doesn't have much."

"I don't care." Haymitch says grinning. "Ale is ale, don't matter how much is in the damn thing." He chuckles. I smile a little at his antics. The atmosphere is comfortable and happy. There is a quiet knock on the front door.

"That'll be the Hawthorne's. Katniss, will you get the door?" My mother asks, her knife crunching into the pie. Dark liquid spills out, filling the room with a rich smell. I glance at Peeta and he looks at me. He smiles a little but it doesn't reach his eyes. Sadly, I turn away from him and open the door. The Hawthorne's are gathered in the doorstep, ragged coats covering their tiny bodies. I open the door wider and usher them inside. Hazelle and Posy give me quick hugs and the boys tip their hats. They all go into the kitchen and I stare after them, thinking that Gale decided not to come after all. Suddenly, out of the shadows he emerges, his tall figure highlighted in the dim porch light.

"Hello Katniss." He says.

"Hi." I reply. We may have salvaged our friendship but that doesn't mean I forgive him for everything he's done. He did attack me after all. He smiles awkwardly, and then heads into the kitchen. I shut out the cold night air then follow him through. We all sit at the table, eating the delicious food. At times, the room is pleasant, full of laughter and joy and other times, it is filled with awkward silences.

"So, Hazelle, how is your laundry business coming along?" My mother asks to break the silence. Hazelle finishes her mouthful, then daintily wipes her lips, obviously trying to impress.

"Well, it's doing excellent as a matter of fact. Since people have heard that we are supposedly the family of the Everdeen's, I've been swamped with laundry. It's almost getting to be too much! So, our situation is much better, with Gale now earning proper wages," She says, laying a proud hand on Gale's arm. "It's almost time for him to start looking for a wife."

"Mother!" Gale snaps, embarrassed.

"Oh it's only natural honey. Once you've got a steady income, you become husband material. Why I married your father by the time he was twenty." My mother nods in agreement.

"What a fine husband he was Hazelle. I'm sure Gale will be the same." They laugh together, my mother's tinkling and sweet, and Hazelle's rough and motherly. The table lapses back into an awkward silence. I look down at my plate, pushing the remaining food around with my fork. Are they trying to suggest that Gale will marry me? For everyone's sake, I hope not. I'd be a terrible wife. I never want to marry, nor have children. It's far too dangerous in this world. Now I'm a Victor, it'd be a certainty that my child would be sent into the Games. I could never do that to a child. It just re-enforces in my mind that I shouldn't ever fall in love. I glance over at Peeta, who's chatting with Prim and feel terrible. No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to keep him away. I sigh inwardly. I have to try, for his sake and mine. At any rate, even if I wanted to fall in love, he deserves someone far better than me, someone who is beautiful and will light up his life with love and happiness. That's what Peeta deserves, not someone like me, someone surly and uncaring. Trying to think of other things, I help my mother clear the plates and begin washing up.

"So Katniss, have you and Peeta thought about your earlier actions?" My mother questions, handing me a dishcloth.

"Yes Mrs Everdeen." Peeta says smoothly. "Katniss and I had a session of self-criticism and repentance." I drop the dish I was cleaning, soaking me with soapy water. He looks me in the eye, a cheeky look twinkling in his eyes. Fortunately, my mother didn't see.

"Good. Perhaps it will teach you two not to be so awful to Primrose. Katniss, go put on something else. You're soaked to the bone." I look down, and see my grey dress has turned nearly black as a result of Peeta's cheeky remark. I nod at my mother and then rush out of the room into my bedroom. I lean against the door, breathing in the cool refreshing air of my bedroom. It's so warm in that kitchen, it's made my cheeks flush with the heat. I pick some blue trousers and put them on.

"So Sweetheart," I hear Haymitch's voice behind me.

"Haymitch? Get out!" I shriek, remembering that. I grab the first shirt I see and quickly pull it over my head.

"Oh for goodness sake, Sweetheart. I've seen you at your best and at your worst. Do ya really think I care whether you're dressed?"

"I don't care!" I yell angrily. "You have no right to come in here like you own the place!" Haymitch rolls his eyes and plonks himself down on my sofa.

"Whatever. I'm past caring about your opinions. All I wanna know is, what's going on with you and the boy?" I turn and look at him.

"What boy do you mean?" I ask him innocently.

"You know full well which boy I mean. Don't play innocent with me. So answer my damn question. What's going on?" I grab a hair tie and braid my hair.

"I'm not sure." I answer honestly. And I'm not. These last few days, they've been both confusing and eye-opening. Sometimes, I feel so happy with Peeta and he's the only one that can make me smile and forget about all the bad things. Then other times, all I can think about is how selfish I'm being, spending all my time with him when I may not have feelings for him. It makes me feel like I'm using him, and I don't like it. I really need to spend some time on my own and think about things. Perhaps I could go to the lake. That's a peaceful place where I could think things out. I make a mental note to head to the lake as soon as I get the opportunity. I finish braiding my hair and turn and Haymitch is there, staring at me, a look of anger on his face.

"You'd better be sure Katniss. Peeta is not a toy, one you can play with and discard whenever you want. He's a real person, with feelings. And I'm not about to let you hurt him again. Figure out your feelings. Then you either be with him, and love him as best as you can with that stone in your chest, or you leave him well alone and only be with him when you have to. But you can't keep playing with him, and that's the end of it." Then he storms out the room and I collapse to the floor, burying my head in my knees. I know Haymitch is only trying to look out for us both, but his words sting. They make me think, about what an awful person I am, and the thought makes me cry. I don't set out to hurt everyone and upset them. It just happens. I'm sure that if I died, it would be the best thing for everyone. Prim and my mother would grieve for a while then move on, they could be happy together. Both Gale and Peeta would realize how stupid they were to like me, and then they'd move on and live happy lives. As for President Snow, he'd be over the moon. To be honest, he'd probably throw a massive party to celebrate my death. I wouldn't be missed by anyone. Death would be peaceful I think, and then I could watch over everyone and protect them from above. I sigh. Wouldn't it be great if life worked out that way? Unfortunately it doesn't. I cry harder, wishing I could make everything better and find a way to stop hurting everyone.

"Katniss?" Prim's small voice comes from the other side of the door. I wipe my eyes and try to make it sound like I haven't been bawling my eyes out.

"What is it Prim?" I ask her. She never replies. My door opens and her tiny arms come around me and she hugs me tight.

"It'll all be okay Katniss. Everything will work out, I promise." I release myself from her grip and drag my hand across my face.

"How can you know that Prim?" I ask her in a tiny voice.

"Because I have faith in you." She tells me gently. "You'll do the right thing. You always do. C'mon, let's go back downstairs before they start to miss you." I stand up, and she leads me down the hallway, stopping at the bathroom to get a cloth. She gently washes my face until it's impossible to tell that I've been crying. Then we head back downstairs and I sit in my seat. No-one really notices, except Peeta. I feel his hand touch mine, asking me what's wrong. I look at him and smile weakly.

"I'm fine, honestly. I just changed my clothes and had a word with Haymitch, that's all." He frowns a little, his eyes hardening and sliding over to Haymitch. Haymitch lifts his glass to him and winks a little. Peeta looks back at me.

"What did he say to you?" He asks suspiciously.

"Oh, he just asked where my mother keeps her alcohol." I say, trying to keep my heartbeat under control. I hate lying. I just can't do it convincingly. Peeta's eyes bore into mine, seeming to look straight through my lie.

"Hmmm," He mutters. "You can't lie to me Kitten. I'll find out the truth." The second he calls me kitten, I just melt. My whole body relaxes and I find myself smiling for no real reason. I hear a cough and jump, looking around the table. Everyone's staring at us; Prim is smiling sweetly, her hands clasped together. My mother, Hazelle and the rest of her family look on in astonishment. Haymitch smirks wickedly and Gale, well, he's glaring at the table like he wants to murder it. _If looks could kill, _I think sarcastically.

"Well, we'd better be off." Hazelle murmurs, standing up. "I just remembered I've left some wild turkey in the oven."

"But Mamma," Posy protests.

"No Posy!" Hazelle snaps. Posy's face contorts and she bursts into tears. Hazelle's worn face softens for a second, and she lays a calloused hand onto her daughter's hair. "I'm sorry pet, I didn't mean to snap. We just really need to go, before the turkey burns. Get your coat from the hall, Katniss will show you." I stand up, taking the little girls hand and leading her into the hall. I help her with her coat, buttoning it up to her throat. It's cold outside, and they've got a long walk home. Posy looks at me, her dark hair falling into her eyes.

"Why do we have to go Katniss?" She asks. I smooth her hair back softly and smile sadly.

"I don't know." I tell her quietly. Even though I do. I mentally shake myself. How could I forget myself like that in front of everyone? I'm sure my mother will tell me off for it once everyone's left.

"Mamma didn't leave a turkey in the oven." Posy says determinedly.

"Maybe she did, and you didn't see." I tell her gently.

"But she didn't!" The small girl protests. Then her family comes through to the hall and they shrug on their coats.

"Thank you for the dinner, Mrs Everdeen, it was delicious!" Hazelle calls, herding her children out of the door and into the dark night. I watch them scurrying away, hurrying to get out of the cold. I hear footsteps behind me and turn. I'd know that light tread anywhere.

"So it's true then." Gale mutters darkly.

"What's true?" I ask him, confused.

"Oh come on Katniss. Everyone sat at that table could see it. Don't play dumb with me."

"I don't understand…" I tell him.

"For fuck's sake Katniss, I don't see why I should have to spell it out for you. But I tell you this; I'm not giving up on you. One day, you'll wake up and realize that I'm the one you need, the man that you love. You don't love him. I can see it in your eyes. You feel something else for me, and I'm gonna make you realize it." He comes closer to me, and I put my hand on his chest to stop him. He feels strong, but too slight under my hand. I can feel his bones. Unlike Peeta's chest, when all you feel is muscle. I know that's a result of living in the Seam and working too hard but still, I can't help comparing the two of them.

"Gale, no." I tell him firmly, pushing him away from me. "I don't want to kiss you."

"Oh really?" He murmurs. "You seemed to like it last time."

"You're deluded!" I shout angrily. "I don't know if you noticed, but last time I didn't respond and I shoved you off me! How that works out that I liked it, I don't know." Gale sighs heavily.

"I'd better go then. I have a shift tomorrow morning. One day you'll realize it Catnip, and I'll be waiting." He calls, and then leaves the house. I shake my head angrily at him. What the hell is going on tonight? I head back into the kitchen.

"The Hawthorne's have gone." I tell everyone.

"You were saying goodbye for a long time, weren't you Sweetheart?" Haymitch smirks. He downs the rest of his glass, slamming it onto the table. "Well, I think I've stirred up the shit-pot enough for one night. See ya." Then he goes out the back door. I feel anger rise in my chest. I hope he falls and forgets his way home. There's silence in the kitchen.

"Well, Primrose and I are going to bed. Don't stay up too long, you two." My mother says, escorting Prim out of the room.

"What did Haymitch mean?" Peeta asks me. I panic.

"Oh, I don't know." I reply, feeling flustered. "He's drunk; you have to take everything he says with a pinch of salt." Peeta nods, chuckling a little.

"Very true." He says. "I wonder what I said, the one and only time I was drunk?" He asks.

"Well, you didn't say much at all." I reply, trying to think back. When I think back on that incident all I remember is my fear and panic, my worry for Peeta, and the bath we shared. I'd never felt so peaceful and so relaxed. I wish I could feel that again, but I know it's out of the question.

"Did you kiss Gale?" Peeta asks suddenly. "Just now, I mean."

"No." I tell him firmly, wanting to set his mind at rest. "He tried to kiss me, but I told him I didn't want to." Peeta frowns.

"Did he force himself on you?" Peeta sounds angry.

"No!" I say forcefully. "Gale would never do anything like that!" Peeta just looks at me. I know what we are both remembering. I used to think that Gale was one of the nicest people in the world. A little hard to get to know maybe, but there's nothing wrong with that. Now, I've no idea what he will; do next. He's so unpredictable.

"Well, I'd best be off. I need to try and sleep. Of course, that's probably not going to happen, but what's the harm in trying." I walk him to the door, when he turns and hugs me. I stiffen in surprise, then relax and wrap my arms round him, burying my face in his shoulder.

"Goodnight Peeta." I whisper, not wanting to say goodbye.

"Night Katniss. I guess I'll see you tomorrow for filming." He says, rolling his eyes.

"We've only got a week left," I tell him. "Then it'll all be over and hopefully, life can go back to normal." It's a lie and he knows it, but the words make us both feel better, if only for a second. Peeta kisses my cheek, then leaves. I watch him walk down the street, his blonde hair shining for a second under the light of a lamp. I feel my heart break as I watch him go, missing his comforting presence already. I touch the spot on my cheek where he kissed me, and feel my cheekbones lift as I smile. I shut the door, locking it securely. Then I turn and head upstairs, hopefully to dream sweet dreams, but most likely to relieve my worst fears.

**Author's Note: Hey everyone, hope you enjoyed this chapter. We are getting closer and closer to Katniss, truly recognizing her feelings, but filming's got to finish first. I've got big plans for this story, and I can't wait to share them with you all!**

**Please review this story, they make my smile and I love and appreciate each and every one of them!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx **


	24. Lands Of Terror

**Author's Note: Hi everyone. I want to apologize for not updating sooner, but I've been really busy and I haven't been in a creative mood lately. However, it's come flooding back so it thought I'd best get it out of my system. **** Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Hunger Games, it belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

_Then I turn and head upstairs, hopefully to dream sweet dreams, but most likely to relieve my worst fears. _

Chapter 24

_I feel the glass tube surround me, trapping me in the tiny space. I close my eyes, trying to focus and calm myself. Remember what Haymitch told me. Don't go into the bloodbath. Find shelter and water. Don't light a fire at night. Stay away from the careers as much as possible. Don't trust anyone. Then I think about Peeta. Are we allies? Are we enemies? Who knows? I guess I'll find out, I think dryly. For now, I'll have to assume we're enemies. This is a life and death situation I'm heading into. I have to stay alive. I have to survive, for my mother and Prim. I feel the tube start to rise, and my breathing escalates. Calm down! Breathe, breathe. In and out. Focus. Think about surviving in the wild. Remember what I learnt in training. Knots, berries, fires. I need to find a bow. If I can get a bow, I can survive. However, the chances of me coming across one without going into the Cornucopia to get it are very slim. I'll just have to hope that I have a later opportunity to get it. If I'm still alive by then. No, don't think like that! Survive and focus. Stay alive. _

_I emerge out of the darkness to blinding light. I stand on my podium, squinting in the sunlight, trying to make my eyes adjust. I see the Cornucopia, the golden horn glittering in the sunlight. My eyes roam over the other twenty-three tributes all bent low, ready to run, ready to fight, ready to survive. I hear the countdown, my eyes rapidly scanning the surrounding area. I see woods, and slightly shift the direction my body is facing. I turn away from the bloodbath. The countdown ends and the Games begin. The tributes all sprint to the Cornucopia, immediately battling each other. Someone drops to the floor, his brown eyes wide and unblinking, staring at me. He's dead. Already. We're not even a minute in and someone is already dead. I realize I'll be next if I don't move. I'm still stood motionless on my podium, body angled towards the woods. I will my legs to move and I stumble forward, landing on the grass, fingers scraping through the dirt. I scramble upwards and run, run for my life. I sprint towards the woods and breathe out a sigh of relief when I'm past the tree line. I slow down my sprint to a jog. I need to keep a decent pace for the next few hours. I jog past the trees, weaving in and out. I constantly change direction, so my path will be untraceable. After a few hours, I sink down to the ground. I'm covered in sweat. I unzip my jacket, leaving me in just my black t-shirt. I lean my head against a nearby tree, dragging my hand across my forehead. I look around me, trying to recognize something, anything but no such luck. I look up and smile at the sight of a blue sky. No rain in sight. That's good. It'll be easier for me to find shelter and food. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a branch hanging over me. A nest is directly above my head. I freeze in panic. These could be ordinary wasps, and I might have a chance of getting away undetected. However, this is the Hunger Games. Of course they're not going to be ordinary wasps. I cock my head to one side and listen. The buzzing gives it away. These are tracker-jackers, wasps that can kill you in an instant. Ever so slowly, I pull on my jacket, knowing I'll need it when the nights grow cold. I decide to crawl away from the nest. Granted, it may not be the quickest method, but hopefully it will make me less of a threat. The bigger I am, the larger the chance of being attacked. I lower myself to my knees and slowly crawl across the forest floor like a child who has not learned to walk. A little clumsily and undignified but I'm not trying to look graceful for the cameras. Chances are, they aren't even looking at me, not whilst the bloodbath still continues behind me. I pause for a second, listening to the buzzing, trying to guess where the tracker-jackers are. The buzzing is definitely louder. That means they are close to me. All I want is to get up and run, but I know that will make me a bigger target. So against all my instincts to flee, I force my body to stay close to the ground. I try to move as fast as I can. If another tribute finds me, I'm dead. This spurs me on as the buzzing around me gets louder and louder until I'm forced to acknowledge it. I stand and run, trying to get away from the tracker-jackers. I'm now their target, and they'll never give up the chase. So this is how I'll die, I think. Stung to death by deadly wasps. Doesn't that sound great? I keep running but I feel them growing ever closer. I feel a sting in the back of my neck. It knocks me off balance and I stumble for a few steps, my hand automatically reaching for the back of my neck. I feel the lump beginning to swell under my hands. I force my hands away from my sting and tell myself to keep running. The venom is already making me woozy. My vision is hazy at the edges. Peeta steps out behind a tree and runs alongside me._

"_What are you doing?" I say to him, my voice breathless and panicked. _

"_Same thing as you." He replies. "Trying to get away from killer wasps." He grabs my sweaty hand and I take it gratefully, both of us helping the other to get away. We run for what feels like hours. _

"_It's no use." I tell him. "They'll keep going till we give up." Peeta's head turns to look at me, his blonde locks falling into his eyes. I see something in them, something that finally breaks. We run till we find a pond and we both splash into the water, gasping for breath. _

"_Don't move from here." He tells me. "You'll be safe here Katniss." I stare at him. What is he talking about? He's staying with me…isn't he? "Just promise me one thing, remember me." He smiles at me, a sad smile, but a smile that holds so much emotion it brings tears to my eyes. _

"_Peeta, wait!" I scream, but it's no use. He doesn't turn. He splashes out of the pond, his clothes wet and clinging to him. He runs back into the forest, into the direction we came. It takes a second for it to hit me. He's going to sacrifice himself for me! Perhaps what he said in the interview was true. I'd never considered it might be. I thought it was just a tactic, just a way to gain sponsors. Now I realize. I have to stop him. I start to move, to get out of the pond. I rush after him, only to stop dead in my tracks. He's right in front of them. The tracker-jackers swarm around him in an instant. I hear him cry out in pain, one long heart-breaking sound. The wasps go lower to the ground and I know he has fallen. A canon booms in the distance…_

"No!" I screech. "No, no, no!" I leap out of bed and curl into the corner, my hands fisting into my hair and tugging hard. The pain registers, but I can't stop screaming, crying his name, calling out for him. I can still see his face, resigned as he heads to his death. I can hear the buzzing of the tracker-jackers; hear his cries of pain, circling round and round in my mind. "No!" I scream, yelling out his name into the silence of the night. My mother bursts into the room, her eyes swiveling around the room frantically. She spots me, my body crammed into the corner and her comforting arms are around me in an instant.

"Katniss, it's okay! It was just a nightmare!" She says comfortingly over and over. It doesn't help.

"Where is he?" I gasp. "I need to find him. Is he okay?" My mother looks stricken.

"I promise that Peeta's okay." She tells me softly.

"How do you know that?!" I screech at her. Her hand clamps around my mouth, reducing my panic-stricken screams to whimpers.

"Shh!" She says angrily. "Do you want to wake Primrose? That poor girl hasn't had one decent night's sleep since you came back. Do you know how worried she has been? How worried I've been?" This silences my whimpers to a broken whisper.

"I need to see him mother." My mother's ice-blue eyes fix on me. They are pale and watery, but stern and serious at the same time.

"No you don't." She says. "Peeta is fast asleep in his own house. Do you really think it's fair to wake him just because you had a nightmare?"

"But…" I protest weakly, my body sagging limply in her surprisingly strong grasp.

"No buts." She tells me sternly. "I'm going to make you a cup of tea with some lavender and lemon balm. It'll help you sleep, I promise."

"I don't want to sleep." I reply, shaking a little at the thought of heading back into the land of terror.

"Katniss, you need to sleep." My mother says gently, sitting beside me on the sofa. I shake my head stubbornly. I will not sleep. I will not sleep. I will not sleep. My mother sighs a little and goes into the kitchen. I hear bottles clinking softly. I stare at the fireplace, cold and dark, last night's ash still loitering beneath the charred logs. A few minutes later, a steaming cup is pressed into my hands.

"Drink." A soft voice tells me. I bite my lip. The heat from the cup is beginning to seep through to my chilled fingers. I raise the cup to my lip and it clanks noisily against my teeth. The calming liquid fills me, warming me and comforting me. The tea cup is taken away from me. I relax a little more against the sofa cushions. My mother covers me with a blanket then leaves the room, presumably so I can sleep. But I don't. I continue to watch the fireplace, as light and shadows fight for possession of it. Strangely, it's calming. The first signs of dawn eventually begin to surface. I stand up and walk over to the window, watching the sun rise over the shadow of Victor's Village. That's when I see him. I breathe a sigh of relief. A basket tucked firmly under his arm, his steps are fast and hurried, like he has a lot to do. He walks up the steps to my house, places something wrapped in linen at the door. Peeta looks up, at the window that is mine. He sighs a little, and his face is overtaken by sadness for a minute. What does that mean? I watch as the sadness fades, eventually replaced with a small smile. He turns and walks back down the steps and heads into Haymitch's house, shoving his way through the door. I open the front door and pick up the baked goods. I take a deep breath in, inhaling the magnificent aroma. I unwrap the linen and almost drop the bread in shock. Two good hearty loves that I'd recognize anywhere. I break one open, dropping the other on the kitchen table. Peeta baked raisin and nut bread. The bread that fed my family and saved us from starvation. The bread that binds Peeta and I together. The bread that I'll never forget…

**Author's Note: So there you go. A short chapter I know, but I've been writing super long ones lately. Oh well. I promise there'll be some action unfolding soon. Please PM me with any questions or suggestions you may have, I'm always here! Also, please leave a review, they mean the whole world to me! **

**See y'all soon! Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	25. Hidden Secrets

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! I want to apologize for not updating as much. I'd say I've been busy but I really haven't, so I can't use it for an excuse. I hope you all enjoy the next chapter! 25 chapters feels weird to say out loud. I honestly never believed that this fanfic would go that far, but I promise you all, there is a lot more to come!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Hunger Games; it all belongs to the brilliant Suzanne Collins.**

_The bread that fed my family and saved us from starvation. The bread that binds Peeta and I together. The bread that I'll never forget…_

Chapter 25

Two days pass in a blur. My nightmares get progressively worse each night. My mother and Prim don't get a full night's sleep anymore; due to my panicked screeching that's so loud you can probably hear it in the Seam. Every night, I drink a new herbal remedy that attempts to stop the nightmares. They don't work. During the day, when my mother isn't being filmed or providing remedies for the District's citizens, she is pouring over books she finds in the library, hoping to find something to help me sleep. The circles under my eyes darken, to the point where it looks like I'm suffering from a broken nose. Every day, the prep team sighs over me as they try to work away the sunken look from my face. They always ask me what's wrong. I tell them it's nothing. Peeta stares at me worriedly all day, like he feels like I'm going to crumble to pieces in front of him. He hasn't asked me what's wrong, but I know he wants to. I should probably talk to him; after all, he knows exactly what I've been through. I know Peeta struggles too. I see his lights on early in the morning when no-one else is awake. I notice how his skin still holds traces of washed-off paint, and how there is occasionally a smudge of dough on his cheek when he walks in. Yet I say nothing to him. I want to ask him if he's okay, to help him through the nights, but I don't know how to reach him. He doesn't know how to reach me. We are a broken pair of toys, played with roughly by the Capitol and then chucked away. Peeta and I may have defied the system, but we suffer greatly for it. I constantly wish that I had died in the arena, that Peeta had died, that we both had died. But no matter how much I close my eyes and wish, when I open them I'm still stuck in this prison of a house. The only thing that gets me through is the knowledge that the camera crew will be leaving soon, in exactly three days. For the last night, something special is planned. I can't think what. Sunday will be when we celebrate the harvest festival, so that would usually mean a quiet dinner with loved ones. The harvest festival is the only day in the year when no-one in Panem goes hungry. The Capitol sees it as a day to reward the Districts for their hard work and they send trainfuls of food to feed the entire District. However, there is only enough food to last a day, no more, no less. I smile a little, remembering Prim's delighted face last year. Gale and I had been hunting all day, and we had come back with arms full of food. My mother spent all day cooking and in the evening, we pulled our old wooden table outside with the rest of the Seam. Together, we'd all enjoyed a meal, laughing and joking. We forgot our troubles and hardships, and for a few hours, it was truly magical.

"Katniss?" Someone touches my shoulder lightly and I jump, whirling around rapidly. I relax when I see it's only Cressie. Since the crew has arrived, Cressie and I have a stricken up a tentative friendship. She wanted to see more of District 12, but Lato wouldn't let her go anywhere without a crew member and she said they all weren't interested. She'd asked me if she could come when I went out for a walk one day. I only said yes to be polite, remembering what Haymitch said a few days ago about being nice to the crew. Actually, it turned out okay. Cressie wasn't annoying or rude about anything; in fact she seemed really interested, wanting to know everything about the District.

"You know, I'm not even supposed to be here." She said conversationally whilst we were walking around the streets of the Seam. Women hanging out their laundry turned to stare open-mouthed at the sight of a Victor and a Capitolite walking around the streets of the Seam. I knew that the gossip would be spread all around the District in a matter of hours.

"Really?" I asked, wondering why a Capitolite, one of the most privileged citizens wouldn't be allowed to come here.

"No. We don't really see any of the Districts, except for what you see from the Games. All we learn about is the main industries of each District, we don't really learn much about the Districts. The teachers in the Capitol are more focused on fashion and science."

"You probably learn more than we do." I say dryly. I know I shouldn't because anyone could be overhearing this conversation and I know Cressie could report everything I say. Then where would we be?

"That may be true," She laughs a little. "But it's boring there. There's really nothing to do when you're my age except going to school and watching the Games. This is the first time I've ever been away from the Capitol. The only reason I'm here is because of my father. He's the one who persuaded the President to let me come here. He said it would be like work for when I'm older and he promised to never let me out of his sight. If he knew I was here with you, he'd be furious." Her happy, friendly tone drops to a whisper. I nervously look around at the surrounding houses, knowing that we are being watched by the citizens of the Seam. I grab Cressie's hand and pull her back towards town. I'd take her to the meadow, but it's too dangerous. If I head into the woods, people wouldn't care, but if I took Cressie then we most certainly would be reported.

"What are you doing?" She asks, clearly confused.

"Shh." I tell her firmly. I pull her through the merchant parts of town, trying to be inconspicuous amongst the groups of people. We walk halfway up the road to Victor's Village, and then stop. Here there are no cameras, and barely anyone comes up this road. We're not safe anywhere, but here is probably better than anywhere else.

"What do you mean?" I ask her.

"My family works for President Snow." She says, her eyes avoiding mine. I take a step back. I knew it! I knew it wasn't safe! But my mouth blurted out things and I couldn't stop myself. Now I will be punished for my traitorous crimes, which means they'll hurt my Prim. I can't believe I ever liked her! I thought that…I don't know what I was thinking. Cressie looks at me anxiously.

"Not like that Katniss! I'd never betray you like that. It'd be wrong. What I meant was, my family, ever since the Hunger Games began, we have filmed the Victors. Filmed them settling back into their lives and helping them become the famous celebrities that everyone knows and loves. My father is one of the best camera men in the Capitol. He has a large photography business, with lots of workers. I'm friends with some of them. They're nice and good people. But that's beside the point. My father is getting close to an age where he won't be able to film the Victors anymore. Someone has to replace him if we are to continue working closely with the government. So it has to be me. That's why I'm here." She says, the wind blowing her blonde hair forwards, masking her face. She pushes it out of her eyes.

"Ugh, I hate my hair. Maybe one day I'll have the courage to shave it. I've always wanted to, but dad wouldn't let me. He doesn't like the Capitol fashions and he's very protective of our family. He knows that we have to be careful because of who we are. He knows what happens to President Snow's opponents." What is she talking about? But I'm intrigued. I've never heard a Capitolite talk like this before. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she was an ordinary person. But I know that I still have to watch what I say, for all I know this could be a trap.

"But I'm tired of the political games Katniss. I've watched it from afar, grown up in it. I hate it. Quite frankly, I'm terrified of working with the President. But I have to, for the sake of my family." I stare at her in amazement.

"I still don't understand." I tell her. "Why are you telling me all this?"

"I'm telling you because I trust you." She replies. "You don't understand what's going on. What's been going on ever since you won the Games." She looks like she's about to say more but the prep team comes and joins our conversation.

"Cressie? Your father wants you help." She says, a little anxiously. "He's been looking for you for hours!" Cressie bits her lip, and with one last glance at me, she runs off to her father. I stare after her. What is going on? What was Cressie trying to say to me? I don't understand. She's a Capitolite, one of the most privileged people, yet she's talking like…like a traitor. I know how dangerous this is. I know that as much as I like Cressie, I can't get any more involved. I have to get away from the situation, for the sake of my family. I realize that Octavia is talking. "…and I said, no _you _shouldn't be wearing velvet! Trust me Katniss; animal prints will be all the range." I blink. Animal prints?

"Honestly!" Flavius clicks his tongue, tossing his orange hair. "Who even wears velvet? So last week." Venia lays a calming hand on my arm, making me jump a little.

"Don't worry Katniss, we're here to help. Cinna wouldn't dare to put you in velvet with us around!" They all titter happily, sounding like a chorus of birds. A chorus of very annoying birds. I grit my teeth angrily. Clearly, there are far bigger problems going on in the world than whether or not it's fashionable to wear velvet.

"Excuse me." I say politely, my voice coming out a little strangled as I move away from the group. I head inside my house and find my mother in the kitchen.

"Are you all right Katniss?" My mother asks, studying my flushed face.

"I'm fine." I mumble, moving towards the table and dumping my bag upon it.

"Katniss, do you know if everything's okay with Cressie?" My mother asks conversationally, wringing out wet clothes.

"I'm sure everything's fine." I stutter. "Why would I know if something's okay? It's not as if we're friends or anything. Can you please stop asking me questions?" I shout, standing up quickly, the wooden chair scraping across the tiled floor. The sound hurts my ears. My mother looks hurt for a second.

"I was only asking Katniss. There's no need to be rude. I was only asking because Cressie and Lato are discussing something important in the living room. They've been in there a while, and I just wondered if you knew what was going on, that's all."

"Well, I don't know." I mutter, leaving the kitchen. I check the hallway for people, and then pause outside the living room door. I can faintly hear their voices.

"You told her?" Lato whispers angrily. I push open the door a little to see what's going on. Cressie is leaning against the fireplace, her arms crossed over her chest, her tone of voice sullen and angry.

"Yes I told her dad. She has a right to know. You don't spend months gathering information and then keep quiet about it."

"Sometimes, things need to be kept in the dark Cressie. I haven't worked so hard for the past twenty-three years for it all to go to ruin now." Cressie uncrosses her arms, walking closer to her father.

"You don't need to worry. It's obvious she hasn't worked it out yet. By the time she does, who knows what will have happened?" Lato snorts dismissively.

"Who knows what will happen? I know what will happen Cressie. You and I will; both be dead, and all our work will have gone to waste. You need to think more carefully. You can't trust anyone, least of all Katniss Everdeen." I stifle a gasp at the sound of my name. What is going on? They are being so cryptic; it's difficult to understand what they are saying.

"Now is not the time to play safe, dad." Cressie whispers. "We're all in this together, whether you're with us or not."

"Of course I'm with you Cressie. All I ask is that you're careful. You're the only thing I have, I can't lose you." He wraps his arms around his daughter, burying his face in her blonde hair.

"Love you dad." She says softly.

"I love you too Cressie. Don't let me down okay?" He says, planting a kiss on top of her head then starts to walk towards the door. I back away hurriedly, bumping into a shelf in my hurry to get away.

"Shit." I curse quietly. Lato comes out of the door and looks at me suspiciously.

"Are you all right Miss Everdeen?" I try to look as innocent as possible.

"Of course Lato. I just walked into the shelf. How clumsy of me!" I say, my voice high and anxious. He frowns a little, and then obviously decides to let it go.

"All right then. Shall we start filming again? We've only got a few days you know. I'm sorry for the delay, but there were some…issues that had to be dealt with. Let's get on then shall we?" He says, beckoning me forward with his hand. We step outside into the late summer sun, ready for the repetitive process of filming to begin once more.

**Author's Note: So…the plot thickens :-D. Obviously I'm only hinting at the revolution to come. Katniss has gotta figure it out first. We are really close to the end of filming now, it won't be long! Next chapter should see the return of Peeta, and maybe some Gale? Let me know in a review. I love getting them, so please please review! It only takes a few seconds. I'll try and update soon, I promise!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	26. A Courageous Escape

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! It's Valentine's day. As usual, I've spent it alone with the Hunger Games films and a massive tub of ice-cream. How did you all spend your day? I hope everyone had a lovely day, and shout out to all the single ladies! (Sorry, I'm listening to Beyoncé!) However, I was in the mood to write so here I am! Hope you all enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the property from Hunger Games. It belongs to the brilliant Suzanne Collins.**

_We step outside into the late summer sun, ready for the repetitive process of filming to begin once more._

Chapter 26

I stumble into a chair, exhausted. We've been filming outside all day. My entire body aches. Prim hands me a mug of something sweet and warm, so I gulp it down eagerly. All three of us sit in silence, enjoying the peace and quiet. It's hardly ever quiet around here nowadays. The filming crew rush around all day long, I think that everyone is getting to the point where they are just waiting for it to end. Thankfully, it won't be long now. Hopefully, I'll be able to breathe again. I've felt so trapped, like the camera crew's presence alone has constructed walls of steel around me. I need to get out, to fly free.

There's a quiet knock from the back door. Prim gets up to answer it, making graceful lithe steps across the tiled floor. She pushes back the bolt with some difficulty; it's still stiff from seventy-three years of disuse, no matter how much I oil it. Finally, she yanks it open and smiles at whoever is standing on the other side. Peeta walks in, shivering a little under his jacket. The setting sun behind the house sends rays of light through the door, making his blonde hair shine a brilliant gold.

"Peeta?" My mother says, instantly getting up from her chair and walking across the kitchen to greet him. "Are you alright?" She questions, checking him for any signs of sickness.

"I'm fine Mrs Everdeen." He chuckles, his deep voice rumbling quietly through the room. "Thanks for the concern though."

"Why are you here?" Prim asks.

"Prim!" I say shocked, standing up and stretching a little. My muscles groan in protest.

"Primrose, there was no need to be so rude." My mother admonishes gently. "Peeta is allowed here whenever he likes." Peeta smiles a little, nodding his thanks. Prim mutters a quiet but sincere apology then opens the window to let Buttercup in. Stupid cat. Should leave him outside in the dark by himself. I've never understood the appeal that cat has. Buttercup meows pitifully then gives a warning hiss in my direction, like he's heard exactly what I'm thinking. Don't be idiotic, I think to myself. It's just a cat. Peeta sets something wrapped in cloth on the table.

"I've brought something for you to try. It's a new recipe that I've been working on." My mother unwraps the goods and the smell that invades the kitchen is heavenly. My mouth instantly begins to water uncontrollably. I head to the table for a closer look. There, lying on top of the rough cloth is thirteen perfect buns. On top, they look perfectly ordinary, except that they are covered with dried herbs. Prim gets plates out of the cupboard and places a bun on each one, handing a plate to us all.

"Why are there thirteen?" Prim asks curiously.

"I made a baker's dozen." Peeta explains, his voice gentle and relaxed. "A dozen means twelve, but if you make a baker's dozen, you make thirteen. It's basically so you've got one left over to try and make sure that they are okay to sell." Prim smiles.

"That's amazing! So you could eat one of every batch you make?"

"Technically, yes. But when I worked at the bakery, I knew all the recipes so well I could make them blindfolded, so I didn't need to test the finished product." He hands her a plate with a bun on.

"Here, try it. Just be careful though, it's fresh out of the oven, so it'll be hot." I smile softly at seeing them interact. They look like they could be brother and sister. In fact nearly everyone in this room could easily be mistaken for family. It's just me, the odd one out. Not for the first time in my life, I wish I was a merchant girl. Then I'd never have to worry about feeding myself, or money. If I was a merchant girl, I'd be free to marry Peeta and no-one would frown upon it…Whoa. Where did these thoughts of marriage come from? I hate the idea of marriage. I swore years ago that I never would be anyone's wife. So why am I thinking about marrying Peeta? It would never happen, even if I wanted to, which I don't. There are more important things right now to deal with. To distract myself from my dangerous thoughts, I take a bite of the bun on my plate and my mind goes blank, filled only with the pleasure of eating something so delicious. This has to be the best thing I've ever tasted. I moan out loud, savoring every last bite, my eyes closed. I open them slowly, to find all three staring at me in horror, amazement and I can't quite find the word for Peeta's reaction. His blue eyes deepen, staring into mine. I find myself biting my lip. My mother looks between us, shaking her head slightly. Prim is still staring at us, but the corners of her mouth curl up in a tiny smirk.

"Katniss!" My mother's voice interrupts our staring. I shake my head a little to land myself in reality.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Can I have a word please?" She says. Her voice sounds strained, like she is forcing the words out. Her hands firmly clasp my shoulders and she steers me out of the room into the colder hallway. I feel the cool air hit me, and my hands feel my cheeks anxiously. They feel like they're on fire.

"You have got to get a hold of yourself!"

"What do you mean?" I reply.

"I meant, you have to get a grip! How dare you act so shamefully? I raised you to be a lady!"

"I really don't understand…" My mother rolls her eyes angrily.

"For goodness sake Katniss. Surely you can't be that naive?" I just stare at her questioningly. My mother sighs, a resigned look settling on her worn features.

"We will need to talk about this at some point. I really can't believe that the school never talked to you about this kind of thing. Well I guess it usually takes place when you're in the last year, but since you won the Games, the task must fall to me." She sighs again, leaning her head against the wall. "Go on, back into the kitchen. Just please, think about what you are doing before you decide to do it." She smiles a little, though it doesn't reach her eyes. Then she turns, and heads into the study. I stare after her for a second, and then push open the kitchen door. I'm stunned by what I see. Prim is in Peeta's arms, tears pouring down her cheeks.

"I feel so helpless Peeta. She screams every night, crying out for you, for Rue." Peeta winces at the sound of Rue's name. "I want to help her, but I don't know how. She needs you. She might not admit it to anyone, but she cares so much about you. Please Peeta, I know she hurt you, but try to see past that. Kat just puts up walls so she doesn't get hurt. Anyone paying attention could see that you have a special place in her heart." I decide to walk in to stop Prim from talking anymore. I'd no idea that she noticed so much. I hate hurting her; I wish I could stop my nightmares. As soon as they see me, Prim escapes Peeta's embrace, wiping her hands furiously over her eyes, trying to wash away the tell-tale line of tears.

"Katniss?" She sounds surprised to see me alone. "Where's mother?" I bite my lip, struggling to keep it together. My sister, my sweet innocent Prim was crying over me. I feel terrible.

"Erm, she's in the study." I reply, my voice wobbling slightly at the end. Peeta looks at me with nothing but concern. I want to burst into tears and fling myself into his comforting arms like Prim did, but I should be more sensible than that. I need to be strong.

"Well, I should go see if she needs me to run any errands." Prim mutters, quickly making her escape, her gaze avoiding mine. I look at the floor. I sense his presence near me and my head snaps up in response. I jump back a little. I hadn't realized just how close we were.

"Are you okay?" His gentle voice asks. That's when I lose it. My knees buckle and I start to slide to the floor. Peeta's strong arms catch me, and then he guides me to sit on the floor. I feel the cold from the tiles seep through my trousers, making me feel cold. I bring my legs up to my body and wrap my arms around my legs tightly. I rest my head on my arms, unwilling to look at his face. I know that if I look at him, I really will go to pieces. So I don't.

"I'm fine." I reply quickly, my shaking voice betraying me. Peeta gently pushes a lock of hair back behind my ear, his blue eyes meeting mine.

"I think we both know that's not true." He says softly.

"Peeta…" I whisper his name, my voice betraying all my pain. He sighs.

"I wish I could take your pain away Katniss. You don't know how many times I've wished that. I used to wish it when your father died." My breath hitches in my throat when he mentions my father. Peeta's eyes are still on mine, but they have a faraway look to them. "I could watch you getting smaller every day. I wanted to help you so badly. I wish I had the courage to go up to you and offer you my help. I would have done anything to help your family, even if it meant going without myself."

"I never would have accepted your offer." I say quietly. "I would have been too proud. I also would have thought that you were just an asshole, playing a cruel trick on me. Especially since you're from town. Merchant boys only notice Seam girls when they want something."

"That's not true!" Peeta exclaims indignantly. Then his face drops, probably thinking about all the Merchant boys in our year, who only talk to the Seam girls so they can go behind the slag heap. "Well, not all Merchant boys. Definitely not me anyway." I look at him.

"Have you ever been?" I ask him. He looks at me questioningly.

"What?"

"Have you ever been to the slag heap?" I ask him curiously. His face flushes a little. I take that as a confirmation. He sees my judgmental look and is quick to explain.

"I've been once. It's disgusting. My brothers took me when I was fifteen as a 'birthday present'." He snorts and rolls his eyes. "I think it was just an excuse so they could go. They tried to get me a girl, but I wasn't interested. There was only one girl that I would ever think about like that, and she wasn't there so nothing happened." He looks into my eyes as he says this. It makes me blush and look away. "My brothers thought I was crazy. They did nothing but tease me about it on the way home."

"Sounds like a great present." I said in reply. He chuckles a little.

"Yeah, it was the best one I've ever had." He chuckles a little at his sarcastic statement. "My mother caught us on the way home though. She went ballistic. Said we'd dirtied the family name even though I hadn't done anything. We got a horrible punishment." He said frowning.

"I'm sorry." I tell him sincerely, unwrapping one of my arms and placing on his shoulder.

"Don't be." He tells me, smiling a little. I frown at him.

"Peeta, you should take it more seriously. She beat you. She antagonized you. She made you feel worthless every day and yet you still defend her?" Peeta looks at the floor.

"It wasn't all bad." He mutters. "Anyway, I deserved it."

"Don't ever believe that!" I say shocked. I hate his witch of a mother. If I ever have to see her again, I'm pretty sure I'll end up smacking her for what she did to Peeta. "Peeta, you are one of the most selfless, amazing people I know. Don't take any of her crap." He sighs.

"Whatever. Anyway, I don't want to spend this evening talking about my mother. Please can we talk about something else?" We sit in silence for a few minutes. Neither of us have much to say. However, the silence doesn't feel awkward. It feels nice.

"Peeta, would you mind making some more of those buns from earlier?" He smirks, a mischievous look coming into his eyes.

"Of course I can kitten. Did you like my buns?" I look at him a little strangely.

"Yes I did. You have lovely buns." I tell him sincerely. He can't contain his smirk any longer and laughs out loud.

"Oh kitten, what am I going to do with you?" He grins, his pearly white teeth flashing in the firelight of the kitchen.

"I don't know." I say, my voice breathless.

"Maybe I'll do this." He murmurs, snaking a hand around my waist and pulling me across the tiles towards him. He lifts up my body so I'm practically on his lap. My tense position from before relaxes, my cramped muscles breathe a sigh of relief.

"Maybe I'll do this." Peeta says, gently turning my face to look at him. His eyes stare down into mine, and I loose myself in the deep pools of blue.

"Or maybe, I'll do this." His husky voice drops to a whisper. He leans in. I lean in. My hands tangle into his hair at the nape of his neck. There is a tiny gap between the two of us. My eyes flutter closed, anticipating the feeling of his lips on mine.

"KATNISS EVERDEEN!" My mother's shocked voice comes from above us. We awkwardly jerk apart, to see my mother standing over us, a stern look on her face. Peeta lifts me off his lap and we stand up, looking anywhere but at each other. "I have never seen such a shameful display!" I smirk a little. We've done worse in this kitchen. Then I blush at the memory and look down, hanging my head. My mother takes that as a sign of repentance. "You should hang your head Katniss Everdeen. This is nothing to be proud of young lady. Upstairs, now." Walking slowly over to the door, I take one last glance at Peeta. He sees me looking and winks. I bite my lip and blush, escaping into the hallway. I hear my mother ushering Peeta out of the back door.

"Peeta, please can you try to control yourself around Katniss? I know what teenagers are like. I was young once." Her voice turns a little melancholy, no doubt remembering my father. Then her voice turns hard like steel. "But Katniss is very naive. She has no idea about what she's getting herself into and I need to protect her from that. She's not even seventeen. I don't think she's physically or emotionally ready for such a serious relationship."

"Mrs Everdeen," I hear Peeta reply. "I have nothing but good intentions with Katniss. Don't you think that I'm fully aware of her disinterest?"

"Then why were you trying to kiss her on my kitchen floor?" My mother shrieks. Peeta doesn't reply for a long while. When he does, his answer is quiet.

"I don't make Katniss do anything she doesn't want to. If she wanted to turn around and tell me to fuck off and never come back, I'd accept her wishes." I hear my mother gasp at Peeta swearing. It shocks me too. It's a rare occurrence. "However, never once has she ordered me away, and until that day, I'll be sticking around. Goodnight." He must then have left, for I hear the door slam shut. I sprint up the stairs to my room, rushing to the window. I see him walking dejectedly down the path. I open the window as far as it will go, cursing the stiff latch.

"Peeta!" I hiss into the cold night air. He looks around frantically, until he finds me stood at the window. His serious expression melts into a handsome smile.

"What are you doing?" He asks. I disappear from the window for a second, throwing on a random jacket and some shoes.

"I'm escaping." I tell him grinning. "I can't stay in this house a minute longer." I get up on the windowsill, my legs dangling.

"Are you sure you wanna do that?" He asks. "I'm flattered of course, but it's a long way to jump."

"I don't care." I reply. I take a deep breath and let myself drop, praying I won't hurt myself when I land. That would be embarrassing and awkward, calling my mother outside to fix a broken bone whilst trying to escape. I land in a crouch, straightening up. My legs feel a little sore, but I'm sure that I haven't broken anything. I jog over to Peeta, laughing a little.

"Quick, let's go before she finds out!" We run next door, and burst into Peeta's dark house. He switches on the lights and I instantly feel at home.

**Author's Note: There you guys! You wanted Peeta to make a return, and so he has. I pay attention to my reader's demands! Plus, I was missing him to. He lights up everyone's lives. To be honest though, this chapter did not go the way that I was expecting. It's put of the end of filming back just a few chapters. But it will be over soon, I promise. Please leave me a review, they make me smile so much!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	27. Confessions

**Author's Note: Hiya! I'm feeling very inspired this month…maybe it's because I spend so much time listening to Coldplay and Taylor Swift. I find it so easy to write listening to their music! Hope you're all okay and enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own none of the property from Hunger Games.**

_He switches on the lights and I instantly feel at home._

Chapter 27

Peeta stands smirking in his hallway. I turn and hang my jacket up, slipping off my shoes. I stare at my painted toenails, unsure of what to say.

"What-" We both start talking at the same time, and I laugh nervously.

"I was going to say, what do you want to do?" Peeta asks, tilting my face up to look at him.

"I'm not sure, what do _you _want to do?" I murmur. "It's your house." He smirks, his cerulean eyes darkening a little.

"I can think of a few things." He smiles mischievously. I look at him in confusion, waiting for him to elaborate further. He sighs a little.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea Katniss. You ought to go home before your mother starts missing you." I frown a little. Doesn't he want me anymore? I take a step back, putting more space between us.

"Fine. I'll go then." My voice sounds harsh. I start to reach for my jacket again when Peeta's hand touches my wrist.

"Wait. I didn't mean it like that. I…All I meant was that if your mother finds you here, she will probably murder me. I don't want to get you into trouble." I smile at him. It's sweet that he cares so much. That's just like Peeta, always putting others before himself.

"Don't worry about me." I tell him. "I won the last Hunger Games, I'm pretty sure I can handle my mother." He smirks at that. Heading into the kitchen he calls over his shoulder,

"You want some hot chocolate?"

"Sure." I reply back, walking into his kitchen. It's so cozy, there's Peeta's presence everywhere you look. From the ingredients for tomorrow's baking neatly lined up on the marble countertop, to a book resting at an open page on the table, this whole room is filled with him. It's nice. I sit down on a chair and pick up this book, curious about what he was reading. It's an old story book, perhaps from before the Dark Days. I probably have the exact same one in my library, these houses are nearly identical. The book must be harmless though, if the Capitol would allow the Victors to read it. Peeta turns to see me with the book in my hands, a plate of bread rolls in his hand. He places them on the table, smiling a little. I see him looking at me.

"What?" He chuckles a little at my question.

"It's just…I don't know, strange I guess seeing you in my house. You, you look like you fit in here." He confesses shyly. Mischievous Peeta is gone, honest Peeta has taken his place. I'm not sure which one I like better. I decide to say what I feel. After deceiving him for so long in the Games, I feel like the least I can do is to be honest with him.

"I feel...happy here." I tell him sincerely, struggling with the wave of emotions that has overcome me. I'm not used to being so emotional.

"That's good." He replies honestly. I can hear the sincerity ringing through every word. "I want you to be happy here." The kettle whistles loudly, breaking the moment. Peeta turns his attention back to the drinks. He places my mug in front of me, and then disappears for a few minutes. I watch the wisps of steam float away from the rim of the mug in silence. I wonder briefly what Peeta could be doing, and then I hear the crackle of flames. Peeta appears at the kitchen door once more, asking me a silent question with his eyes. I smile and nod, picking up my mug and following him into the living room. I've never been in here before. Like the kitchen, it's very cozy. Instead of sitting on the sofa, we sit on the soft cream carpet in front of the fire. I feel like one of us should start a conversation, but the moment feels too precious to ruin it by talking. We look into each other's eyes, the silence around us comfortable. The fire crackles softly in front of us. I take a sip of my hot chocolate, feeling the warm liquid slip down my throat, warming me from the inside out. I place it on the coffee table, then move closer to him, leaning my head against his shoulder. He is warm and familiar. I close my eyes, feeling so peaceful and content. I haven't felt that way in a long time. I feel his head rest on top of mine, his fingers combing through my hair. I'd forgotten to plait my hair earlier.

"I love your hair down." He murmurs softly. I twist my face to look at him. He's staring down at me, some intense emotion in his eyes that I can't figure out.

"I don't." I reply. He laughs.

"It makes you look softer, more vulnerable." I frown at him. "It's not a bad thing Katniss!" He says, shaking his head a little. "It feels like you're letting your walls down a little, like you're letting me in. It's nice." I bite my lip. This is exactly the kind of thing I should avoid. What if I decide that I don't want to be with Peeta? I'm just prolonging the heartbreak. I feel agonized as I think about telling Peeta that it's not real, again. My heart beats painfully inside my chest. I resist the urge to clutch it. It would hurt him so much, I think painfully. Can I let him go? I'm so selfish, forcing him through heartbreak just to keep him around. I'm a monster. The need to flee courses through my veins and I stand up quickly, taking him by surprise.

"You were right." I say quickly, putting space between us and crossing my arms over myself. "I shouldn't be here. Mother will be worried about me. I should go. Thanks for the hot chocolate." I babble, racing out of the room and into the cooler hallway. I try to get on my jacket and shoes as quickly as possible so he can't come after me. I'm just outside the door when he catches up to me.

"Wait!" He yells, his voice full of anger. "Katniss, please…wait!" I keep telling myself not to look back. If I do, I will weaken. I'm doing this for him, I continually remind myself, feeling my heart crack a little. Rain bursts through the clouds, drenching me within a second. I panic at the thought of getting back home. I can't exactly just knock on the door and walk in. Maybe there's an unlocked window somewhere? I'm nearly at the steps of my house when his hand grasps my arm, spinning me round.

"Let me go!" I shout, my voice breaking at the end. He drops my arm in shock, as I race to the front door, trying it desperately. Of course it's locked. Giving up on my earlier plan of trying a window, I hammer my fist on the door. After a few seconds, it opens, my mother's confused and frightened face peeking out.

"Katniss, what are you doing?" She stutters, looking completely stunned. Then it turns to anger. "Did you sneak out of the house? Young lady I-" I break off her speech, seeing Peeta starting to run up the steps. I brush my mother out of the way and slam the door, locking it instantly. Peeta knocks loudly, shouting through the door.

"What the hell Katniss? For fucks sake, stop running away from me!" He shouts. I can hear his anger, but also his desperation and confusion, probably wondering why I ran from him. My mother's angry expression softens a little.

"Go upstairs Katniss and get some sleep. We will talk about this in the morning." I run upstairs and into my bedroom, slamming the door. I sink down to the floor, my back against the door. That's when the tears come. They stream down my face in torrents, making my vision blurry. I can quite clearly hear my mother yelling at Peeta downstairs.

"Please, Mrs Everdeen, I have to see her!" He begs. I can picture his heartbroken demeanor. He may be hurting now, but it's for the best. I should have left him alone from the start, ignored him until we had to talk to each other. He should move on from someone like me and be happy. He should find a pretty Merchant girl to marry and have beautiful blonde children.

"I think you've done enough." My mother says firmly. "Leave, or I'll call the peacekeepers." She threatens. I sob more. I should tell her that it's not Peeta's fault, it's mine. That I'm the one to blame for all this, that I'm the one to blame for everything. Then the door shuts on Peeta. This scene is all too familiar from one a few hours ago. Just an hour ago, I was in his arms, warm, safe, happy. Yet more tears spurt from my closed eyes. A shudder wracks through my hunched body. I try to take deep breaths to calm myself, but it just ends in hiccups. A soft knock comes at the door.

"Are you alright Katniss?" My mother's soft voice comes through my door. She doesn't sound remotely angry.

"GO AWAY!" I yell, my voice high-pitched, almost verging on hysterical. I hear footsteps moving away. Good. Everyone should leave me the hell alone. It's for the best. I deserve it all. I bury my face in my hands. What a fucking mess. I started it all. I wish I'd died in the arena. Wouldn't that be best for everyone? I try to stand, my body shaking like a fragile leaf in the midst of a violent storm. I sit on the sofa, trying to collect my scattered thoughts. The rain continues to beat down, lashing against the windows angrily. I wish someone would understand. I can think of one person who completely understood everything I went through, and all I did was push him away. I'm a monster, a true cold-hearted bitch. I remember Haymitch called me that once. At the time, I was so hurt that he could say such a thing. Now I realize he was right all along. Then, Peeta's there. In my room. Drenched from the rain. I leap off the sofa. I begin to shake once more as I stare at him in horror. I thought he was supposed to leave me alone?

"What are you doing here?" I gasp, hiccupping at the end of my question. He looks at me, a deep sadness in his eyes. His eyes, which were once filled with so much light and joy, now dull and lifeless.

"You left." He said, his voice flat and unemotional.

"I had to." I pleaded with him to understand me. He had to know what a terrible person I was, that he should stay as far away from me as possible.

"I don't get it Katniss." He says wearily, his shoulders hunching together. "Everytime we make some progress as friends and you let me in, something changes in you and you shut me out. Every. Damn. Time. Why?" He questions, looking completely hopeless. I sigh dejectedly, tears springing into my eyes. I blink them away. I will not start crying again, I tell myself firmly.

"I shut you out because I don't want to hurt you!" I say. "It's for the best, saving us both pain." Peeta snorts dismissively, rolling his eyes.

"You think you're saving us from pain? Look at us Katniss, we're a fucking mess!" I close my eyes, feeling the tears leak out again. How do I even have any tears left? My eyes are beginning to sting from the salt. I sniff, trying to force the tears back. I cannot believe that I'm allowing myself to be so weak.

"I know, but it won't always be like that! You'll move on, and find some beautiful Merchant girl. That's the way it should be Peeta! You shouldn't be with someone like me, someone from the Seam, someone broken and miserable." He stares at me in disbelief. Peeta crosses the room and takes me into his arms. I try to fight him, to put some distance between us. Through the misery, I can feel the cracks in my heart mend a little as his presence comes nearer. Damn him for making me feel this way…

"Katniss, you think I actually care about where you were born? I couldn't give a shit about any of that. All I know is that I need you; I've needed you ever since I was five years old and saw you on the playground at school. I don't want some random Merchant girl, I want someone who understands me and who cares about me."

"But Peeta, don't you see? I struggle to love anyone. I can't give the Capitol another weakness. I always swore I'd never be in love and marry anyone. You may not feel it now, but in time, you'd grow to hate me. You'd resent me for not giving you what you've always wanted. I can't put both of us through that." Peeta looks down at me, a deep sadness in his eyes. I can see the sacrifice behind his eyes as he says his next words. He takes a deep breath.

"I don't care about any of it." He tells me softly. "I need you, not marriage or children." I take a step back, wiping my hands over my eyes.

"You would care eventually." I warn him. He has to know the truth, that I'm so frightened by the commitment, of relying on someone so implicitly. I can't become my mother. I won't be that weak and pathetic girl that relies on a man just to function every day.

"Katniss, you have to understand. I don't want anything but you. As long as you want me around, I'll be here. Even if I'll never be anything more than your friend, I'll still stick around. I can promise you that." I take a deep breath in, trying to calm myself down.

"Just please, give me some time." I beg him. "So I can work everything out in my head. It's not fair to lead you on, just for the sake of never having to lose you." Peeta takes me in his arms once more. I think about struggling, then give in. What would be the point? What if this is the last time I will ever be enclosed in his arms? The thought makes me shudder, and I press myself closer to his body, my head resting on his chest. I listen to the soothing sound of his heart. It thumps steadily under my cheek, the rhythm familiar. Peeta's lips kiss the top of my hair, and I feel him smile a little.

"Of course Katniss. Take all the time you need." He says softly. He tilts my head up and kisses me unexpectedly. I close my eyes and smile a little. This I know. His lips are soft and familiar, molding themselves to mine in a warm embrace. The kiss is soft and sweet. We break apart. I hug him close, for I feel that this may be the last time I can do this out of my own free will. Any other time will be fake, for the cameras, for the Capitol. I take a deep breath, inhaling his unique scent. Then he steps away from me, opening the window and leaping out. I rush to the window, anxious to see if he's alright. He sees me watching him and smiles a little. Then he disappears into the black night, leaving me alone to wallow in misery. I shake my head. I have to get over this pathetic moping. I need to decide. My mind instantly shies away from making any sort of emotional commitment. I need that trip to the lake as soon as possible. Sighing, I close the window, leaning my head against the cool glass. I dress in my pajamas quickly to avoid dwelling on the subject. I get in bed, hoping that the nightmares will evade me for once. It would be nice to have a peaceful night's sleep. I roll my eyes. It will never happen. I turn onto my side, curling into a ball. My pillow feels lumpy at this end and I bring my hand underneath it to sort it out. My hand clasps around soft material and I pull it out. I choke back a sob. It's Peeta's t-shirt. I'd forgotten I'd hid it under my pillow. It seems like years ago. However, I've never been happier to see it. I clutch it to my chest, inhaling his faint scent that clings to the material. I bury my face into it, my tears soothing me into sleep.

**Author's Note: I will admit- it was very hard to write this chapter, not because I didn't have inspiration but because it made me very emotional. If this chapter made you cry, I'm sorry but you are not alone! I was sobbing for hours earlier. However, it means that Katniss is on the way to properly recognizing her feelings. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave a review and let me know what you think about this chapter. How did you feel about it? Please let me know! I love reviews and I'm open to both praise and criticism, so keep 'em coming!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	28. Mystery

**Author's Note: Hello everyone. I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter. I got so many lovely comments, and even though that last chapter was so hard to write, it was amazing to get so much appreciation for it. I genuinely love what I do, so to get fantastic reviews like that, it really lights up my life. Thank you, everyone. It's greatly appreciated. Also, Happy Mother's Day everyone! To all the mums reading this, you are greatly appreciated and you are all beautiful and special.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Hunger Games. It belongs to the brilliant Suzanne Collins.**

_I bury my face into it, my tears soothing me into sleep._

Chapter 28

_The mutt towered over me, pressing my face closer to the rough grass. Its pitch black eyes glared menacingly, I could see my terrified reflection in its jet black depths. It snarled, showing off its pointed yellow fangs. A drop of spit fell from its mouth and landed on my cheek, slimy and wet. I wanted to wipe it off but now was not the time. I was staring death in the face. I had to do something. I tried to twist myself into a position where I could wriggle out from underneath it, but this just seemed to anger it more. It growled threateningly. Panicking, I stayed completely still, feeling my heart race under my jacket. Fear and adrenaline raced through my veins, both instilling a sense of fear and excitement at the same time. The cogs were whirring desperately in my mind, yet I could not find a way to escape this alive. It was now certain that I would die. I closed my eyes and waited for it to come. I thought of my mother and Prim, of Peeta and wished that the whole thing was different. I wished that I could live but I didn't see any chance of that happening. Then my eyes flew open to stare daringly into the face of the monster. What was I doing? Why was I giving up so easily? I started to struggle again, the need to fight flowing through me. The mutt roared in anger, its ebony eyes flaring in hate. I became still once more as panic took over me. This was it now. The monster was done playing. I was going to die. It lowered its head, opening its stinking mouth wide, as it began to swallow me whole…_

"NO!" I screech, wrenching myself upright. Sweat poured off my forehead, my clothes sticking to my body. I take a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself, dragging my hand through my matted hair. I shivered as the heat began to leave my body. I get out of bed and walk over to the window. The moonlight shone through the window, leaving grey trails across the walls and carpets. I look up at the stars, leaning my heated skin against the cool glass. A shiver ran down my spine as I recalled my nightmare. I tried to push the thoughts out of my mind. I grabbed a random cardigan from my wardrobe, wrapping it around my body protectively. Quietly, I sneaked downstairs, trying not to wake my mother and Prim. It's a miracle that I didn't wake them up with my screaming. I walk into the kitchen, shivering a little. It's warmer than my house in the Seam, but the coolness of tiles chill my body. I sit at the table in silence, debating whether or not to make a cup of tea. I feel like it will help calm my shattered nerves. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in such a long time; I don't even know what it feels like anymore. I bury my face in my hands, thinking about last night. I was in such a mess. My emotions were running wild; I must have scared everyone shitless! I really need to gain some self-control. I hope that I can get to the lake on Monday. I really need to spend a day relaxing; hopefully it will also allow me to sort through my feelings. I sigh quietly. I watch the sun rise from the window. A new day.

"Katniss?" Prim wanders into the room in her pink pajamas. Her long blonde hair is down, making her look even younger. Like me, her hair is often tied up because she is beginning to help mother more with patients. I don't know how she does it. I can't stand being around ill, frightened and panicked people. My mother and Prim do what they can, but they can't help everyone. Since the cameras have been here, they have to help people in secret, since most of what they use to treat people is illegally obtained from the woods. Prim sits down at the table, her clear blue eyes staring at me in concern. "How long have you been sitting here?"

"Not long." I lie. I glance at the clock on the wall a little anxiously. Prim watches my every move, her eyes narrowing slightly. I can tell she doesn't believe me.

"Are you okay Katniss?" She asks gently. "And before you tell me you're 'fine', I want a real answer." I bite my lip, a war raging internally inside me. Prim rolls her eyes. "I'm twelve years old Katniss. I'm sure I can handle whatever you're going to tell me." I sigh in defeat.

"Its hell Prim. There's no other way to describe it. One minute I feel so happy and content, the next I'm terrified. I just…I don't know how to cope." I whisper, burying my face into my hands. I feel Prim's tiny hand on my arm. It feels warm and comforting.

"I wish I could make it better for you Katniss. But you have to stay strong. It will get better. There's a silver lining to every cloud."

"But you don't understand what it's like Prim!" I burst out. "I have nightmares, every night. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in weeks! I feel like I'm going crazy, without being confused about everything!" Prim tilts her head in confusion.

"What do you mean?" She probes. "What are you confused about?"

"My emotions." I reply. "I don't know how I feel about anything, especially with what happened last night." Prim smiles sadly.

"I know you'll work it out." She tells me. She looks like she's about to say more, but my mother walks into the room, effectively ending the conversation.

"Good morning girls." She says. I try to smile but my mother looks at me with stern eyes. I can see she meant what she said last night. I sigh internally. I feel like my mother only acts for her own interests. She never talks to me, asks me what I want. She differentiates between two states; one where she is uncaring and lets me do whatever I like, the other when she is stern and strict, trying to plan my life out the way she sees fit. I resist the urge to roll my eyes at her back and stick my tongue out like a petulant child throwing a temper tantrum. My eyes flit over to the clock on the wall. It's 8 AM. That means the camera crew will be here soon. Today will be hectic, as usual. There's a loud knock, and the crew burst in. Cressie trails behind them, looking exhausted. She sends a secret smile in my direction. I catch her eye from across the room in reply. The usual morning routine occurs: the crew burst in, drink endless cups of coffee, constantly complaining about the early morning starts. Once I heard one of them mutter,

"Honestly, it's so unsophisticated, waking up at this crazy hour like a person from the Districts!" When I'd that comment, I saw red. It took everything in me to not grab the man by his stupid green locks and strangle him. The miners work relentlessly, just so the rest of Panem has enough power. They earn pitiful wages, yet they do not complain. If only those stupid Capitolites knew how hard life is in the Districts.

I look up when someone new enters the kitchen.

"Cinna!" I exclaim, rushing over to him. I haven't seen him since Monday; I was beginning to wonder if he'd left the District.

"Hello Girl On Fire." He replies softly, his gold eyeliner shimmering in the early morning light.

"Where have you been?" I ask him, noting the large sketchbook tucked under his arm. Cinna's arm comes around my shoulder in a welcoming hug.

"I've been very busy." He replies cryptically. "Come see what I've been working on." He chuckles a little at his last sentence. I stare at him suspiciously. He laughs at my expression and with a calming hand on my back, guides me upstairs. We go into my room and sit on the sofa. Cinna clutches his sketchbook tightly to his body.

"So tell me," I tease in a light-hearted tone. "What's this big secret that you've been working on?" He smiles a little.

"Well…" He replies. "I've been working on your dress for the festival tomorrow." I frown at him in confusion.

"Why would I need a dress?" I ask him. "The Harvest Festival is only celebrated with family and close friends." The corners of his mouth turn up a little.

"I've been asked to make you a dress, so I've made you a dress." He tells me. Why is he being so cryptic, withholding information from me? I think about what this dress could possibly be. Then my eyes widen in horror. I think of the dresses that have been made for me before. All fabulous masterpieces of course, but surely far too extravagant just for my mother and Prim to see?

"Cinna?" I ask, my voice coming out as a high-pitched squeak. "There's no flames or anything like that, is there?" He smirks.

"Not this time Katniss!" He laughs. His whole body shakes with amusement. In doing so, the sketch book falls from his lap to the floor, giving me a glimpse of something black…and is that a wing? I reach forward to touch the book but Cinna grabs it and brings it back to him before I see anything else. I stare at him curiously. Before I can question him further, he brings a strip of material out of his pocket. He brings it towards me and I back away warily.

"I've been told that you can't see your dress, they want the reaction on camera. However, you have to try it on so that I can see if any adjustments will need to be made. I doubt it, but you never know." He comes towards me again, and this time I let him tie the soft material over my eyes. Everything goes dark and I panic for a second. I hate the dark. It makes me think of the mines, of my father. I shake my head to dispel the dark thoughts gathering inside my mind. I take a deep breath, willing my heart rate to slow. I hear rustling behind me, then a zip and then the dress is being guided over my body. It feels heavy from layers but the dress is made from light material. A soft, silky lining glides over my figure, tickling my olive skin. I feel the back tighten around me as the zip is pulled up my back. Then, there is silence. I shift awkwardly. I feel like I am being stared at and that is a very uncomfortable feeling. Cinna whispers,

"Perfect." I feel him walk around me, straightening this, gathering that. I stand there, my hands clenched by my side. Then the dress is removed from me and I stand there in my underwear, still in the dark. Then the blindfold is removed and I feel like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. The light is dazzling after spending so long in the dark. I squint in an attempt to get my eyes to adjust to the blinding light. I raise an eyebrow at Cinna.

"Was that really necessary?" I ask.

"Yes." He replies with firm conviction. "You'll love it."

"I always do." I tell him honestly then redress in the clothes he hands me. I guess the ones I was wearing just weren't appropriate. Not that I would know. I have no eye for fashion. Clothes are a practical thing for me, something to cover and protect my body. It's strange to think that I can afford such luxurious clothes now, something I only could have dreamed of just a few months ago. I've changed so much since then. I cannot believe that it has only been three months since I volunteered for Prim, yet so much has changed. Once I am suitably dressed, we both return downstairs. Peeta is in the kitchen drinking a mug of tea. He moves from person to person, chatting amicably with everyone, making them laugh and feel at ease. That's one of the magical things about Peeta. When he talks to you, he makes you feel like the most important person in the world. He's such a good person. He doesn't deserve any of the crap that has happened to him. Why has someone as nice as Peeta been through so much shit? And how, knowing everything that has happened to him, is he still such a caring and generous person. I really don't deserve him. He turns and sees me standing quietly in the doorway watching him. He smiles a little, and then turns away. The pain stabs me in the heart like a thousand knives have been plunged in all at once. Why didn't he come and talk to me? Then I realize, he's doing what I asked him to. He's giving me space. Right now, there is nothing I want less than space. However, I know that it would be so selfish of me to walk over to him and monopolize his company without having decided anything. I resist the urge to walk over to him and go and stand by Prim. She is bent over her books at the table. My eyes skim the page. She's reading about how coal is formed. I snort a little. Of course she is studying coal. Nearly everything we learn at school is to do with coal. She ought to lend the textbook to Cressie, I think sarcastically. I'm sure Cressie would be excited to learn about coal, since she doesn't seem to learn anything except science and fashion. Sighing, I sit next to Prim, twiddling my dark hair between my fingers. Lato comes in, exuberant as ever. He explains the schedule for the day, which is basically just filming last little bits to finish off the reality show of our lives.

"I've been watching the episodes," He tells everyone, his eyes alight with excitement. "And they're fantastic! So realistic, so relatable! Everyone in the Capitol is going to love this and this show will probably have the best ratings by a mile!" The crew seem to wake up from their lethargic disinterest to awake and exhilarated. They murmur excitedly about the show. Lato lets them talk, then after a few seconds raises a hand to get silence.

"I know you're all excited," He tells everyone. "I am too. We are so lucky to be in the presence of such wonderful people. Mr Mellark and Miss Everdeen have taken everything in their stride, and I am very excited to begin the last day of filming. So, let's get to work!" The crew stand up and gather their things, bursting out of the house in a hurry. Cressie takes me and Peeta outside, where the cameras are all set up ready to go. She gives us basic instructions on what to do, then with a shy smile, backs away behind the equipment. I stare up at Peeta, waiting for him to begin. There is a short silence, then Lato's voice booms from a speaker somewhere.

"Three…Two…One…Action!"

**Author's Note: So there you go! Next chapter promises the Harvest Festival and the return of Haymitch and Gale. There may also be some romance between our Star-Crossed Lovers! What do you guys think Katniss's dress will look like? Leave me a review and let me know! Just a warning, the next chapter will probably be very long, so it might take a while to post but I promise to do it as soon as possible. Who knows, if I'm struck with a creative storm then it might be posted in the next few days. Anyway, please leave me reviews, I'm always open to criticism and praise and I love hearing what you all think about this fanfic! See ya soon!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	29. Preparations

**Author's Note: Hey everyone. How are you all? I'm actually super excited to write this chapter, since it'll be filled with loads of drama and excitement! I really can't believe that this chapter will be the last of the filming…it feels like it's kind of ending, but of course this fanfic isn't. I've got way too much stuff planned for this fanfic for it to be finished just yet! Anyway, hope you all enjoy the chapter! Btw, I also hit 100 reviews with the last chapter. Thank you so so so much. I honestly never expected to get so much appreciation for this, so thank you, each and every one of you. I love you all!**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own anything from Hunger Games (the world is a very cruel place). It all belongs to the wonderful Suzanne Collins.**

"_Three…Two…One…Action!"_

Chapter 29

I stare up at Peeta, trying to make the chemistry between us become more real, more believable. I know I haven't been doing a good enough job these days. Everyone has to believe that our love is real. I shudder a little at the thought of remembering what Haymitch told me about the Capitol, about how they don't like being laughed at. Peeta notices my shiver and going off script, he asks me if I'm cold. I reply I'm not, but he shrugs off his jacket anyway and wraps it protectively around my small frame. I smile at him gratefully and nestle myself into the material. It's a leather jacket, very much like my father's but it is a different color and texture. The jacket smells like him, comforting, warm…safe. We return to script, strolling around Victor's Village, arm in arm. I wince at what I know is coming next. We have to talk about the Games. It's mostly scripted, like most of this idiotic 'reality' show but I don't like talking about it. It brings back terrible memories that should be locked away in the deepest darkest places of my mind and hidden from the rest of the world.

"So darling," Peeta says, the endearment slipping off his tongue naturally. However, there's something about it that just doesn't feel right. The term is not common in District 12. Not that I'm an expert or anything, but around the Seam couples call each other names like 'honey' or 'sweetheart'. To me, those sound much more natural but apparently 'darling' is very popular in the Capitol. Since the show is aimed at them, we have to use their terminology as much as possible. I snap out of my musing to realize that Peeta is still talking. "Do you think your mother finally approves of me?" He asks, flashing a charming smile at me. My heart melts a little. I mentally roll my eyes at myself. It's all fake, I tell myself sternly.

"Of course she does Peeta!" I tell him, giggling like a Merchant girl would and curling my hand more tightly around his arm. "You are liked by everyone, the notion of my mother disapproving of you is impossible! Truly, you are the best person I could ever have ended up with. A Victor, wealthy and intelligent, smart and strong, what more could I ask for?" I say, attempting to bat my eyelashes in an adorable way. How do girls do this? I feel dizzy and I probably look incredibly stupid. Peeta smiles, clearly amused at my pitiful attempt to flirt.

"Thank you, darling." He says, pulling me towards a bench. We sit down, feeling the cold metal chill our bodies. He wraps a supporting around my waist and I scoot closer to him. Even wrapped up in his coat, its freezing. I lean my head against his shoulder. "You're the beautiful one though," He says quietly after a moment of silence.

"I'm not, Peeta. I think you're deluding yourself." I tell him honestly. Peeta's hand comes up to cup my chin and he turns my face to look up at him.

"You never did see yourself clearly. Look at you, you're stunning. Soft, silky hair, pink cheeks - it makes you beautiful. Why can't you see that?" He says, his blue eyes boring into mine. I bite my lip in embarrassment. I wish he wouldn't say such things, regardless of whether we are on camera or not. It makes me feel so inadequate, since I have nothing to reply back with. Anyway, I'm not deserving of his compliments. He is the bright light of the sun; happy, energizing, filling everyone with warmth and love. However, I am the dark shadows of night; black and miserable. The light and the dark cannot co-exist with one another, the dark swallows up the light, choking the light and swallowing it whole. I sigh a little and turn my face away from him.

"Peeta…" I say quietly, trying to hold back the tears. I look at him carefully. He is looking down at his lap, twiddling something in his hand. "What's that?" I ask curiously. His hand opens up slowly, his rough fingers unfurling from his palm. There, in the large expanse of his hand, lies a hair clip. It is shaped like a flower, the petals glittering in the muted light of the setting sun. He swallows a little nervously before he speaks,

"Katniss, I was in town and I saw this in the window of the jewelers. It reminded me of you. It's simple, yet elegant. It's delicate and innocent but strong at the same time. I thought it should belong to you, the most beautiful girl I know."

"Oh Peeta!" I gasp, tears flowing freely down my face at his beautiful and moving words. "I'll treasure it forever." I murmur softly, tracing it in my hand. I turn my head so that it can be clipped into my hair. He pins it at the top of my braid and I feel the weight of it grasp my hair firmly.

"I'm glad you like it." He replies, smirking a little. "Because I really didn't have a Plan B if you hated it." I laugh happily, wiping away my earlier tears. I throw my arms around him and hug him tightly, planting a slight kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you so much." I tell him, looking up at him. "It's truly beautiful. I…I have no words to describe what I'm feeling right now." I take a deep breath for my next scripted line. "When we were in the cave, when I thought you were dying, I found it difficult to express what I felt for you, the overwhelming passion that consumed me, it frightened me. Yet you were so patient, so kind. You were always there for me, when before I had no-one other than Prim. Peeta…I…" I struggle to get the words out. Even scripted, it's almost impossible for me to say. Peeta sees my struggle, and of course swoops in to save the day. He places his finger to my lips, hushing my broken sentence.

"I understand Katniss. I feel it too." His sentence is simple, the emotions underneath are as deep as the lake that is hidden in the woods. He holds out his flat palm towards me, lying face up. Hesitantly, my hand appears from its warm hideout in Peeta's jacket and creeps towards his. Our skin touches. His hand is warm and strong, his fingers rough from years of toiling at the bakery. However, his palm is smooth, and my fingers trace like the lines in his palm. He flips his hand, so our fingers intertwine with one another. I'd never admit it to anyone, but I secretly love the feeling of his hand in mine. We smile at one another shyly. I look up at his face, noting every tiny detail. His cheekbones lift in a crooked smile and I find myself leaning in to touch them.

"Cut!" Lato's voice interrupts my thoughts. I jump back in shock, then my cheeks flush bright red. Thankfully, the whole ordeal is over. I was in danger of doing something incredibly stupid. A tiny voice inside my head thinks, _what if Lato hadn't ended the scene?_

* * *

I wake up Sunday morning, sweaty and panicked, my breath coming in short terrified gasps. Why can't I deal with this? Why does every nightmare almost render me catatonic? I should be strong and brave; I should be there for my family. Instead, I'm weak and pathetic. I get out of bed and dress in comfortable trousers and a long-sleeved shirt. Why should I dress fashionably when we're probably not even filming? Even if we are, I'll be getting changed anyway. So I don't really see the point. I go downstairs, hearing excited chatter. I guess that the crew came early. For once, they don't seem exhausted, relying only on their black coffee just to get through the day. As soon as I enter the room, they all watch me excitedly. Lato glares in their direction, and they look down at their mugs whispering frantically amongst themselves. I watch them in confusion. What's going on? I join my mother and Prim, eating my breakfast silently. After the usual addressing from Lato, the crew scatters away. He comes over to me with Cressie trailing behind him. I smile a little at her, but she doesn't return it. She looks so melancholy, hiding her pointed face behind her hair. She doesn't even look up at me.

"Katniss," Lato says, an uncharacteristic smirk playing on his lips. "Today you'll be very busy. We're not filming anything, that's all done. All we want you to do is relax." I look at him in confusion. What _is _going on? Cinna enters and stands near us, a huge folder in his arms. His brown eyes watch me carefully. I realize that Lato is still talking. "…Upstairs with Cinna. He's going to look after you until everything's ready." He pats my shoulder then marches off, Cressie trailing in his wake. I watch her leave, noting her hunched shoulders and dejected stance. Did she have another fight with Lato? Maybe if I ask her what's wrong, she might tell me what's been going on. She seems to have a fairly good clue. But it must be something bad, if she won't even look at me. I shake my head to rid myself of unwanted thoughts. Cinna smiles encouragingly at me.

"Good morning Katniss." I look at him replying only on instinct. Growing up, my mother always taught us to be polite and courteous to everyone. I never really paid attention to it until I was reaped. I remember Effie commenting on my impeccable table manners.

"Hello Cinna." I reply quietly. I look around the room for Peeta. I haven't seen him at all this morning. My thoughts become increasingly panicked. Why isn't he here? What happened? Is he alright? Cinna lays a comforting hand on my arm, his emerald green eyes watching me in concern.

"Shall we go upstairs?" He asks. I nod weakly, forcing my limbs to shuffle after him. Once in my room, away from prying eyes, I collapse onto the sofa. The sofa dips a little and I feel Cinna's presence next to me. His hand lies comfortingly on my knee. I brush his hand away, then instantly feel guilty. He was only trying to help and I was rude. I sigh a little. What is wrong with me? Instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, I force myself to sit up straight and gain some control over my emotions.

"So what's the plan for today?" I ask Cinna. He smiles a little and reaches for his folder, opening it and flashing me a neatly written list. "Looks pretty extensive." I comment dryly. He laughs a little and then gets down to business.

"As you probably are aware, every Victor has to have a talent." He says. I nod, remembering countless TV shows about Victors and their talents. "So, in preparation for the Victory Tour, what's your 'talent'?" I stare at him, thinking about the Victory Tour. It's not for another few months but already I know that it will be hell. Parading arrogantly around the Districts, rubbing it in their faces that Peeta and I murdered their children, that they died whilst we walked away. I choke back a sob. I can't do it. I know I can't. I blink the tears away, seeing Cinna watch me silently in concern. I probably look like a crazy person to him. I've had more mood swings in the last five minutes than I've had in a year. I need to get a fucking grip.

"Does hunting illegally count?" I ask, smiling a little. Cinna laughs, shaking his head.

"As much as I'd love to say it does, you and I both know that it's not true. Anything else?" I chew my lip, thinking about it. I don't think I have any talent. The only thing you can say about me is that I'm stubborn and good with a bow. Since archery is out, I really don't think that you can class being stubborn as a talent. My mother walks into the room humming an old tune, an empty wicker basket in her arms. She sees us and stops in the middle of the room.

"I'm sorry!" She gasps. "If I'd known that anyone was in here, I wouldn't have…" I roll my eyes and tell her its okay. She didn't do anything wrong. My mother opens the teal curtains and begins to strip the covers. She frowns a little as she notices how warm the sheets are. However, she doesn't say anything. Cinna stands up, walking over to my bookshelf, pulling a book out and flipping through the pages absentmindedly.

"Mrs Everdeen?" Cinna asks. My mother's head snaps up, looking like a rabbit caught in the headlights.

"Yes?" She replies timidly.

"Katniss and I are trying to find a talent for her. Do you have any suggestions?" My mother smoothes back her dull blonde hair, frowning a little in concentration.

"What about your singing Katniss?" I stare at her in horror. "You sing beautifully. Just like…your father." Her voice breaks on the last two words. In an attempt not to lose control, she continues speaking, her voice high-pitched and rushed. "That's how he got me to go on a date with him you know. He came to the Apothecary and sang me a song that he'd written himself. It was…" Tears spring up in her eyes and she rushes from the room, sobs erupting from inside her and shaking her shoulders. The door slams shut behind her, leaving an eerie silence in her wake. Cinna stares at the closed wooden door.

"Will she be alright?" He asks in concern. I nod.

"She'll be fine." I wave away his concerns. A tiny voice inside of me reminds me of the time when my father died, when she shut herself away from the world…

_Prim and I were standing outside the entrance of the mine, watching as hundreds of men were lifted out of the ground. They were covered in soot and grime, and they all looked hopeless and exhausted. Mummy rushed towards us, clasping Prim and I close. I clutched onto her faded patterned dress, hoping to see Daddy emerge from the lift and hug us tightly. Over the next few hours, the amount of men in the lift dwindled. Still, we waited. Eventually, there was no-one left. The man in charge of the mines walked over to Mummy, placing a hand on her shoulder. _

"_I'm very sorry." He said to everyone standing there. I looked around in confusion. Where was Daddy? Then the terrible truth began to dawn on me. My father was dead. Prim's blue eyes were watery; a single tear fell down her cheek, splashing onto the grimy pavement. My mother's calloused hand stroked my brown hair. _

"_Let's go home girls." Her voice seemed surprisingly strong. I wondered how she could seem so normal after such terrible news. We got home and I dumped my school bag on the table. There was nearly complete silence in the house, except for the annoying sound of the clock on the wall. I rushed over to it, stretching up on my tip-toes, pulling the clock off the wall. It was wooden, hand carved. Daddy had made it. He would never hear it tick again. The thought made me sad and angry. Why wasn't he here? Why had he left us? I opened the door and threw the clock onto the street. It bounced to the floor, breaking into tiny pieces. Mrs Jones came out of her house and stared at me incredulously. _

"_Katniss? What do you think you're doing?" She yelled angrily, rushing over to me. "I should have a word with your mother." She threatened. I shrunk under her piercing glare. Mrs Jones was scary. She pushed me back into the house, following me in. Prim was hunched up on a kitchen chair, pulling her satchel close to her chest. Mrs Jones looked like she was about to shout again, but then she saw Mummy. Mummy had walked over to the mantelpiece, clutching a picture of Daddy to her chest. Her eyes were closed and she sounded like she was talking to herself. _

"_Mummy?" I asked. I rushed over to her, tugging on her clothes anxiously. Mrs Jones walked over, pulling me away from my Mummy. What right did she have to take me away from her? I began to yell. She turned to face me, stunning me into silence. _

"_Katniss." She said gently, a small sympathetic smile on her features. "Why don't you and Primrose go upstairs? I need to talk to your Mummy." _

"_Don't tell on me!" I begged Mrs Jones. She smiled again. _

"_I won't." She promised. "Now go!" She shooed us away with her hands. I glared at her, stomping my foot on the floor. I wanted to be there for Mummy, not stupid Mrs Jones. I was glad I wasn't Mrs Jones' daughter. She was mean. _

"_I'll tell my Daddy that you were mean to me!" I yelled, forgetting for a second that Daddy was never coming home. Mummy broke into violent sobs. _

"_He's gone." She choked out, tears streaming down her face. "He's gone Katniss!" She screeched. I took a step back. Mummy had never yelled at me before. "He's gone." Mummy repeated, quieter now. She rushed past me, pushing me out the way. She raced up the stairs and disappeared, the door slamming shut…_

I shook my head, pushing myself off the sofa. A tear fell down my face. Maybe I should check on my mother. No, I thought. She's stronger now. She'll be okay.

"So how about it?" Cinna asks gently.

"What?" I reply confused. I've completely forgotten about what we were talking about.

"Your singing." Cinna says. "Do you want that to be your talent?"

"No!" I snap. "I refuse to sing for the Capitol." I see Cinna's hurt look. "I'm sorry," I say, controlling my temper. "It's just that…it's very private and personal. I don't want anyone knowing about it." Cinna smiles a little.

"Don't worry Katniss. I promise it'll be a secret between you and me. So what else could you do?"

"I really don't know," I murmur. "I'm not very talented…" Cinna smiles sympathetically.

"Don't worry Katniss, we'll figure it out. I'll tell Effie to research some talents and she can send you a list. Perhaps you'll find your 'calling' then." He smirks. I laugh a little, wondering what talents Effie will think up. It'll probably be something incredibly stupid like flower arranging.

"Okay." I agree. There's a knock at my door. I jump up expecting my mother to be standing on the other side. It's the prep team, clutching a garment bag and several boxes.

"Darling!" Flavius exclaims, kissing my cheek. They act like they haven't seen me in weeks, even though it was only yesterday. I fight the urge to roll my eyes.

"Cinna please can we start?" Venia begs.

"Pretty please?" Octavia asks, fluttering her thick eyelashes at Cinna. "We only have five hours to make her beautiful! The fe…" She trails off when Venia nudges her knowingly.

"Octavia be quiet! You know it's supposed to be a surprise!" She admonishes. Octavia looks down, wringing her pale green hands. "What she means to say, is that we don't have much time. We are makeup artists, not miracle workers." Cinna smiles, picking up his black folder. He hands it to Venia and leaves the room, telling them to call him when they're 'done'. I realize in horror that I'm going to be prepped for a very long time. Great. Just fantastic. At least I don't really have to do anything, I just have to sit there and let them work their magic. I sigh a little. I hate being beautified. The prep team rushes into the room, setting the boxes down and opening them, spreading the contents across my dresser. There's enough make up here to disguise an army. How can they possibly use so much make up? Flavius carefully hangs up the garment bag on the door. I wonder if it's the dress I tried on yesterday. Probably. I feel like something big is about to happen, but I've got no idea what it could be. I hate surprises. The prep team usher me from my bedroom and into the bathroom. Octavia begins to run a bath, pouring in scented liquids from unknown bottles.

"Do you have some of this?" She asks me, holding up a light blue bottle. I shake my head. She rolls her eyes, looking shocked. "You mean, no-one gave you some Capitol Factor All-In-One?" I shrug my shoulders.

"Should they have given me it?" I ask. I did not know that this bottle is apparently something I urgently needed.

"Of course!" She exclaims. "Every self-respecting woman needs this!" I stare at her.

"Well, I've managed for sixteen years without it." I remind her gently.

"I do not know how." Octavia sighs, handing over a bottle. "Keep this. Now you're a Victor, you're just going to have to keep up your appearance. I'll go get another." She leaves the bathroom and I set the little bottle on the edge of the bath. I study the label. Apparently, it promises perfect hair. Why would I have a need for such a product? Still, I can see how Octavia is only trying to help. She comes back in and turns the water on. "Bath, Katniss." Obediently, I strip in front of her, handing her my clothes. She takes them out of the room and I try not to look at my naked body in the mirror. I don't hate my body, but I don't love it either. I get in the warm water, resting my head against the edge of the bath. The water washes over my skin, the foamy white bubbles crackle softly. Octavia returns kneeling behind my head. She washes my hair softly, treating it as if it is some priceless object. I close my eyes and smile as she gently kneads my head. Her fingers trail through my wet hair, washing it free from dirt and grime. The heaven doesn't last for long though. Soon, the water grows cold, and I'm forced to get out and face reality. Octavia wraps a fluffy white towel around my body, leading my back to my bedroom. Venia then dries me, helping me into a soft robe. I sit in a chair, noticing that the mirror has been covered up.

"It's a surprise." Flavius tells me, winking a little.

"You'll find out soon darling," Venia tells me. "Just relax and close your eyes. The time will fly by, you'll see." For once, she's right. The hours seem to pass in minutes as the team paint my nails, apply make-up to my skin and style my hair. Eventually, the quiet sounds of them working stops. I hear the door open and close, I presume to call Cinna. I open my eyes when I hear his quiet voice.

"Hello Katniss. You ready for the dress?" I nod. I look down at my nails hooping that they'll give me some clue. My nails look natural, but like they are painted on. I frown at them. Cinna laughs.

"I didn't want to make it obvious. Besides, they want your reaction on camera." Now I'm really confused. Why would they want my reaction to a dress? It's not like I'm going anywhere or doing anything. I guess Lato changed his mind about filming. Typical. Cinna smiles, blindfolding me once more. The dress is pulled gently over my head, the zip done up at the back. I hear Lato speaking in a hushed whisper,

"Action!" Cinna stands behind me, gently untying the elaborate knot.

"Enjoy, Girl On Fire. Tonight's your night to shine." He whispers, letting the blindfold fall from my eyes.

I gasp in shock. The dress is jet black, covered with tiny white dots. It has tiny sleeves which are tight around the top of my arm. The neckline plunges down to show off a little of my chest. The dress has a tightly fitted bodice, making me appear to have more curves than I possess. At my waist, a thick black band cinches my waist. Then, at my hips the dress flares out to my knees. A layer of black netting peeks out from the bottom of the dress. The prep team has made my eyes dark, outlined with a thin black line and grey eyeshadow. My lips are painted a bright red, making them stand out. The rest of my make-up is fairly natural, with only the slightest blush littering my cheeks.

"Cinna," I say, my voice quiet with awe. "It's…beautiful." Cinna smiles.

"You're the beautiful one Girl On Fire. Now go, enjoy the festival." I look at him in confusion. I thought that it'd be a simple meal with my mother and Prim to celebrate. It appears not. I hug him quickly, thanking him for his amazing work. I wonder what I could be doing tonight that requires me to dress up. I walk out of my bedroom, the cameras following my every move, being careful not to trip in the low black heels Cinna has dressed me in. I get to the top of the stairs and stop. The lights in the hallway have been muted, the lamp glows softly on the sideboard. Haymitch stands at the bottom of the stairs, looking surprisingly sober for once. I walk cautiously down the stairs, remembering how I'd fallen down them once. The dress moves as I do, the pleated layers twirling around me with every step that I take.

"Hey Sweetheart." Haymitch says, a proud smile on his face. His grey eyes are startlingly clear, and I wonder how the crew managed to get Haymitch to sober up for this. He's wearing a light gray suit, the silver buttons glinting in the lamplight. His normally unruly hair has been neatly combed back and he stands up straight, not hunched over like he usually does. I reach the last step and he holds out his arm to me. I take it, my fingers curling over the rough material.

"Hello Haymitch." I reply. He looks down at me. Standing at his full height, I'd never realized how tall he actually is. "You turn out well." I complement him. His smirk grows a little, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Effie got to me." He grumbled. "Well, well, well Sweetheart, who'd have thought that you could look nice for once." I shove him good-naturedly. Then he loses his teasing smirk and becomes serious. "I mean it Katniss." I pay attention because he called me by my real name, not the stupid nickname he came up with. "You really do look beautiful." I smile shyly. I'm not used to such compliments, especially ones coming from Haymitch. I watch him for signs of sarcasm, of any hint that his compliment was insincere, but I can find none. We leave the house; I clutch his arm so that I don't fall. Day is giving away to night, and the lamps in Victor's Village are not yet lit. The sun sets behind us as we walk down the steps of my house, where a gleaming black car awaits us. Haymitch helps me in, then gets in the other side. Here, there are no cameras. An unknown crew member is driving, but there's a black screen between us and him.

"What's going to happen?" I ask Haymitch curiously. He just smirks.

"I'm not allowed to tell you. Just relax and enjoy it."

"How come you came to collect me?"

"They wanted me to escort you. Victors together and all that crap. The boy wanted to, but he wasn't allowed."

"Why?" I challenge. He pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing.

"Stop asking so many questions Sweetheart, you're making my head hurt. I'm telling ya now, I don't like being sober. As soon as I get there, I'm having a drink. Think I'll need one to get through the night." I roll my eyes at him. I want to say more, but the car stops and Haymitch darts out before I have the chance to ask any more questions. He helps me out of the car, and I take his arm once more. We walk up a road, which is getting darker by the second. I realize it's the road that leads from Victor's Village to the square. What is going on? Then we're underneath the arch, and the rich smell of baking bread overcomes me. We emerge from the shadows of the arch into the light of the festival…

**Author's Note: I know, I know! I promised that this chapter would be the Harvest Festival, but as usual my writing got ahead of me. I can absolutely promise with all my heart that the next chapter will be the festival. But at least Haymitch has made a return and the dress has been revealed. I really hope it can across to you guys what it looked like in my mind. I did try to upload the image to fanfiction, but I can't get the link on my profile. Sorry. I hope you all aren't too cross with me for holding out on you all. While I'm here, I really want to thank Abi623 for all her help with this chapter. She's proofread it for me, correcting my million and one mistakes. She's also one of the most amazing people I've ever met. Please, go check out her Hunger Games fanfic Courage; it's an amazing story, literally one of the best I've ever read. Also, please leave a review, I love getting them and they are so special to me. See y'all soon!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	30. Harvest Festival

**Author's Note: Hello everyone. It finally has arrived, the festival is here! Hope you're all excited, since I've been promising this for what seems like forever. I hope it lives up to all your expectations. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I really don't own anything from Hunger Games. Everything belongs to Suzanne Collins. **

_We emerge from the shadows of the arch into the light of the festival…_

Chapter 30

I gasp in awe. The square, normally dull by most people's accounts, has been utterly transformed. Lamps are lit everywhere, sending a soft, comforting glow around the large plaza. A long table has been set up along a whole length of the square, completely covered in food. On the stone steps of the Justice Building, a small band plays a merry tune. People are dancing together, both Seam and Merchant. Their joy and laughter lights up the District. Truly, this is a unique moment, never to be repeated again. My eyes roam the square. I shake my head in disbelief. This…this is amazing. I realize I've been clasping Haymitch's arm really tightly. Biting my lip, I release the material, muttering a quiet apology. Haymitch rubs his arm, a sneaky look coming over his features. His upper lip curls as he attempts to hold back a smirk.

"Go on, Sweetheart. Enjoy." Then he lurches away from me, heading in the general direction of the bar. For a moment, I just stand there, watching everyone dance. I watch Delly toss her blonde hair, smiling happily at a boy from the Seam. It makes me smile that some people are prepared to put aside their prejudices, if only for one night. Then I glance to my right. I can see the shadow of someone watching from the window, scowling at everyone. Mrs Mellark. I grit my teeth, anger rushing through me. Then I shake my head, willing myself to calm down. No. I will not let her ruin my night.

"Katniss!" Prim exclaims, rushing over to me. She's wearing a floaty lilac skirt that flows around her legs and a white blouse with the top few buttons undone. Her blonde hair that's normally encased in a braid is tumbling free around her shoulders. It falls to the middle of her back in golden waves. Her eyes sparkle with delight, her cheeks rosy from exertion. She's beautiful.

"Prim." I hug her tightly. She holds me gingerly then pulls back.

"Careful Kat. You don't want to ruin your dress!" She giggles. Just seeing her so happy, makes me smile with pride.

"We wouldn't want that now would we?" I tease.

"Well, I don't think Effie would be too pleased." She smiles, running her fingers through her hair.

"Effie?" I question curiously. Prim tilts her head to one side, pointing out the camera crew dotted around the square.

"Yes, all the crew are here." She says. "Didn't you know?"

"No." I murmur quietly. I should have known that they would film this! I bet they've had the cameras trained on me whilst I've been staring. I can't believe that I didn't notice! Then I shake my head. The camera crew may be filming me, but they don't own me. And so far, no-one's come up to me and told me what I have to do. I haven't even seen Peeta yet. The thought of Peeta brings me back to reality. I realize Prim's staring at me, her tiny hand outstretched.

"Do you want to dance?" She asks. I'm about to back out and say no, but the image of her disappointed face fills my mind. So I nod slightly, and let her tug me into the crowd. No-one stares at me like I thought they would, and the knowledge is reassuring. Cinna made sure that my attire is noticeable, but not so much that it makes me look different from everyone else. I notice that people are wearing their best clothes for this occasion. Of course. I roll my eyes slightly. Normally, people's best clothes are reserved for special occasions, or the reaping. Clothes that must inspire dread in many people will now become symbols of happy times. I spin around Prim, my dress flaring from my hips. I feel the breeze in my hair, and I lose myself in the feeling of the dance. The upbeat tune of the fiddle dictates my movements, the soles of my shoes tap in time to the beat on the flag-stone floor. Then, I grab Prim's hand, whirling her around, smiling joyously as she laughs. Then I see my mother a few feet away, watching us with a trace of sadness in her eyes. I extend my arm out in invitation, and as she comes forward, I grab her and pull her into the circle. I see my mother grow younger in front of my eyes. The stress leaves her body, making her frame relax. The deep lines on her forehead seem to straighten and her eyes crinkle at the corners as she laughs. We dance for what feels like a long time. By the time the song has ended, I'm breathless but beaming with happiness. Immediately, the band strikes up another joyous melody, but I'm too tired to continue. I excuse myself, escaping from the crowd. I retreat to the edge of the square, watching everyone else. I lean against a shop, looking up at the night sky. The stars glitter and shine, the moon bright and full in the black velvet sky. I sigh softly. It'll all be over tomorrow. The scent of apples and alder-smoke fills my nose. I'd know that scent anywhere. I whip my head around and stare. Gale. He looks uncomfortable in his ill-fitting jacket. There are neatly sewn patches at the elbows. I know he wishes that he was anywhere but here. He hates social occasions like this. He clears his throat a little.

"Hey Catnip." I resist the urge to roll my eyes. He knows I hate that name! Still, I decide to let it go. I'm supposed to be trying to mend this friendship, not ruin it.

"Hi." I say. He shifts awkwardly, his eyes roaming up and down my body. His stare makes me feel a little uncomfortable, pinpricks of doubt stabbing me all over my body. I wrap my arms across my torso, shifting my weight from one heel to another.

"Nice dress." He murmurs, his voice deep. "You look…nice." He seems to be struggling to form words. I try to break the awkward silence by laughing it off.

"Thanks. It's a bit much for the occasion but that's the Capitol for you." I smile, but Gale's neutral expression twists into an angry snarl.

"Yeah, I guess if you've got it, why not flaunt it," He growls. "Since they don't seem to want to do anything in their lives but rub it in all our faces." He sees me watching him silently. "You wouldn't understand Katniss, since you're one of them now." I gasp, shocked.

"Gale!" I admonish him angrily. I try to calm down. There are cameras everywhere. It wouldn't be wise to cause a scene. "Please," I beg, making my tone softer. "Don't do this here."

"Why?" He says, a wild light in his slate grey eyes. I take a step forward, inhaling deeply to calm myself. The strong bitter scent of alcohol overcomes me. I've got used to the scent since spending a lot of my time around Haymitch. If Gale's drunk, I need to tread carefully. He's always had a short temper; he could be angered so easily.

"Gale." I say softly, forcing myself to walk closer to him. I shake a little as I take the next step. A voice in my head tells me to get a grip. "C'mon Gale. Don't." I cautiously touch his arm. As soon as my hand makes contact with his body, his angry stance relaxes a little. Then he hangs his head in shame.

"Sorry, Catnip." He murmurs, pulling me closer. I wriggle a little, not comfortable being so close to him. "I…"

"Shh." I tell him. "I don't want an apology." He looks at me for a long time. His expression becomes neutral once again. Then a slight smile plays on his lips.

"I know how to make it up to you." He says. I look at him confused.

"How?" I ask, but I don't have the chance to finish my sentence because he pulls me roughly into the crowd of dancers. I crash into his chest. I try to take a step back but he holds me in an iron grip. His large arms surround me tightly, his huge hands hot on my back. He spins me round awkwardly.

"You're clearly not a dancer." I tease, trying to smile. Gale rolls his eyes.

"Yeah well, neither are you. At least it runs in the family." He smirks, nodding in a different direction. I look in the direction he pointed and gasp in shock. Rory has his arms wrapped around Prim's waist; her arms are locked around his neck, her slim fingers tangled in his messy dark hair. I inhale deeply, a haze clouding my vision. I'm about to march over there when Gale makes me re-focus my attention on him. He laughs.

"Calm down Katniss, they're not doing anything."

"Not doing anything! He's got his _hands _on her waist! That's entirely inappro-" Gale frowns.

"How is it?" He questions. "As if they're doing anything different from what we're doing." I blush, shifting in humiliation. I take Gale's hands and push them off my body. He laughs again, pulling me close to him, not letting me go. Now I'm more aware of my body, I refuse to let him pull me any closer.

"That's different." I say quietly. "I don't…I mean, you don't…" I stumble over my words, trying to come up with a valid excuse. Gale shakes his head.

"C'mon Catnip, they're twelve years old! It's gonna happen sooner or later." I roll my eyes, watching Rory pull Prim closer. When she laughs, my grip tightens on Gale's arm.

"I'd rather it be never." I mutter under my breath. Gale sighs. He says nothing; we continue to dance in an awkward silence. He twirls me again, accidently stamping on my toe. I yelp in pain, trying to break free from him, but he won't let me move.

"Gale, can you let me go, please?" I ask, wanting to nurse my injured foot. He brings his face close to me, his eyes staring intently into mine.

"No." He says finally, after a long silence. I flinch at his harsh, one-worded answer.

"Please," I beg. "Let me go."

"No." He hisses. "You're mine now Catnip, and it's gonna stay that way."

"Gale, you're drunk. You'll regret this tomorrow. Now, let me go or I'll…"

"You'll what?" He whispers harshly. "You'll call the Peacekeepers?" He laughs arrogantly. "I don't think so. Will you call the camera crew? No. You'll want to keep this a secret. Or maybe, will you call Lover Boy? He's not here to protect you. You'd never call him because you 'don't want to hurt him'." His voice turns to a high-pitched sneer in a poor imitation of my voice. My breath hitches in my throat, tears coming to my eyes.

"Gale…" I intended for my voice to sound strong and stern, but instead comes out as a broken whisper.

"Hush, Catnip," He says sweetly, laying a finger on my painted lips. "You don't need to lie to me. I know you love me. I know that you lay awake at night, thinking about me. I know you have nightmares because you're trapped by him. He's trapping you Catnip, and you can't even see it." I stare up at him in fear, his arms still locked tightly around my frame.

"No, Gale! I-" I try to interrupt him but he continues speaking as if I'd never spoken. He leans in closer to me, hiding his ugly words in my hair.

"I know that when you fuck him, you wish it was me, giving you pleasure. I bet he can't make you feel good, not like I can. I can give you everything Catnip. All you have to do is come with me." Then he begins to tug me away from the crowd. I struggle against him, knowing that there's nothing he can do in front of the crowd and the cameras. But Gale's at least twice the size of me, both in height and weight, so I'm easily overpowered. He drags me away from the festival, past the greengrocers and down the quiet road that leads to the Seam. As we pass all the couples kissing, he continues tugging me until we're away from everyone, alone in a silent street. He begins to push me towards a wall.

"No." I protest, trying to get away from him. "I don't want to do this!" I shout, trying to attract the attention of someone, anyone. Gale aggressively pushes me against the wall, my head hitting the rough bricks. Gale swears under his breath, punching the space next to me. I flinch away, chills running down my spine making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

"Don't lie to me Katniss." He says, his breath hot and stinking of alcohol. "You know you want it. You can't deny me when you've spread your legs for every man that even looks at you." I shake my head furiously; the vile allegations are making me see red. I try to deny it, but he won't let me speak. "You should be grateful that I'm prepared to overlook your past Catnip. Or should I say, Kitten?" He growls the last word. I gasp in shock.

"How-how do you know about that?" I ask.

"Prim told Rory, and Rory told me. I've got to say, I wasn't happy when I heard. Only _I'm_ allowed to call you nicknames. Understand?" I bite my lip, a single tear escaping the confines of my eye and sliding down my cheek. The nickname, which once meant so much to me, that made me feel fuzzy and warm on the inside, now tainted and vile. Peeta…I wish he was here. I want to run to him, bury my face in his chest and never face the world again. Instead, I've got a drunken Gale, one who's cruel and angry. I sniff, trying to hold more tears inside. Gale leers towards me again. This time, I've had enough. I quickly bring my knee up, hitting him where it hurts most. Gale's skin turns a sickly pale, and he doubles over, his hands clutching where I hit him. I smirk. I wish I had my bow and arrows.

"No Gale. I will not let you push me around anymore. I'm sick of you trying to kiss me and attempting to make me change my mind. It's hard for me to say this, but we can't be friends when you're acting like this."

"No…" He gasps, his voice broken, his dark eyebrows knitted together in pain. "No, Catnip…don't." I roll my eyes at his pathetic attempt to win me back.

"Don't ever call me Catnip again." I growl. "Goodbye Gale." I walk away, leaving him lying in the grimy street, his pride strewn around him in broken pieces.

* * *

I run back to the festival, which is not an easy task in heels. I wobble precariously, not even daring to look over my shoulder in case he's following me. I hear my breath coming in quick short gasps, and I only stop when I see the light of the festival in front of me. I stop, waiting for the rise of my chest to slow, to make sure I look decent enough to walk back in there. I take a deep breath. My confidence is in tatters around me. I close my eyes, counting to ten in my mind. Slowly, I walk back into the happiness of the festival. The upbeat melody calms me, reminding me that everything's okay. People are still dancing; the band still continues to play. I walk away from the entrance, hiding the safety of the crowd. I hear raucous laughter. Haymitch is a few feet away, slamming his glass down on the wooden table.

"Fuck yeah!" He yells, swaying slightly. The men around him laugh at his drunken antics. I walk up to the table, and everyone stares at me. I look down at my shoes, blushing a little. "Sweetheart!" Haymitch says loudly, staggering over to me and throwing a strong arm around my shoulders. The men laugh again.

"Come on, Haymitch." I say, dragging his drunken ass away from the table. I deposit him in a random chair, sitting next to him, spreading out my dress so it doesn't become creased.

"So Sweetheart, how's ya night going?" Haymitch asks, retrieving a silver flask from his jacket pocket and taking a long sip. How did that get there?

"It's been…okay." I say quietly, not wanting to tell Haymitch about recent events. I'm sure he'd just laugh at me. Haymitch looks at me concerned through bleary eyes.

"Are ya sure?" He asks. "It don't seem like it to me." I smile a little at his concern.

"Don't worry about me." I tell him. "I'll be okay." He smiles at me, showing his yellowed crooked teeth. I'll bet he hasn't cleaned his teeth in days. I shudder a little. We sit in silence for a minute, but then he jumps up.

"I know what'll make you feel better!" He shouts, then lurches away from me. I watch him stagger away, shaking my head in disbelief. I watch the dancing crowd. When I see Prim and Rory together, I grit my teeth. I'll be having words with her about this tomorrow. He has no right to touch her like that! She's my little sister, and she's far too young to be thinking about this kind of thing. A bottle is slammed down in front of me. I look at it in confusion. "Get that down ya." Haymitch slurs, slumping in his chair.

"No, I don't think I-" Haymitch rolls his eyes.

"It's the best way to drown your sorrows." I stay silent for a while, my eyes flickering between Haymitch and the bottle. The glass is a deep shade of brown, and I can see the liquid sloshing slightly inside it. I reach out a shaking hand and grab the bottle. The glass feels smooth and cool to my fingers. Cautiously, I unscrew the lid, scrunching up my nose as the familiar smell overcomes me. Let's hope it tastes better than it smells. I bring the bottle up to my lips and take a sip. The better liquid swirls around my mouth, coating the inside. It's disgusting! Spluttering, I spew it out of my mouth. Droplets land in a shower around me. I cough, spitting the remains onto the floor behind me.

"Haymitch, why did you suggest this?" I splutter, wishing I had some water to swill the bitter taste away. He laughs so much he's doubled over, clutching his stomach.

"That…" He gasps. "Has got to be one of the best things I've ever seen!" He begins to giggle like a little boy. I roll my eyes at his antics.

"Whatever Haymitch. I'm going to find Peeta." I say, standing up. Haymitch stops laughing and stares at me, suddenly serious.

"Sure, go find the boy when the other one don't work out." He says, anger lacing his tone.

"Haymitch, that's not how it is!" I say anxiously.

"Oh really?" He replies. "Clearly, you didn't see yourself with Hawthorne. Looked pretty intimate to the rest of us." I run my fingers through my hair. "You've got to stop treating him as second best. He's not a toy Katniss!"

"Don't you think I know that?" I snap angrily. "He's one of the most important people to me; I of all people know he's not a toy!" Then I stop myself talking. I can't believe that I said that to Haymitch! Haymitch smirks.

"Well, Sweetheart, I didn't know it was like that. Clearly, there's more going on here than anyone believes. I thought this 'wasn't real?'." He quotes. I can't take it anymore, tears coming to my eyes. So I turn and run, away from Haymitch, away from everyone. People stare curiously as I push past them, my hair flying out around me. I finally find a secluded area in the square. I slump against the door of the ancient sweetshop, burying my face into my hands. They don't understand. No-one understands. Every day…it's a living hell. I can't cope with it anymore.

"Katniss?" A soft voice asks. I'd know that voice anywhere, the voice that soothes and relaxes me.

"Peeta!" I choke out, tears falling freely from my eyes. I probably look like a mess, red-faced from crying, makeup running everywhere. But Peeta doesn't seem to care. He pulls me close to him and lets me cry. I bury my face into his strong chest, inhaling the sweet scent of cinnamon and him. I feel his arms around me, protecting and comforting. He whispers sweet nothings into my ear and I close my eyes, listening to the sound of his voice, deep and rich. I take a deep breath in, my tears finally slowing.

"What's wrong?" He asks softly. My first instinct is to push away from him, to bear the problem on my own shoulders. But a second instinct overpowers the first. This instinct is to tell him, to let him help.

"Gale." I whisper. Peeta's arms tighten protectively around me. "He wouldn't let me go when we were dancing. He dragged me away from the crowds. I tried to tell him no, but he…" I couldn't continue anymore. I dared to glance up at Peeta's face and flinched away from his expression. It was murderous. I've only seen that expression once before, when the reporter had tried to hurt me. His cerulean eyes seem frozen, his jawline tense with anger.

"I'm going to kill him." He mutters under his breath. He stands up, fists clenched at either side of him. "I'm going to fucking murder him." He growls, beginning to stride away from me. I jump up and run after him which is difficult, considering three of my strides match one of mine. I eventually catch up to him, and I grab the sleeve of his jacket, spinning him round to face me.

"Peeta you can't!" I beg him. He can't fight Gale! I know he's strong, and would probably win easily, but the thought of him being harmed is…unthinkable. Peeta stares at me in horror.

"Why are you protecting him?" He asks angrily. "He hurt you Katniss! He can't be allowed to get away with that!" He takes another step forward. I hold on to his suit tighter, the rough material clenched tightly in my fingertips.

"Peeta, please!" I beg, shaking at the thought of Gale hurting him. "He was drunk; he didn't know what he was doing!" I babble, saying anything to get him to stay. Peeta shakes his head, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and finger. I start to talk again, hoping it'll convince him to stop this madness. "Peeta, it's not what you think. He didn't…I mean, he only tried to kiss me, nothing else happened!" Peeta's eyes fly open, staring down at me intently.

"It doesn't make it right." He mutters. "He still _touched_ you against your will. That's wrong; I can't let him get away with it."

"You can't go after him Peeta. There are cameras everywhere!" I hiss anxiously. "If you go marching in, determined to harm him, what will the crew think! You can't afford to lose your temper." He turns his head away from me, watching the crowd. You can almost see the cogs whirl in his mind as he internally debates with himself. "Look at me." I whisper. His face turns obediently. I bring my hand up, cupping his cheek, stroking his cheekbone with my thumb. "I'm okay. I'm alive. He didn't harm me. Wouldn't it be best to just leave it be?" He looks at me for a long time, almost as if he's looking right through me. Then he sighs quietly, hanging his head.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, pulling me into his arms. He buries his face into my neck, hiding his face in my dark hair. The sensation of his lips against my shoulder is intoxicating, more so than that disgusting beer that Haymitch tried to make me drink.

"It's okay." I whisper in reply, leaning against him. His arms support me, stopping me from collapsing. I close my eyes, strange sensations running down my spine.

"Did I mention how gorgeous you look?" He whispers softly. I smile a little as his compliment.

"No, I don't think you mentioned it." I tease, and just like that, the tension from a moment ago is gone. He pulls away from me slightly, looking at my body. Strangely, it doesn't feel uncomfortable like it did with Gale. It feels…nice. I look at him too. With everything that's happened tonight, I've not had a chance to notice how handsome he looks. His suit is a deep black, the same colour as my dress. His shirt is white, and paired with a blue waistcoat that's the exact same shade as his eyes. His hair has been carefully styled, not curling over his forehead. I feel a blush rise to my cheeks as I stare at him. Then he smiles softly, extending his arm politely.

"Would you care for a dance Katniss?" I smile and duck my head shyly. I reach out my hand and curl it around his arm.

"Yes." I reply softly. He escorts me into the crowd. We break apart, just watching each other. Suddenly, I'm not sure how to begin. Then the upbeat song melts away and transitions into a soft, slow ballad. I know the song from somewhere, but I cannot seem to remember the title. Instead, I focus on Peeta. He steps forward, gently wrapping one of his arms around my waist. It feels warm and strong against my lower back. I place my hand on his bicep, gripping the strong muscle beneath. Our hands tangle softly, intertwining until our hands are one. Then I step backwards as he steps forwards, and we begin to dance. Everything fades away; all I can focus on is the gentle, lilting melody and Peeta. I look into his eyes, smiling softly. This moment is perfect, and I never want it to end. He looks down at me, pride and an indescribable emotion twinkling in his eyes. I step closer to him, so close that our bodies touch. I feel his chest against mine, our hearts beating in perfect synchronization. The song slows slightly, and he breaks our hold, gently twirling me. He catches me, and holds me against him. I wrap my arms around his neck, my back to his chest. We sway from side to side, his head resting against my neck. Then he pushes me away gently, turning me round to face him then pulling me back into him. He holds me softly. I feel protected, safe. Then the song ends, the music swelling then dying away, the fiddle holding onto the last unbearably sweet note. There's a moment of silence, then all around us, I hear the sound of stunned applause. I turn away from Peeta and see that people had stopped dancing and were watching us. I blush, feeling shy suddenly. I'm not used to being center of attention. I notice the cameras all trained on us, anger rushing through me suddenly. That the moment was private, something special between Peeta and I. It annoys me that this will be aired to all Panem. The thought of President Snow watching us dance, makes my skin crawl with goosebumps. Then I feel Peeta's warm hand in mine, and I forget about Snow. I forget about the rest of Panem watching our every move like greedy vultures, waiting for their prey. I reach up and kiss him, his lips pressing softly against mine. I meant for the kiss to be short and sweet, but the feeling of his lips on mine confuses my mind, and the kiss grows more passionate by the second. I tangle my fingers in his blonde locks, ruining the careful style of it. His hands grip my hips, drawing me closer. I go willingly. A breathy sound escapes out of my throat, but I can't bring myself to be embarrassed about it. Slowly, he breaks the kiss, leaning his forehead against mine. Involuntarily, I let out a tiny whine at the loss of contact. He laughs a little. He grabs my hand and guides me through the staring crowd. We eventually break through, and I take a deep breath in, the cool night air feeling chilly against my heated skin. Lato appears out of nowhere, beaming as brightly as the shiny brass buttons on his waistcoat.

"Excellent job. I'm very impressed! And the kiss at the end, it was the perfect touch to end the show. Well done Miss Everdeen." He nods at us both, shakes Peeta's hand then leaves. We look at each other; Peeta's eyes hold a hint of sadness. Does he think I kissed him just for the cameras? Does he believe that I hold no feelings for him at all? I'm about to open my mouth when Thom comes running up to us.

"Katniss you need to come with me." He says, gesturing behind him. I put a little distance between Peeta and I, ensuring that our hands are still joined.

"Why? What's wrong?" I ask him, feeling worried. Is someone hurt? My mind instantly flickers to Prim and I shake a little. It then immediately jumps to Rory. Then I shake my head, ashamed of my thoughts. The Hawthorne's are a good family. Hazelle raised them to be polite and well-mannered. All of her children are wonderful. Well, except Gale. Then I sigh a little. Gale can be nice, when he wants to be. The rest of the time, he's just an asshole. Thom utters one word, then turns and runs back in the direction he came in.

"Haymitch." Peeta and I look at each other, a silent conversation running through our minds. Then we turn and run after Thom. I bite my lip, worrying about Haymitch. What if he's…I refuse to let my mind finish the thought. We find him lying down outside the bar, one of his arms splayed out in front of him, still clutching a bottle tightly. I sigh a little, bending down and shaking him softly.

"Haymitch? Haymitch, wake up." He just groans in response. I look at Peeta, silently asking him for help. He takes one of Haymitch's arms and I grab the other. We pull, and after a lot of effort finally get him on his feet.

"Thanks for telling us." Peeta says, slipping a note into Thom's pocket. He tries to protest, but Peeta carries on speaking before he can refuse. I smile a little. That's so like Peeta. He's so generous. "We'll take him home and get him cleaned up."

"Are you sure you don't want any help?" Thom asks.

"No, we'll be fine." I reply. "We've dealt with worse." I smile wryly at Peeta, and he has the decency to look ashamed. Slowly, we begin to drag Haymitch away from the festival. His eyes are half-open. He fixes one glassy stare at me.

"Nice job, Sweetheart." He slurs drunkenly. I roll my eyes.

"I don't know what you mean." I reply smoothly, tugging him harder. He grunts in pain.

"Ya know what I mean. I saw that smooch!" He lets out a large belch. I turn my face away in disgust. Instead he turns to Peeta and begins to probe him instead. "Did ya enjoy it boy?" He asks. Peeta stares at him disdainfully, saying nothing. "Ya realize she left with Hawthorne earlier?" He grins, wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. Peeta's calm expression suddenly becomes thunderous.

"Yes, Haymitch, I do. I also know exactly what happened, so don't you dare try to imply things which aren't true." I send a grateful glance at Peeta. Haymitch raises his eyebrows, feigning hurt.

"Oooh, someone's touchy tonight! You really need to get laid boy, that'll sort out your surly-ass attitude." Peeta glares at him. Haymitch looks at him condescendingly. "Is your right hand not working anymore?" He asks innocently. Peeta blushes a bright scarlet, watching the floor. I watch the exchange, feeling very confused. Haymitch turns to me, shaking his head. "Oh Sweetheart, you'll learn one day. I'm sure the boy can teach ya a few things, eh?" He laughs raucously, then breaks free of our grip. He staggers over to his house, clambering awkwardly up the steps, kicking open his door, waltzing in then slamming it shut. The loud bang resonates all over the silent Victor's Village. Peeta and I walk in silence to my house. He escorts me to the door, then leans against the wood, staring at his shoes.

"I guess I should go." He murmurs softly. He leans in and kisses me on the cheek sweetly. "Thanks for tonight." Then he turns to leave, walking down the steps. Suddenly, I decide that I can't stand it if he leaves.

"Peeta wait!" I call after him. He stops and turns, a hopeful expression displayed on his features. "I…I want you to stay." I say quietly. He turns and walks back up the steps, his footsteps heavy. Quietly, we enter my house. The light in the kitchen indicates that my mother is back. I hold a finger to my lips, warning him to be as quiet as possible. I'm certain that she would not approve of an impromptu sleepover. He grins playfully, deliberately stomping upstairs.

"Katniss?" My mother's voice calls questioningly. I freeze. She comes out into the hallway, staring at me, her hands on her hips. I wonder how I'll explain Peeta behind me.

"Well," I stammer anxiously. "I…well we-" My mother frowns.

"We? There's no-one there, Katniss!" I whirl around to see only the thick carpet on the stairs. When did Peeta disappear?

"Well…I, erm…thought that-" My mother rolls her eyes irritated.

"All I was going to say was that it's very late. You should have been in bed long before now. Go on, upstairs." She sighs and I eagerly escape. I walk cautiously into the hallway, calling Peeta's name softly. He doesn't appear. I wonder if he escaped out of a window? I walk into my room. It's in complete darkness. I shut the door behind me, hearing the soft click as it shuts. I sit on my bed, wondering if Peeta will show up. Then something melts out of the shadows, making me jump.

"Peeta!" I hiss. "You terrified me!" He smirks mischievously, sitting on the bed next to me.

"Well, now we're alone, what are we going to do?" He teases. I roll my eyes, standing up and arranging the covers the way I like them.

"We are going to sleep." I tell him. He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and I push his shoulder good-naturedly.

"Damn." He mutters quietly, flashing a cheeky smile my way. I head over to my drawers, pulling out a pair of huge cotton trousers. Hopefully they'll fit. I've no idea why they're even in there, but who knows, maybe the Capitol foresaw a situation like this. The thought makes me shudder a little, then I shake it away. We're not doing anything but sleeping, I remind myself sternly. I hand him the bottoms, blushing a little. He takes them and then leaves, shutting the teal curtains behind him. A few seconds later he's back. The bottoms fit him perfectly. I frown, wondering why they're here, and more importantly, who put them there? I look up, then flush scarlet. He's not wearing a shirt. I politely avert my eyes and he laughs at my shyness. "I'd normally wear a shirt," he mutters. "But since you don't have anything, and I can't exactly sleep in the suit…" He trails off awkwardly. "But if you're uncomfortable, I can go."

"No!" I exclaim loudly, and he raises an eyebrow at me, reminding me to be quiet. "No, what I meant was, it's okay. I mean, I don't mind." I stammer a little, internally cursing my naivety. He smiles a little. I grab the first pair of pajamas I see, tightly shutting the curtains behind me. I turn around to grab the zipper for my dress, trying to grasp it. Giving up, I sigh heavily. Normally, I'd get Prim to help me, but I'm sure she's asleep. It also wouldn't be fair to wake my mother. I internally debate between sleeping in my dress and asking Peeta to help me. In the end, the second option wins. "Peeta?" I call softly. He sticks his head out of the curtains, confused. "I'm stuck." I explain awkwardly, gesturing to my dress. He nods a little, walking over to me.

"I think I can help with that." He says quietly. His hand touches my dress and I jump a little. This feels far more intimate than earlier.

"Don't look." I tell him sternly. He watches me, his blue eyes staring right through me.

"I promise." He says, and the words have a real depth. His tone reassures me, I know he won't look. He takes hold of the zipper, then closing his eyes tightly, begins to drag it down. The dress instantly falls away from me, pooling at my feet. His hand returns to his side, his eyes still tightly closed. Quickly, I step out of the dress and pull off my underwear, throwing them into a random corner of the room. I pull on my pajamas, then tell him it's okay to open his eyes. When he opens them he smiles, grabbing a couple of cushions off my bed.

"What are you doing?" I ask him. He takes them onto my sofa, arranging them neatly at one end.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He replies softly. "I'm sleeping on the sofa."

"No, you are not." I tell him firmly. "Peeta, we shared a sleeping bag for a week in the Games. Surely you can handle one night in a double bed?" He smiles at that, gathering the cushions and placing them back on the bed. Then he gets under the covers, as do I. I turn off the light and we lie there on our backs in the darkness. He leans over me, and I wonder if he's about to kiss me again. I'm ashamed to admit how much I want him to. But he doesn't. He brushes a stray lock of hair off my cheek, then kisses it softly.

"Goodnight, Katniss." He murmurs, pulling away from me and lying back down again. I turn so I'm facing him, then shuffle a little closer, closing my eyes.

"Goodnight, Peeta." I reply softly. I don't hear his gentle response, sleep taking over me.

**Author's Note: This chapter is finally finished! I can hardly believe it. I've never been so stressed out about a chapter before! I am also aware that this chapter is huge. I didn't plan on it being that way but it seemed to fit. I hope that the festival matched up to your expectations. I tried to write it the way I saw it in my head, and this is what came out. Also, I added cute Everlark moments, because who doesn't love some of that? I want to thank Brooklyn Duo for this chapter; truly, I couldn't get through this chapter without listening to their music. You should check them out, they produce truly inspiring work. I definitely recommend it to any authors! I also want to thank Abi623, for all her help and support, and thank you so much for proofreading it for me! Please leave a review. Did you enjoy the long chapter? Should I write them more often? What did you think of the festival? Please, let me know, I want to hear from you all! **

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	31. The End Is Just The Beginning

**Author's Note: Hi everyone. I can't believe its April already, where is the year going? Thanks for the response to the last chapter; I'm glad that lots of you liked it. I was really worried that it wasn't going to match up to everyone's expectations; I don't think I've ever worked so hard on a chapter! Anyway, onto chapter 31! Enjoy…**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own anything from Hunger Games; it belongs only to Suzanne Collins. **

_I don't hear his gentle response, sleep taking over me._

Chapter 31

My eyes flutter open for a second, then instantly close shut again. I'm too warm and comfortable to be bothered to wake up. I snuggle closer to my pillow, feeling the crumpled sheets slide softly over my skin. Outside birds sing in melodious harmony, and a slight breeze is wafting through the open window. The thought makes my still sleepy mind wake up a little. I'm sure I didn't open it last night…

That's when I realize my back is pressed against a large, warm body. A very half-naked body. I turn slightly, so that I'm lying on my back. Peeta is still fast asleep, a lock of blonde hair resting on his forehead. I carefully study his face. He looks so peaceful in sleep, a slight smile on his face. His large hand is curled over my stomach. My top has ridden up slightly, so his hand rests over the bare skin of my torso. His hand feels rough, but it also protective and warm. I should feel embarrassed and ashamed, I should want to push his hand away from me, but I don't. Strangely, it feels so normal to be lying here with him. I always feel so safe around him. I guess that's from the Games, when he was the only person I came to rely on. Then my eyes move away from his face and stare at his chest. Last night, I was too embarrassed to look, but now he's asleep, I'm free to explore the unknown territory. Cautiously, I reach up a hand and lay it across his heated skin. I can feel the muscles rippling underneath my fingertips as his chest rises and falls. I glance at his face to check if he's still asleep. He's so strong. It's clear that years of lifting heavy sacks of flour have left their mark on his body. Then I hear a slight noise in his throat and withdraw my hand quickly, embarrassed to be caught touching him. He chuckles a little, his voice husky from sleep.

"Did you enjoy that?" He murmurs, a twinkle shining in his blue depths. I blush scarlet, suddenly becoming very interested in my hands. My fingers curl through my tangled strands of hair nervously. A gentle hand underneath my chin forces me to look up at him. "It's okay Katniss. I really didn't mind." He says, an indescribable emotion in his eyes.

"You didn't?" I whisper in reply. He laughs softly, closing his eyes, resting his head back on the pillow.

"Does it look like I didn't enjoy it?" He replies, smiling a little. Nervously, I place my hand back on his chest, and he sighs a little. His eyes then open, but he says nothing, watching me silently. Instead of heading to the muscles further down, I trace his collarbones, making my way to the smattering of golden hair in the middle of his chest. It feels coarse, but soft at the same time. This is unexplored territory for me. His blue eyes gaze intently into my grey ones. Sunlight streams into my bedroom, the new day making its presence known. As warm and comfortable as I am, I know we cannot stay like this forever.

"We're going to have to get up in a minute." I say quietly, looking up at him. Peeta sighs, suddenly pulling me closer to him so I'm snuggled tightly against his chest, fitting together like two puzzle pieces. He buries his face in my messy hair.

"Do we really have to?" He questions. "I don't know about you, but I'm perfectly happy to stay here forever." I smile in response.

"Me too," I reply. Strangely enough, I really mean it. "But unfortunately, we can't." I jump up from the bed before he can catch me, instantly missing his warmth. He groans, pulling the covers over his head. I rush over to him, attempting to pull the covers away. He turns away from me, wrapping himself tightly in the sheets so I can't grab them.

"No…" He moans. "I don't want to!" I roll my eyes, but I can't help but laugh.

"I thought you were a baker; doesn't that mean you're used to early mornings?" I tease. He sticks his head from under the covers to glare at me. I put my hands on my hips, giving him my best stare. His eyes widen in surprise for a second, then he grins cheekily at me. "Don't you grin at me, Mellark." I tell him sternly. "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." He smirks again.

"Oh really, Everdeen? I'm sure I can handle you when you're angry." He smirks again, and I see his plan. Before he can grab me, I twirl away from him, escaping into the main area of my bedroom. He growls playfully, throwing the covers off him and running after me. We chase each other around the room, laughing. Then he darts around and grabs me. As I begin to fall he catches me, causing us to land on the black sofa. The soft material sinks under our weight, making me giggle. I'm trapped beneath him, with no way to escape. His body presses into mine, large and warm. It feels nicer than it should do. Peeta smirks above me, his eyebrows rising in a challenge. "So, now I've caught you, what should I do with you?" He asks. I'm breathless from running, my heart pounding wildly in my chest. He puts his weight on his elbows, lifting himself off me a little, brushing my hair away from my face. I gaze up at him, unable to say a thing. He begins to lean down, my eyes close, the anticipation of what's to come sending shivers down my spine.

"Kat!" Prim's voice gasps. I jump nervously, causing Peeta and I to bump our heads together. I rub my forehead ruefully, trying to extricate myself from this complicated embrace. I sit up, crossing my arms over myself in embarrassment. I can't believe my little sister caught me, almost about to…I blush scarlet at the thought. I remember what I was going to do this morning before I went to the lake. I was going to talk to Prim about what happened with Rory last night. I close my eyes in humiliation. I'm such a hypocrite! How can I be a good influence for my sister when I'm sneaking around and kissing boys in my bedroom? I sink further into the sofa, wishing it would swallow me whole.

"Morning Prim!" Peeta says cheerfully, walking over to a chair where his clothes lie neatly across it. I see Prim's eyes following him silently, obviously noting his state of undress.

"This, is _not_ what it looks like!" I gasp, burying my face in my hands. Then to my astonishment, Prim begins to laugh, tremors rocking her tiny frame. She clutches her flat stomach, collapsing onto the sofa.

"Katniss…your face!" She finally bursts out. "That's got to be the funniest thing I've ever seen!" I stare at her shocked. Has she gone mad? Eventually she stops laughing, gasping for breath. Peeta walks over to us, fully dressed in yesterday's crumpled clothes. He starts to walk to the door, but I jump up and stop him.

"You can't go downstairs!" I hiss. He turns to me, a crooked smirk playing on his lips.

"Why not?" He asks. I glare at him, annoyance creeping through me.

"You know fully well why not Peeta Mellark." His eyes widen in surprise, then a look of innocence passes over his face.

"No, I really don't know." He says. I growl in frustration. Why can't he be serious for once? He sees my look and gives up playing games. "Fine, I'll go out the window." He sighs, looking around the room to make sure he has everything. He walks over to the window, opening it wider. He sits on the window sill, the buttons on his crumpled white shirt done up wrong. I sigh a little, going over to him and fixing them. He flashes me a smile of genuine appreciation, then pulls me into an unexpected hug. His arms wrap around me, and no matter how annoyed I am, it just seems to melt away in his embrace. He leans in closer to me, whispering in my ear.

"I'm sorry." I pull back a little and look at him in confusion.

"What for?" I ask.

"For making you feel uncomfortable." He says softly. "I shouldn't have done that." I smile at his simple apology.

"I forgive you." I reply. Then I step away from his warm embrace, pushing him towards the window. "Now go, before my family finds out we had a sleepover." He smiles, flashing his pearly white teeth.

"Nice to see you Prim!" He calls out, giving her a cheeky wave. She grins back at him and I roll my eyes. Then he disappears, and I shut the window, feeling cold all of a sudden. I turn back to my room, straightening the covers on my bed. Prim follows me, and I desperately try to ignore her presence.

"So," She says. "Did you have fun last night?" I stare at her, and she is quick to clarify.

"At the festival, I mean." I nod a little, remembering the surge of powerful emotions that coursed through me when I danced with Peeta.

"Yes…It was nice." But the repressed memories of Gale sneak through my mind, sending an unwanted shiver down my spine. I shake my head to clear my thoughts and smile softly at Prim.

"So," I say, "I saw you and Rory dancing together last night..." Now it's Prim's turn to blush. She looks at the floor, twisting her hands together awkwardly. She looks up at me earnestly, worry in her eyes.

"You're not angry are you Kat?" My teasing smile drops instantly. How could Prim think that I would be angry with her? If I was angry with anyone, it'd be Rory.

"No!" I exclaim, pulling her to me for a tight hug. I kiss the top of her head, inhaling her sweet scent. "Of course I'm not cross with you Prim! I'm only disappointed that you didn't tell me." Prim pulls away from me, burying her face in her hands.

"I wanted to!" She bursts out, the sound muffled by her hands. "You're just so busy all the time; I thought you wouldn't be interested…" She trails off when she sees me staring at her. I can't believe that she thinks I wouldn't have time for my own sister! I'm such a terrible person. I look straight into Prim's eyes as I speak.

"I _always _have time for you Little Duck! Please, don't ever think that I don't care. I do! I care so much about you Prim, everything I do, I do for you." I tell her honestly. Prim launches herself into my arms, sobbing. I stroke her hair softly and murmur words of comfort. Prim smiles, wiping her eyes with the bottom of her shirt.

"Well, I'm not your whole life!" She giggles. I look at her confused and she rolls her eyes in exasperation. "I'm sure Peeta plays a pretty big role too!" I shake my head good-naturedly, blushing a little.

"Yes, well, he's a friend." I tell her. Prim stares at me, her eyebrows raised.

"Really?" She replies. "Well, I'm not sure if last night counts as _friendship_, but if you want to call it that then go ahead." She laughs. I blush a little. I'm not ready to think about such things. I swore to only think about it at the lake. Prim goes to leave the room, but I stop her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Erm, Prim, you won't tell Mother about this, will you?" I ask, embarrassed. I can't believe I'm asking my little sister to keep this a secret. I internally roll my eyes at myself. Prim smiles.

"Of course Kat." Then she leaves, claiming she needs to milk Lady before saying goodbye to the crew. I sigh, then remind myself that it's only for a few minutes, that afterwards I can escape to the lake and figure everything out. I dress quickly in comfortable clothes; I don't see why I should make a huge effort for the crew. It's not like they're going to be filming anything. I braid my hair, and the normalcy of the routine comforts me. I grab my game bag from the cupboard, packing an extra blanket in case I get cold. Since it's now September, the air can turn cool very quickly. I pull a woolen hat over my head to keep me warm, and then head downstairs. The kitchen is eerily quiet. I've got used to the loud meetings in the morning, when all the crew would crowd around the table, drinking stewed coffee and trying to wake up for the day. Now it's only my Mother and Prim talking quietly. When they see me, they stand up, putting their mugs in the sink, pulling on various coats. Prim picks up her school bag and I offer to walk her to school. I'm going to the woods anyway, and it would be nice to spend some time with Prim. I must talk to her more. I can't stand that she thinks I don't have time for her. I pull on my old leather boots and my father's jacket, and I'm all set.

"Katniss." My mother's voice breaks the silence. I turn to her and she hands me a small box, packed with food. I take it from her, peering at the contents. Sandwiches and small pastries, no doubt made by Peeta's talented hands. I smile softly, packing it into my bag, feeling touched that she would think to pack me some lunch.

"Thank you," I reply. "It's very thoughtful of you." My mother smiles a little, tightening the shawl she has wrapped around her small body.

"It's no problem Katniss. Where are you hunting today?" She asks conversationally.

"I'm actually going to the lake." I say, making myself a flask of sweet tea. My mother frowns a little.

"It's a little too cold to be swimming Katniss." I roll my eyes.

"I'm not swimming Mother; I'm just going to the cabin for a while. I might sleep there tonight, if that's okay with you." My mother nods a little.

"It's fine," She replies. "Just be careful. If it gets too cold, come home." I nod; tightening the lid of the flask to ensure it won't leak, and then stuff it in my game bag. I've no idea how long I'll be gone, and I want to be prepared. I haven't been to the lake since before the reaping, and I'm sure that the cabin could use some fixing up. We all leave the house in silence, walking over to the small crowd gathered in the middle of Victor's Village. Lato is stood on his box once more, making a speech about how well we've all done. I glance around the crowd, noting every person who's there. Even Haymitch is there, looking very hungover. Good. He deserves it after last night. Lato finishes his speech then there's a flurry of activity. The crew packs everything into the cars, ready to take to the station. We line up waiting for them. Each crew member comes up to us, thanking us and saying their goodbyes. They go to Peeta first, then me, my mother, Prim and then Haymitch. I shake hands with all the crew members who I didn't know very well. They all stifle sobs, their high-pitched voices shaking with emotion. Then the prep teams appear. Flavius squeezes me in a tight hug, kissing me exuberantly on both cheeks. I scrub my cheek a little, rolling my eyes when my finger comes back a vibrant shade of purple. Octavia hugs me warmly, holding my hands tightly. Venia gives my shoulder a comforting pat.

"Thank you so much for coming." I tell them honestly. They may be annoying at times, but they do know how to make me beautiful. It's a difficult task I'm sure, but they have always persevered, even when I've been snappy with them.

"It's alright darling," Venia says, smiling a little. "It's been our pleasure."

"We'll miss you!" Flavius bursts out. "Don't forget; use Capitol Factor All-In-One! If you don't, we'll know about it!" I grin, shaking my head good-naturedly.

"Goodbye Katniss," Octavia whispers, tears running down her green skin. I hug her gently, patting her on the back. Octavia has always been the most sensitive one of the three.

"Goodbye Octavia." I reply.

"It's been an honor to know you and be your friend." She says, her voice wobbling. Then Venia puts a comforting arm around her shoulders, leading her away from me and towards the waiting cars. Flavius smiles then disappears after them. I bite my lip. I never thought I would say this, but it's only now that I realize I'll miss them. Then Portia and Cinna come up, and I wrap him in a tight hug.

"Thank you for everything." I say to Cinna. That's all I need to say. Cinna understands me more in the few months he's known me than most people do in years. I could babble on and on about the dresses, about his patient caring nature, but it's not necessary. He nods, quietly accepting my thanks.

"Remember, I'm still betting on you Girl on Fire." I smile at the use of his nickname for me. "Call me anytime you need." I nod, hugging him once more. We say no goodbye; he just nods then turns and walks over to a car, holding the door open for Portia. She smiles at him graciously, then they get in the black car together. Effie then totters up, kissing Peeta on both cheeks. She sighs at me, making a tissue appear out of nowhere and gently wipes the lipstick stain away. I feel touched that she would do that for me. Then she kisses me on the cheek exuberantly, clasping Peeta and I to her in an embrace.

"Goodbye Effie." Peeta says politely, smiling at her. She smiles back, no trace of tears in her professional features.

"Goodbye darlings." Effie says briskly. "I'll see you both at the Victory Tour!" The thought makes me shiver a little. It's only four months today until the Victory Tour. I'm not ready. The thought makes me feel sick to my stomach. Effie walks off, her heels clicking loudly on the cracked pavement. She gracefully gets into the car, arranging her dress around her. Peeta looks at me in concern.

"You okay?" He asks, laying a hand on my arm. I smile at him, taking a deep breath in.

"I will be." I reply softly. Peeta nods and removes his arm, sending a worried glance in my direction. Cressie then steps up saying a soft goodbye to Peeta, firmly shaking his hand. Then she throws her arms around me, shocking me a little. She buries her face into my hair, whispering so that no-one else can hear her words.

"Remember what I told you Katniss. Promise me." I nod a little and she continues. "Have courage. Everything will work out." Then she pulls away and smiles. "I'll see you soon." She says, stepping away from me and going to the car, ignoring the angry glares from her father. Finally Lato comes up, shakes both our hands, staring at me curiously. Then he spins smartly on his heel and leaves. The procession of cars start, the engines choking to life, filling the silent Victor's Village with vicious snarls. Then they speed away, sending up a cloud of gravel behind them. Haymitch then staggers away, presumably back to the darkness of his house. I turn to my family, re-arranging the position of the game bag on my shoulder.

"Well, I'd best be getting off if I want to be there before dark." My mother nods, kissing me on the cheek.

"Try not to stay out all night Katniss," My mother warns. "Please, be safe."

"I will." I reply softly. Prim picks up her school bag, and we start the long walk to school. The slight breeze from this morning has picked up a little, blowing strands of hair away from my face. I shiver a little, pulling my father's jacket tighter around my body. Prim watches me, her arms swinging as she walks.

"Why are you doing this?" She asks curiously. I sigh a little. This is exactly the question I didn't want her to ask. Prim's so intuitive, she can sense the truth if things before you've even opened your mouth. "I mean, if you'd have told me before the Reaping, I'd think it was just for hunting. But it's more than that, isn't it? Katniss?" She probes.

"I just need to think." I mutter quietly.

"About what?" Prim replies questioningly.

"Stuff." I say, not wanting to divulge the real reason. An awkward silence falls around us; the only sound is the sharp crunching of gravel under my leather boots.

"Katniss?" Prim asks in a small voice.

"Yeah?" I reply, looking at her tiny frame shrouded in a fur lined jacket.

"Well, you know how Rory and I danced last night?"

"Yeah, I do remember." I say, my lips pursing at the thought.

"It's just that, I'm not sure how to talk to him. Do I go up to him? Would that be weird?" I think about this for a second. Why is she coming to me for advice? I'm the last person to be asking about this kind of thing!

"I'm not sure," I murmur. "He might think it's weird if you go up to him. If he really likes you Prim, he'll come up and talk to you." I can't believe I'm giving relationship advice to my sister. She's really far too young to be thinking about this kind of thing. I wonder if Mother knows? Of course she doesn't. If she thinks I'm too young for a boyfriend, I can't begin to imagine what her reaction would be if she found out Prim was interested in a boy. Then again, she might be happy for her, considering its Rory Hawthorne. She loves their family.

"Do you really think so?" Prim replies eagerly, her eyes brightening with excitement. I smile at her and nod.

"Course I'm sure." Prim reaches over and takes my gloved hand, squeezing it in gratitude.

"Thanks Kat." We emerge into the square, and I shiver in the cool air, the warm scent of freshly baked bread seeping through the air towards us. I inhale deeply, breathing in the sweet scent. "Go in." I hear Prim say, watching me. I look at her in confusion.

"What?" Prim rolls her eyes.

"Go in there and buy some bread. I think you'll collapse any minute if you don't!" She laughs a little, then stops when she sees my hesitation. "Do you want me to come with you?" I bite my lip, looking longingly at the brightly lit windows, the crowd of customers in the shop doorway, anxious to get a freshly-baked loaf. I nod reluctantly, Prim taking my hand and dragging me into the queue. I look down at my boots, trying to ignore the incredulous stares that are being sent our way. Prim smiles at everyone, laughing and chatting with the strangers as if she's known them for years. I look at her fondly, her cheeks flushed from the cold, her silky hair tied in two neat braids, her eyes bright and shining. Every few seconds, we get closer to the bakery, until we are finally submerged in its warmth. A large glass counter dominates the room, showcasing everything the shop has to offer. In one of the cases, I see the richly decorated cakes, but the decoration seems off somehow, displaying none of its usual perfection. I wonder briefly if that means Peeta hasn't been working. So what has he been doing for the past two months? The movement of the queue distracts me from my inner musing, and I dig out a few coins buried deep in a pocket of my father's jacket. The small circular piece of dirty metal digs sharply into my palm and I take a deep breath, closing my eyes. Prim's hand tugging me forward snaps my eyes open and I look down at my shoes again, utterly embarrassed. Mrs Mellark looks up with her greedy eyes, ready to pounce on the next costumer but when she sees it's me; her blue eyes dim into a full blown glare.

"What are you doing here?" She snaps, her eyes swiveling anxiously to ensure that no-one overheard. Protectively, I pull Prim closer to me. She looks up at me with wide eyes, clearly wondering what I'll do next. I smile a sickly sweet smile at Mrs Mellark, tilting my head as I do so. I release the coins from my hand so that they clatter to the counter, spinning wildly until they settle, President Snow's snake-like face glaring up at her.

"What do you mean, what are we doing here?" I ask, leaning closer to her. "We're paying customers, as you can clearly see, so why don't you do what you're supposed to do and take our order?" Her eyes snap up to mine, harsh and unforgiving.

"Fine." She hisses maliciously, her eyes wild with malice, the deep lines on her forehead carving deeper than the mines. Her thin eyebrows knit together, her mouth pursing like she's tasted something sour. "There are some deliveries to pick up anyway." She stalks off into the back, muttering angrily under her breath. I smirk. That'll put the witch in her place. Then one of Peeta's brothers emerges from the doorway, cheerfully wiping flour onto his trousers. I sigh a little. Of course it's Rye. Famous for his cheery demeanor, and his ability to flirt with everything female that has a pulse, this is Peeta's oldest brother.

"Mornin' Everdeen!" He grins, his teeth flashing in the early morning light. "My, my don't you look beautiful today. Very natural…I like it." I roll my eyes. What is he doing, flirting with his youngest brother's…I stop myself. Why should I think like that? I don't belong to Peeta, or anyone for that matter.

"Hello Rye." I mutter. "Prim and I would like a loaf of bread please." He looks down and seems shocked when he notices her tiny figure tucked into my side. His cheeky smile falls and he looks serious.

"I-erm-Katniss I didn't mean to, I wouldn't have if I knew…" He trails off awkwardly. I smile, realizing what he was trying to say. "I mean, you're Peeta's girlfriend, I'd never…"

"It's okay." I reply quickly before he can apologize anymore. Peeta's girlfriend? I look down in embarrassment.

"He hasn't said that you know." Rye says seriously, plucking a loaf out from under the counter.

"What?" I ask.

"About you being his girlfriend. He's not telling everyone that you are. I just assumed…" He trails off again. Prim looks like she's about to speak, so I elbow her.

"Hey! What was that for?" She shouts indignantly. I hush her as Rye puts the loaf in a paper bag and spins the ends expertly, neatly fastening them with tape. He taps a few buttons on the till, then the drawer pings out, nearly hitting Rye in the hip. He glares at the till like its real, holding out his hand for the money.

"That'll be two and sixty-five, please." I drop the correct amount into his waiting palm, gathering the paper bag in my hands. I can feel the heat of the bread radiating into my chest. I clutch it tighter, enjoying the feel of something warm against my chilled body. "Thanks love." I stare at him incredulously, raising an eyebrow in disgust. Rye sees my look and smirks, holding up both hands in the air. "What? It's a habit!" He protests.

"Well, maybe it's a habit you ought to try and break." I tell him, smirking right back at him. My good-natured teasing causes a real smile.

"Maybe you're not like they say after all Everdeen." His blue eyes bore into mine, scarily like his younger brother.

"Maybe I'm not." I reply with a smile, herding Prim away from the counter. Judging by the low mutterings behind us, people are getting agitated. "See you later Rye."

"Not if I see you first!" He yells back as we leave the bakery. As we walk down the steps, I can sense Prim staring at me strangely.

"What?" I ask her.

"He fancies you." She tells me seriously. I spin around, almost knocking her over.

"What are you talking about? Rye doesn't fancy me! I mean, I'm his younger brother's…" What? What am I to Peeta? Prim nods with a silly smirk on her face.

"If you say so." She says.

"Yes, I do say so." I reply firmly, putting the loaf in my bag for later and pulling her across the square. We walk down the road that leads into the Seam, following a line of children all walking the familiar route to the only school in the District. We walk behind some of the Merchant shops that surround the square, their gardens vibrant and well-looked after. Gardens are sort of a novelty in District 12. Only Merchants have gardens. In the Seam, houses have a tiny concrete yard, usually filled with lines of endless washing. After walking past the back of the apothecary, florist and jeweler's, we finally arrive at the school gates. This must be one of the happiest places in District 12. Children's laughter can be heard from a mile off. Prim hesitates outside the gates, her eyes scanning the students until she spots Rory with their friends, leaning against the wall. I hug her quickly, not wanting to embarrass her. "Remember, let him come to you and be yourself. Have fun!" I tell her, fixing a smile to her face.

"You're right," She says, fiddling anxiously with the end of one of her plaits. "Will you be back in time for dinner?"

"I'm not sure." I reply, not wanting to get her hopes up. In truth, I've no idea how long I'll be gone.

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you later I guess." I give her one last reassuring smile, watching her walk up to her friends. As the group squeals their joy at her return, I see Rory give her a shy smile. It'll be okay. It's just a natural part of growing up, I tell myself. I find myself looking at the other sixteen and seventeen year olds in my year group. It's strange to think that if I had never been in the Hunger Games, I would just now be heading into my final school year. That's a frightening thought. I'm about to turn away from the school when the sound of my name being called stops me.

"Katniss!" Madge scurries up to me, a lock of her curly hair falling over her eyes. She blows it out of her way impatiently before hugging me tightly for a second. She blushes when she pulls away, both of us not used to openly expressing our friendship in such a manner.

"Madge, it's good to see you!" I tell her warmly. I really mean it. Madge was the one who gave me the Mockingjay pin, the pin that became my symbol. The pin that reminded me of my father. Then I realize, I'd never thanked her for it. She'd left the room before I'd had a chance to.

"It's good to see you too!" She beams. "I knew you'd win!" I smile at her.

"I just wanted to say thank you so much for the-" Madge shakes her head, sending her blonde curls flying everywhere.

"There's no need to thank me Katniss, truly. I'm just glad I could help." She smiles. She has such a selfless and generous nature, it amazes me how anyone could think she is stuck up. The blue ribbon in her hair twirls gently in the breeze as she grins at me. "I don't see you around much anymore." She says.

"I know, I've been busy filming and stuff." I reply. "I'm sorry; I should have come to see you when I got back."

"It's alright, don't worry about me! I know you have stuff on your mind. Still, you should come over to my house sometime; it'd be great to catch up." I stare at her in shock. Go, to the Mayor's house? Wow…I wonder what it's like. I nod my head, trying to look enthusiastic.

"Sure, I'd love to." I tell her. She smiles. The school bell rings shrilly, cutting our conversation short.

"Fantastic. Well, I'd better go, don't want to be late. But I'll let you know when's a good time to come over." I nod in reply then she scurries off to get inside. I'm left standing alone outside the gates, the wind whistling through my hair. I turn and run away from the school, anxious to get on the other side of the fence. I'd planned to be half an hour into my journey by now. I hurry through the narrow streets of the Seam, pushing through groups of chatting housewives. To them, I probably look like a random teenager, bunking off school. I rush past the houses until I reach the Meadow, the scruffy field that we call beautiful in District 12. By most people's standards, it probably is true beauty. The grass is as high as my waist, scabby trees dotted around. I look over my shoulder to see if anyone's watching. In all honesty, no-one really cares, but you never know. You can never be too careful. I pause to listen for the hum that means the electricity is one, but right now then fence is as silent as a night owl stalking their prey. I lie on my stomach and squeeze my body under the small gap. I reach through and pull my bag through, picking it up and hooking it over my shoulder. Silently, I walk a few meters in, stopping by a hollow log to retrieve my secret stash of weaponry. I pull the quiver over my other shoulder, clutching the bow in my right hand. I check once more that no-one is watching, then disappear into the serenity of the woods…

**Author's Note: I know, I know. I haven't written anything in ages! I could make up a million excuses, but the truth is that I really haven't had any inspiration. However, I'm back now, so please don't hate me for my absence! I just want to say thank you to Abi623 for pre-reading and encouraging me. I also want to say a massive thank you to TheRealPrimroseEverdeen for so much support and encouraging PM's. You go girl! I honestly can't thank these two ladies enough. They put up with all my craziness, and for that I'm truly grateful. Just wanna remind y'all that I am a beta, so if you want your stories pre-reading or any advice, don't hesitate to PM me!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	32. Epiphany

**Author's Note: Hey everyone, how are you all doing? I've been feeling creative once again, which is such a relief after weeks of nothing. But at least I'm back now, and ready to write again. Writing is such an outlet for my feelings, you could probably read any chapter and know how I'm feeling. My family and friends tell me I'm an open book, because I'm a terrible liar! Oh well, at least I'm honest. As usual, thanks so much to the amazingly awesome Abi623 for pre-reading this, and TheRealPrimroseEverdeen for the support. Thanks Little Duck! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Hunger Games (I wish). It belongs to the incredible Suzanne Collins. **

_I check once more that no-one is watching, then disappear into the serenity of the woods…_

Chapter 32

Wandering silently through the tranquil woods, I feel at peace. Here in the woods it's just me, my bow and nature. The cool wind whistles through the trees, rustling the vibrantly coloured leaves. Some fall gracefully, others racing to reach the ground. I take a deep breath in, inhaling the scent of fresh air. A few meters away, a tiny bird perches on a branch, singing joyously. I can't help but smile. The woods are my home, where I feel content. I pick up the pace a little, wanting to get to the lake as soon as possible. Years ago, I notched marks into the trees with an arrow to guide my way. The trek to the lake is a long one, and if you don't know what you are doing, it's very easy to get lost or take the wrong turn. I hum softly, my voice filling the peaceful silence.

A slight movement out of the corner of my eye causes me to stop. The squirrel scurries innocently along the ground, sending leaves flying around it as it darts around the forest floor. Silently, I reach behind me, grasping the thin stick of wood in my hand. I bring my arm forward, gently pulling the arrow out of its quiver, notching it quickly onto my faithful bow. I lean forward, pulling the bow taut, focusing on the target. I take a deep breath in, ready for the kill, then exhale as I let out the tension of the bow. The arrow flies swiftly through the air, and the squirrel squeaks in panic as the arrow finds its target. I wait a few seconds, ensuring that the animal is dead, then walking over and pulling the arrow out of its eye. Lowering my bow, I put the arrow back in its quiver, picking up the dead squirrel and cradling it for a second. Its still warm body is tiny in my arms, and I let one fingertip run down the soft fur on its belly. A wave of regret washes over me. I don't take any pleasure from killing animals, but I know it's necessary. It's life. People have to survive and the only way to do that is to eat. Sighing, I fix the squirrel to my belt by its tail and set off on the trail once more. I glance at the sun to estimate the time, guessing that it's late afternoon. Twigs crunch under my weight, since I'm not actively hunting; I see no reason to walk silently. My game bag bounces off my hip as I walk. Eventually, there's a break in the never-ending line of trees as the lake comes into view. Serene, calm, peaceful, the water laps softly at the bank, back and forth, back and forth. I stand and watch it, feeling my heartbeat slow to a gentle thud against my chest. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in, filling my lungs with the pure scent of nature around me. A feeling of contentment washes over me. Memories fill my mind, when my father first brought me here, when he showed me the plant I'm named after, when he took me inside the cabin and lit a fire. I'm surprised when a single tear creeps out from the confines of my eye and splashes to the ground. I sink to the grass, my fingers digging into the ground, trying desperately to cling on to reality. My father's presence surrounds me as I bow my head, my voice choked and broken.

"Father!" My voice echoes eerily across the silent lake. I sit back on my knees, burying my face in my hands, smearing mud across my cheek as I do so. Why isn't he here? Why did he leave me? Where has he gone? I lift my head and glare up at the sky, willing it to show me answers. I'm so lost, so alone. It's too much. Thunder rumbles in the distance, clouds of charcoal rolling menacingly across the sky. I sigh heavily. What is the point in asking for my father's help? He's gone, and he's never coming back. Above me, the thunder booms loudly as rain begins to fall in a torrent, almost like my father is above me, crying.

Gradually, I lift myself off the ground. My clothes feel heavy and stick to my body. As I stand, I realize my teeth are chattering from the cold. Shivering, I glance at the lake. The peaceful calm of earlier has been chased away by the storm, now it's a violent sea of grey, the rain making the water tremble in fear. I rush over to the rundown cabin, the door swinging on its rusty hinges. I slip inside, unceremoniously dumping my bag on the floor. Inside the tiny cabin, the rain seems louder than the drums at the Opening Ceremony, as it pounds relentlessly onto the tin roof above me. I shiver once more, looking dejectedly at the empty fireplace. Half-heartedly, I take a few logs from the basket next to the fire, piling them into the fireplace. I grab a box of matches, taking one out and striking it quickly. The match fizzles for a second, the scent of the wax fills my nose, and a flame leaps out from where the match is grasped between my fingers. I hold the match to the wood and kindling, breathing out a sigh of relief as the flames catch hold of the logs. A steady crackle resonates from the fire, filling the room with a warm comforting glow. I drag a blanket from the corner wrapping myself tightly in it. It's thick and scratchy against my skin but it warms my frozen body. I stare into the fire silently. I'm reminded of a few nights ago, when Peeta and I were sat in front of the fire in his living room. Peeta. His image fills my mind, and even though I try to push it away, it stubbornly stays at the forefront of my mind. What does he mean to me? I think back to when his name was called out at the Reaping. My only thought was, _not him._ Is it possible that I could have cared about him long before I even knew him? I remember that day in the pouring rain, the desperate girl, starved of hunger and hope. I remember the generous and caring boy, the hearty life-saving bread. I remember the dark and damp cave, when every single second, my mind was a panicked mess, constantly terrified that Peeta would die. I remember when we kissed, that passionate kiss that sparked a fire in me, making my toes curl and my body tingle. I remember the pain when I told him _it's not real_, how guilty I felt.

Could it be possible that I felt guilty because it was real, and I told him it wasn't?

I closed my eyes, remembering the night he got drunk. I remembered every time I'd shut him down, refused to acknowledge his friendship, his comfort, his….love. My eyes snap open and I throw off the blanket, pacing anxiously in front of the fire. Surely it's not true; surely I'm lying to myself. I couldn't possibly care about Peeta Mellark. It's too dangerous. I swore I'd never care for anyone. It leads to marriage, children…the Games.

"No!" I shout in horror, quaking in fear at the thought of my innocent child being brutally murdered. I can't do that to my children. I won't! I can't care for anyone! I know I'd be a terrible mother, what child would be proud to call me their mother? Someone permanently broken, with terrifying nightmares every night. I can't be dependent on anyone. I've killed people, done terrible things in the past; surely I don't deserve that happiness. I hurt everyone I care about. Prim, Peeta, my mother. All the time, just by being around them, I hurt them. It's in every move I make. It's unintentional, I don't mean to hurt people but it keeps happening. I wish I'd died in the Games. It would have been so much easier on everyone. Peeta could have come home, found someone else, someone worthy and deserving of him. But the thought of him with someone else sends sharp stabbing pains through my heart. I'm so selfish. I won't admit that I care, but I won't let him move on. I force myself to sit down again, telling myself to calm down, to think things through. There's no point wishing I was dead, because I'm alive. Hating myself won't help anyone. I need to keep a clear head and think. The rain continues to pour down upon the cabin. I wonder how the rain still continues. Surely, nature has played every card by now. I wrap the musty smelling blanket around my body. I decide to stop thinking. Perhaps it's time to think about what I want, not what I need to survive, but what I want. I take a deep breath, staring at the roaring flames as I let my heart overrule my mind. I'm terrified, after all my instinct for survival is the thing that's kept me alive all these years. I feel the rusty lock on my heart slowly slide open. My emotions pour out, spilling onto the floor. The crackling of the fire grows louder, the flames dancing higher in patterns of vibrant orange. Suddenly, I know what I need.

Peeta. How could I not see it before? It's impossible, but it's true. My heart sings his name as I finally admit everything that I refused to see before.

I have feelings for Peeta Mellark.

The discovery shocks me, taking my breath away as I drown in the flood of emotions around me. I lay down in front of the fire, staring at the flames. They seem softer now, more comforting. The heavy downpour fades to a rhythmic tapping in the background. I sigh softly. I can't believe that this has happened to me. Everything I swore would never happen, has. Prim was reaped. Rue died. I care about Peeta. I should get up and move, I should go home to reassure my family, but I don't move. I suppose I did warn my mother that I could be out all night. I don't know why she's worrying so much, it's not like I haven't done it before. I close my eyes, hoping sleep will come. I'm exhausted from the long trek and my revelation. The fire creates strange glowing patterns behind my closed eyes and I curl up in the blanket, bringing my knees to my chest and resting my head one of my arms. I sigh, letting sleep take over me….

_I sit on the steps in front of my house, watching the silent Victor's Village. An occasional breeze makes the plants waver for a second, and then everything is unmoving once more. I rest my chin in my hands. A door opens next door, and Peeta comes out, dressed in a suit. He looks so handsome, I think to myself. He doesn't notice me sat on the steps, hurrying right past my house. I jump up and jog over to him, eager to talk to him. When he sees me running after him, he stops and turns to face me, agitatedly running his fingers through his hair. _

"_What do you want Katniss?" He sighs. "Haven't you done enough?" I take a step back in confusion. _

"_What are you talking about?" I reply. Peeta shakes his head, rolling his eyes. _

"_Fine. If you want to pretend like nothing ever happened, go ahead. I don't know if you realized, but I've got a wedding to go to." He starts to walk away from me. I stand there in shock for a second, then race to catch up with him. I stop him at the gates of Victor's Village. _

"_A wedding?" I blurt out. _

"_Yes Katniss. A wedding. My wedding." Peeta replies. "And I'm going to be late if you keep stopping me!" He glances at his gleaming watch anxiously. _

"_Your wedding?" I gasp. "But…I don't…Who?" I babble. Peeta's getting married? My mind struggles to process this information. Why is Peeta getting married? I thought…I thought he loved me! Peeta stares at me like I'm crazy. _

"_Surely you knew I was getting married today Katniss? It's all over the District." _

"_If I knew, do you think I'd be asking?" I snap. Peeta sighs. _

"_No I suppose not. Guess I just hoped you'd be spending today in the woods, out of the way." I take a step back. Peeta doesn't want me around? I don't understand. Peeta sees my expression and glares at me, his eyebrows knitted together in frustration. "C'mon Katniss, now's not the time to pretend that you don't know what you did." _

"_What do you mean, what I did?" I ask. "I don't know what I did, please tell me!" I beg. Peeta runs his hand through his hair again. _

"_Katniss, you told me you didn't want me. You said it was because you couldn't afford to let yourself fall in love. Basically, you kicked me to the curb and didn't even ask me what I wanted. All I wanted was you; I didn't need marriage or children to be happy. But you didn't care, and you wouldn't even listen when I protested. You threw me out of the house, slammed the door and this is the first time I've spoken to you in three years." _

"_Three years!" I gasp in horror. Peeta continues grimly._

"_It took me two years to get over you! Do you know how many nights I spent sat at my table, wondering what I'd done wrong? It took me a long time to get to where I am now, in a happy place. It's ironic isn't it, that you've ignored me for three years, and on my wedding day you have to show up and stake your claim? Well I'm done, Katniss. I'm sick of playing your pathetic games." He strides off towards town. Tears well up in my eyes. I've only just recognized my feelings for him and now I've lost him forever! I run after him, shouting his name. He doesn't turn, and Victor's Village falls away, like a chalk drawing on the pavement when it rains. Suddenly I'm in a huge crowd. I recognize the familiar surroundings of the square. I roughly push people out of my way until I'm standing in the aisle between the two crowds. Peeta stands at one end, looking right at me, a beaming smile on his face. I start to walk towards him, when I realize he isn't smiling at me. I whip my body around, only to see Delly Cartwright rearranging her white dress, clinging onto her father's arm. Her blonde hair is pinned up neatly, her cheeks hold a slight hint of a blush. Of course Delly could be counted on to be the blushing bride. I'm taken away by how stunning she looks. When I picture Delly Cartwright, I picture her as the pale lumpy girl with hair the colour of sunshine and a gentle personality. She grins back at Peeta, ignoring my presence. She walks right through me, kissing her father on the cheek then reaching for Peeta and grasping his hands tightly. My chest burns in agony as I sink to the floor. Something out of the corner of my eye makes me turn my head. President Snow stands there, dressed in white, one of his sickly roses peeking out of his lapel. He holds a champagne flute in his hand, raising it in celebration. _

"_I think we should toast to Panem's newest couple, Peeta and Delly Mellark!" The crowd cheer in agreement, as my heart shatters into a thousand pieces. What did I do? Tears seep down my cheeks, as I stare in agony at President Snow. He sees me watching him and he lifts his glass to me, smirking evilly. I look back over at the happy couple and wish I hadn't. Peeta and Delly are in a passionate embrace, oblivious to everyone around them. As I watch them kiss, I feel a rusty blade stab my already broken heart, twisting the knife round and round until it forms a gaping hole…_

"No!" I gasp, wrenching myself upright, my heart pounding wildly in my chest. I bury my face in my hands, trying to pull myself together. They dying embers are still glowing a little as I force myself to stand up. I look out the window and see the silhouette of the sun behind the trees as it rises. I dig out the box of treats my mother gave me to take my mind off my nightmare, but seeing the pastries made by Peeta brings it back to the forefront of my mind. I shake my head to clear my thoughts. _It's not real, _I attempt to remind myself. But I can't help but think, what if it is true? I can't lose Peeta so soon after I realized my feelings. Anxiously, I pack my game bag, making sure that the cabin is left neat and tidy. I all but race out of the door, running towards the trees without even a glance at the lake. Was it a mistake to come here? But as I flee back towards District 12, I can't bring myself to regret the decision. It made me realize my feelings, surely that can't be a bad thing?

Two hours later, I can see the Meadow. A sigh of relief courses through me. Never have I been so glad to see District 12. I duck straight under the fence, hardly pausing to check if the fence is alive. I rush through the Meadow, the long stalks brushing roughly across my skin as I trample a path through the grass. I run through the Seam, people turning to stare at me in astonishment and curiosity. I weave through them, desperate to get back to Victor's Village. As I enter the square, I desperately glance around, my body sighing with relief when I see only people shopping. No wedding. No President Snow. I dart straight across the square, my feet pounding against the stone floor. The noise ricochets off the stones, echoing around the building, ringing in my ear. I try to ignore it and press on. Finally, I reach the edge of the square, choking down a sob as I race past the bakery, the scent of freshly baked bread seeping through the air and consuming me. I dash up the stupidly long road that leads to Victor's Village. I pass the Mayor's house, the Peacekeeper Headquarters, Cray's foul smelling den. Eventually, I burst through the gates of Victor's Village, the early morning sunshine warm on my back. I sprint to Peeta's house, up the stone steps and bring my fist down loudly on his door.

"Peeta!" I yell in panic. "Peeta, open the door please!" I beg, tears streaming down my face. I hear his heavy footsteps come down the stairs, a few thuds, and the sound of a lock slowly turning. Every second I wait is pure agony. Finally the door opens, and Peeta stands there, rubbing his eyes.

"Katniss what-" He doesn't have time to finish his sentence, because my arms are flung tightly around his neck, my body crushed against his. He stands straight with shock, then relaxes into my embrace, hugging me back. When he moves to step away, I hold him tightly, refusing to let him go. Now I'm aware of my feelings, his embrace feels even better than before, fulfilling, comforting, wonderful. I inhale his scent, trying to calm my pounding heart and gasped breaths. I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding. I feel Peeta pull me forward into his house, breaking our embrace then shutting the door. "What's wrong?" He asks.

"Are you here alone?" I ask desperately. Peeta stares at me like I'm insane.

"Of course I'm alone, Katniss you know that. I'm the only person that lives here."

"I didn't mean your family." I mutter under my breath. As I get a grip on my tentative sanity, I realize that I'm being an idiot. My nightmare was just that, a nightmare.

"Katniss, what's the matter?" Peeta asks again.

"I, I erm…" I stammer, struggling to find words. What am I doing? Peeta's staring at me in concern, one hand outstretched as if he wants to touch me, but then he lets it fall back to his side. "I'm sorry." I say stupidly. Peeta frowns a little.

"It's alright," He replies slowly. "Now tell me, what's really the matter?" I blush as I realize that I cannot tell him. It makes me sound jealous and possessive, not to mention crazy. I start to back away from him towards the door, then bolt out before I do something stupid like tell him the real reason I'm upset. He doesn't follow me as I let myself into my house, turning and slamming the door. As I step into the hall, the pile of letters blocking my way makes me realize that I'm not actually in my house. I turn to leave, mortified that I went into the wrong house, when a cough makes me turn around. Haymitch stands there, a bottle in his right hand and a knife in his left. He lowers the bottle, the dirty knife clattering to the floor when he recognizes me.

"Hello Sweetheart."

**Author's Note: It's finally finished! I know I left it on a cliffhanger, and I swear it wasn't supposed to finish like that, but as usual, I got carried away. At least all the Haymitch fans will be happy! Do you think he will help Katniss, or will he stir up the shit-pot, as we all know he loves doing! Leave me a review and let me know. I love all your reviews; they make me so happy and mean the world to me. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	33. Purgatory

**Author's Note: Hey everyone! How are you all? I hope you're all doing okay, and I'm sorry for taking ages to update. While I'm here, I want to thank the guest (aka doppelgänger) for reviewing my story! I have to say, I was so touched by your review (and everyone who reviewed the last chapter actually). I really would like to contact you so I can thank you properly, but there is no way of doing so under an anonymous review. Please, get a fanfiction account so I can PM you! As usual, thanks so much to the awesome Abi623 for pre-reading and TheRealPrimroseEverdeen, you guys are amazing and I honestly don't know what I'd do without you both!**

**Disclaimer: Honestly, I own nothing from The Hunger Games franchise. It belongs to the fantastic Suzanne Collins. **

"_Hello Sweetheart."_

Chapter 33

I regard Haymitch coolly, noting his haggard appearance. I still haven't forgiven him for his comments on Sunday night.

"Hello Haymitch." Casually, he leans against a grubby wall covered in stains, bending to pick up the knife. He groans as he does so, clutching his head like he's about to pass out. I feel a sudden wave of sympathy for him. I take him by the shoulders and guide him into the nearest chair. I sigh a little. Why does he have to get so drunk that he can barely remember his own name? Then I remember what little he has revealed about his past and I realize, he does it to forget. For a moment, I seriously consider becoming an alcoholic, but one look at Haymitch makes me realize that perhaps it isn't the best route to take. Haymitch removes his hand from his head, slowly slumping back into the broken arm chair, picking up a bottle of white liquor from the table next to it. I rush over and take it away from him before he can take a sip. "Perhaps that's not the best idea." I tell him gently.

"How do you know?" He growls. "That damn liquor's my best friend." I roll my eyes.

"Would a best friend make you throw up everywhere? Would a best friend give you constant headaches? I don't think so." He glares at me for a second then gives up.

"Fine." He replies. "Nice of ya to visit Sweetheart, don't see ya round much anymore."

"Yeah well, I've been busy." I tell him, looking for a half-decent place to sit, but finding nothing that's not covered in some disgusting looking stain, so I decide to stand instead.

"With Hawthorne?" Haymitch asks, smirking.

"No I have not!" I reply indignantly, shaking my head at his inappropriate comment.

"With the boy?" Haymitch tries again.

"No!" I protest. Haymitch looks at me, his usually murky grey eyes becoming clearer as he stares at me. I try to ignore the red in my cheeks and look at the floor, my heart beating faster and faster. Does he know? Does he see through me?

"Hmmm…" Haymitch muses, turning his gaze away from me to stare at the blank TV screen on the wall. "Why did ya come then Sweetheart? The only time you visit me is when you want something, and you ain't exactly the type to call for a cup o' tea and a biscuit." I raise an eyebrow at him.

"Do you even have biscuits?" He surprises me by letting out a throaty chuckle.

"You always surprise me Katniss. Who knew, the hunter girl with a stick up her ass actually has a sense of humor?" I roll my eyes.

"I have my moments." I say dryly. "If you must know, I came here by mistake. I ended up in the wrong house." Haymitch grins suddenly.

"And what could ya have been thinking about that distracted you _so_ much that you went into the wrong house?"

"I don't know!" I snap. "I've got a lot on my mind at the moment!" Haymitch shoves his hand down the sides of the chair, bringing out a bottle. He holds it out towards me, the clear liquid sloshing violently inside the glass.

"Want a best friend?" I take the bottle from him then chuck it in the bin. The bottle clinks and smashes as it falls. There's a deathly silence for a second then Haymitch jumps up growling, rushing to the bin to see if the bottle can be salvaged. "What did you do that for?" He roars. I put my hands on my hips and stare him down.

"You don't need it, not at-", I glance at the smashed clock on the wall behind me. "At half past nine in the morning."

"Since when did you turn into a fucking saint, Katniss?" He growls.

"I didn't." I reply. "I'm just looking out for you. You're hungover, more alcohol won't help." Haymitch starts scrounging around the room, searching through random cupboards and pulling up floorboards. When he finds nothing, he turns to me, pointing at me with a shaking hand.

"You did this!" He yells, trembling with rage. "You got rid of it all!"

"I didn't!" I protest loudly. "I swear, I never touched any of it!" He starts to stalk towards me, and I suddenly remember that even though he's a drunk, he's still a Victor of the Hunger Games. I attempt to smother my growing anger. "I didn't touch any of it." I promise him, trying to keep my voice even. When he gets within touching distance, I place a hand on his chest, pushing him backwards towards the chair. He falls into the chair, his body still shaking. "I'll buy you some more later." I repeat. He looks up at me, then buries his face in his hands.

"I need it." He murmurs shakily. "I can't survive a day without it." I gaze at him. Yes, he's annoying and rude, his house is a complete mess and his appearance is only decent for the cameras, but he's still my mentor. He's still the man that kept Peeta and I alive in the arena.

"I promise I'll buy you more." I repeat. I stand up to leave, but a hand on my arm stops me.

"I guess ya figured things out then." He says. I frown at him in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" I reply. Haymitch rolls his eyebrows, his lip curling into a slight smirk.

"I saw the boy yesterday…" I shrug, trying to lower my racing heart. "He was climbing out of a window, wearing the same clothes from the festival. Don't think I didn't see, Sweetheart. I see everything." I stare at him in shock.

"Well, I erm…" Haymitch laughs.

"I'm just teasing ya Sweetheart. I think its good you've got him, you need someone like him. I used to have someone like that, and I wish every fucking day that I'd never let her out of my sight." He frowns, looking through me, into the past. "Don't mess this up Katniss, I mean it." I nod slightly, pulling away from his grasp and wading my way through the mess into the hallway. Forcing the door open, I take a deep breath of the cleansing air. Who knew fresh air could smell so good? I go down the cracked stone steps and walk back in the direction of the entrance to Victor's Village. I nearly run past Peeta's house, terrified that he might come out and talk to me. Quickly hurrying past, I remember to go towards the right house and once I'm inside, breathe out a huge sigh of relief. As I kick off my boots, my mother stands in the doorway dressed in the same clothes from yesterday, her hair tangled and falling into her eyes. Did she stay up all night waiting for me?

"Katniss," She breathes, holding out her arms. I walk into her comforting embrace, closing my eyes as I hug her tightly. Then she releases me, slowly moving into the kitchen. She pours water into the kettle, setting it on the stove to boil. I place my game bag on the table, taking out the squirrel I shot yesterday. The kettle sings impatiently, startling me from my thoughts. I stare down at the grains of wood in the table, tracing one with my smallest finger. It feels rough against my skin. A steaming mug is placed in front of me, and I reach forward and grasp it in my chilled hands. My mother sits opposite me, noting the squirrel beside me. "How was the lake?" She asks conversationally.

"It was good." I reply, trying not to think about everything that transpired. I stare at my hands, trying to avoid my mother's piercing gaze. Quickly, I drink my tea, wincing as it burns my mouth. I slam the mug down on the table, jumping up from my seat. "I, I'm going to my room." I stutter, escaping into the safety of the hallway. I race up the stairs and into my room, shutting the door and slumping down against it. Burying my face in my hands, I sigh heavily. What is happening to me? Ever since I admitted my feelings, I've been an emotional mess. I stand up and pace the length of my room, my mind spinning with unwanted thoughts. I spin round, looking for something, anything to do. I need to take my mind off things. I wander over to the TV and turn it on. For an hour I sit there, staring blankly at the screen. Some random Capitolites have been debating the hottest trend in the Capitol. It's so mindless and stupid. Surely, there are bigger problems going on than wondering whether you should be wearing stripes or spots? Still, at least watching the TV has done what I wanted it to. The show has drained all thoughts from my mind, and all I can focus on is the pointless program on the screen. The fashion program ends and a gossip show comes on. The presenter, wearing a bright green wig, announces excitedly,

"The Victor of the 65th Hunger Games, THE Finnick Odair is back in the Capitol!" She screeches, and all her other co-presenters squeal delightedly.

"Oh don't you love spending time with your favorite Victor!" Another gushes, jumping up and down in her heels, her hands clapping together in delight.

"Well," The original presenter adds. "We've got a treat for all you Capitolites; we've managed to secure an interview with the exclusive Victor, Finnick Odair! Give him a big round of applause!" She tells the audience. I lean forward. I've never seen an interview with another Victor unless it's for the Hunger Games, and it's only September. As he steps onto the screen, the audience goes wild, screaming so loud that it almost deafens me. His unruly bronze hair is slicked back, and his vibrant green eyes seem to bewitch the audience, his charm making them fall under his spell one by one. After a few minutes, the audience goes silent, staring at him in awe. He is wearing a smart shirt that fits his body, obviously designed to show off his athletic shape. He grins at the presenters, flashing them a pearly white smile that makes all the women in the audience swoon. It takes them a few minutes to recover, and when one bravely ventures over to him, he captures her wrist and kisses it. You can see her eyes roll back into her head as she struggles to regain her self. I shake my head incredulously. Pathetic. I would never act like that in front of a man. Then I remember when I kissed Peeta in my kitchen and when his hands were on my legs, I had a similar reaction. I bite my lip anxiously. This is exactly the thing I was trying to avoid thinking about! I shake my head and refocus my attention on the screen.

"I'm _very_ happy to be here." Finnick smirks, his eyes gazing at the presenter intensely. "Thank you for inviting me." As their conversation carries on, I get more and more uncomfortable. Finnick is blatantly flirting now; his every word seems to hold some other meaning. However, apart from the uncomfortable sensation, he is nothing but polite and kind. He has exceptional manners that Effie would adore, but he often cracks jokes, making the audience feel more at ease. I can't help but feel if not for his outrageous suggestions; he seems like the type of person I could easily be around.

"So do you have any plans for your stay in the Capitol?" The reporter asks, trying to be professional but failing.

"Well, I'm planning to see the spectacular bends and curves of the Capitol." He replies, smirking, sending the reporter a tiny wink. "But I came here mainly to spend time with my favorite people. District 4 is incredibly boring; it holds no interest to me. In fact, I'm considering making a permanent stay in the Capitol." The audience begins to scream wildly, overcome with joy.

"You heard it here, on Capitol Network, that Finnick Odair is considering a move to the Capitol! Wouldn't that be amazing?" The presenter beams, her green wig knocked sideways. The camera flashes to Finnick, who's beaming and waving to the audience. I shake my head. I take back what I thought earlier. He's obviously crazy. Who would willingly leave their District to live in the Capitol? Irritated, I turn off the TV. I wander over to my window, sitting on the window sill and opening it as far as it will go. I gaze out at the distant buildings of the square, the woods surrounding the district protectively. I close my eyes and take deep breaths. I'm such a mess. A noise outside startles me, making me look anxiously out of the window. Peeta steps out of his house, a box in his arms, walking towards town. I raise a shaking hand, laying my sweaty palm on the glass. I fight to regain control, my breath hitching in my throat. He's so handsome, so kind, so generous, and I'm a mess. I really don't deserve him. But I want to deserve him. I want him to hold me in his arms. I want him to do some ridiculous romantic gesture that makes me smile. I want _him_. I turn away from the window, unable to look at him anymore. I look wildly around my room, feeling trapped. I can't stay in this prison of a house. I can't go to the woods, where my nightmare will surely haunt me the second I pass through the fence. I'm trapped, with nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide. I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, looking over. Do I stay and fight? Or do I fall?

**Author's Note: While I'm here, I just wanted to say that this fanfic hit 50,000 views this month. I was so happy and grateful to you all. I know that I say it all the time, but I can never thank you all enough. I truly believe that joining fanfiction was one of the best things I've ever done. It doesn't matter how many milestones that I hit, no matter how small, I'm truly grateful to you all. Every comment, every view, every favorite, it means more to me than you'll ever know. I want to say thanks once more to TheRealPrimroseEverdeen, my fanfiction bestie. Honestly, I really don't know what I would do without her. Thanks Sis! **

**I'll see you all soon with another update, let's hope I'm inspired soon!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	34. Together

**Author's Note: Hiya! Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter; it seems most people were pretty happy about Finnick finally making an appearance. And I just want to say, Katniss doesn't see through Finnick's act, she's just like everyone else. She doesn't see who he really is because Finnick has been putting on that act for 9 years, I think he can make it pretty convincing! But don't worry; the true Finnick we all know and love will be making another appearance! I also wanted to say sorry, because lots of people have been commenting how this fanfic has been a slow burn. I honestly didn't think it would work out like this, but it just kinda happened. But I can definitely promise you this. They will be together really soon. Perhaps sooner than you think ;-) Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own anything at all from Hunger Games. It belongs to the fantastically brilliant Suzanne Collins.**

_Or do I fall?_

Chapter 34

"NO!" I screech, wrenching myself out of bed, my fingers fisting into my damp hair and clinging on tightly. Two people stand over me, desperately trying to grasp my flailing limbs. "No! Please, stop!" I beg the faceless figures of my nightmare. I know who they were…they were the fallen tributes. I can hear their voices ringing in my ears, pleading with me to save them, blaming me for their brutal ends.

"Katniss, you're safe!" One tries to sooth me, but I barely hear them. I'm too far gone to pay attention.

"Kat!" The other grasps my face, forcing me to look at them. I struggle to focus on them, my vision spinning violently.

"They…I…" My words sound distorted, and I struggle to get them out. The voices get louder and louder, and I clasp my hands over my ears. But they become louder by the second, until they're roaring, screaming at me. Someone yells my name, but I don't recognize the voice. A sharp pain stabs me in the arm. My vision swims and all I can see is black, the roaring in my ears reduced to nothing…

Groggily, I open my eyes. I'm lying in a dark room, my head propped up on a mountain of pillows.

"Katniss?" A gentle voice whispers. I open my eyes more fully, and realize I'm still in my bedroom. I turn my head slightly to look at him. Peeta stares at me with large frightened eyes. His hand, which is clasped tightly in my own, squeezes my fingers affectionately. I smile a little. Even though he's somewhat blurry, I can still make out his features. I lift my other hand, and shakily push back the lock of blonde hair that has fallen into his eyes. He smiles sadly, catching my hand as it falls and kissing the back of it. I'm transported back to our time in the cave, and I cannot help but smile.

"Hi." I whisper in reply. He leans in closer, looking me right in the eye.

"Please, don't ever frighten me like that again." I try to sit up, my arms giving out when I try to support myself. I flop back down onto the soft pillows, exhausted with effort.

"What happened?" I ask. Peeta swallows anxiously, clasping my sweaty palm even tighter.

"I think you had a nightmare. Your mother and Prim found you in the middle of the room, curled into a ball. They tried to wake you, but they couldn't. You were screaming…I could hear it in my house. I rushed over, hoping I could help. By the time I got there, your mother had a needle, ready to sedate you. I yelled your name…I was too late. You collapsed into my arms, and I put you back to bed. I told your mother and Prim to sleep, that I would look after you. I haven't left since." I listen in stunned silence. My eyes well with tears, my hand shakily reaching for Peeta, wanting his comfort, his protection, his love. He sits next to me on the bed, pulling me in for a hug. I bury my face into his chest, letting the tears spill where no-one can see me cry.

"Peeta…" I breathe, feeling him hold me tighter. In spite of everything that's happened, the calming feeling that comes over me when I'm in his arms is intoxicating. He rests his head on mine, his lips buried in my hair. We stay like this for an insurmountable amount of time, until eventually he untangles himself from our complicated embrace. "What time is it?" I ask quietly. Peeta glances around for a clock, then replies.

"It's early afternoon." So I've been out for hours. I hate nightmares. They make me feel so weak, so powerless. Pleased that my vision has returned, I swing my legs out of bed. What's the point in lying around? It's not as if I'm ill. Peeta rushes around the bed to help me up; my fingers dig into his arm as I try to steady my balance. "Are you sure you should be standing?" He asks. "Maybe I ought to get your mother."

"No!" I reply forcefully. I lower my tone. "I mean, she'll be sleeping. She doesn't need to wake up because of me. I'm not sick, Peeta. I can handle some bad dreams!" I push away from his grasp and instantly hate myself when I see his wounded expression. Of all people, Peeta should be the one who I should be able to talk to. He's one of the few people that have suffered the Games and survived. He understands. I push my tangled hair out of my eyes, looking at him. "I'm sorry." I murmur.

"Don't be." He replies stiffly. "After all, what do I know about 'bad dreams'?" I sigh, looking down at my hands. He's right. Standing up, I walk over to him, laying an apologetic hand on his arm.

"I'm sorry." I repeat. "You're one of the only people I can talk to about this. You understand. I guess I'm just used to being independent, keeping all my problems to myself." Peeta looks at me, his blue eyes staring into mine.

"Well that's what I'm here for," He replies. "You can talk to me Katniss."

"I know." I tell him, stepping closer to him. "Thank you."

"There's really no need to thank me. That's what friends are for, right?" He grins. I take a step back. Friends. That's all he thinks we are. I'm a complete idiot. He's spent years loving me, and I never gave him a second glance. Then, when I realize my feelings, he's moved on and only thinks of me as a friend. Biting my lip, I take another step backwards. Well, I won't stand in the way of his happiness. I wish I could go back to Sunday, before I'd realized my feelings for Peeta. I wish I could erase them, but I'm not sure that I can. I need to get away from him. His presence hurts too much. It hurts because my mind is betraying me, telling me that I feel happy in his presence. I need these feelings to stop. I need to go back to who I was before, the girl with strong bars of steel around her heart. He broke his way in, and now I'm not sure if those walls can ever be fixed.

Rushing over to my closet, I pull out a random pair of trousers and a top, uncaring whether they match or not. Holding the clothes close to my chest, I make my way to the door. "What are you doing?" Peeta asks, taking a step closer to me.

"What does it look like?" I retort angrily, storming from my room and into the bathroom. I shut the door, wishing I could slam it, but it wouldn't be fair to my mother and Prim. I dress quickly, throwing my sweaty pajamas into the basket near the door. I glance at my reflection in the mirror, sighing when I notice my hair. It looks like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards. When I open the door, his blue eyes stare at me questioningly. Peeta's leaning against the wall, his arms crossed firmly over his chest. Avoiding his gaze, I walk back into my room, grabbing a brush and pulling it through my tangled hair, wincing with pain as I rip through a knot.

"Katniss." Peeta's quiet tone echoes through the silent room. I ignore him, beginning to braid my hair. "Katniss." He repeats. I avoid his gaze, securing my braid then holding my head up high as I march past him. Suddenly, his arm shoots out and grips me around the waist, pulling me to him. My body spins and bumps into his, our hips touching. I hate the strange feeling that flashes through me. I don't know what it is, but I hate it.

"What?" I mutter, looking down at the floor. His hand under my chin tilts my face up, so I have to look at him.

"Why are you ignoring me?" He replies. "Did I do something wrong?" I sigh quietly.

"No. No, you didn't." I tell him. He didn't do anything wrong. I did. It's me who's in the wrong. It always is. Anger flashes in his eyes.

"Don't lie to me!" He stares down at me, his blue eyes boring into mine. I bite my lip. A shiver runs down my spine, my body tingling everywhere. Angrily, I try to shake off the strange and unknown feelings. "Just a minute ago, you were smiling and happy. Now, you're angry. So, what did I do?" I pull out of his grasp, taking a step back and wrapping an arm protectively around myself.

"You did nothing." I repeat. I turn to leave, but red hot anger courses through my veins, spiking my heartbeat, my fists clenching at my sides. If he's just my friend, why does he continue to act like he cares? I wish he'd leave me alone so that I can try and will these feelings out of my heart. It makes me angry that he's still here, looking at me with such a _concerned _gaze. I whirl around to face him, glaring at him. "Why do you even care?" I spit out. "I don't get it. As my _friend_, surely you don't care that much." He frowns at me, and the silence grows until it deafens me.

"You think I don't care?" His voice is quiet, but firm.

"I don't just think it." I reply, staring him down, eyebrows raised, my lip curling up into a snarl. "I know it." Suddenly, he stalks towards me, like a wild cat hunting its prey. Glaring at him, I dare him to take a step forward. He wouldn't…

He would.

Bravely, he takes another step. Rage flares inside of me, igniting my bones. The flames tickle my fingertips, but the fire cannot hurt me now. It spurs me on, fueling my fury. "You take another step, and you'll regret it." I spit out. Suddenly he darts forward, and I dodge out of his way. I have to get out now. I'm trapped in this room. As I run towards the door, he's there. Blocking my way. His hand slams against the wood, the sound reverberating through the silent room. Our heavy breaths echo around the room, my chest rapidly rising and falling. Suddenly, his arm snaps out and grabs my body. He spins me round so that my back is against the door. I stare into his eyes, his pupils diluted so that only a tiny ring of blue surrounds them. The tension between us grows and grows, the pressure so high I can barely breathe.

Then he attacks me.

His hands, pinning mine above my head. His body weight leans against mine, hot and heavy. A tiny whine escapes my throat, waiting for him to do something. His lips descend on mine, locking me into a passionate kiss. Our lips fuse together, pushing against each other. My eyes are tightly closed, absorbing all the sensations that he gives me. The tingling grows, until an inferno flames deep inside my body. I pull my hands away from his, locking them around his neck, fisting into the curls at the nape of his neck and pulling him in closer to me. My chest, crushed against his. His heart, thrumming like a hummingbird, pounds wildly against my own. The sound of our kiss is all I can focus on, the give and take, the push and pull of our lips…It consumes me. His hand grazes down my body, through my hair, down my back. It brushes the curve of my bottom, the fire inside me fanning even hotter. I don't know what's happening, but I want it. I want us to fall into the unknown. How can I want anything else, when the sensations are so pleasurable? His hand locks around my thigh, lifting it, and wrapping it around his waist, bringing our hips closer together. A breathy sound escapes my throat at the feeling. Suddenly, he pulls away, staring at me.

"Now, do you think I don't care?" He asks, his voice husky and deep. I close my eyes once more, resting my weight against the door. I feel boneless, but the fire is still inside, burning. I want the fire gone, but I don't know how to quench it. "And we," he says breathlessly, "Have always been more than just friends." I look up at him, my hands slowly falling away from his neck. My fingers brush against my swollen lip, remembering the feel of his touch. Peeta steps back, taking his weight off me. I want it back, the feeling of his warm body on mine. I feel like I need to say something, but I cannot form words. My mind feels gooey and soft, my cheeks burning scarlet. I stare at him, watching his pupils shrink until his eyes are blue once more.

"I…" My mind is spinning. I cannot focus on anything but him. Staring up at him, I just smile like an idiot. My breaths slow a little, no longer sounding like I've been sprinting for miles. I push myself off the door, moving slowly to the sofa and slumping down onto it, glad to have something to rest my boneless body on. I lay down on the sofa, burying my face into a cushion. I struggle to process what just happened. This kiss, it has ignited feelings in me that I didn't know I had. Even the kiss in the cave, the one that made me want more, cannot compare to this one. I feel the space next to me sink a little as Peeta sits next to me.

"I'm sorry," He murmurs. "I shouldn't have kissed you like that." Quickly, I sit up and look at him. His face is the picture of remorse.

"You…Do you regret it?" I ask, my heart sinking. His eyes snap up to look at mine, blue on grey.

"No!" He bursts out. "Of course I don't! I just, I don't like making you feel uncomfortable."

"Peeta, if I had been uncomfortable, don't you think I would have pulled away?" I retort. I leap off the sofa, pacing across the carpet angrily. "Why do you always do this?" I shout. Peeta stares at me, startled by my outburst.

"Do what?" He asks.

"Regret everything!" I burst out. "Every kiss, every special moment we share, you regret it. I can see it your eyes!" Peeta jumps up, towering over me.

"You think I regret it?"

"I know you do!" I yell, uncaring of who may hear me.

"Of course I don't regret it!" He shouts, his deep voice echoing around me. "I just feel like I'm forcing you to be with me. I want you to kiss me because you want to, not because you're confused and don't want to make a choice!" Anger flares inside me. Suddenly, the box that holds my feelings has been ripped open, and my feelings flow out, uninhibited and wild.

"I want you!" I burst out. Then silence. Peeta looks up at me, anger gone.

"You….you want me?" He asks, seeming unsure. I walk closer to him, gazing up at him.

"Yes." I reply softly. "Do you want me?" He stares at me like I'm crazy.

"Are you kidding me?" He asks. "The girl I've loved for eleven years asks me if I want her? Of course I want you Katniss. You mean everything to me." His blue depths gaze intently into mine, every word ringing with truth and sincerity. Gently, he takes my hands like I'm made of glass and will shatter at any moment. His hand comes up and caresses my face, brushing a lock of hair away from my forehead. I look up at him, closing my eyes then stretching up onto the points of my feet. His lips close on mine, but this kiss is not fire like the last one. It is sweet and unsure, testing the unknown. This kiss makes me melt, a warm sensation growing in my stomach then spreading throughout my body. I don't ever want this kiss to end. Slowly, we break apart, and he rests his forehead on mine. My arms wrap around him, pulling him into a tight hug. He holds me close, then releases me.

"Is this real?" He asks quietly. I laugh a little, placing a hand on his cheek. It curves under my palm as he smiles. Peeta takes my hand, bringing it away from his face. Gently, he holds my hand up, threading his fingers through mine. I smile contentedly. Finally, I feel like I'm home.

**Author's Note: As it turns out, they are now together! YAY! Everlark forever! Trust me; I'm as happy as you guys about this. I was going to wait until the next chapter, but I figured, why the hell not? Plus, I'm so excited to write about them together! Still, the course of true love never does run smooth. What do you think will happen? Let me know in a review! As usual, thanks to Abi623 for pre-reading and all the advice. Also, thanks to TheRealPrimroseEverdeen for all the support and motivation. Please, review, I love getting them and it's always great to hear your feedback!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	35. Heaven And Hell

**Author's Note: Bet you all thought I'd end it there, didn't ya? Well, I'm back and thank you so much for all the reviews of the last chapter! It seems like everyone is pretty happy that Katniss and Peeta are now together (trust me, I am too!) I just want to make a quick statement while I'm here. I've been asked by a reviewer if I will continue this story into Mockingjay. I will say that currently I will not be continuing into Mockingjay. I will go into most of Catching Fire though, so I hope that makes you happy. My plans may change, but right now, it is not on the agenda. I hope you enjoy the chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Hunger Games. None of it belongs to me; it is the property of Suzanne Collins. **

_Finally, I feel like I'm home._

Chapter 35

We stand in silence, taking in the other's appearance. I've known Peeta for years, yet I feel like this is the first time that I'm really looking at him. Blue on grey, grey on blue, the world seems to shrink until it's a tiny bubble surrounding us. I smile. The feeling of contentment that is flowing through me is intoxicating. I haven't felt this…happy in years.

"Do you want to go to town?" I ask suddenly. Peeta blinks and we've landed in the real world, the bubble broken.

"What?" He murmurs questioningly.

"Well, I kind of promised Haymitch that I'd get him more liquor, since I kind of chucked away his last bottle." I explain. Peeta stares at me, then lets out a throaty chuckle.

"And you're still alive? I'm impressed," He laughs. "Let's go to town. I'd rather not have Haymitch murder you, after eleven years of waiting!" I smile. I can't believe I was such an idiot. How could I have ignored him for so many years? It's amazing that he actually waited for me. Before, I thought it was irritating that he was always there; looking out for me, but now it makes me feel loved. We walk out my room and into the hallway. My mother comes out of the bathroom, a damp rag clenched in her hand.

"Katniss!" She exclaims. "You really should have called for me before you got up!"

"Mother, I'm fine," I reassure her quickly. "Honestly, I'm okay." Her ice blue eyes sweep over my body.

"I'm sure you are fine Katniss. I'm certain that you just had a panic attack. It's not anything serious, but they can be frightening. I just wanted to check that I didn't have any other cause for concern." Quickly, I reach towards her and hug her. She stands still for a second, then her arms close around my frame and holds me tightly. I really should hug her more often. When I was in the Games, and our relationship was strained, all I wished was that I could give her a hug. Now I've been granted the privilege, I really should do it more often.

"Don't worry about me, honestly. I really am fine." I whisper into her ear, then release her. Peeta smiles at me reassuringly, but I can see the hint of sadness in his eyes. I know he wishes that he could have a closer relationship with his family. Anger flashes through me as I think of the witch. No matter how much I make up my mind to say something, I never seem to get the opportunity.

"You're my daughter Katniss. I'll always worry about you." Smiling, I take a step back towards Peeta. He wraps a comforting arm around my waist, pulling me into his side. My mother watches the motion, her eyes staring at us curiously. I want to tell her, but right now, it's too new, too sudden, to tell anyone about it. I look up at Peeta, hating the disappointment in his eyes. Still, he smiles at me, his hand squeezing my side a little.

"We're going to head into town. We promised Haymitch a favor."

"We?" She asks, her head tilting a little, a strand of dull blonde hair falling over her eyes.

"Peeta and I." I reply, gesturing between the two of us.

"I see," She says, smiling. "Just make sure you're back in time for dinner." I nod at her, then we head down the stairs and into the hallway. Pulling on my father's jacket, I bend over to tie my bootlaces.

"Why do you always wear that jacket?" Peeta asks questioningly, tying his own shoelaces. I watch him as he does so, noting that he knots the worn laces twice.

"It was my father's." I murmur quietly. "He had it for more than twenty years. He saved up the money from hunting and selling herbs to the apothecary. Then, once he bought it, he went and asked my Mother to go on a date with him. I think he sung her a song that he'd written himself." I feel Peeta's arms wrap around me.

"He sounds like a gentleman." I smile against his chest.

"He was." I whisper. "I wear the jacket because it makes me feel closer to him, like he's protecting me or something." Remembering him, his gentle but firm manner, his love for his family, makes me vision blurry with tears. I bury my face deeper into Peeta's chest, his strong hands gently stroking my hair. Peeta says nothing, sensing that I don't need comforting words, telling me that everything will be okay. My father is dead, and I will always grieve him. I will never fully get over his untimely death. But I can move past it. I can remember him, and relieve memories, but I will not always grieve him. There is silence in the hall other than my quiet sniffles. Eventually, my tears stop, and I pull away a little, standing on the tip of my toes to wrap my arms around his neck. Out of the corner of my eyes, I spot Prim peeking at us through the living room door, trying to be stealthy about it. It makes me smile.

"Are you okay?" Peeta asks quietly.

"Yeah, I'm alright." I reply. "Thank you." He smiles softly, one hand running through my hair, stopping at my braid. Then it runs down my back, sending a little shiver down my spine.

"Katniss, there's no need to thank me."

"I know, but I wanted to." He grins suddenly, pulling away from me and opening the wooden door.

"Let's go to town." He holds the door open for me, letting me walk past him. Shutting the door, he jogs down the steps to catch up with me. "Race ya to town!" He shouts, breaking out into a run. I stop in shock for a second, then tear off after him. Even though he had a head start, his leg slows him down. I'm small and slight, my body ideal for running. It doesn't take long for me to catch up to him. We run side by side, my braid flying out from behind me.

"You're not gonna win!" I gasp, my breath shorter, my heart pounding against my chest.

"Oh Kitten, of course I'm going to win!" He shouts back.

"_Or should I say, Kitten?"_ Gale's sneer echoes through my mind, making me stop dead in the middle of the street. My knees buckle and I sink to the floor, curling up into a ball. My arms lock around my knees, rocking back and forth. Gravel digs sharply into me, but I barely feel it.

"_You feel something else for me, and I'm gonna make you realize it."_

"_I know that when you fuck him, you wish it was me."_

"_You can't deny me when you've spread your legs for every man that even looks at you." _

"_I can expose you for who you are to the whole of Panem."_

"_Seam slut." _

The voices echo and echo. I close my eyes tightly, nails digging into my skin. I don't want a repeat of this morning. I take deep breaths, in and out, focusing on calming my heartbeat.

"Kitten?" A figure asks, looming over me.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" I screech, jumping up from my position and backing away from the blurry figure, wildly searching for a weapon. _The Games. I'm back in the Games. A tribute has come to kill me. Are they a career? Blonde hair. Is it Cato? Blue eyes. I'm sure it's Cato. How will I kill him if I don't have a weapon? He's more than twice my size. I make myself smaller, my fists clenching at my sides. He comes towards me, putting his arms on my shoulders. His lips move, but I can't hear the words. It must be some kind of threat. He takes one step closer and panicking; I draw up my fist and punch him in the face. He lets out a scream of pain, stumbling backwards, clutching his face. _

I blink, and feel myself return to my body. I gasp in horror. Peeta stands a meter or so away, his nose gushing scarlet liquid like a fountain. I rush towards him, and he stumbles back a little, clearly expecting another attack. Tears stream from my eyes.

"Peeta!" I choke out, my voice a broken whisper. "I'm so sorry!" I sob, burying my face into my hands. Peeta rips a section of his shirt, holding it to his nose. "What happened?"

"I don't know!" I burst out. "I think…I think it's because you called me…Kitten." I wince as I force the sound out of my mouth.

"What?" Peeta asks. "I've called you that a hundred times before and you've never minded." I sit next to him, taking the blood stained cloth and throwing it to the ground. I rip some of my shirt and hold it to his nose, gently applying pressure.

"I'm so sorry…" I whisper, guilt churning my insides. I hate myself so much right now.

"It doesn't matter." Peeta insists. "What happened?"

"Well, you know at the Harvest Festival, when I told you that Gale…"

"Yes." He says, cutting me off.

"Well, he found out that you called me _that_, and he used it as an insult against me. And when you said it, I don't know, I-"

"Was reminded of it." Peeta hangs his head, blood bubbling as he does so. "Sorry Katniss."

"You weren't to know!" I burst out. "Don't you dare try to take any of the blame for this. I'm the one that's fucked up." Still holding the cloth to his face, Peeta gives me an awkward one armed hug as I cry on his shoulder.

"You are not fucked up." He whispers.

"Of course I am Peeta! I thought you were Cato and I punched you! You're telling me that that means I'm perfectly normal, and nothing's wrong with me? Because from where I'm standing, I must be pretty crazy right now!"

"Katniss, calm down. You're not going to help anyone by getting angry." I close my eyes, trying to calm my erratic breathing. Peeta's right. In and out. In and out. I open my eyes and focus on Peeta's nose. I think it's stopped.

"Peeta, we have to take you to my Mother. She'll need to check that your nose isn't broken." I say, thinking about everything I could possibly know about nosebleeds. Then I gasp at the thought that I may actually have broken Peeta's nose. I feel sick at the thought. I turn away from Peeta's bloody nose and gaze at the forest. I can't believe that I actually hit him.

"Katniss, I don't need to visit your Mother. My nose isn't broken, and I'm fine. After all, I've had worse." He shrugs then smiles. I wish he'd stop putting on a brave face. I'm no better than his witch of a mother. Tears fill my eyes again. I wouldn't be surprised if he turned round and told me that he never wanted to see me again. At least I'd feel like I deserve that. I don't deserve his compassion.

"Peeta, please don't downplay this. Are you really okay?" I ask him. He looks me straight in the eye.

"Katniss, I am fine. Are we going to go to town or not?" I stare at him. He's not leaving me?

"I…erm…yes, I guess so." I reply, stunned. He takes my hand, weaving his fingers tightly through mine, walking off in the direction of town.

We walk through the square in silence. Peeta's head doesn't even turn as we pass the bakery. People stare at our joined hands. My cheeks bloom scarlet at all the attention. I hate the spotlight. I pull my hair forward, trying to hide my face from all the gossiping onlookers. Peeta looks down at me, flashing me a reassuring smile. I try to return it, griping his palm tighter. Our sweat sticks together the skin on skin contact becoming slippery and warm. It feels really disgusting, but I daren't let his hand go. When we cross that invisible divide between Seam and Merchant, Peeta untangles our fingers, turning to face me. His eyes stare intently into mine. Hypnotized, I can do nothing but gaze at him like an idiot.

"Why are you embarrassed?" He murmurs, his blue depths focused solely on me. A wave of emotion washes through me, shivers running down my spine.

"They were staring at me, at us." I reply, tearing my eyes away from his. If I stare at them any longer, I don't know what I'll do. "Doesn't it bother you?" I ask. His quick reply shocks me.

"No. Of course it doesn't bother me. To me, it feels amazing that people are finally recognizing that our feelings are genuine. I've dreamed about walking through that square, holding hands with you. I've dreamt it so many times you wouldn't believe it if I told you." He laughs a little, ducking his head like he expects a rebuff. I hate myself for it. Every time he said anything remotely nice to me, I shut him down. Now, his comments just fill me with happiness. It actually feels nice to let someone in, to have all my barriers down. It's exhausting trying to keep everyone at arm's length.

"I guess." I reply slowly. I don't want to hurt him. How selfish is it of me that I want to keep him with me, but I don't want to admit our newfound relationship with everyone? I've not even told my family, but I've publicly announced it to the whole of District 12 for fuck's sake! "I'd just prefer to keep it between us, for now at least."

"Why?" Peeta says intently, pearly white teeth burying into the flesh of his bottom lip. "Why can't we tell people? People already think we're together, why hide it? And so what if they think it's for the Capitol, we and our families will know that it's real!"

"Peeta, I don't want to tell anyone yet!" I snap. He takes a step backwards, putting cold air between us. His hopeful expression falls from his face and he scowls at the floor, kicking a bit of dirt with the toe of his boot. "I'm not ready yet." I explain in a softer tone. He looks up at me, waiting for a further explanation. "You've been ready for this day for years, but to me, this is all so new. I want to explore what we have, what we could have. I just don't think now's the right time to tell people."

"So, you're not hiding it because you feel ashamed or guilty?" Peeta questions.

"No!" I burst out. "I'm not hiding anything! How could I be ashamed of you? You're one of the kindest, most generous people in the whole of Panem! As for feeling guilty, why would I?" Peeta sighs, his boots suddenly becoming the most interesting thing for him to look at. He stares at the dirt with indecision, rolling back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"So you have no feelings for Gale, at all?" I want to roll my eyes and tell him he's being ridiculous and insecure, but I can't. I've given him more than enough reason to suspect that I have feelings for Gale. But he's wrong. I've always had feelings of affection for Gale, as a hunting partner, as a brother. Never has it been anything more. Every time he's kissed me, it's felt wrong. Not like how I feel when I kiss Peeta, which leaves me wanting more and more.

"Peeta." I say, reaching up on my tip toes and taking his pointed chin into my hand, bringing his face up to look into mine. "I have never had feelings for Gale. Only as a brother. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. And ever since the Harvest Festival, I can't even bring myself to think of him as a brother. A brother would not be so forceful, so cruel. You, Peeta Mellark, are the only person that can make me feel this way. Only you." My voice breaks off into a whisper.

"Katniss," He replies, a cheeky grin spreading over his face. "You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that!"

"I think I've got some idea!" I laugh as he picks me up like I weigh nothing. He swings me round and round, until I'm breathless and dizzy. Laughing, he gently puts me down, pulling me in close. His body heat surrounds me and our lips touch for a second. The kiss is short and sweet, but it feels like it lasts a lifetime.

Walking up the grimy back street that leads to the entrance of the Hob, our hands brush against each other. My cheeks bloom scarlet each time they collide. The second our skin touches, a tiny spark runs through me, from my fingertips straight down my spine, making the tiny hairs on my arm stand up on end. I push open the ancient creaking door, leading Peeta inside. The Hob is alive with activity, people bustling to and fro, the shouts of sellers coming every few seconds.

"Buy a ball of wool, get one free!" A vendor sings behind an enormous pile of wool.

"Liquor, here, get ya liquor!" Ripper yells. "Best alcohol in town, right here!"

"Buy my wares!" A deep voice booms from the right of me. "Make your house the best in town! Make ya neighbors green with envy! You'll be talk of the town with my wares shinin' in ya windows!" Peeta looks at me, his eyes wide with surprise.

"This is the Hob?" He questions. I laugh at his innocence. I'm surprised that he hasn't been here before. Even though Merchants can usually afford to buy from shops in the square, a few are Hob regulars. I guess the temptation of a good bargain is enough to sway them away from the expensive shops. The warehouse is loud, people's voices ricocheting off the walls and bouncing around the room, from one stall to another.

"Yes." I laugh, tugging him towards Ripper's stall. The old wooden floorboards creak as I walk. I never really visited Ripper's stall before, having no need to really. Perhaps my father visited her stall, but I guess it's just one more thing I'll never know about him. Since winning the Games, I've got to know Ripper a little more. Her true personality is hidden behind rags and a crooked grin. But she's as tough as old boots, with a tongue as sharp as steel.

"Four bottles of white liquor please Ripper." Her dull grey eyes flash up to meet mine.

"Ey up Everdeen! How ya doin'?" She grins, a cigarette dangling from her mouth. She brings a rusty key out of her pocket, unlocking a cabinet behind her. She pulls out the bottles, clear liquid sloshing noisily inside the dirty glass.

"I'm alright thankyou Ripper, how are you?" I reply cordially. She takes a long drag on her cigarette, sighing peacefully as the poisonous gas reaches her lungs. She blows the smoke in my direction and I fight the urge to cough on the toxic smoke.

"Oh, alright darl, just business as usual ya know? Just fancied a ciggie since its bloody crazy in here today. Still, good for business right?" She grins, stained yellow teeth flashing in the dim light. "Fiver." She grunts as I take the bottles from her side of the table, pulling them over to mine. Peeta digs in his pocket, about to hand over the money when I stamp on his toe.

"What was that for?" He says indignantly.

"Put your money away!" I hiss, quickly sticking his hand back in his pocket. "Don't say anything. I might be able to get some money off the price." Peeta frowns, confused.

"But you're a Victor; you don't need to haggle anymore." I roll my eyes at his naivety.

"It's the principle of it." I explain quickly and quietly, trying not to let Ripper overhear. The second she finds out Peeta's got a lot of money; they'll pounce on him like a pack of wild dogs. To be fair, I'm surprised they haven't tried already. They completely rip off the Merchants that visit here. They make them think that they're getting a good deal, when they're in fact paying more money than what they would in the square. I'm not saying its right, but at the end of the day, the Hob vendors have to make a living and pay the rent for the stall. They have a deal with old Cray. They pay him rent and he gets everything for half price. In return he promises he won't tell the Capitol about the black market. I'm sure they already know, since there are cameras everywhere in the District, but the deal seems to work.

"Wait a minute," I tell Ripper, putting a hand on my hip. The key is to act confident. "There's no way I'm paying a fiver for four bottles of liquor!" Ripper takes another drag on her cigarette, her grey eyes fixed on mine.

"I don't make the prices." She cackles, perching on the edge of the table.

"Of course you make the prices!" I snap back, leaning forward and looking her right in the eye. "I'm telling you, I'm not paying a fiver for four bottles!" Ripper rolls her eyes, letting out a deep throaty cough that racks her whole body. Heaving her shoulders back, she sighs deeply.

"Alright, alright, I'll make ya a deal. Four an' 50." She replies, holding out a bony hand, nails black with grime.

"No way." I reply. "Four. Final offer. Pound a bottle. Seems about fair to me." I hold out my hand, and my olive skin seems to glow against her grimy hand. Ripper stares at my hand.

"Four an' 50, and I'll give ya an extra bottle. That suit ya darl?" Staring into her eyes, I nod, shaking her hand. I grip it firmly, making sure that I exude confidence. She lets my hand go, slamming another bottle down onto the table. I scoop them up, putting them carefully into my game bag. You have to be careful with Ripper's bottles. They're not exactly the best quality glass, and could shatter at any moment. It's so irritating when you waste good money on spilt liquor. I dig out the money, making sure that it's the dirty District copper. There's no point using the pristine Capitol notes. The stalls wouldn't have enough change to pay me back anyway. I saunter away from the stall, Peeta in tow. I feel pleased at that trade. I could have gotten a lower price, but when she offers an extra bottle, there's no way I'd say no. It'll please Haymitch anyway.

"You look happy." Peeta observes quietly.

"I can't tell you how good it feels when you make a good trade. The vendors love it. They also love ripping someone off, and I'm not going to be made an idiot for making a stupid trade. You have to keep your money in your pocket, or they'll pounce on you and never let go." I warn him. If he's going to visit the Hob more frequently, he'll need to know the rules. I walk over to Greasy Sae's stall. She's stirring a large pot of steaming soup, a small fire burning brightly beneath it.

"Katniss!" She grins, dropping the ladle into the soup. "Shit." She curses, pulling a wooden spoon out of her apron pocket and fishing through the soup for the missing ladle. Eventually, it floats to the top. Sighing, Sae plucks it out with her finger, placing the ladle on a dingy dishcloth and licking her finger clean.

"Sae." I smile, shaking her hand firmly.

"It's been a while girlie, I ain't gonna lie! When was the last time I saw ya, a week, two, maybe three?" I look down at her table, the cracked bowls piled up neatly on the table.

"Sorry Sae, I've been busy." I murmur, knowing that the excuse is one of the most pathetic one's ever made.

"Ahh well, not to worry lovie, I'm just saying that we've missed ya. And who's this young man at your side?" She asks, gesturing to Peeta. I fight the urge to roll my eyes. Of course she knows who he is. She just wants me to admit it.

"Sae, this is Peeta, my…" I trail off awkwardly. What is Peeta? It's far too soon to call him my boyfriend. But he's much more than a friend. The dilemma churns and churns inside me, twisting my stomach into a painful knot.

"I'm her friend." Peeta says firmly, smiling down at me. The knot loosens a little.

"Right…" Sae replies, a twinkle in her eye and a grin on her face. "It's a pleasure to meet ya Peeta."

"You too." Peeta replies politely, shaking her hand, his blonde hair flopping over his eyes. He flashes his winning smile, and I can almost see her swoon at his heart stopping grin.

"So have you been keeping our girlie away from us?" She asks, pointing her wooden spoon at his chest.

"Well, I wouldn't say I was…erm…" He panics, his usually smooth speech stuttering and jumbled.

"Ahh don't worry I was only kiddin' lovie!" She teases, letting out a long and loud cackle. "You fancy some soup?"

"Sure." Peeta replies, taking a chipped blue bowl and holding it out. She spoons in some soup, which today is sludge brown and the consistency of mud. She hands him a metal spoon, pulling up a chair from a nearby table.

"Enjoy!" She cackles. I sit down on the other table, watching to see if he'll actually eat the soup. Anxiously he looks at me, and I raise my eyebrows, daring him to try it. He digs his spoon in, bringing up the soup. He stares at it for a second, indecision splayed across his handsome features. Then, closing his eyes, he shoves the spoon in his mouth, scrunching up his face as he swallows. Then his eyes flutter open in surprise, a slight smile on his face.

"Delicious!" He announces, his eyes wide with surprise. I can't help but laugh at his expression.

"Sae's soup often looks awful, but it always tastes delicious, doesn't it Sae?"

"Ay, that it does! Eh, what do you mean 'looks awful'? I'll have you know that mine's the best soup on the market, ya won't get better anywhere else!" Smirking, I flap a dishtowel at her.

"I'm only kidding!" I tease. For a while, we sit and chat to Sae, eating her soup. When I asked her what was in it, she just tapped her nose and said I wasn't to know. When it comes to Sae's soup, you're often better not knowing what's gone into it. After spending an hour or two in the Hob, we head off home. Peeta walks me to my door, leaning against it.

"Thanks for bringing me to the Hob, Katniss. I had a great time!" I smile, taking a step closer to him.

"Me too. We should do it again sometime." He smiles in reply, wrapping a strong arm around my waist. I loop my arms around his neck, fingers threading through his blonde locks at the nape of his neck. I close my eyes, waiting for the moment that his lips touch mine. My body tingles with anticipation, my whole body on edge. His lips taste faintly of Sae's soup, but they're soft and warm and fit so perfectly on mine. Slowly we break apart and I hug him close, resting my head on his strong chest. Then I take a step back.

"Goodnight Peeta." I say quietly, stretching up to plant a kiss on his cheek.

"Night Katniss." He replies, opening the door for me. I walk in, shutting the door firmly and locking it. I lean against the wood, a huge smile lifting my cheeks.

**Author's Note: That was a fairly long chapter wasn't it? Oh well, you guys seem to like longer chapters anyway. I thought it was time to bring back the D12 citizens and I just couldn't resist Peeta's first time in there! Thanks to TheRealPrimroseEverdeen my fanfiction bestie, she gives me so much support, that you guys probably wouldn't have anywhere near so much updates if it wasn't for her! I've also started re-reading the Hunger Games series, for the millionth time, so hopefully that'll inspire me and you'll be getting lots of lovely updates. Can I be really cheeky and ask you guys for a massive favor? My brother has bet me that if this story receives 100,000 views by December, he will give me £10. So come on guys, let's get this story to 100,000 views! Leave a review and let me know what you think about this chapter, I always love to hear your opinions!**

**Love, **

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	36. Good Deeds

**Author's Note: Hi everyone! How are you all doing? I hope you're okay. Since I've been re-reading Hunger Games, I've been inspired to write another chapter. I'm trying to get some chapters written before I go on holiday next month, but you all know what I'm like with deadlines! I'm hoping I'll get this chapter out before I go. I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own anything from Hunger Games. It belongs to the fantastic Suzanne Collins.**

_I lean against the wood, a huge smile lifting my cheeks._

Chapter 36

"Katniss?" My mother calls from the living room. Slipping off my shoes, I hang my father's jacket up on the wall. I walk into the living room cautiously. The fire glows softly behind an iron prison, flickering light casting strange shadows on the cream wall. My mother is seated in her armchair, a thick volume on her lap. Looking up, she places a frayed scrap of material in between the thick parchment to mark her place, gently setting the book down on the table next to her.

"Yes mother?" I ask, sitting on the sofa opposite her.

"Did you have a nice outing in town?" She questions, focusing all her attention on me.

"Erm, yes it was alright thanks." I reply, fiddling with a tassel on one of the decorative cushions. I did have a nice time in the Hob. I enjoyed spending time with Greasy Sae and Ripper. But I had almost ruined everything with that stupid flashback of mine. That one word, said as a joke, sparked a strange sensation inside me that couldn't be tamed. I still can't believe that I hit Peeta. What sort of sick and cruel person does that? I hate how he downplayed it, pretended it was nothing. I bet that's how he acts when his mother beats him. Guilt twists my insides, round and round. The knife of guilt stabs at my heart, digging and digging until I can barely breathe.

"Katniss?" My mother asks, standing over me, a concerned expression displayed on her face. I've wrapped an arm around my torso, gasping for breath. Startled, I look up at her. What is going on with me today? I'm acting like a crazy person. Unwinding my arm from around my body, I force myself to stand on wobbling legs.

"I'm fine." I reply quickly, reaching over to peck her cheek. "I'm feeling a little tired, so I'm going to head up to bed. See you in the morning!" I gable, before rushing out the room and up the stairs. I don't stop until I'm in my room, the door tightly closed. Dumping my game bag on the sofa, I wander over to the window, looking at the night sky. There are no stars, only clouds, obscuring the light from the moon. The Victor's Village is cast in darkness, the shadows playing amongst the silent houses. I feel a chill rising within me. When I lived in the Seam, there was never any silence. During the day, children played boisterously on the streets; housewives chattered amongst their laundry, the clumping of worn leather boots on cobbled streets. At night, there was the clatter of pots and pans; the buzz of the TV's when the Capitol aired the Games. It was never silent. Silence means two different things to me now. On one hand, it means solitude, it means peace, it means the woods. But even in the woods, it is never silent. There is always the rustle of leaves, the cracking of twigs, and the songs of the birds. On the other hand, silence is a bad thing. It means you are alone with your thoughts, dangerous things that take root and grow until they are at the forefront of your mind. Silence is the Games, wondering when death will take you, wondering who could be getting brutally murdered this very minute…Stop. The Games are over, for now. I will never participate in another Hunger Games. I have got to stop thinking like this. No wonder I'm acting like a crazy person when I think that I'm still in the Games. I should be rejoicing today. After what seems like forever, Peeta and I are finally together. I should be lying back on my bed, a huge smile on my lips, clutching a pillow to my chest as I giggle excitedly. Instead, I'm staring mournfully out my window. A flicker of light catches my attention. I turn my head to see Peeta in his room. He must have lit a candle, since the light is soft and flickering. He moves round the room, straightening this, tidying that. Then he begins to walk over to the window. Heart pounding, I duck down, flattening my back against the wall. I hear the creak of the window as he opens it. I wait a few seconds, then slowly stand, checking that the coast is clear. Peeta stands at the side of his bed, dragging a hand through his hair. Then his strong arms are crossed over themselves, pulling off his shirt in one smooth coordinated move. I gasp at the sight. Peeta, now shirtless, muscles rippling in the soft candlelight, lifts his arms and stretches, his mouth open as he groans. I cannot hear the noise he makes, but I feel it, rippling throughout my body. He gets into bed, blowing out the candle, and his room is engulfed in darkness. I slump down onto the window seat, my legs suddenly unable to hold my bodyweight. I lean my head against the glass, utterly confused. Seriously, what is wrong with me today? Sighing, I get up and undress, throwing on a random pair of pajamas. I rest my head on the soft pillow, tossing and turning. Why can't I sleep? My mind goes back and forth, unable to lodge the image of a shirtless Peeta out of my mind. The feeling from earlier comes back, now stronger than ever. Flipping over to the other side of the bed, I close my eyes and try and force it out of my mind. But it refuses to move. I have a strange urge to run over to his house and kiss him senseless. I roll my eyes at myself. I'm being pathetic. Peeta was shirtless, so what? Why should I let it affect me so? I snuggle further into the warm bed, trying to let sleep come to me. My last thought is of Peeta Mellark, the boy with the bread…

"No!" I gasp, sitting up in bed, kicking the sweaty duvet away from me. I draw my knees up to my chest, curling up into a ball. I shake my head from side to side, trying to dispel the grotesque images in my mind. When I finally come to my senses, I uncurl myself, dragging myself out of bed. I glance at the clock, sighing when it reveals the time. There's no point trying to get back to sleep. It will never happen. I grab a large fluffy jumper out of my cupboard, pulling it over my head. I shiver slightly. Now that the autumn leaves are beginning to fall, the nights have been getting increasingly colder. This means that it'll be a hard winter. I wander down the hall, pausing to open the door to Prim's room. I see her curled up on the bed, young, sweet and innocent. Her golden hair is splayed over her pillow, her mouth curved into a sweet smile. I close the door carefully, trying not to make any noise. Smiling, I go downstairs, carefully avoiding the steps that creak when you put your weight on them. It wouldn't be fair to wake my mother and Prim just because I can't sleep. A few minutes later, I find myself pacing the length of the house, wondering aimlessly throughout the rooms. I focus on my footsteps so I don't dwell on my nightmare. It doesn't really work. Step. The cornucopia, its golden horn glinting in the sunlight. Step. Tributes hacking away at each other, competing for the weapons that will ensure their survival. Step. Clove's knife flying past me, nearly lodging in my head. Step. My mouth opens in a wordless scream, the noise trapped in my throat. Suddenly, I rush out of the house, unable to withstand the stuffy room. I escape into the cool night air. It's cold, but the air still tastes slightly sweet, the lingering reminder of summer. Taking a deep breath, I perch on the cold stone steps, feeling the cold leach through my pajamas and numbing my bottom. I watch the sun crawl reluctantly through the sky, almost unwilling to wake up and face the day. I know how it feels. I feel that way myself. A creak to my right catches my attention. Peeta's kitchen window has been opened. At least I'm not the only person awake. I guess he must be baking. I feel like I should go talk to him, but I can't seem to bring myself to move. Huddled in a jumper, I sit on the steps. I barely notice the time passing.

"Katniss?" Peeta's voice makes my head snap up. My neck clicks as I move my head, numbed from hours of sitting in the same position.

"Yeah?" I croak. He stares at me in concern, his eyebrows knitting together.

"Are you okay?" He asks kindly. I look up at him, his blue eyes gazing down at me.

"I don't know!" I burst out, tearing my eyes away from his. He sits down next to me, setting the wicker basket on the steps next to him. He places a strong arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest. I snuggle against his warmth, my fingers clutching onto his shirt.

"Kat, you're freezing!" Peeta exclaims, taking his arms and rubbing them on mine, trying to warm me through friction. I smile at his kind gesture, sitting closer to him so that I'm practically in his lap. "It's okay to cry you know." Peeta's voice disturbs the silence. I look up at him confused.

"What?" I finally say.

"It's okay to be sad." He replies. "It's fine to admit once in a while that you're not strong enough." My eyes well with tears. I bury my face into his soft shirt so that he can't see me cry.

"I have to be strong. For my mother. For…Prim." My voice, muffled by the shirt breaks on her name. Peeta tilts my head up, gently running his thumbs over my cheeks.

"You don't have to be." He tells me firmly, looking into my eyes so that I'll believe it. "You don't have to be Katniss Everdeen, Victor of the Hunger Games, tough as old boots with an astonishing talent with a bow. You can just be Katniss."

"At least I know who Katniss Everdeen is." I reply. "I knew where I fitted in. I knew who I was. Now, I don't have a clue." Peeta tilts his head, looking out on Victor's Village.

"That's for you to decide." He finally says. "Only you know who Katniss is. You're in control of your own destiny Katniss. You can choose who you want to be and what you want to do." Sitting up, I look into them, feeling my inner strength return.

"You're right." I murmur.

"Of course I'm right!" He chuckles, turning my bad mood into a good one with one sentence. "You are not always right!" I retort, shoving him good-naturedly.

"Okay, okay." He says, holding his hands up in the air. "How about we compromise and say that we're both always right?" I smile, rolling my eyes at him.

"Okay." I agree. Peeta reaches into his wicker basket, pulling out a pastry wrapped in linen to protect it from the elements.

"Here. I bet you haven't eaten anything." Smiling gratefully, I take the still warm pastry into my hands. I unwrap the linen, taking a bite. As usual, it's delicious.

"Mmm…" I sigh blissfully, leaning my head against Peeta's shoulder. He laughs, but shifts away from me a little. I sit up, frowning at him. Why did he move away from me?

"I'm glad you like it!" He chuckles, flashing me a devastatingly handsome smile. An image of last night springs into my mind, and I try and force it away, taking another bite of the mouth-watering pastry. I finish it with another few bites, licking the buttery grease away from the corner of my lips and brushing away the crumbs. We sit in silence for a while. Victor's Village is nearly always silent. You can't hear the bustle of town, it's so far away. "My family will be up by now." Peeta states quietly. "My father gets up at four, my brothers and I got up at five. Any later, and my mother would beat us. Then, we'd have to start the oven, shoveling coal and stoking the fire until it was burning hot. We have three big ovens, and one of them always breaks. It takes forever to light it! Of course my brothers would leave that for me, because I was the most patient. We'd chat lightheartedly, until my mother came down. She'd assign tasks for us to do. Mostly they were the same; light the ovens, clean the surfaces, make the dough, make sure the shop was clean. Sometimes, she'd give us the task of checking the store cupboard. Then, we'd be able to sneak a spoonful of sugar or a handful of raisins." He sighs wistfully, as if remembering the stolen happy moments of his childhood. I listen interested, having never really heard about his life in the bakery. "But if my mother caught us…Rye got caught once, with a girl." He chuckles and I laugh along with him. Only Rye would dare to try and sneak a girl into the bakery. "I think she was one of the merchant's daughters." Peeta went on. "She hadn't stayed over or anything, perhaps she had called to get a loaf of bread and Rye convinced her to stay. It sounds like something he would do. Anyway, my mother caught him, and you did not want to be in his shoes then. She beat him so hard with a wooden spoon that the handle snapped clean off!" I gasp, a little shocked. I should hardly be surprised, but every time I hear of Mrs Mellark's cruelty it never fails to shock me.

"Why don't you all stand up to her?" I ask. "Surely, if there are three of you, you could easily overpower her." Peeta stares at me, shock evident in his blue eyes, almost as if the thought has never even crossed his mind.

"She's my mother!" He protests. "I could never…I would never…" He chokes out, as if the though repulses him.

"I know that," I reply. "But she…she beat you for years. Why didn't your father say anything?" I can't ever imagine the kind hearted baker supporting the abuse of his sons.

"I don't know." Peeta replies quietly. "After, he would silently slip us a cookie or something, but he has never once stood up for us." Rage silently fills me. Kind hearted Mr Mellark, who would smile at every child who entered his shop, who gave me a bag of cookies when I went into the Games, who swore to look after my sister, how could he stand by while his sons were abused by a witch? For a second I wonder how he ended up with a woman like Mrs Mellark. I remember that Peeta said in the cave that his father wanted to marry my mother. It's so weird to think about, but I like to think that even if they had married, my father would still have fallen in love with my mother. Their love was so pure and true, you could feel it radiating from them a mile off. If I ever fell in love, I would want it to be like that. Suddenly, I realize that Peeta is talking. "So, are we gonna sit here all morning, or are we actually going to get up and do something?" I look up at him.

"What should we do?" I ask. It has to be said, District 12 doesn't have much in the way of entertainment.

"Well, I've got a huge basket of bread. It'd be a shame for it to go to waste wouldn't it?" Peeta says. He stands up, offering a hand out to me. I take it, his skin warm and rough from years of working with ovens. I groan as I stand up, my muscles protesting angrily. I start to walk down the steps, but the sound of my name called makes me turn. "You might want to put some clothes on!" Peeta says. I look down at myself, still in my rumpled pajamas and blush.

"Perhaps you're right…" I reply, wanting to bolt inside as fast as possible.

"Hey, I like it," Peeta smirks, winking slightly. My blush reddens even more, until I feel like my whole face is on fire. "I just wouldn't want the rest of District 12 looking at you with so little clothes on. What would your mother say?" I look down at my bare feet, toes curling in the cold.

"Give me a minute." I murmur, opening the front door as quietly as possible. "Stay here, and I'll be back in a second." Peeta pretends to look offended.

"Why can't I come in?" He says, his eyes wide with 'hurt'. I roll my eyes at him and smirk.

"Because you walk louder than a pack of wild dogs running through the woods. Do you not remember when we tried to hunt in the Games?" Peeta nods his head, as if remembering.

"Ahh yes. And you were very pissed off with me. Pretty much like most days then!" He chuckles. "Go on, go get changed. I'll stay here." I smile in reply, going inside and shutting the door. Warmth swirls around me, sending a shiver down my spine. Quietly, I sneak back up the stairs, going into my room and pulling out a pair of thick black trousers and a maroon coloured top. I pull them on, the trousers fitting to my legs like a second skin. I go back downstairs, pulling on some leather boots and a jacket. Glancing at myself in the mirror, I unbraid my hair, combing through it with my fingers then re-braiding it. It's not the best outfit I've ever worn, but it'll have to do. I'm surprised by how much I want to look nice for Peeta. After all, he's seen me in a far worse state. Heading back outside, Peeta looks up and flashes me a brilliant smile. He hoists the overflowing basket into his strong arms, and starts walking to town, slowing a little so that I can keep up with him. As we walk to town, we chat about anything that comes into our heads. The conversation flows naturally, with Peeta cracking jokes. I surprise myself by how much I enjoy myself. I expected things to feel different since we are now 'together' but it still feels normal. I don't feel obligated to be something I'm not. I can just be myself, and I like how normal the situation feels. As we go under the brick arch that leads into the square, I expect Peeta to turn right and go into the bakery but he marches straight on.

"What are you doing?" I ask him. I thought he would have dropped the bread off with his family.

"I'm going to the Seam." He tells me, walking onwards.

"Why?" I question. He rolls his eyes.

"What does it look like? I'm going to give some bread to as many families as I can. When I have nightmares, I bake. My house is practically overflowing with food. I'm never going to eat it all. It might as well feed a family rather than go in the bin." My heart swells with pride at his statement. He has such a kind heart.

"They won't accept it." I tell him. He whirls around in the middle of the square, clearly wanting me to elaborate further. "They'll think its charity, and they don't have anything to repay you." Peeta smiles.

"Come on." He tugs me through the square, shop windows lit up but no customers are milling around. It's far too early for that. We pass through the divide between Seam and Merchant, down one of the alleys, then come out near the Hob. There's a verge of grass on the opposite side of the street. Peeta puts his basket on the verge then waits. There's a minute of silence before all hell breaks loose. Children pour out of the homes, vying with each other to get close enough. The adults lean against the doorframes, watching the scene unfold. "The kids are more willing to accept the food." Peeta tells me, handing out a perfect loaf to a child that can be no more than six years old. He rushes back to his house on the other side of the street, excitedly showing his mother the treasure that he has brought home. She smiles, relief in her eyes. Her child will not starve today. She looks up at me, nods in thanks, then shuts the door. I turn back to Peeta, surrounded by a crowd of children. He gives and gives, the basket never seeming to run out of food. How much has Peeta made to give to all these families? A smile creeps up on my face as I step forward, taking a loaf and turning to hand it to the nearest child.

"Katniss?" Posy's tiny face looks up at me.

"Posy? Oh it's so good to see you!" I smile, as she throws her arms around me.

"I haven't seen you in aaaages!" She giggles. Guilt courses through me when I realize that I haven't seen Hazelle in weeks. How is she coping while Gale's in the mines? Yes they've got more money, but money is easily spent on wages and essentials. I haven't really hunted properly in weeks. I decide that I'll see Hazelle tomorrow. I'll go hunting, and then give her the meat. As I hand Posy a loaf, I can't help but feel grateful towards Peeta. He is the person keeping little children like Posy alive. As she disappears back home, I throw my arms over Peeta, engulfing him in a tight hug.

"Thank you." I whisper into his arm. I feel him smile against my neck as his arms wrap strongly around me. I pull back a little, planting a kiss on his lips. It was meant to be a quick peck, a thankyou kiss but it somehow turned more passionate, our lips melding to each other, the familiar feelings igniting inside of me. I break away when I hear the children around us giggle, clearly not used to such passionate displays of affection. We pull apart, my cheeks burning. We continue to hand out bread until there is none left. Peeta looks heartbroken as he has to explain to the kids that there is no more food. Some of the children cry, others just trudge away sadly. Peeta turns away from them, but I can see the shine of tears on his cheek. I tell the children that we will be back soon, then wrap my arms around him, hugging him from behind. I rest my head on his back, and I feel his body shake as I hold him against me.

"I hate disappointing them." He whispers. I take my arms off him, walking round so that I can see his face. I stretch up on my tip toes, using my sleeve to dry his tears.

"I know." I say quietly.

"Every day, I try and make more, so that I can feed them all. But it's impossible. And it breaks my heart when I've got all these kids that will go hungry all because I can't make enough. He stares mournfully at the houses behind us.

"Peeta." He turns and looks back at me. "What you're doing, is amazing. No-one I know would even think of that. You can only do so much, but what you are doing means so much to everyone here. I can see it. They know that you are trying, and they greatly appreciate it. If you ever get into some kind of trouble, you can guarantee that all the people you have helped will be there to help you. Honestly, Peeta, you couldn't be doing more." He smiles.

"Thanks Kat. I needed to hear that." He runs his hand through his hair, smiling through the pain. He hugs me close, burying his face in my hair. I take a shuddering breath in, relishing the feeling of comfort in his arms. We stay in a close embrace for an unmeasurable amount of time. We pull apart and I pick up the empty basket.

"Come on, let's go home." I tell him, lacing my fingers through his. We walk back to Victor's Village, the early morning sun peeping through the clouds from the night before.

**Author's Note: There ya go! I'm honestly not sure if another chapter will be written before I go on holiday. I've got two weeks left, so I'm not sure. Who knows? ;-) I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know there wasn't a huge amount of action, but I promise, good things are coming up very soon. You'll just have to be patient! Anyway, please leave a review, I love hearing your opinions and they are so valued. I also sometimes use ideas in my story, so if you've got a suggestion, I'd love t**

**o hear it. See you guys soon, and if you don't hear from me in a while, I'll be lying on a beach in sunny Spain! Hope you guys are having a great summer!**

**Love, **

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	37. Escape

**Author's Note: Hi everyone! Hope you're all doing okay! I'm sorry I haven't been on Fanfiction much, I've been on holiday! If you're going to Spain, I recommend that you go to Barcelona. It's a truly beautiful city, with something for everyone. Anyway, enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing from the Hunger Games franchise. It all belongs to the wonderful Suzanne Collins. **

_We walk back to Victor's Village, the early morning sun peeping through the clouds from the night before. _

Chapter 37

"Do you, erm, wanna come back to my place for a bit?" Peeta's nervous voice breaks the comfortable silence surrounding us. I look up at him, his eyes rimmed with red from earlier.

"Sure." I reply, my voice breaking with nerves. Why am I nervous? I've done this a million times before. But something has changed. We are no longer dancing around each other, playing a game. Now we're together, this proposition seems daring and bold. A tiny thrill runs down my spine, and I will it away before it overwhelms me. Silently, we walk into Peeta's house and I slip off my shoes and my father's jacket, hanging it on a peg along with my game bag. The soft leather slips through my fingers and the scent of baking swirls around me. Peeta wanders into the living room, chilly in the early September morning.

"I'm sorry I didn't get the fire going," He murmurs, bending awkwardly and arranging the fire. "I didn't expect to have company." He turns his head to look at me, flashing a handsome grin that turns my insides to a gooey mush, makes my heart beat faster. I roll my eyes at myself. It's just a smile. Why should it affect me so? Peeta strikes a match, holding the small flame to the kindling. It lights in a burst of flames and suddenly the whole room is aglow with light. I perch on the edge of the sofa, staring silently into the flames. Suddenly, I feel awkward. What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to say? Peeta disappears into the kitchen, and I hear the whistle of the kettle as it boils. The fire roars, the flames dancing round each other in a frenzied inferno. Katniss Everdeen the girl on fire…how could I represent something so wild, so uncontrollable?

"Penny for your thoughts?" A voice asks, making me jump. I'm such a nervous wreck these days. Anything and everything seems to startle me. Peeta hands me a steaming mug of tea, settling down on the sofa next to me.

"Oh I don't know," I murmur. "I wasn't really thinking about anything, just random stuff I guess." Peeta smiles, the firelight casting strange shadows on his face.

"I like random stuff." He replies. I take a sip of my tea. Milk and two sugars, just the way I like it. A smile spreads across my cheeks before I can stop it. I look up at Peeta, watching the ways his eyelashes glint softly in the firelight. They brush his cheek every time he glances downwards, and for some strange reason, I just can't seem to stop staring at them. Suddenly he looks at me, catching me staring at him. A slow blush seeps over my cheeks, staining them crimson. Peeta smirks, as if he knows what I've just been doing. He couldn't know, could he? He's sat close to me, his leg touching mine. We're so close; I can feel his body heat.

Casually, as if he does this all the time, Peeta slings an arm across the back of the sofa, his fingers just brushing my shoulder. The gesture feels so nice; I can't help but lean back into the soft cushions. Eventually, I end up resting against Peeta's body, my head on his chest. I should move, I should get up, but it's so warm and comfortable, I just can't be bothered. My eyes start to droop. My hand snakes up to rest on the center of his chest, the hard muscles tense beneath my hand. I didn't get much sleep last night. My nightmare…a shiver runs down my spine and I bury further into Peeta's chest, comforted by his warmth and strength. His arm encircles me protectively, his hand warm on my hip. His thumb brushes my bare skin where my shirt has ridden up slightly, and I can't find it within me to brush his hand away. His rough skin traces patterns on my skin, filling me with an indescribable feeling.

"Thanks." I murmur, looking up at him.

"What for?" He asks quietly, brushing a lock of hair off my forehead.

"Just for being there. You're always there for me. I appreciate it." I smile, and his eyes soften, gazing at me intensely.

"I always have and I always will." He tells me sincerely. "Go to sleep. I'll keep the nightmares away." I smile up at him gratefully. How can he keep the nightmares away? To my shock, tears fill my eyes. Peeta brushes them away with his thumb, the callused skin touching my cheek. "Hey," He whispers. "What's the matter?"

"I can't deal with the nightmares," I reply, hating myself for being so weak. They're not real, they don't exist, yet they never fail to shock me, to terrify me.

"Katniss." Peeta holds me closer, pressing his lips to my forehead. "It's okay. I promise. I'll keep them away as best as I can but if you have one, I'll wake you up." I bite my lip, staring into his blue eyes, wishing that I could believe him. "I promise." He repeats. Sighing, I take his advice, letting my eyes slide shut, snuggling closer to him. The fire crackles softly in the background. Sleep takes over me, letting me fade comfortably into a dreamless sleep…

A loud knock at the door startles me awake. I scramble to sit up, my tangled hair obscuring my vision. Impatiently, I push it out of my eyes, staring wide-eyed at Peeta. He looks back at me, confusion making the lines on his forehead deepen.

"Who's that?" I ask. "Are you expecting anyone?" He frowns, biting his lip nervously. The knock comes again, loud and impatient.

"No, I'm not." He replies, slowly getting off the sofa and walking out into the hallway. I stand up and walk over to the living room door, watching. He flashes me a reassuring smile, then squares his shoulders. For a moment, panic runs through me, turning my blood cold. Have the Peacekeepers come for us? It's probably illegal to do what we did this morning. But Peeta has been feeding people for days. Surely, if the Peacekeepers were really bothered, they would have come before now. Peeta looks over at me, sensing my panic. "Calm down Katniss," He reassures me. "It won't be what you think it is."

"But what if it is?" I challenge. He looks at me for a long time. The knock comes again, pounding against the wooden door. After a final second of deliberation, he opens the door.

"Have ya seen her?" Haymitch's gruff voice echoes through the hallway. I instantly relax, my shoulders slumping against the door frame.

"Seen who?" Peeta asks. Slowly, I turn and hide my body behind the door. I don't want to leave.

"Ya know who I'm talkin' about." Haymitch growls, losing patience. "Sweetheart's gone missing, and her mother has roped us all into a search party. Don't know why she bothers, she'll come back when she wants to. Bloody fuss about nothin', if ya ask me." I watch the back of Peeta's head nod slightly.

"Well, I'll keep an eye out for her." He says, going to shut the door. Haymitch's foot shoots through the gap, stopping Peeta from shutting the door.

"You know where she is." Haymitch says, darting forward in an attempt to get through the door.

"No I don't!" Peeta replies, too quickly. I watch Haymitch roll his eyes.

"You're a shitty liar Boy, you always have been. Now, where is she, so she can go home and I can get back to finding some liquor to drink." Peeta tries to wrestle Haymitch out the door, but he won't be moved. Sighing, Peeta stops trying to remove Haymitch, crossing his arms and leaning against a wall.

"Look, I don't know where Katniss is. Why don't you look in the woods?" He suggests.

"We will, soon. I wanted to try you first in case ya knew where she was. But like ya said, clearly ya don't know where she is. I'll tell her family. They're worried sick y'know. I know _your_ family don't care, but they do. They just wanna to help her, but she makes it pretty damn hard. So if ya know where she is, tell me." Peeta bites his lip, deliberating. Please, don't tell him, I internally beg. I don't want to go home just yet. I want to stay here, where I know I'm safe. Where no-one can get me.

"I've told you Haymitch, I really don't know. Let me put a coat on and I'll come and help with the search. Like I said, she's probably in a tree somewhere, shooting squirrels." Haymitch nods, taking a step towards the door.

"You're right Peeta. She'll be somewhere. See ya soon then." He turns and leaves, the door shutting firmly behind him. I emerge from behind the door.

"I thought he'd never leave!" I laugh, going over to Peeta and engulfing him into a hug. He rests his head on top of mine, his cheek warm against my hair.

"Tell me about it! Do you want to go home?" He looks at me and I shake my head. I really don't want to leave, not yet. I don't want to face the world. "Okay," He murmurs. "I'll go out and help with the search and you can stay here for a bit. You'll need to go home soon though; I don't want to be responsible for a national search party." I laugh, planting a kiss on his cheek.

"Okay." I agree.

Suddenly, the door bangs open. Haymitch leaps into the house.

"I knew you were lying to me, Boy! You've had Sweetheart here all along!"

"Haymitch, shut up!" Peeta hisses, dragging him forwards and shutting the door. "Katniss doesn't want to go, not yet anyway." Haymitch's anger suddenly dissolves into a smirk.

"Oh I see what's going on. _Bow-chica-wow-wow!_" He sings, grinning widely. He sighs dramatically. "I thought it was never gonna happen. Finally realized ya feelings did ya Sweetheart?" He jumps forward, clapping Peeta on the shoulder. I watch him stunned. What is he talking about? "Well done my Boy! Maybe now I can get some peace at night, you really need t'start shutting ya window!" Peeta's cheeks bloom bright scarlet.

"Haymitch!" He chokes out, taking a step forward. Haymitch holds his hands up, cackling manically.

"No need to get mardy about it, we all do it! Except maybe Sweetheart, cause she's a bit of an ice queen, ain't ya Sweetheart?" Peeta's nostrils flare in anger and he grabs Haymitch, throwing him against the wall.

"Don't you dare talk about Katniss like that!" Peeta yells. Haymitch ducks and dodges Peeta's attack.

"Don't you try it on wi' me Boyo, cause ya ain't gonna win. Now, I'm off to tell Mrs Everdeen where her _precious _daughter is." He steps forward, opening the door. I snag my game bag off the hook, the bottles clinking.

"Haymitch wait!" I shout, opening the bag to show the five glass bottles inside. Haymitch stops and lunges towards the bag, but I snatch it out of his grasp, holding it behind my back. "I got some white liquor in the Hob. If you want it, then you have to promise to go back to your house and not tell anyone where I am."

"Sure." He growls, lunging for the bag again. I hold it just out of his reach taunting him. Its blackmail, I know, but I have to be sure.

"Promise me." I tell him.

"I promise, I promise!" He gabbles. Slowly, I hand him the five bottles and he grasps them with a shaking hand. "Thank you!" He gasps, quickly unscrewing the lid and tipping the bottle down his throat. He sags against the door, sighing in relief as the poison goes down his throat. A wave of sadness comes over me. I suddenly see Haymitch in a different light. He's not just my sarcastic mentor that helped me survive; he is alone. A sad, old man, grieving for people that died nearly twenty years ago. I see a man struggling with addiction, walking the hard line of trying to remember, but trying to forget. Haymitch swallows, dragging his hand across his mouth. Shakily, he stands up, glaring at us with red-rimmed eyes. He growls in warning, then escapes out of the door, clutching the bottles in his arms. The door slams shut, echoing through the empty house. My hand finds Peeta's and I hold it tightly, struggling to contain the wave of emotions crashing around me.

"Peeta…" I whisper, tears spilling onto my cheeks.

"Shh," He whispers, pulling my close and rocking me back and forth. "I know."

"Will we end up like that?" I ask, feeling terrified at the thought. Peeta holds me closer, a hand gently stroking my hair.

"Of course we won't." He replies. "You've got your family and you've got me." I look up at him, smiling slightly. I raise my hand and cup his face.

"We've got each other." I say quietly. He smiles, leaning in. I close my eyes, anticipating his kiss. At first I barely feel it, his lips brushing softly against mine. Then they become more demanding, sweeping me up and locking me into a passionate kiss. I'm glad for the feel of his strong arms around me, because if they weren't there, my legs would have collapsed long ago. We break apart and I can't help but smile up at him. There is no way to describe how I feel when he kisses me. If you'd told me a year ago that I'd be standing in Peeta Mellark's house, dating him, kissing him, I'd have laughed in your face. A year ago…it feels like a lifetime. A year ago, I was probably just doing what I did every other day, hunting with Gale, providing for my family. Gale…The thought of him sends a twist of pain and guilt through my heart. I haven't seen him since the Harvest Festival. I'm still angry, it would be impossible not to be, but I can't help but feel guilty. Before the Games, I unknowingly lead him on, made him think that there was something between us. That hug before I left…to me it was just a friendly comforting hug, but to him, it must have made him think that I wanted what he wanted. I know it must have been hard for him during the Games, and I thought about him all the time. No wonder he was angry. I'm not excusing what he has done; he has caused me so much pain that I feel it would be impossible to forgive him. But perhaps he needs a chance to explain things.

"Katniss?" Peeta says quietly. I look up at him, feeling guilty for even thinking of Gale when I'm in his arms. He just kissed me and all I can think of is Gale. He really doesn't deserve me. But I'm not with Gale and I don't want to be. I want to be with Peeta. Surely that has to count for something?

Another knock at the door stops whatever he is about to say. Is Haymitch back again? Peeta opens the door and my mother bursts in, her cheeks wet with tears.

"Is she here? I sent Haymitch to check, but he hasn't come back and I-" She looks up and sees me standing in the hallway; hair tousled and clothes askew from sleep. Her face flushes with anger. "Have you been here all night?" She demands. I begin to protest, but she refuses to hear it. She grips my wrist, pulling me out of the door, not letting me say goodbye.

"Mrs Everdeen wait!" Peeta yells, rushing up to us. "It's not what you think!" The wind swirls around me, causing goosebumps to rise up on my arms. I glance up at the sky, the clouds a stormy grey. I sniff the air. It smells like rain. Peeta places a hand on my arm and my mother whirls round, wrenching his hand off me. Anger flares inside me. How dare she treat Peeta in this way?

"Get your hands off _my_ daughter." She growls. Shocked, Peeta takes a step backwards. I do a double-take. I've heard my mother angry, sure, but she sounds furious.

"Mother-" I begin, but she glares at me, tugging me away from Peeta.

"No. In the house, now." I stand still and stare her out, crossing my arms over my chest. Why should I do what she says? She has no right. "NOW!" She screams, voice echoing through Victor's Village. I look back at Peeta, the wind whipping through my hair, obscuring my vision.

"You should go Katniss." Peeta says, the sadness evident in his voice. "I'll see you later."

"But…" I trail off.

"KATNISS EVERDEEN, YOU HAVE THREE SECONDS TO GET INTO THE HOUSE!" My mother screeches, her voice so high, I swear it could make glass crack. Slowly, I walk away from Peeta, never taking my eyes off him. The second I'm through the door, my mother shuts it firmly and locks it, pocketing the key. I glare at her through narrowed eyes.

"What do you think you're doing?" I yell. Suddenly, the rain thunders down onto the roof, lashing out against the world. The drops slide down the windows, smearing the once-clean glass.

"I'm protecting my daughter!" She retorts.

"No, you're smothering me! Why won't you let me see Peeta?" My mother shakes her head, like I'm a stupid five-year-old who doesn't understand anything.

"Oh for goodness sake Katniss, give up the 'innocent act'. It won't wash with me."

"I don't understand what you're talking about." I shout. My mother sighs irritably.

"Why won't you just admit it? You've slept with him!" I frown, confused.

"Why would you think that? I mean…I haven't…we haven't…" I trail off, an awkward atmosphere settling over the two of us.

"Katniss, you've been there all night, what else was I supposed to think?" I roll my eyes.

"Mother, if you'd given me a chance to explain, then this wouldn't have happened! I had a nightmare last night, and I was just sat outside. Peeta saw me and we went to town for a bit. Then I came back to his and fell asleep on the sofa. That's it." My mother walked over to me, staring intensely into my eyes, like she was trying to look right through me.

"Are you telling me the truth?" she questions, her eyes searching mine.

"Yes." I reply, trying to keep calm. After a tense moment, she sighs, moving away from me and slumping into a chair.

"I'm sorry," She murmurs, her head in her hands. "I just…I was so worried when I found your bed empty. I know you used to go out all the time before and it never used to worry me because I always knew where you were and you were with Gale. He's always looked after you…But now, I never know what you're going to do! One minute you're here, and the next minute you're there, it scares me Katniss! Seeing you so…unstable, I don't know what you'll do next. Can you really blame me for worrying where you've been?" Her voice breaks and she crumbles into a tearful mess. I sigh. I'd never realized what a burden I am to my family. I try to be strong, to protect them, but it really hasn't worked has it? They see me for what I am, a liability.

"I'm sorry too Mother. Honestly, I didn't mean to worry you. When I've had a nightmare…I'm not really thinking straight. I promise that Peeta and I haven't done anything. I mean, we've only just got together, we're not rushing into anything!" Shit. Oh crap. Fuck, fuckity fuck. I've just told my mother about Peeta and I. I bury my head in my hands, trying to pretend that I didn't say anything.

"What?" My mother gasps, straightening up and drying her tears.

"Nothing!" I say quickly, avoiding her piercing gaze.

"Are you and Peeta together? A couple?" I bite my lip, deliberating between lying and the truth. "Don't even think about lying, I will know." Sighing, I give up the pretense.

"I guess, I mean, we haven't really talked things through or anything…" I babble, hoping she will approve. Surely she can't disapprove of this? She's said so many times how nice Peeta is; surely she will be happy for me.

"Are you ready for this?" She asks, taking me by surprise. I nod.

"I am. I'm nervous, but when I'm with him, the fear just melts away. I tried Mother, I tried really hard not to fall for him, but I couldn't help it. I…I really like him." I'm stunned at how easily my feelings are slipping out with my mother. I can't even tell Peeta these things, how am I telling my mother? I can feel her gaze on me and after a long moment, she sighs.

"Well, I still think you're too young for a boyfriend, but I am happy for you Katniss."

"Thankyou Mother. It means a lot." She hugs me lightly, and then stands up to walk out of the living room. At the last minute, she turns.

"I'm proud of you Katniss. I always have been and I always will be. I hope you and Peeta will be happy together."

"Are you and Peeta together?" Prim squeals, bursting into the living room. "Oh I knew it would happen! I'm so happy! You can get married and I can be a bridesmaid…Do you think Buttercup would be a good ring-bearer?" My eyes widen in shock.

"Woah, calm down Prim! Peeta and I aren't getting married, we've only been together a day!" Prim squeals again, pulling me into a fierce hug.

"I know you'll get married one day! I just can't wait! This is so exciting!" A huge smile is plastered on her face, her eyes sparkling with delight. She's happier about this than I am! Prim pulls my mother into a hug and we all dance around the living room, engulfed in warm hugs. I glance at the window, the rain having stopped long ago. Now the sun shines brightly, a huge rainbow streaked across the sky. I hug my sister tightly, for once feeling hopeful about the future.

**Author's note: I know, I haven't been on Fanfiction in ages! I've been back from my holiday for a few weeks now and I've had no inspiration, until today! While I'm here, I want to tell you all about a fanfic that I'm writing with Fourtris2002. It is a twilight fanfiction and it's called The Birth Of Dawn: A Twilight Fanfiction. There are only a few chapters at the minute, but it's shaping up to be a brilliant story! I just thought that I'd let you guys know, in case there's some of you out there who are twilight fans and would like to read more of my work. **

**I also want to say thank you the brilliant TheRealPrimroseEverdeen who honestly, gives me so much inspiration to write. I feel like I never say thank you enough to all my readers, especially those who review nearly every chapter! Honestly, I love you all! You're all brilliant fantastic people and I don't know what I would do without you all. Fanfiction is such a community based thing, it honestly means so much when we all support each other through thick and thin. You're all amazing!**

**As always, if you would like to review, please feel free. ;-) **

**Love to you all, and hopefully, I'll be back with another chapter soon!**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	38. Pain And Pleasure

**Author's note: Hi everyone, how are you? I'll keep this short and sweet since most of my author's notes are super long! I hope you like the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I own nothing from the Hunger Games series. It is the property of the fantastic Suzanne Collins. **

_I hug my sister tightly, for once feeling hopeful about the future. _

Chapter 38

Water sprays down around me, warm and comforting. I love being in the shower. It's one place where I can forget myself, my problems and for a few minutes, be a normal person. Grabbing the bottle of Capitol Factor All-In-One that Octavia gave me, I squirt some purple gel onto my palm, massaging it into my scalp. A delicious berry scent fills the room, reminding me of crisp autumn mornings. I sigh softly, fingers trailing gently through my hair, untangling it, cleansing it. I stick my head under the water, watching the bubbles slide slowly down the drain. I wish I could just stay under the warm water forever, never having to face the world again. But I know I have to get out. Sleep. The thought terrifies me. I bite my lip, turning the water off and wrapping my shivering body firmly under a towel. Holding it tightly to my chest, I shuffle out of the bathroom and into the hallway. My head twists from side to side, watching anxiously for the appearance of Prim or my mother. My wet hair slaps my bare shoulders, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Quickly, I run across the hallway, round the corner opening the door and shutting it firmly. Sighing, I lean across the door, flipping on the light switch.

"Shit!" I yell, holding the towel close to my body. Peeta sits on my sofa, the open window sending a cool draft through the room.

"Hello." He smirks, eyeing me up and down. I clutch the towel so hard, my knuckles turn white.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I hiss angrily, hoping my mother or Prim hadn't heard my shout. Peeta opens his mouth to explain, when there's a quiet knock on the door.

"Katniss?" My mother's voice echoes through the door. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" I reply too quickly, my voice high and shaky. "I just stubbed my toe on the…the door!"

"Are you sure?" My mother asks, her voice filled with concern. "You sound very distressed, would you like me to take a look at it?"

"No, it's okay!" I shout back. "There's no need to come in!"

"Well, I need to talk to you anyway." She replies. "So I'm coming in."

"Hang on a minute, I'm not decent!" I whirl around, Peeta with a horrified expression on his face. My mother's reaction earlier…if she catches him in here, I really wouldn't want to be in his shoes.

"Hide!" I whisper anxiously. Peeta stands up, looking around the room.

"Where?" He hisses back. The closet is in the wall, and it's too small to hide someone as big as Peeta. It's too much of a risk to hide him behind the sofa and hope that my mother doesn't see him. I glance over at my bed, hidden by thick teal curtains.

"Bed." I tell him. He grins, waggling his eyebrows.

"Yes Ma'am!" I glare at him.

"Peeta, not the time!" I hustle him into the alcove, pulling the curtains across firmly so it is hidden from view. I rush to my closet and pull on a pair of shorts and a top, hoping they're pajamas. "Okay I'm decent!" I yell to the door. My mother walks in, rolling her eyes.

"Honestly, Katniss, I gave birth to you. Do you really think I care if I see you naked?" I sigh. Just because she's fine with people being nude, doesn't mean I have to be.

"I care." I retort, then shut my mouth because I can't be bothered to start another argument. "Anyway, what do you want to talk about?" My mother takes me by the hand and leads me to the sofa. She sits down next to me, taking my hand in hers, gripping it tightly.

"Well, I was planning on talking to you about this anyway, I have been trying to do so for a while but I haven't really had the opportunity. Now that you and Peeta are together, it's become very important." I internally cringe. Here we go, and I have no escape. Then I remember that Peeta is hiding behind me and can probably hear every word. I blush bright scarlet, trying to wriggle out of her grasp.

"Can we discuss this another time, Mother? It's just that now's not really a good time."

"Why not?" She asks.

"Well, I'm very tired, you know I haven't been sleeping well and I really would like to get an early night." I babble on, trying any excuse I can think of. My mother just stands there, her arms crossed over her chest.

"I see." She interrupts me. "Well, if that's the case, we will talk about this in the morning."

"Really?" I ask hopefully. My mother rolls her eyes.

"No!" She snaps. "I wasn't born yesterday. I'm not giving you time to sneak out for the day. No, we're going to talk about this and we're going to talk about it now." Sighing, I slump back down onto the sofa, praying that Peeta isn't listening. "I'm going to keep this short and sweet. I'm not going to tell you what you can and can't do. You're almost an adult and I'm going to let you make your own decisions and mistakes. All I ask, is that you tell me if you plan to be intimate with anyone." I cringe.

"Why?" I ask. My mother smiles wryly.

"I was young once. I know what it's like to want to be with someone. You've probably seen a lot of women get pregnant very young. It happens because the Capitol doesn't provide protection for the Districts. Of course, the ways here to prevent pregnancy are rather limited but there are ways. If you tell me, I can try and get you some things to help prevent pregnancy. I'm not saying it'll mean that you won't become pregnant, but it will decrease the risk. I know you don't want to have children Katniss." I sit up, staring at my mother.

"You'd do that…for me?" I ask, shocked. My mother smiles.

"Of course I would Katniss. You're my daughter. I don't like the idea of you being intimate with anyone, but if the situation happens, I want you to be safe." Even though I'm feeling slightly sick, I'm so grateful that my mother would take risks like that for me.

"Thank you." I reply quietly. "I'll let you know." My mother smiles and nods.

"Well, I'll let you sleep. You must be tired. Are you sure you don't want one of my remedies?" I shake my head.

"They make it worse." I say. She smiles sadly, kissing me lightly on the cheek.

"Goodnight Katniss." Then she leaves the room, shutting the door. I let out a sigh of relief. Peeta emerges from the curtains.

"I thought she was never going to leave!" I laugh, catching him in a tight hug. I relish the feeling of his arms around me. Peeta chuckles. "Why are you here?" I ask.

"I wanted to see if you were okay, after earlier." He replies, nuzzling my cheek. I can't help but smile.

"I think we're okay now." I murmur. "We talked and everything's going to be fine. I think."

"Well, at least she's given us her blessing to be _intimate._" He grins as I cringe, my cheeks streaked with crimson.

"You heard that?" I groan, pulling away from him and burying my face in my hands.

"Of course I heard." He takes a hand under my chin, tilting my face up so I have to look at him. "Don't be embarrassed. I think it's cute that your mother is so protective." I roll my eyes.

"She thinks I'm so innocent." I grin. "What would she think if she knew you were in here?" Peeta smirks.

"She'd think that I was a bad influence on her innocent daughter." I smile, looping my arms around his neck.  
"I think I'm the bad influence round here." He raises an eyebrow, before leaning down to kiss me. I smile into the kiss, molding my lips to his. We kiss for what feels like forever and when we break apart I trace my lips with my finger, my skin tingling. Suddenly, I'm sick of just kissing. I want more. What I want, I don't know, but whatever it is, I want to feel more than just his lips on mine. His arms still around my waist, Peeta spins me round and starts walking backwards until my knees hit the bed and I fall, my head landing on the mountain of soft pillows.

"You're so beautiful." Peeta murmurs above me. I smile at the compliment. He's so biased. His lips leave mine, trailing to my neck. The second his lips touch my neck, I arch upwards, exposing more of my skin to him. He groans quietly and the vibrations go through me, sending a shiver down my spine. This is more. God, this is more. My eyes close and I can't stop a sound escaping my lips, wild and wanton. He trails kisses down my neck, stopping at the point between my neck and my shoulder. As he sucks the skin, my back arches again, and his name comes out as a breathy whisper. He chuckles against my skin, then comes back up to my lips, capturing me in a passionate, heart-stopping kiss. I sigh, leaning back further into the pillows, my head spread out around me. It feels natural to let my legs to slide open, to let him nestle between them as he kisses me. I feel so dizzy, almost drunk from the feeling that his kisses bring. "Wait." Peeta groans, his eyes almost black, his voice husky and deep. "We need to stop."

"Why?" I mean to ask the question calmly, but it sounds more like a whine. Peeta smiles, his fingers tracing my cheek.

"We've only been together a few days, and we're making out. I thought you wanted to take things slow?" I roll my eyes.

"Yeah I did, but I've changed my mind now. I want you to kiss me again!" I whine. He chuckles, planting a chaste kiss on my swollen lips, a million miles away from what he was doing a minute ago. I wrap my arms around him again, trying to bring him closer.

"Katniss." He warns and I sigh, pulling away from him and rolling away from him, feeling hurt. "Katniss?" He repeats, leaning over me. I turn my head away. He sighs. "I want you." He murmurs. "So much, it's killing me. But you deserve more than this. You deserve romance, candles, privacy. I want to give you that." I sigh, turning back to him. He smiles. "I do want you." He repeats. "You don't know how long I've wanted you."

"Peeta, it's getting creepy." I warn him and he laughs, pulling me into a tight embrace. He plants a kiss on my head, then gets off the bed, trying to smooth his rumpled clothing. I walk him over to the window, sharing one last, unbearably sweet kiss. Then he's gone and I'm alone. I go back to bed, flopping down onto the rumpled sheets. My fingers trail the path of his kisses. A shiver runs down my spine. I sigh. I'm never going to sleep now. Slowly, I get under the covers, trying to sleep. My mind just keeps replaying this evening, and my mind is filled with him. His smile, his eyes, his kiss, it swirls round and round in my mind until it's all I can think about. I close my eyes, trying to put Peeta out of my mind. I hate that I'm so vulnerable now. I used to be so strong on my own, now I just can't seem to function like a normal person without him. I roll my eyes irritably, settling down to sleep.

_We're stood at the top of the Cornucopia, the night air freezing my extremities. Peeta and I huddle together, waiting for the announcement that never comes. Suddenly, President Snow materializes in front of my eyes, dressed impeccably in a white suit, white shirt and white shoes. A white roses peeks out of his lapel, the petals stained crimson with blood. It drips down his suit into a puddle at his feet. _

"_Well, well, well Miss Everdeen. We seem to have reached an impasse." He chuckles menacingly, leering towards me. I clutch Peeta tightly, taking a step backwards and dragging him with me. _

"_What do you want?" I hiss, my voice dripping with distain and hate. _

"_I want a Victor." He replies, his voice and expression impassive, not giving anything away. "We both won!" I shout, my voice echoing on the empty plain. "That was the deal!" _

"_Oh my dear Miss Everdeen, you should know that I never make deals." He grins, teeth flashing white. His snake-like eyes stare at me, arrogance making them dance. I resist the urge to stab him through the heart and watch him die. "It seems to me that you won't make a choice. So I'll make it for you." He laughs. Then he disappears, only leaving the pool of blood where he stood. _

"_Katniss." Peeta groans, his grimy bandages splattered with blood. _

"_Peeta, you'll be okay!" I tell him firmly, shaking him to make him look at me. He looks at me, but he looks through me, like he can't see me. "Everything will be okay. We're both going to win. We'll both go home." _

"_That's bullshit and you know it." He murmurs, clutching his leg and wincing as he chuckles. Carefully, I pull Peeta down so that we're both sitting on the Cornucopia, the cold hunk of metal numbing my bottom. Peeta leans heavily against me, too weak to support his weight. What am I doing? President Snow is forcing me to choose. Peeta has to live. He's good, so inherently good that it would be evil to let him die. Tears form in my eyes as I turn his face and kiss him, my tears running into the kiss. _

"_Goodbye Peeta." I whisper. Suddenly, he sits up, taking hold of me. _

"_What are you doing?" His eyes widen when he realizes my plan. "Katniss, I can't let you die for me!" He howls. _

"_You can go home!" I tell him, dragging my hand over my face to get rid of the tears. "Remember me Peeta." I kiss him one last time, and then shove him off me, jumping off the Cornucopia before he can stop me. I wish it was tall enough that the impact would kill me but of course, the audience wants a show. If they want a show, they're going to get a fucking show. _

"_C'mon then!" I yell to the sky. "Finish me off!" Silence. The wind whistles through the plain, whipping through my tangled hair. I stand there, bold and defiant to the end, my mockingjay pin glinting as the sun begins to rise. I turn away from Peeta, unable to look at his face any longer. I bring my knife, Clove's knife out of my pocket. I look at it, the jagged edges glinting. Can I do it? Can I willingly kill myself? I allow one last glance back at the Cornucopia. I have to, for Peeta's sake. I hold the knife up high, closing my eyes. I pray it will be swift, that I will feel no pain. I say goodbye to my family, to my friends. I say thank you to Haymitch, for keeping us alive. Thank you to Cinna, the prep-teams, for making us memorable. Thank you to Effie, for helping us win. Peeta…his face swirls in my mind and my resolve hardens. I'm doing this for him. I open my eyes and look around at my surroundings, the place where I will die. I'm dying with dignity, by my own choice. My rules. Suddenly, the knife flies out of my hands. Peeta is there, the knife now in his hand. _

"_I can't let you die for me!" He shouts. "I'm dying anyway! You deserve to live Kat, and I want you to live life to the full, a husband, kids, everything. I want you to wake up every morning, thankful for life. Just…remember me." He plunges the knife deep into his heart, ripping the bandage off his leg, letting the blood pour out. He collapses on the ground while I watch in horror, my plan gone horribly wrong. _

"_No!" I scream, the sound wrenching from some deep hidden part inside of me. It is a cry of anger, a cry of help, and a cry of grief. I stumble over to him, to help him, but it's too late. He is still, cold. He is gone…_

I awake to a gut-wrenching scream echoing through the house.

**Author's Note: What a nightmare! I hope you enjoyed the chapter guys. I know it's taken me a while to update, but it always does! As usual, thanks to the gorgeous TheRealPrimroseEverdeen for being awesome and thanks to my never ending supply of songs that help me write. Without my music, I would be nothing. I'd publish a playlist for you guys, but the list would be so long that I think it would be pointless! ****Anyway, please leave a review, I haven't had many in a while and it would be really nice to hear what you guys think. I love suggestions and comments so if want to, feel free to PM me about anything! See you guys soon!**

**Love, **

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	39. The Long Road To Recovery

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! Thank you so much for the overwhelming response for the last chapter! I have to admit, I was worried that you would feel that Katniss and Peeta are moving too fast, but they've been around each other for a long time. It felt right. You guys seemed to like it too, which is awesome. Thank you! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing from the Hunger Games franchise. It is the property of the magnificent Suzanne Collins.**

_I awake to a gut-wrenching scream echoing through the house. _

Chapter 39

On Sunday morning, I awake early from yet another nightmare. I sigh. I hate these nightmares that consistently plague me. When will be rid of them? I fear that the answer will be never. Pulling back the duvet cover, I wander over to the mirror hanging on the wall. I stare at my reflection. On the outside, I have never looked better. My olive skin glows, my hair is shiny and my features are well-groomed. On the inside, I am screaming, stifled by this life. Sometimes, I really wish that I could go back to the morning of the Reaping, take up Gale's suggestion and run away with him. Gale. The thought of him stops me short. I last saw him a week ago, at the Harvest Festival. It seems like a lifetime ago. I trace the dark circles under my eyes, the only feature on my face that implies everything isn't perfect. Glancing out of my window, I watch as the sun rises over the woods. My heart fills with longing. I haven't been to the woods in days. Rushing over to my closet, I dress quickly in trousers and a long sleeved black t-shirt. I re-braid my hair, twisting it into a bun and tucking it underneath a woolen hat. Quietly, I sneak downstairs, remembering at the last minute to write a note for my mother, explaining where I am. As I walk into the hallway, Buttercup hisses angrily at me from the doormat. I scowl at him, resisting the urge to throttle him. I sit on the bottom step, pulling on my boots and my father's jacket. When I open the door, Buttercup shoots out growling at me. He stares at me, his bright green eyes unforgiving and full of hatred. I stare him down. I'm not afraid of a stupid cat. After a long moment, he lets out another hiss, scampering away from me towards the sleeping town. I think he's going back to our old house in the Seam. I think that's the only thing we have in common. We both wish that we still lived in the Seam.

Starting up a steady jog, I make my way towards town, skirting around the merchant shops and keeping close to the edge of the fence. Normally, I'd worry about someone spotting me, but no-one is up and I look so unlike myself that I don't think anyone would recognize me. Even so, I breathe a sigh of relief as I wiggle under the fence. As soon as I'm hidden in the depths of the woods, a feeling of peace comes over me. I lean against a tree, closing my eyes, letting my body absorb the sensations surrounding me. The wind whistling through the trees, the faint whistling of birds, the rough bark underneath my palm. I sigh quietly. I have really missed this. I make my way to where I stash my bow, the ground slightly boggy from the recent rainfall. Carefully, I tug my bow and arrows out of the tree stump, pulling my quiver over my shoulder and grasping my bow in my right hand. I wander down a path, one of many that have been created by years of treading on the ground. I avoid stepping on the dried leaves, knowing that it will scare away nearby game. After a few minutes of walking, I spot a trio of pheasants strutting near a bush. I switch to hunter mode, walking more quietly, lowering my heart rate and breathing. A few meters away I crouch behind a tree, waiting. I hear their irritating squabbling and I take a slow deep breath in and out. Turning to face the birds, I carefully notching an arrow to my bow. I draw the string to my cheek, the thrill of the hunt singing through my veins. I take a deep breath and as I exhale, I realize the string, the arrow flying forward and burying it's self in the eye of the nearest pheasant. It collapses to the ground letting out a pathetic gargle. I grin, hurriedly attaching another arrow and letting it fly into a second pheasant. It's dead before it knew what was happening. The third pheasant hurries away squawking wildly and I decide to let it go free. After all, two out of three isn't bad. I dig out a rope, tying the birds together by their feet, then attach them to my belt. I carry on into the woods, hoping to find the last of the summer greens before winter. As I walk, I realize that I'm on the snare line that Gale and I set up together. I spot a trap hanging from a tree, a fat rabbit swinging in the air, away from the predators. I hurry over to it, checking that the animal isn't alive. It looks like it has been dead for a while, too long for it to be of any use to anyone. I decide to cut it down and bury it. It's been here so long that even wild dogs wouldn't eat it now. As my fingers touch the wire, a sharp voice rings out behind me.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing? Get your mucky paws off my snare!" Gale shouts and he grips me by my shoulders, swinging me round to face him. As soon as he sees my face, his hands wrench off me, falling lifelessly to his sides. "Katniss!" He says. "What are you doing here?" My head tilts up to look at him, my heart pounding in my chest. He looks like a broken man. Grimy skin from the mines, hair uncombed, his normally bright grey eyes dull and lifeless.

"I…I'm getting some things for the Hob." Gale frowns, his thick eyebrows knitting together.

"So you thought you'd steal from my snares? I never thought you'd stoop that low." Then he takes a step back, the anger leaving his face. "Sorry," He murmurs quietly. "I shouldn't have said that."

"You shouldn't have said a lot of things." I tell him snappily, freeing the rabbit and setting it onto the forest floor. Gale's head snaps up, his eyes alight with rage.

"I shouldn't have said things? Katniss, they needed to be said! After all, it's the truth!" I take a step back, putting more space between us. My hand grasps my bow tighter, ready to defend myself if necessary.

"Is that what you think?" I ask. "That I'm a Seam slut? That I spread my legs for every man?" Gale stares at me, his eyes wide.

"I went too far then. I was angry!" He protests. I sigh.

"You had every right to be." I admit. "I understand why you were angry. I, unknowingly, lead you on for years, and then came back all over another man. I get it. But you could have handled it a lot better. For months, you've been terrorizing me at every opportunity!" Gale slumps against a tree, his eyes dark as he stares at the floor.

"I'm so sorry." He says quietly. "I was so angry Catn…Katniss. All the time, I was thinking about you, rooting for you. I even…I had a plan to tell you how I felt if you came back. I tried to tell you in the Justice Building, but I ran out of time. Then you won and came back with _him_, and he was all over you. I was so angry. I knew you didn't want it, I knew that your feelings weren't real! I knew that I still had a chance. I tried so many times to not let my anger get the better of me, I knew that if I could calmly explain then you'd understand, that you'd fall into my arms. But I never got the chance. I messed it up every time and I know that. I'm sorry." I'm stunned at his apology. For the first time, I'm sort of seeing things through a different prospective. I'm not excusing his actions but now, I'm beginning to see the motives behind them. I sigh. All of this is my fault. If I hadn't lead Gale on…I know I didn't realize I was doing it but really…what did I expect? I thought that what we had was friendship, now I'm beginning to see that Gale saw that in a different light. None of this would have happened if I hadn't been so naive.

"Well I-" I start to interrupt him but he shushes me, continuing on.

"Then at the Harvest Festival, I really thought that it would be my chance. I had some alcohol to calm my nerves, and I regret it. My anger…it took over me. I can't even remember what I said or did. But I remember you kicking me, leaving me on the ground. I was so hurt. In my mind, you were just denying the truth; you didn't want to face up to your feelings. Somehow, I'll never know how, I got back to the Festival. I saw you…on the TV with him. At first, I thought you were acting. Then I looked at your face as you danced with him. That was when I knew…I knew that I'd lost you." Gale stared at his shoes, faded with age. I bit my lip.

"I'm sorry Gale. You and me…It was never going to happen. We're too alike. Never once have I ever thought of you as anything more than a friend, a brother. But you've severed those ties. You ruined our friendship. I don't like the person you've become Gale. What happened to the fourteen year old boy in the forest, trying to protect his family?"

"I grew up." He replied shortly. "So did you Katniss. Life isn't a game and we can't make-up stories and pretend to be adults. Not anymore." Anger races through me. How dare he lecture me about growing up?

"I've been in the Games." I retort, my face flushing with anger. "That makes you grow up faster than working in the mines." He looks like he's about to reply, but then he stops himself sighing.

"Perhaps you're right. We argue too much." The rage dissipates, and I can't help but crack a smile.

"I'd better go." I say quietly, kicking some dead leaves underneath my boots. "I want to go to the Hob and try and get a trade." Gale looks up, an eager expression on his face.

"D'you want me to come with you?" I bite my lip, shaking my head slightly.

"Perhaps that isn't the best idea." I say as gently as I can, turning to walk away. A hand on my arm stops me. Wrenching it out of his grasp, I pull away from him, putting space between us. Gale stares at me, looking horrified. He looks down at his hand, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Katniss…" The desperation in his voice makes me turn, makes my stomach churn with guilt. "Can't we at least be friends? I promise, I won't try and pursue you anymore. I'm done with getting my heart broken. Please, can't we make this work?" Rocking back and forth on my heels, I deliberate over his words. I would love to have our easy, casual friendship back, but I think that is only something that can be achieved with time. Right now, I think everything is too raw, too painful. Sighing, I look into his eyes, his grey eyes, his Seam grey eyes, hating myself for hurting him again.

"I don't think that right now, it would work. In time, maybe. This isn't something that can be solved in a day, Gale. I really do appreciate your apology and I know that in time, you'll find someone wonderful to share your life with. One day, you'll realize that all this…was a waste of your time. I'll be a waste of your time. But hey, we had a good run right?" I smile, trying to be positive. Gale takes a step forward, his arm outstretched towards me.

"You could never be a waste of time Katniss! Never. I hope you find the courage to tell Peeta how you feel. You two deserve to be happy. We all do." I smile, nodding. I'd tell him about Peeta and I, but this is the first time we've really been communicating in months, and I'm not about to mess this up again. Baby steps.

"I will." Picking up my bow, I turn to walk away. His voice echoes around me as I walk away.

"See you in the woods next Sunday?" I want to say no, but perhaps we may be able to work through our difficulties. It'll probably good for us. And after all, we always did hunt better together than alone.

"Sure!" I shout back. I hear his chuckle as I start up a steady jog, my boots kicking up the foliage on the forest floor. The leaves fly up around me, showering me in shades of gold, red and brown. I laugh picking a stray leaf out of my hair and throwing it behind me. Wrapping my jacket tighter around me, I smile as the first signs of the District come into view on the horizon.

**Author's Note: See, Gale's not inherently evil after all! Everything he does is for a reason! Still, I'm glad that they've started to make up, since I hope now that I won't get so many messages from Gale lovers, who haven't really been that happy with me. I get it, and I love Gale as much as the next girl, but it is fun to explore his angry side. I think now his days as the 'bad guy' may be over now. Still, I wonder how Peeta will react when he finds out that they've started to patch up their friendship? Let me know in a review! I love love love getting them and they always inspire me to write faster. As usual, thank you to TheRealPrimroseEverdeen, she's such an amazing, beautiful and wonderful person, I really don't know what I'd do without her. So I guess I'll see you around guys, I love you all!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	40. Don't Say You Love Me

**Author's Note: Hiya guys. I know it's been such a long time since I updated, but real life's been so crazy at the minute that I haven't even had time to think about writing! Still, I've got a whole day free so I'm hoping that something will come out of it. Enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing from Hunger Games. It belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

_Wrapping my jacket tighter around me, I smile as the first signs of the District come into view on the horizon. _

Chapter 40

The next day, my mother asks me to go shopping in town. I wish she'd sent Prim. She's so much better at making small talk with the Merchants and just accepting the prices. It's in my nature to negotiate for bargains, I guess. Still, I have to remember that I have enough money to buy out an entire shop if I wanted to. I spend the whole afternoon trailing round the shops and by the time I return home, it's nearly dark. I sit at the table, ravenously shoveling down stew. Prim and my mother chat as they eat, but I don't really pay attention, too hungry to care.

"Kat?" Prim questions, her hand on my arm. My head twists to look at her, all my senses searching anxiously for danger. When I realize it's just Prim, I relax, smiling at her.

"What is it?" I ask, dipping my spoon into the pheasant stew that my mother made. It's delicious; meaty, tangy and perfect. If we still lived in the Seam, it would be the meat in a thin sauce, mostly consisting of water. Now my mother can afford all sorts of spices in town, even I must admit that it makes the food a hell of a lot better.

"I think they're airing the show tonight!" Prim exclaims excitedly. The show? What show? Then I remember, the reality show that we filmed for a month. I sigh. This is going to be so embarrassing. I can't not watch it because it's mandatory viewing and I can almost guarantee that there will be Peacekeepers crawling the streets, making sure that everyone is in their homes.

"How are you excited about this? It's just me and Peeta on TV, that's nothing new!" I say. Prim laughs.

"You're my sister Katniss; I just can't believe that you're so famous now!" I roll my eyes.

"I am not famous," I mutter, staring down at my nearly empty plate. "Neither is Peeta." My mother raises her eyebrows.

"I wouldn't be too sure." She replies, standing up and taking her plate to the sink, rinsing it before setting it on the side to clean properly later. "When I went into the Seam the other day, you're all anyone seems to talk about. Mostly it's speculation about whether you really love Peeta." My eyebrows knit together in frustration. Why does no-one believe my feelings for Peeta?

"Of course I like Peeta!" I exclaim, standing up and angrily slamming my empty plate onto the counter.

"Katniss!" My mother shouts. "I understand your frustration, but please don't take it out on my plate! Now I suggest that you sit in the living room with Prim and I, we will all watch the show together. Heaven forbid that the Peacekeepers come calling and find that you're not with us." Sighing, I march off to the sitting room, slumping down on one of the sofas, leaning my elbow against the armrest. Prim comes in a minute later, sitting next to me and snuggling into my side. Glancing down at her face, I feel my anger ebb away. I envy her. She's seen so much, yet she still has such an optimistic and innocent view of the world. I wish I could be like that. My mother comes in, settling down on her armchair, her knitting needles clicking away in the lamplight. Prim turns on the TV, leaning her head against my shoulder. I stroke her golden hair softly, kissing the top of her head. Suddenly, the anthem of the Capitol blares out and then Caesar Flickerman is there, his hair now died a metallic green, strands shining in the bright lights of the studio. He's sat casually on a sofa, the same small loveseat Peeta and I sat on for our Victor's interview. He grins at the camera, teeth flashing.

"Hello Panem!" He smiles, waving cheekily at us all. The audience behind the camera goes wild, screams and cheers almost deafening us all. I can picture them sat there, all candy-coloured wigs and crazy clothes, all oblivious to the poverty of the Districts. It makes me so angry. I want to rant and rave, I want to storm off and smash the TV screen. But I don't. Instead I sit there silently, trying not to show my rage.

"It's starting, it's starting!" Prim chants excitedly, grinning up at me. I fake a smile, pulling her closer. My mother hushes her, as Caesar begins to talk again.

"Now, we have a special treat for you tonight, oh you won't believe what a treat it is! Now I'm sure you all remember our favorite Victors, the Star-Crossed Lovers Of District 12?" The crowd goes wild again; the camera's switching to show the audience. They cheer manically, waving banners and posters with our names and faces on. I stare in shock, awe, horror. I'm not sure how I feel. "Well, because they're both oh so lovely, they allowed us to film a show of them returning home! For a month, we followed them everywhere, seeing what they did, who they spoke to, we have so many exclusives for you all, it's crazy!" I attempt to hold back a snort. _Allowed _them to film us? Yeah, right. I'm about to announce my opinions, when my mother looks at me sharply, then glances down at Prim. Huffing, I sink back into the sofa, crossing my arms across my chest. Caesar talks more about the show, then the screen slowly fades to black. Then Peeta and I, standing in the train entrance way. I see the desperation in my eyes as I reach up to kiss Peeta. My stomach churns with guilt as I remember this day. Peeta had been ill…we'd had an argument. Sharply, I turn my face away from the TV, wishing I could run, run far away from here. But I can't. I'm a wild animal, chained in a prison, begging desperate to be set free. I take a deep breath in, trying to compose myself. I watch us re-uniting with our families, my hug with Prim and my mother. I notice they omitted the argument with Mrs Mellark. Then they show Prim chatting to the camera in her bedroom.

"_So Primrose, are you happy to have your sister home?" The interviewer asks behind the camera. Prim bounces excitedly on the bed, flipping her hair out of her eyes._

"_Of course I am!" She beams, her eyes shining. "Katniss is not only my big sister, but she's also my confident, my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without her."_

I look down at Prim, hugging her. Tears come into my eyes when I think about what she said. I never knew I was so important to her. Prim kisses my cheek, then settles back down to watch the show.

"_Are you happy that Katniss has found someone to love?" They ask. Prim smiles, clutching a cushion to her chest. _

"_I'm so happy for her. She's been alone for so long now, she deserves someone who can look after her, and stop her from doing anything stupid!" She giggles, trailing her fingers through a strand of hair. "I've not met Peeta yet, but I know that he will be perfect for her. Everytime you see them together, you can see how much they love each other, you'd have to be blind not to see it! Even if they've not said 'I love you' yet, they do love each other. I hope that they'll make each other happy." _

Then the screen switches to the next scene. It's the first scene we properly filmed. Peeta and I walk into Victor's Village, talking about returning home. We sound so formal, so strained, so unlike ourselves. I don't want to watch anymore. It's painful when they ask me questions about coming home. Peeta of course is a natural. He banters back and forth with the interviewer, cracking jokes and making the audience smile. They ask him about his feelings towards me, and what he says melts my heart.

"_Katniss…There isn't enough words in the world to describe Katniss. She's everything I want, everything I need. She's stunningly beautiful, that goes without saying, but she's more than that. She's smart, caring, selfless. There are so many sides to Katniss, so many sides that you will probably never get to see. But I hope I'll be the first one to see them all." _

Finally, the camera shows us, that desperate kiss in the rain, the first kiss that really made my toes curl with delight and sending shivers down my spine. Then the Capitol anthem blares out once more and Caesar appears again, making light-hearted jokes about us. Then he tells us all to watch next week, then the TV goes static, making horrible noises. Prim switches it off, and all three of us sit in silence.

"May I be excused?" I ask my mother, my voice strained. She nods and I escape into the cool hallway, leaning against the wall. I let out a breath that I didn't realize I'd been holding. Sighing, I trudge up the stairs to my room, wandering aimlessly to the window. I open it and take a deep breath in, the icy wind lodging in my throat and threatening to choke me.

"Katniss?" Peeta's voice echoes through the darkness. He's at his window, staring at me with concern. "What's up?" That's when I break down. My legs buckle beneath me and I collapse into the window seat, burying my face in my hands. My body shakes and quivers like an earthquake as the wind whips through me, sending a chill through my body. Then he's there. I don't know how he got in without my mother seeing, but that doesn't matter now. All that matters is that he's here, his arms around me, pulling me close.

"Peeta…" I whisper. "Why can't this all be a dream? Why can't I wake up and it's before the reaping and I was still a normal girl from the Seam?" Peeta sighs, resting his head against my hair.

"I don't know." He murmurs. "Sometimes, I wish things were that way too. But if there's one thing I've learnt, you can't change the past. No matter what's happened or what you've done, you just have to be resilient, to get up and carry on with life no matter what it throws at you." I drag my hands through my hair, sighing.

"Everything's so hard, Peeta. I'm tired of it. I'm done trying to carry on. Everything's changed, I don't like it. I don't even feel like me anymore." I look up at Peeta, who looks away from me, biting his lip.

"Not everything that has changed is bad." He replies.

"Like what?" I question bitterly, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Well, you're not in poverty anymore, your family is safe and happy and…you've got me. Face it, if you didn't volunteer, and I wasn't reaped, we'd never be together. I would always be too shy to talk to you and I'd marry someone else and regret it forever, or I'd not marry at all and I'd die alone, probably surrounded by cats." I can't help but laugh at that.

"You would not end up a crazy cat guy Peeta. You're too loveable. You'd find someone. It's me who would die alone." Peeta shakes his head, grinning.

"You wouldn't die alone either! You'd probably have your family and Gale by your side." I roll my eyes.

"That would never happen. Me and Gale, I mean. I don't want kids, I don't want marriage. He wants those things and I could never give him that. He'd get bored. I mean, what guy would want to be in a relationship if he couldn't sleep with his partner?" Peeta smirks, waggling his eyebrows.

"There are other things to do than just sex Katniss." Instantly, a blush blooms across my cheeks. Other things? What does he mean? How does Peeta know about this? I swear he knows what I'm thinking, as he quickly explains. "I have two older brothers, who often brag about their girlfriends and what they do. Let's just say that I've picked up a few tips over the years." My cheeks burn crimson once again.

"Well, right. Erm, okay." I stutter, and he laughs.

"Maybe one day, I'll have to teach you." He says, his voice low in the silence of the night. My jaw drops and I stare at him, open mouthed. He laughs, placing a kiss on my forehead. "Only joking Katniss." Then he grins, standing up and pulling me to my feet. "But the offer's there if you want to take it." I shove him good-naturedly, then wrap my arms around his neck.

"Thanks for cheering me up." I push his hair back from his face, loving the feel of silk in my fingertips. He smiles softly, gazing deep into my eyes.

"Anytime you need me, I'm here for you. You know that right?"

"Mm-hm." I mutter as he buries his face in my neck, planting a soft kiss on my shoulder that makes my bones tremble. "And, I'm here for you - anytime you - need me." I feel his lips curve against my sensitive skin, the heat of his lips radiating through my body. "Peeta!" I gasp, trying to pull him away from me neck. "Kiss me." I demand, reaching up and fusing my lips with his. He wraps his arms tighter around me, holding me in comforting, protective embrace. I feel myself being lifted off the floor and my legs wrap around his waist, clinging to him. When we break apart, my lips are swollen, my heart is racing wildly and I feel like I'll never breathe normally again.

"Do you want me to stay?" He asks; thumb tracing the curve of my cheekbone. Sighing, I take a step backwards.

"I don't think that's a good idea, do you? I don't want to get caught." Peeta raises his eyebrows.

"I never thought I'd see the day. Katniss Everdeen playing by the rules? Who are you and what have you done with the real Katniss?" I roll my eyes, laughing.

"Seriously though, Peeta. I don't want Prim to come in and see that." Now Peeta rolls his eyes.

"Katniss, she's not a little girl anymore. Didn't you see her on the show earlier? She's growing up and I think she wouldn't care at all." Biting my lip, I glance at the closed door and back to Peeta.

"She'll always be a little girl to me." I reply. "I held her in my arms when she was born. I helped to change her and bath her and dress her. I played with her in the dirt. I fed her when no-one else was able to. I protected her. She still needs protection!"

"No, she doesn't." Peeta says firmly. "Katniss, you can't shelter her forever. She's a young woman now, who's growing up. One day, you'll have to face up to that, whether you like it or not." I'm about to retort angrily but Peeta steps away, holding his large hands up in defense. "Okay, okay, I've got the message. I won't stay. If you want to hide behind Prim, that's your choice. See you later Katniss." Before I can stop him, he's out of the window and has disappeared before I can even blink. I rush to the window, yelling his name. He doesn't even look back. Then a door slams and all the lights in his house go off. I want to go after him and apologize. But he's moving too fast for me! I'm not ready to sleep together and move in with him, let alone marry him! Oh God, I can't do this. I'm not ready. I know I'm not. I had doubts before, but now I'm surer than ever. I can't do this. I really can't.

**Author's Note: That was a bit of a sad ending! I promise, I didn't intend for it to go that way but as they say, the course of true love never runs smooth! Still, they'll work it out eventually. Hopefully! Even though he will never read this, I must thank Ed Sheeran for his beautifully inspiring music because without it, I don't think this chapter would have ever been written! I hope real life doesn't get too busy again but I can't really promise anything. You know what I'm like. Leave a review as they make me want to update faster and I love hearing all your feedback. See you guys soon!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	41. Ready Or Not?

**Author's Note: Hi guys. I know it's been a long time, but I've got a lot of exams at the minute so I'm spending all my time studying instead of writing. Sorry! I can only promise sporadic updates for a while, at least until my exams are over. I hope that doesn't disappoint you. But stick with me, I'll make it worth your while I promise. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing that belongs to the Hunger Games. It all belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

_I really can't._

Chapter 41

The next few days, I try to avoid everyone whilst I think things through. I wake up early from the nightmares, escape to the woods and stay there all day, only coming back when it's getting dark. Then, I eat my tea, and stay up as late as possible, watching crappy TV shows from the Capitol or reading. Mostly, I stay up so late that I only sleep because I'm exhausted. I hope it will keep the nightmares away. It doesn't. Nearly every morning, I wake up a sweaty mess, grotesque images dancing before my eyes.

On Thursday morning, I leave the house before the sun has risen. Quickly, I dress in a thick jumper and trousers, pulling on a warm coat. The material is soft and doesn't irritate my skin. I never had a proper coat before becoming a Victor; I only had my father's jacket and mother's hand knitted scarves that never seemed to keep out the cold. As soon as I open the door, a merciless iced wind whips through me. Shivering violently, I pull the hood up, bravely venturing out into the blustery autumn day. There's no point going to the woods today, but I won't stay around Victor's Village and be interrogated by my mother. I don't really want to see Peeta either. I'm the biggest coward around, and I know it. I should just tell him how I'm feeling, but I don't want to. I'm sure that if I just give him space, he'll realize that he's much better off without me. I need him, but he sure as hell doesn't need me. As I walk past his house, I hope that the fact it's still dark means he can't see me from the window. I know I shouldn't look, but I can't help it. His kitchen light is on, a soft yellow glow radiating through the darkness. I see him with a large ball of dough, kneading it so roughly, you can almost hear the thud it makes onto the counter. He looks up for a second, and I run, hoping he hasn't seen me. I'm almost out of Victor's Village when someone calls my name.

"Katniss!" I turn, only to see Haymitch stumbling out of his house in just a shirt, covered in a nasty-looking brown stain. I stop and face him, sighing.

"What do you want?" I raise an eyebrow. He rushes up to me, shivering, but with a determined look on his face.

"We need to have a chat Sweetheart, that's what I want." I roll my eyes, digging my freezing hands into my pockets.

"Can't it wait till later, Haymitch? I need to go to town." Haymitch looks at me, a shaggy eyebrow quirked up humorously.

"You don't need to go to town Sweetheart. I've been watching ya for the past three days, scurrying away like ya life depended on it. C'mon." He takes my arm roughly, dragging me into his pitiful excuse for a house. I try to fight against him, but I realize it's useless. He'll only drag me back again. Sighing, I slump down onto one of the armchairs, neatly avoiding a spring that threatens to burst through the faded and cracked leather.

"What's the matter Haymitch?" Slowly, he sits opposite me, picking up a rusty poker and begins to search the remains of the non-existent fire.

"You're what's the matter Sweetheart. You and the boy." I lean back into the armchair, chewing my bottom lip nervously. "He came round 'ere the other day, right, and he had a face like a wet Monday. I ain't seen him this bad since, well since the end of the Games. You two ain't been seen together in days, so I'm guessing you've got summat to do with why he's moping round all in a mardy. So what's going on?" I look at him, wondering where to start. Dropping the poker onto the wooden floorboards, he runs his hand through his greasy, lanky hair, then rests his chin onto the palm of his calloused hand.

"Well, things haven't been great between us recently." I murmur evasively, absent-mindedly tracing circles onto the chair. Haymitch frowns.

"You're gonna need to give me more than that Sweetheart. You two can't afford to be arguin', not so that the people know about it. You know and I know, that a lot o' people's lives depend on you two being fantastically in love, doves and rose petals and all that shit."

"I know, I know." I mutter.

"Well you don't seem to be doing anything about it!" Haymitch shouts. "Katniss, you aren't a stupid girl. I know that you genuinely have feelings for him. I know that he thinks that the sun shines out ya ass. I know that you're afraid about that, because you clearly have huge commitment issues. The thing is, you can't afford to be debating back an' forth. You can't do that Katniss, too many people rely on you." Burying my face in my hands, I try to contain the emotions that are rising in me, trying to prevent that box of emotions from overflowing.

"Don't you think I know all that Haymitch?" I snap, jumping up from the chair and pacing across the grimy floorboards. "That's exactly the problem! He thinks the world of me, but he doesn't see how biased he is! Constantly he tells me how beautiful I am, he reassures me all the time. It's awful!" Haymitch rolls his eyes.

"For fuck's sake Sweetheart, that's the basis of your argument? He's too nice? Well grow up Sweetheart. What do you want, a relationship where he treats you like shit and tells you your worthless? 'Cause I can tell ya now, there are many people in that place that would die to be with someone like him! All you're looking for, is an excuse to end it because you're scared. That's all it is. Well, I suggest that you get ya head out of your ass and apologize to him. All he's done these past few days is wonder what he did wrong. Sounds to me like he didn't do anything. It's not him that's the problem, it's you!" I slump to the floor, my breathing harsh and ragged. Tears spill from my eyes and I wipe them away furiously, determined not to cry.

"I'm sorry!" I burst out, shaking with emotions. There's a long pause, then Haymitch is there with his arm around me. I lean weakly against him, trying to ignore the obnoxious smell of body odor and alcohol. "He doesn't deserve me." I choke out, my voice a broken whisper. "I mean, look at me. I'm a mess. He doesn't deserve that. He needs someone beautiful, smart, kind, all the things I'm not. He deserves the best of everything, and I'm just the worst."

"Katniss…" Haymitch sighs, gently stroking my hair. "You have to stop comparing yourself to everyone. No-one hates you, no-one is judging you. You do it to yourself! But you have to stop, otherwise it'll destroy both you and the boy." Sighing, I sit up, attempting to pull myself together. "Have you thought that maybe, he's a mess too? All us Victors, we're all fucked up in some shape or form. You two need each other. You still have your families, you still have each other. A lot of people don't. You have to live your lives to the full, while you still can.

"You're right," I murmur, standing up and cracking my stiff muscles. "I need to talk to him." Haymitch rolls his eyes.

"Halleluiah, she finally sees the light." He mutters sarcastically. "Now go on, get outta here and talk to him." I smile slightly, slightly nervous at what will come, but I know it's ultimately for the best.

"Thank you." I say, looking him directly in the eye. He nods slightly, warning me not to mess everything up. I turn on my heel and step out into the village, squaring my shoulders. Before I can change my mind, I march up to Peeta's house. I raise my hand to the door, but I pause for a second. Is this really the right thing to do? I bite my lip, torn between storming in and running away. No, I have to face my problems. I'm supposed to be a Victor, brave, fearless, ferocious. Running away again will just make me a coward. My hand shakes, but I knock firmly on the wooden door. It seems to echo around the twelve houses, ricocheting off the walls and coming for me. The sound rings in my ears as I shuffle from one foot to the other, determined not to run away. I wonder if when I leave this house, will it be a good thing or a bad thing. Well, I guess there's only one way to find out. The door slowly creaks open, and Peeta peers out, his hair rumpled and sticking up in places.

"Katniss?" His bloodshot eyes stare at me in shock.

"Hey." I say quietly. "Can I come in?" Peeta gapes at me before nodding slightly, pulling the door more open. He's wearing a large sweatshirt with a hood, the school emblem displayed proudly across the chest. Baggy trousers hide his body and his bare skin glows against the dark clothes he's wearing. He turns and disappears into the house, his name standing out in bright yellow lettering. Slowly, I walk into the house and lock the door, to stop me from escaping. I slip off my boots and hang my coat on the peg, but leave my scarf on. It is autumn after all.

Walking into the living room, I feel the warmth from the fire almost immediately. I drop to my knees before it, holding my frozen fingers out towards the flames. Silently watching the flames dance before my eyes, I hardly hear Peeta coming in.

"Tea?" He asks, his voice formal and quiet. I wince slightly, wishing he would just talk to me normally. Still, I can understand the odd behavior after the way I treated him. I nod slightly, and he presses a steaming mug into my hands. I grip the handle, feeling life flow back into my hand. I take a sip, and it's warm and milky and sweet, just the way I like it. I sigh contentedly, relaxing more. Peeta sits next to me by the fire, but there is a noticeable gap between us. It makes sad that he feels like he can't sit next to me, lest he offends me.

"Peeta." I say, and he looks up avoiding my eyes. "Please, look at me." I beg. "I can't stand it when you're angry with me." His head snaps up, his normally calm eyes blazing, a storm of fury and rage.

"What do you expect, Katniss? I'm not a toy that can be used whenever the mood takes you! I have feelings, and what you did the other day…I can't work out what I did wrong. I've been going round in circles, I've had virtually no sleep, so what's -" He's cut off by my kiss. I press my lips against his, desperate to feel the comfort of his lips against mine. The kiss lasts for a blissful second, then he pushes me away. Rejection stabs me like a knife, sharp and jagged. "You can't distract me with a kiss." He scowls, crossing his arms across his chest. My palms clench into fists and I clutch my jumper, my knuckles turning white with rage.

"That wasn't what I was trying to do! I kissed you because I missed you, you idiot!" Peeta stares at me.

"Really?" He asks disbelievingly.

"Yes!" I burst out. "Of course I missed you, Peeta! Surely, you don't think so little of me that you think I'd be so uncaring." He sighs, looking down at his hands.

"I didn't know what to believe to be honest. I hoped you'd come so we could talk about it." I twirl the end of my braid round my fingers.

"Well, I'm here now." I reply. "It took a few days for me to see sense." I see Peeta about to open his mouth, but I gently place a finger to his lips. "I'm sorry." I say. "It was wrong to treat you so…so horribly. It's just, I'm so scared to be with you. All the time, I compare myself, I berate myself for everything I do. I know how amazing you are, and I also know how fucked up I am. So, sometimes, it's hard for me to just accept that I'm with you. I'm so used to being independent and facing the world alone, that I'm just not used to relying on someone. I've seen so many relationships crash and burn, seen so many sent to the Reaping, that I always swore I'd never get in a relationship. Now I'm in one, sometimes it's difficult to stop myself from lashing out and trying to protect myself." There's a silence in the room, then Peeta hugs me tightly, his strong arms encircling me, protecting me. I bury my face into his shoulder and I feel his hot breath against my ear.

"It's okay," He whispers. "I'm scared too. I've dreamed about being yours for eleven years, I always wonder if it's too much, am I going too fast? Now you're a reality, it's hard for me to remember that you're ever so slightly a flight risk." He chuckles, and I laugh with him. He is right, after all.

"I think we just need to take things slow, and figure it out together." I murmur. "We're never going to be perfect, but I think we can try." I laugh, snuggling against him. The weight that has been holding me down for the past few days seems to have lifted and I feel lighter than air. I unloop my arms from his neck, but his arms are still holding me close. "Peeta, let me go!" I try to wriggle free but he holds me tighter, grinning.

"You should have known better than to embrace an ex-wrestler." He smiles, holding me tighter. I snort with laughter.

"As if you could pin me down." I tease. Peeta quirks an eyebrow, flashing a dazzling smirk that leaves me with no coherent thoughts. He smirks flirtatiously.

"Case and point." He says nodding down at my trapped state. I laugh, letting myself go limp in his arms.

"You love it." I smile coyly, reaching up to caress his strong jawline, which tenses under my fingers.

"You're right," He murmurs, nuzzling my nose. "I do love it." As he bends down to kiss me, his grip loosens, and I quickly wriggle out of his grasp, laughing. Before he can catch me, I dash to the other side of the room. Quickly, Peeta stands up, his eyes flashing with mock anger.

"That wasn't fair!" He protests. I sashay over to him, swinging my hips as I walk. He stares at me, his jaw going slack, leaving his mouth slightly open. I bat my eyelids, attempting to be seductive. Dropping my voice to a husky murmur, I pull the scarf off my neck. His eyes widen, and I slowly walk over to him, looping the red woolen scarf round his neck and pulling him to me. His body crashes into mine and I hold him still, gazing deeply into his eyes. I look up from under my eyelashes, pouting my lips a little as if I'm going to kiss him.

"I'm a Victor, honey. We don't play fair. Shouldn't you know that by now?" I duck, trying to escape his grasp, but he recovers and pulls me back into his arms.

"I do." He says roughly, pulling me down over one knee and kissing me dramatically like they do in those stupid romantic movies made by the Capitol. I expect to feel embarrassed, even slightly stupid, but what I don't expect is for my heart to be nearly stopped by his kiss. When he pulls me up again, I'm dazed and confused, my heart thumping wildly in my chest. "Let me take you on a date." He says. I blink.

"What?" I ask, still dazzled by the kiss.

"Let me take you on a date." He repeats. "I promise, I'll make it worth your while." I smile slowly, the fire crackling softly in the background.

"Okay." I reply and he smiles in return. We kiss again and again, making up for all the lost time.

**Author's Note: Awww they made up! Didn't take much, did it? I think everybody needs a bit of Haymitch now and then to make them see sense. And they're gonna go on a date! Who can't wait to see what Peeta will pull out of the bag? Let me know in a review! **

**Love, **

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	42. Date Night

**Author's Note: Where to start? An apology would probably be good. I'm sorry I haven't been writing. I'm sorry I've not been on Fanfiction and neglected everyone's PM's. I'm sorry that I missed the two-year anniversary of this story because I didn't have any inspiration to write. I'm just sorry, from the bottom of my heart. Thanks for sticking with me guys, I truly appreciate it. I hope 2017 will be better for me, I hope I'll be able to get more writing done instead of sporadic updates. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Hunger Games. It belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

_We kiss again and again, making up for all the lost time._

Chapter 42

Two weeks pass in a blur. I spend time with my Mother and Prim, making up for the two months I was away. I'm still not sure whether my victory was a blessing or a curse. Personally, I see it as a curse, but at least now Prim and Mother are well looked after, there is hot food on the table, good stout boots that will easily last the winter. Judging by the weather recently, it will be a harsh one. Every Sunday, I've started to meet up with Gale, easily falling back into our old routine of hunting together. We're not back to normal, not by a long shot, but I hope we'll get there eventually. I've missed my friend. I don't have too many these days, and I think it's important to hang onto them as much as I can. On Friday evening, Prim and I are watching TV together, a show that mimics life in the Capitol, but makes it more dramatic. I stare at the screen, bored out of my mind, as the couple on the screen scream insults at each other. I roll my eyes. This is the best entertainment that the Capitol has to offer? It's a joke. Suddenly, there's a knock at the door.

"Who could that be?" My Mother wonders from her armchair, pausing in her knitting. "We're not expecting anyone are we, Primrose?" Prim sits up, yawning and stretching.

"Don't think so." She murmurs in reply, snuggling deeper into the cushion. "Go see who it is Kat." Sighing in irritation, I heave myself off the sofa and walk slowly into the hallway. Opening the door, I'm shocked to see Peeta stood there, a single flower in his hand.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him, stunned. He grins, shyly handing me the flower. It's a simple wild flower, probably one of the last of the season. The thought makes me smile, that he didn't go to the florists in town and spend lots of money. He knows I don't like that.

"Well, you agreed to go on a date with me, didn't you Miss Everdeen?" He asks and I blush, looking down at my bare feet.

"I believe I did, Mr Mellark." I reply quietly. He smiles, a light dancing in his light blue eyes.

"Well, would you care to step out with me, and I'll show you what I've planned." I laugh, rolling my eyes at how cute he's being.

"Sure." I reply, dropping the formalities. "Let me just get my coat." I open the door wider to invite him in and he stands just inside the door, cheeks red from the cold. I pull on my coat, poking my head round the door where the TV is still blaring. "I'm going out, Mother. I might not be back until late." My mother turns and looks at me frowning.

"Katniss, it's nearly ten o' clock and it's getting cold. You're not going out." I bite my lip.

"Please, Mother? Peeta has asked me out on a date and I really want to go." My Mother's frown softens into a smile, loaded with memories of my father and their bittersweet past.

"Well, if you're going to be with Peeta, then that's fine. But I want you back before midnight, deal?" I nod, bending down to kiss her on the cheek.

"Thankyou." I whisper, before dashing out of the door before she can change her mind. I pull my coat tighter around my body, shivering a little. I hadn't realized how cold it was getting.

"You okay?" Peeta questions, his hand finding mine in the darkness. Our fingers interlace together and I love the feeling of his hand in mine. It feels like protection. Even though I don't need it, it's nice to know that I have it.

"Yeah, I'm just cold." I reply, moving my body a little closer to mine. "Are we going to be walking far?" Peeta looks a little embarrassed.

"Well, I was going to take you into town, but you're right, it's too far and too cold. This was a stupid idea." He turns around to start walking back and I force him to stop and look at me. I place my hand on his face, making him look into my eyes.

"No, it was really sweet." I tell him honestly. "It's not your fault that the weather is so cold recently. Maybe when it warms up a little, we can do it." He smiles, gazing into my eyes.

"Do you wanna just come to my house to sit by the fire?" He asks. I nod.

"Sounds good." We run to his house and as I walk in, I'm hit with a blast of heat. It's so nice to feel warm. I hang my coat up and sit down on his sofa, watching the flames dance back and forth. I lean my head against a cushion, relaxing my stiff body. Peeta comes in with two glasses and a bottle. I look at him nervously.

"Do you want some? I got some at the Hob today. It's not like what Haymitch drinks." Peeta reassures me. "More like what we had in the Capitol."

"Wine?" I question, remembering the drink I had before I went to the Games. That was when I blurted out knowing about the Avox girl, and Peeta covered for me. It's amazing how many times he's done that, in the past. Peeta nods, pouring some in a glass and handing it to me.

"Just try it. If you don't like it, you don't have to have it. But I think you'll like it." He joins me in the sofa, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I take a sip and it tastes almost sweet. There is still that lingering bitter taste of alcohol, but to my surprise, I do like it. Peeta was right. Then suddenly, he laughs and I look at him startled. Is he going mad? "I've just realized, we hardly know much about each other. I think we should play a game." I smile shocking my head at his spontaneity.

"What kind of game?" I ask cautiously, hoping he won't ask me to play some kind of drinking game. Then I roll my eyes. Peeta's not like that Katniss.

"Twenty Questions?" He suggests and I agree. That's harmless I suppose. Peeta take another sip of his wine. "Remember, you can't pass on a question, or you'll have to do a dare." He reminds me. I laugh.

"Are you making up the dare?" I ask him.

"Of course!" Peeta replies, sounding a little offended. "Why do you seem to think that I'll come up with rubbish dares?"

"Because it's you!" I splutter with laughter. "Let's face it Peeta, you're not exactly known for being a bad boy, are you?" I burst out with giggles when I see his expression. He looks like I've just kicked a puppy.

"Do I need to be more 'bad' to impress you?" He asks, nuzzling my cheek with his nose. I laugh and push him away, trying not to spill my wine.

"No." I whisper, looking up at him. "I like you just the way you are." Then, I kiss him, the wine making me bold. I close my eyes and absorb all the sensations of his lips on mine. His lips taste of the wine, sweet and sharp at the same time. Eventually, I pull away, resting my forehead on his.

"Shouldn't we be playing the game?" Peeta asks after a short silence. I grin, giving him another quick peck on the lips.

"Sure. I'll go first." I pause for a second, trying to think of a good question. "What are three things that make you smile?" Peeta replies very quickly.

"Children laughing, random acts of kindness and you." I blush a little, rapidly drinking my wine to try and stifle it. He sees it anyway and chuckles. "Of course, you make me smile, Katniss, you're beautiful."

"Stop it with the compliments!" I admonish, playfully hitting his arm. Peeta smirks, winking at me, making my heart pound in my chest.

"I'll compliment my girlfriend all I want." I smile, a huge smile creeping onto my cheeks and filling my heart with joy. That's the first time he's ever called me his girlfriend. Another blush blooms on my cheeks, only this is from joy, and not embarrassment. "Just ask me a damn question." I giggle, relaxing more into the sofa.

"Okay, what's your favorite food?" I bite my lip, thinking.

"I'd have to say the lamb stew we had in the Capitol. I have very fond memories of that stew." I sigh, rubbing my stomach at the memory. Peeta grins.

"Remind me to ask Effie to get the recipe the next time I see her. I'll cook it for you." I smile, my heart melting in my chest.

"You'd cook that for me?" I ask, looking up into his eyes.

"Of course!" Peeta tells me. "I promise, I will make you that stew. We can go on a dinner date and eat that." I laugh at the hypothetical situation, the promise of a happy future with Peeta makes me hear sing with joy. I don't worry about what's going to happen, or what could happen, I just let myself live in the moment of now and it feels so nice to let my hair down and act like a normal person every once in a while.

A couple of hours later, we're both laughing hysterically. The wine is almost gone and I can feel my flushed cheeks. Slowly, I sink back into Peeta's side, clutching my stomach trying to contain the laughter that threatens to burst out like an overflowing pipe.

"I can't believe that Rye would do that!" I gasp. "Actually, it's Rye, so I sort of can believe it." Peeta grins.

"Well, he did, and I've never seen Bran so angry in all my life!" I watch him laugh, feeling my heart lift at his joy. It's not often we get to laugh much, not living in District 12 anyway. For a minute, we curl up together in silence, our legs and hands intertwining like the branches of a tree, curved and twisted in nature. I rest my head on his chest, hear his thumping heartbeat beneath my palm.

"Kat." Peeta whispers my name and I look up slowly, the wine clouding my head so that every movement seems slowed down in time.

"Yeah?" I reply, grinning at him.

"Do you know how much I want to kiss you right now?" He asks, his voice deep and his eyes shining with affection. My smile grows even more as my eyebrows raise, sitting up slightly and looking down at him.

"Then kiss me." I whisper. "Kiss me like you've never kissed me before." He smiles, bringing a hand up to gently cup my cheek, pushing some of my dark hair away from my face. His blue eyes look deeply into mine, searching my soul. Then I lean down and our lips connect, first slowly, sweetly and I feel as though I'm flying, my feet never seeming to touch the ground. Then the kiss seems to grow, it becomes more passionate, but still just as intimate as before. I grasp the curls at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to me, as close suddenly doesn't seem close enough anymore. I'm not sure whether it's the wine, or me, perhaps a combination of the two but I seem to want more and more as my mind fogs over like glass on a cold winter's morning, impossible to see through. I sit up more through the kiss, moving my legs so that they're either side of his body and I pull him to more of a sitting position. His hands are firmly on my sides and I grasp them, his rough calloused fingers threading through mine, smooth from the body polish that the Capitol gave me. I move his hands so that he can feel the soft skin of my stomach where my shirt has ridden up. His thumb moves slowly back and forth, creating sensations that I didn't even know I could feel. I kiss him even more, trying to move my body closer to his, wanting more, always more. He leaves my lips and kisses my neck, his thumb still gently sweeping my skin. Against my will, I let out an animalistic moan, my head tilting back with pleasure. I can hardly deal with what's going on, my mind's just so cloudy but all I can feel is Peeta's lips against my neck, the pleasure that such a simple act can bring.

Suddenly, the incessantly loud chime of the clock in the hall makes us break apart, anxiously looking around the room guiltily. I come back to my senses, my cheeks burning in shame. If the clock hadn't announced the new hour, what would have happened? I bite my lip, feeling rational thought return to me. I hope I would have stopped him…no, I know that Peeta would have stopped. He would never, not with alcohol, he wouldn't want it to have been like this. That's assuming that he wants…_that_. I mean, I presume he does, but…Katniss, stop it. Peeta looks at me, his cheeks a little red. He cups my cheek like before, but this time, the intention is different.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" I smile at him, my hand covering his.

"I'm okay." I promise him. "I'm just a little freaked out at how carried away we got there." He grins abashed. His hand comes up to play with his hair, something he does when he's nervous.

"Sorry about that." He murmurs, nimble fingers darting in-between the golden strands. "I, I'm not really sure what happened to be honest." I giggle, then get off his legs and stand up, stretching lazily.

"I should probably be getting home. We don't want my mother to not let me out again, do we?" I tease, opening the door to the hall and shivering at the change of temperature. Pulling on my boats and coat, Peeta does the same, offering to walk me home. I try to stop him, there's really no need for him to venture out into the cold, but he insists, wrapping my arm firmly around his. We walk out into the darkness, the wind still howling viciously like a pack of wild dogs. He walks me to my door, kissing me chastely on the cheek. I close my eyes for a second, embracing the feeling of his smooth lips on my cheek. Then he pulls back, and the moment is gone, stuffing his hands into his coat pockets. Slowly, I push down the metal handle, the coolness of it making me jump. I look deeply into Peeta's eyes silver on sapphire, sapphire on silver.

"Is it bad that I wish I didn't have to leave you?" Peeta asks, his lips curling up a little at the corners, the lines in his forehead deepening. I smile softly.

"No, because I wish the same." I whisper. "Night Peeta." He lifts up my hand and presses his lips to the back of my hand, leaving my skin tingling.

"Goodnight." He replies, ever charming, then turns and walks back down the steps, heading out into the vicious weather back to his home. I watch him leave then walk into the warmth of my home, shutting the door and leaning against the wooden panels, my heart racing under my plaid shirt.

After a few minutes of trying to recover my breath, I bend down and pull off my boots and coat, hanging it on the row of pegs by the door. For a minute, I'm stunned by how much has changed. Before, everything, we had one coat between the four of us, my father's jacket. Now we all have a coat each, either brought from the Capitol or one of the shops in the Merchant sector. Is it better to be rich? Sure, our lifestyle is so…easy now compared to before. But are we happier? I'm certainly not. Our house, ramshackle and tiny, near to falling down but it was ours. It was built by my father and his miner friends, Gale's father included to make it for my mother. It's often how houses are built in the Seam. Everyone contributes to a pot to help pay costs and the miners work on it together. Often, they use materials from other demolished buildings as there's no way that new materials could be bought with tiny contributions. But still, the homes are ours. Of course we have to pay rent to Cray for the land, but the homes are ours. They were built by us, with wood from District 7 and stone from District 2. They do not belong to the Capitol. They're ours. These homes, Victor's Village, is just one large, decadent symbol that we are never truly free. That no matter what we do, we will always belong to the Capitol. We are their creatures, free to mold and shape as they please, then discard us when we no longer matter. We are all just cogs in a machine, turning and turning, then when we die, we stop. We're thrown out of the machine and another cog takes your place. That's just how life works in Panem. It makes me sick.

"Katniss?" My mother looks at me concerned from the living room door, her blonde hair falling softly into her eyes. She pushes it away with impatient fingers, milky blue eyes focusing on me. "I thought I heard you come in…Are you alright?" She questions with concern. I force myself off the bottom step and smile, hugging her gently.

"Of course I'm alright. I had a lovely time." I reassure her.

"You just looked lost in thought that's all." She replies, biting her lip.

"I was just thinking about tonight." She smiles.

"Well then, if that's all, you'd better get to bed, it's late." I nod then turn and go upstairs.

Back in my room, I take a deep breath. I need to stop thinking like this. If I think about it too much, eventually one day something will slip. I can't do anything to further anger the Capitol. I'm sure that my mother and Prim's names may already be on some killer's list. After hearing what happened to Haymitch, I can believe how easy it would be to arrange an 'accident'. Sighing, I undress and get into bed. I clutch the covers tight around me, as if they can protect me from the world. How I wish they could. Closing my eyes, I feel a single drop roll out, dragging down my cheeks and splashing quietly onto my pillow. My hands grip tightly into my hair, my shoulders shaking with the effort of keeping quiet.

**Author's Note: I can't tell you how good it feels to have finally written this. I promise, I'm not abandoning you all, but genuinely my life has been so busy at the minute I've barely had space to breathe! I'm hoping it'll get easier soon because I really want to finish this. Thanks for putting up with me and I'm sorry for not updating more regularly. I'll try not to take as long next time! Just want to say a huge thankyou to Nathan Sykes for his amazing music because I don't think I could have got through the past few months without his music. Seriously, check it out guys, it's genuinely one of the best albums I've ever heard in my life. It's called Unfinished Business, give it a listen!**

**Love,**

**Mjenney21 xxx**


	43. Terror

**Author's Note: Hi guys, since I've made a promise to myself that I'm going to update more, here I am! I just wanted to say, thank you so much for your messages that I received while I was gone and after I posted this chapter. Your support and encouragement means so much, more than I can ever say. Special thanks to Doppelganger08, your message made me so emotional, its lovely to feel appreciated and to know that you've missed me. It inspires me to continue writing, so this chapter is for you!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything that belongs to the Hunger Games franchise. It's the property of Suzanne Collins.**

_My hands grip tightly into my hair, my shoulders shaking with the effort of keeping quiet._

Chapter 43

_I open my eyes and jump back in shock. The familiar grey surroundings of District 12 are gone, replaced by the pastel swirls of the Capitol. My heart pounds unnaturally in my chest, thumping a strange rhythm that leaves me gasping for breath. I try to move but find I'm stuck, my wrists held above my head in menacing manacles, digging into the soft flesh, leaving behind dark circles edged with yellow, red drops of agony leaking out and dropping to the pavement, staining the magenta stone. As I attempt to move the handcuffs rattle, metal links sliding together and echoing around the square. Everywhere I look, Capitolites cheer with anticipation. In the mass of candy-coloured wigs, I think I spot Effie. I scream her name, begging for her to help me. Her blue eyes lock onto mine, and she tilts her head almost like she is considering helping me. _

"_Effie! Please, help me!" I beg. All I want is to be set free, to run, far away from here where no-one will ever find me. She takes a step forward, teetering precariously in her platform heels._

"_Darling, you can't be helped! It's just simply not feasible. Anyway, who would help you now? They'd have to be positively insane!" Then she turns smartly and disappears into the kaleidoscope of colours. I call her name again, determined not to cry in front of these people. I will not show them any weakness. _

_The high-pitched whine of an intercom rings out across the square and my head whips around, searching for the origin of the noise. I inhale sharply as I realize where I am. I'm chained to a post in front of the President's Mansion and too my right, he stands on a balcony. Beneath him, the emblem of Panem is emblazoned on a crimson flag that flutters freely in the cool breeze. _

"_Good afternoon, citizens of Panem!" President Snow declares, a triumphant smirk stamped across his face. Then I realize, I am not just on display to the Capitol but the whole of Panem. The cameras swarm around me like flies buzzing over a corpse on a hot summer's day. In disgust, I spit at one and it lands on the lens; sliding down and leaving a smear on the glittering glass. Good. Maybe that smear of spit will show my hatred of them all. Who cares if the secret is out? They must know that I despise them, every single one of them. Blood boils in my veins and my anger surges over me then retreats, leaving me quivering with hatred. "We are gathered here today to witness the wedding of the Star-Crossed Lovers, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark." Gasping, I look down and sure enough I'm dressed in what once was a wedding dress. The white satin is dingy and stained with blood, and it has been torn so that I am on display for the world to see. Another wave of fury washes over me. How dare they expose me like this? If this is supposed to be my wedding day, then why am I chained? Why am I dressed so shamefully? "Well, what would have been their wedding day. Miss Everdeen has made sure that this day would never happen. The woman you see below me, is a traitor to our glorious nation. She has inspired hatred and division amongst us, but we are stronger than her tiny band of followers. We as a country have given so much to her and this is how she repays us, with cruelty, with a misguided sense of justice. Panem will no longer suffer her evil. So regretfully, I inform you that Katniss Everdeen has been sentenced to death."_

_As a unified gasp travels through the crowd, I close my eyes, smiling a little. I will finally be free. They will have a hold on me no longer. Then, one by one, I hear the crowd clapping. They are pleased to witness my death. I have been nothing but a chess piece in their Games, and I am done playing their pathetic little games. Opening my eyes, I realize the cameras are trained on me. Suddenly, I grow bold. I should tell them what I really think. I'm going to die anyway, so why not?_

"_Fuck you!" I yell, my voice cracking and hoarse, but when I speak, the square goes silent. All the camera's train on me, reflecting my face, covered in dirt, shining with sweat, my eyes black with animalistic hatred. "Why are you denying yourselves? My death means nothing. One more traitor, one more death. Just another statistic. I did not choose this path! I wanted to live in District 12, hunting in the woods with Gale, cuddling my sister, growing old with Peeta. I did not choose to have Prim reaped. I had no choice. I had to kill Marvel, Glimmer, the girl from District 4, Cato. Four children who also did not have a choice. Four people who should have lived till they were old and grey. I am no traitor. The traitor is the one who stands on your balcony, the one who wears the white rose, the one who vows to make Panem great once more. The real enemy, is Snow!" Another collective gasp echoes through the crowd and all eyes turn to Snow, who's clutching the stone wall at his side in horror. His snake-like eyes glare at me, burning deep into my head. I do not blink. I do not turn my head. Instead, I stare him out. Then, he seems to recover; standing tall and grasping the microphone with a wrinkled hand._

"_Clearly Miss Everdeen has taken leave of her senses." He spits angrily. "She has twisted the foundations that this great nation was built on and is using that to excuse her despicable actions. Already, she has killed the ones she loves. Her mother, her sister, her beloved cousins, they are all dead because of her actions." My heart shatters into a thousand pieces. "Even the one who she claims who she loves, she has sealed his fate. Peeta Mellark was killed this morning, in punishment for his crimes against Panem." Snow watches my face carefully and I force myself to stay impassive, though I want to break down and cry. Peeta, my Peeta, can he really be dead? Surely, they wouldn't have killed him. I take a look at Snow's face and I know he is not lying. So all my family are dead. Gale and the Hawthorne's, they are dead. How many more victims do I have? The list seems endless. Peeta… A sob chokes and sticks in my throat. Peeta, one of the only people that I could say with conviction that I love, is dead because of me. No, not because of me, because of the Capitol. I look round at the crowd one last time, letting my hatred shine through. A glint out of the corner of my eye catches my attention. The weapon is black and shiny, the polish glinting in the sunlight. The peacekeeper wears pristine white gloves, wrapped firmly around the handle, fingers ready to fire. I stare at him impassively, daring him to shoot. If he has the guts to kill me, he must look into my eyes while I die. I hope my face haunts him. Bang! The noise echoes around the square and I can think no more…_

"No!" I screech, grasping the bedsheets, knuckles turning white with the force of my grip. Breathing heavily, I force myself out of bed, running out of my room and into the hallway. I throw open Prim's door, the bang of the door echoing through the silent house. I shrink away from the sound, rushing towards Prim's bed. There, she is curled up like a newborn kitten, her golden hair spread out around her face. The breath leaves my body and I slump to the carpeted floor, burying my face in my hands.

"What the hell?" A voice exclaims, then a tiny body is wrapped around me, comforting arms pulling me close. I sob into the cotton, the fresh scent of clean linen and lavender filling my nostrils.

"Prim!" I choke her name and she pulls me closer, stroking my damp hair.

"Hey, calm down." She whispers comfortingly, her voice bringing me closer and closer to reality. "Katniss, you're okay. You're safe, I promise."

I'm not sure how long we sit there, all jumbled limbs and racing heartbeats. Taking a deep breath, I make my limp body sit up and push away from Prim, drawing my knees up to my chest and locking my arms around them to form a ball. Prim looks at me, her forehead crinkled in concern and guilt wracks through my body. She shouldn't be frowning. Her face is too young and innocent to frown.

"What happened?" She questions gently, kneeling over me and laying a comforting hand on my knee. I try my hardest not to flinch away.

"I'm not sure," I murmur. What did happen? My memory feels like a broken mirror, pieces of fragmented glass, cracked and broken lies shattered in my head. "I had a dream…the Capitol, Snow…they hurt you and mother, and Peeta!" My voice cracks and I bite my lip, fighting the tears away. Prim hugs me tightly once more.

"It's not real!" She assures me. "See, I'm alive, I'm okay." Gently, she strokes my sweaty hair away from my forehead where it lies in matted clumps stuck to my olive skin. "Mother's fine, she's fast asleep. I'm sure Peeta is too."

"You promise?" I ask, still not completely certain that she's telling me the truth.

"I promise." She repeats, looking deep into my eyes. For a second, I pull her close. I rest my chin on her golden hair, closing my eyes. For a second, I can still pretend that I'm still a normal girl from the Seam, that I didn't win the Hunger Games. But then I have to open my eyes, and I'm grounded in reality.

"I'm sorry." I murmur after a moment of silence.

"Shhh." Prim admonishes, hugging me closer. "Its what sisters are for, right?" I smile a little then stand up, wobbling slightly on shaky legs.

"I'll be fine." I reassure her, running my hands through my matted hair. "I think I'll go for a walk, it'll do me good to get some fresh air." Prim just looks at me, assessing me with her eyes.

"If you're sure…" She trails off, biting her lip.

"I am." I reply, turning and heading back to my room. As I open the door, I wrinkle my nose in disgust. This room stinks. It reeks of sweat and panic. I throw open the window, taking a deep breath at the fresh air. Even though it's early morning, the sun still has not yet risen. Autumn mornings, I think with a sigh. The town is still sleeping, even the bakery fire has not yet been lit. The only thing that seems to be alive is the coal mines, which constantly belts out ugly grey smoke that hangs in the air and makes you choke. Still, after sixteen years of living here, I guess I'm kinda used to it. Turning away from the window, I drag off my sweaty pyjamas and pull on a random long-sleeved t-shirt and trousers, uncaring whether they match or not. I need to check on Peeta. Prim and my mother may be fine, but I can't guarantee Peeta's safety. I have to make sure he's okay. Quickly, I undo my braid, ripping a brush through the knots. Leaving it loose; I flee down the stairs, pulling on the first pair of shoes I can find, not bothering with a coat. With shaking hands, I unlock the front door, the keys clinking with each tiny movement. I throw open the door and run out into the dark, the cool wind making my teeth chatter and my shoulders shake with the effort of trying to stay warm. My feet pound into the pavement, hard, fast, a staccato rhythm that matches the beat of my heart. I rush up Peeta's steps, then stop dead at the front door. What's the point in knocking if he's dead? No-one will answer! Biting my lip, I spin on my heel and creep around the edge of the house, hoping to spot an open window somewhere. No such luck. I attempt to open some of them but they stick, and I give up, knowing they must be locked from the inside. Of course. The Capitol wouldn't want anyone to find his body. My breath becomes haggard and my body shudders with emotion. No. I need to find Peeta. Looking up, I spy a large window, not wide open, but open enough that I could squeeze in if I tried. To my left, a trellis is nailed to the brick, but with no foliage attached. Most of the plants have died now. It's too cold. I breathe warm air into my frozen fingers, wiggling them to get the circulation back. I tuck my hair behind my ears, looking up at the window nervously. Can I do this? Just pretend it's a tree Katniss, I think to myself. You can do this. It's for Peeta.

I plant one foot into a space, testing the weight of the wood. Please hold, I silently beg. I can't afford to break a window. That'll be my only remaining option if this doesn't work, but I don't want to alert the whole District until I'm sure about what's happened. Taking a deep breath, I grip the trellis, my knuckles bursting under my skin. Then I climb. Clinging to the trellis, I look down. I'm only a foot above the floor, but this is the time for it to break. At this height, I wouldn't hurt myself. At the top, well, that's another matter. I scurry up the trellis before it can change its mind and throw me back to the ground. After a few seconds, I'm finally at the top. Gripping the windowsill, I swing my body around so that I'm perched on the sill, facing the rest of Victor's Village. I tug at the window, hoping it will open. Finally, it gives way and opens wide, allowing me to slip into the room unnoticed. I land with a thud on the carpet, holding my breath. Silence. I stand up and begin to walk into the room when a noise makes me pause.

"Show yourself!" A voice yells. I freeze. "I'm armed!" The voice comes again. My heart pounds in my chest. Suddenly the light switches on and I have to blink to adjust my eyes. Peeta stands a few feet away from me, crouched into a fighting stance with a rolling pin firm in his grip.

"Peeta!" I whimper with relief, running to him and throwing my arms around him. "I thought…I thought." I trail off, now realizing what an idiot I've been. Of course Peeta's not harmed! It was a dream.

"Katniss?" Peeta exclaims, his arms hugging me tight. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I…I don't know!" I burst out, the pent-up emotion I've been holding back washes over me and suddenly, I'm drowning uncontrollably. I cling to Peeta like a rock while wave after wave of emotion hits me. My eyes burn with tears, my body shaking with panic. Peeta doesn't say anything, he just holds me whilst I cry all over his chest. His skin is warm against my frozen body and wait…I look down and realize he's just stood there in his underwear while I sob against him. The thought of Peeta waiting for an attacker in his boxers with a rolling pin suddenly makes me laugh hysterically. Now Peeta seems alarmed. I probably look deranged, clothes out of place, eyes wild with panic, laughing uncontrollably. He quirks a blonde eyebrow at me, his expression torn between concern and panic.

"Katniss? Are you okay?" He questions approaching me slowly like you would a defenseless animal. I smile weakly at him.

"I'm okay now." I reply. "I'm sorry, I had a dream you see and I…I needed to see if you were okay." I look down at the beige carpet, embarrassed. A hand under my chin forces me to look into his eyes.

"Katniss. It's okay. If you need that reassurance, that's fine. It's sweet that you care." I smile gently, relaxing under his touch.

"Really?" I ask, my heartbeat beating slower now.

"Really." He confirms, pulling me close and kissing me gently. The kiss is soft, sweet, chaste and it makes me smile. My arms loop around his neck, running my fingers through the curls at the nape of his neck. Slowly, I tug them slightly and he groans, pressing his lips harder against mine. His hands grow tighter around my waist, pulling me closer to his body. Now, I'm stood between his legs and all I can feel is warmth. Gently, he breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against mine. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine now." I reply, pressing my face into his chest, then blush a little when I realize he's basically wearing no clothes. "Why aren't you wearing anything?" I ask him and he looks down, shocked, almost like he's forgotten that fact.

"I was asleep!" He protests. "I don't normally sleep fully dressed Katniss!" I giggle, my cheeks blooming scarlet. He smirks. "Why, do you want me to get dressed?" He asks, strutting around the room. "Can you not handle my nakedness?" He teases.

"No, so put some clothes on before I throw myself at you." I laugh, throwing a cushion at him. He clutches it to his body, then goes over to his drawer and throws a t-shirt on. Is it bad to say that I'm ever so slightly disappointed?

"What if I want you to throw yourself at me?" He chuckles and I quirk my eyebrow at him.

"Peeta, just get dressed." He laughs, pulling on some jeans. After he's dressed, we head downstairs where he lights the fire. The comforting glow cascades light around the room and I breathe a heavy sigh of relief. The Girl On Fire…I think and try to think about other things. Peeta boils the kettle and hands me a mug of tea. We stand in the kitchen, drinking tea in silence.

"Wanna help me bake?" Peeta asks suddenly. I nod, happy for the distraction but suddenly feel extremely apprehensive.

"Are you sure?" I question, setting my empty mug on the metallic draining board. "I mean, are you really gonna trust me with food?" Peeta looks at me, rolling his eyes.

"Sure. I mean what's the worst that can happen?"

**Author's Note: I'm so happy this is finally finished. And it's not taken me months to do it! Hopefully the next chapter will be out even quicker. We'll see! Anyway, I hope you're all doing okay and that you have a wonderful Valentine's Day. Even if you're not in a relationship, please don't feel miserable about it. Just put on Beyoncé's Single Ladies and dance your way through the day! **

**Love, **

**Mjenney21 xxx**


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